My Life as My Father's Slave Ch. 05

So, apart from the sessions with Mike, Bill, and my ex-friend Jake (who also sometimes joined), also not excessively frequent, my life was otherwise not that different from what I had become accustomed to. However, there was a dramatic change: it was now forever, there was no hope that it would ever end, and, above all, for me the most terrible thing was to see my father, my dear dad, my friend, my confidant, the person who had loved me most in the world, turned into an icy, heartless being with no feelings for me other than disgust and contempt.

It was clear to me that I did not want to live like that. I could not stand that life, let alone my dad's indifference and contempt. Therefore, I began to plan my suicide. It would not be difficult. The hours my father spent at work I was at home alone and with all the means at my disposal: ropes, knives... anything I could use. Incredible as it may seem, it stopped me a little to think that my death could hurt my dad. I realized that I still loved him, much more than I thought or would have liked. But I soon convinced myself, telling myself that my father no longer cared anything about what happened to me, for him I was now less than an animal, I was an object to be used, like a chair or a toothbrush.

The day came when I had decided to do it. Finally, my plan was to slit my wrists. I didn't know much about it, but I figured I would be able to do it, and it seemed less complicated than hanging myself. However, was it providence, a miracle from heaven? Something happened that day that was to bring new hope into my life...

To be continued...