All Comments on 'My Game of two Halves Ch. 01'

I took a punt on reading this because I recognised the NZ connection to the author's name (Rakiura is the original Maori name for what is also known as Stewart Island, the third largest of the islands that make up NZ), and it's an interesting start to the story.

If I were to offer any criticism it would be that the start lacked a sense of impending doom. That's a very crude way of putting it, but I didn't feel my heart racing or my spidery senses tingling until the very end. Perhaps it's because the author told us right at the beginning that things would go downhill so I was already prepared for it, rather than being surprised.

I also didn't feel much empathy for any of the characters, especially the protagonist.

Anyway, not a bad story and I'll read the rest when it comes out. Thanks for writing it.

The last thing anyone in authority would say over the phone...there would have been an officer knocking at his door to take him to the hospital, or, at the very least a phone call telling him that his wife had been involved in an incident and was in hospital.

Mate, please ease up on the "wordiness". You don't have to use 25 words to say something when 15 will do. ie Don't be so verbose.

Plus, please remember that Palmerston North does not get shortened to Palmerston. (They are different towns) Palmy is fine though.

Keep up the good work. It's great to see other Kiwis here. Cheers.

Simply awful.

1 star

I only got as far as the third paragraph before pulling the plug. This story might actually be enjoyable to some, but when writing about an architect from the 30’s, (past event), I would expect the author would use the past tense. Example: “He meets an attractive South American lady on the plane” might be written as “ He met an attractive South American lady on the plane”. Maybe I’m picky, but stuff like this matters. Keep writing...hopefully you’ll improve. No rating for this.

All is said

This is not one of the better stories told here!

Sounds like she got hers... so much it hurt her kitty...

Do leopards change their spots?...She is what she is, what she is. LP