All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Pt. 06 Ch. 12'

All this violence when we could be using giant breasts like a fun bouncy castle instead, hopping up and down nakedly before the time cums to extract the ejaculate all over the place, but oh wait, I can’t even get smiling Erections anymore now that sex acts have been replaced with men fisting each other’s faces and shooting phallic guns that aren’t their cock-a-doodles.

The brutality and the raw emotion written here stunned me. Love the action and the tension during both the action and the scenes where the other characters receive word. An incredible display once again by you, sir. A heartfelt salute from me, eagerly anticipating the next chapter.

Thanks

Your letting the wrong people win way to much. You should have turned Angela mind to mush. But instead you kick Jack and Julias asses that is so WRONG. I give you 5 stars for your writing skill and talent but man I hate the direction your taking this story.

Wow! Cry havoc!

Thanks again:)

That was fvcking insane , I have been following this story for years but I have never had d urge to comment , this is insane, like a bad ass keanu reeves movie

First time leaving comment. OI really enjoy your writing and the story. Despite not being a fan of the vampire and werewolf genre I look forward to each chapter. But for pity's sake would you just have Jack kill that psychotic bitch once and for all!

It's not garbage, yea I wish it was even jack that used all that pent up anger, frustrations and fear to summon something bigger than even d beast inside him to crush angela, but it's not my story neither is it urs, and truthfully d story rocks. I fvcking love it that sex it's not d focus and the main character doesn't get to win all d time, NovusAnimus just gotta balance it, for fvck sake jack is already a right hand, someone that is just barely a year embrace,his ass needed to b kicked, I only hope he doesn't turn out to b another viktor. But again we r humans,is d harmless adorable little child that turns out to b a terrorist tomorrow,this is life and it fvcks with u and it's definitely fvcking jack up right now

And now we wait for the resolution to the hospital battle. It was cool seeing Julias demonstrate his power and be all badass. Up till now he’s been more lover than fighter. Also think it’s high time Daniel got back to kicking ass. I know he’s the trump card of the story almost assuring victory so he needs to be kept out of the action off doing “stuff” or there wouldn’t be any dramatic tension but I find him interesting and would like him more involved. Oh and for those who are complaining about not enough boob stuff get your fix with a simple stroke story because this ain’t that. This is high end action adventure in a paranormal world. I think it’s brilliant just the way it is.

Sorry if some readers are frustrated that the story keeps throwing some pain your way, but I never intended to write a story of purely happy situations. There will be pain, and plenty of it.

But, I'm not going to write only pain either. Things will turn around, there will be happiness, people will fuck merrily, etc. Lows create context for the highs, though.

Be happy I'm not G.R.R. Martin, or Kentarou Miura :)

This is the first time I've commented on a story ever, I love your writing style and imagination. This is an epic story and I hope that you stay on and finish it. These are the types of stories I prefer to read, the sex scenes are great but the action and drama are fantastic. It is very well balanced and I applaud you on that, yes it sucks to see the protagonist of any story suffer so much but that is how life can be and it usually ultimately leads to a tormented character becoming something incredible due to the struggles they have had to endure. Thank you for all the writing you have done thus far.

This has become one of my favorite stories ever. I would pay to read this.

Yeah, it seems a little telegraphed but great suspense build. It makes sense but as soon as I read the words “flesh magic” it all made sense. I suspect two possible options: Turio is teaching or has taught Elen OR IS Elen. If you can manipulate flesh you can manipulate your own. Plus I know Vampire: The Masquerade well. It explains the ridiculous obsession with Jack. Turio found out who really killed Lucius and has plotted this revenge so that the Prince will kill the Hunters and she’ll never be suspected. It also explains how the Hunters are always ready for the vampires interference. The traps are just a littttttttle too convenient. After existing decades or hundreds of years how can None of the most absolutely paranoid creatures on Earth not see that there is obviously a traitor among them. Has to be high ranking to have minute by minute updates. And knowing all that stuff about Jack and the Prince the first time they captured him? Someone high ranking fed that intel. High ranking. Has a grudge. Most likely Primogen. Gee, who fits the bill? One way to find out, lie to Invictus Council about a certain plan and see how the Hunters react. Oh and go into the next fight Mammothly over armed. The Hunters feel like the hold a weapons advantage and are highly overconfident. Teach them a lesson. Let the cannon fodder find out what they’re truly facing.

So question/supposition: Why oh why are the vampires so woefully prepared to take on the Hunters?! I mean, seriously, they suck. Some big bad multinational corporation and they can’t get body armor or equip better weapons?? And before anyone attempts to say “they’re wearing suits it would stick out” I direct you to the U.S. Secret Service. They are highly protected by armor and armed to the teeth. And not just with pistols. It’s possible to walk around in suits and still have enough firepower to hold back a SEAL Team. “Why would vampires need body armor?” Uh, because the fewer holes you have to patch with vitæ the more they have in use to perform other things.

Next, why aren’t they using the Nosferatu that hide in the tunnels as guides? Or using the Kindred with Animalism to send a swarm of rats and such before them? I can see not wanting to telegraph their arrival so maybe limit it to one or two rats but still that seems like they’re limiting themselves a ton.

Why is the Circle of the Crone out searching...ANYTHING??!! The Hunters are using some form of magic, and yet the ONE clan (Ordo Dracul seems to be merely sitting this out and giving orders despite Natasha’s involvement) that can counteract or even counterattack the Hunters biggest weapon is out...searching?? Where’s the sense in that? The Circle getting caught out by magic is close to the dictionary definition of “pathetic”. They should be the opposite of carrying firearms, the should all have talismans and nasty little surprises of their own. Jacob shouldn’t give a shit what the search is for he should be dry humping the wall for a chance to teach The Circle about their capabilities in a fight or what the hell is Cruac even really about if it’s useless when the chips are down. It’s fucking crazy that they didn’t have some blood soaked ash or something to disorient the Hunters. It was all straight gun fighting and hand to hand??? What the hell?!

Anyway, just some questions/plot points I think have some holes in them. But despite how my comment appears I couldn’t have asked those questions or point out any issues if I hadn’t read every word and liked it immensely. You’re pretty damn on point so far. Please keep this running for a long time to come. Think your writing is fantastic.

NovusAnimus must be part Kindred.

Best Chronicle of Darkness Ever!

5*

"Get the fuck off my childe." Felt like he was channeling Sigourney Weaver/Ripley.

Damn straight am glad you aren't those writers but still it will be nice if good things start coming their way.Thanks as always 5 🌟

Thanks for the feedback! This is extremely useful, thank you.

A lot of your points about the lack of preparedness on the Kindred's part has to do with the state of Dolareido. They aren't prepared for hunters because Dolareido normally never has to deal with them. Also, the hunters are proving to be unusually skilled and prepared. For most Kindred in Dolareido, this event has been like throwing a toddler into the ocean, asking them to swim.

Jacob hasn't been creating tools for his small circle, because the man is mostly 'retired', as has been explained. Him teaching the few Cruac rituals he has, has been a step out of the norm for him.

Daniel has been searching for what he and the Prince consider a greater threat. Maybe a mistake, maybe not.

The Invictus are walking around with plenty of firepower, considering the sweeper teams are reconnaissance teams.

Though from the way you've described things, I've done a poor job setting Dolareido up as a 'low level' setting. My Little Ventrue is supposed to be a far more 'pulled back' version of Vampire: the Requiem, and even more pulled back compared to the insanity you find in Vampire: the Masquerade. Violence between Kindred is extremely low, and hunters almost never come to Dolareido. If that isn't coming across in the story, there were probably sections of the story I didn't do a good job writing.

He has some good points. Yes, your vamps have gotten soft without any real fighting to keep the young ones sharp. But the old ones remember and prepare, Jacob in particular. (He could be such an awesome character. Spin-off?) More importantly, the hunters know way too much and have no reason to know it. Despite spending their entire lives trying to kill a couple nightmares, they know almost everything about vamps and werewolves but don't seem to know anything about finding a nightmare, even with having one. I am hoping you find a way to explain the hunters and their limitless resources.

But yeah, I have totally been waiting to see Julias kick ass. That was awesome. I am hoping that we get to see a little of what Antoinette can do as well.

I just want to add to the interesting comments here. I agree that the hunters seem "over-prepared", but I do get the sense that prior to Jack's initiation, things were (relatively) peaceful, except for vampire-on-vampire infighting.

I don't know if "Dolareido" is a reference to El Dorado -- my association here is with Candide (Voltaire) -- in which case it is quite amusing -- as the city is painted as a utopia-of-sorts, or something that strives towards it.

The death of Viktor and Tony, two elders and major political figures in the vampire world, left a power vacuum, since the city is highly hierarchal and governed from top-down. This, among other things (there are hints that Antoinette's pursuits aren't necessarily helping the city's peace, despite her avowed intentions... possibly she does not realise), means that the infrastructure and lines of communication are not as smooth as they usually would be. That's one.

Secondly, I don't know where Novus stands politically, but Antoinette seems like a benign monarch. If indeed her objective is to have a utopia where kine and kindred co-exist relatively happily and sexually liberally, then I see no reason why extensive preparations, even with the Invictus, would be underway, as compared to other cities. Consider our own reality where the richest countries don't necessarily have the biggest armies or defence budgets (as % GDP). Quite possibly more of the resources in the city are channelled towards other things.

Thirdly, the hunters are small, and the vampires loom large. As the Vietnam War showed, guerrilla tactics can go a long way. Because they seem to be a well-organised, small, highly-skilled elite team, they can more easily evade the vampire's sprawling network, especially when the city has not seen open war with hunters for ages. They're playing smart, and hit Jack where it hurts, because of his importance to both the Invictus and the Prince (he is the childe of one of the members of the ruling triumvirate, the partner of the monarch, and has important diplomatic links as a vampire emissary to both the werewolves and Begotten) This tempts him to act irrationally, because he's in pain, and that's exactly what they want. After a fashion, that both Julias and Jack were in the hospital is their triumph, even if they lose the longer fight (they predicted, correctly, that Jack and his sire wouldn't heartlessly ignore Jack's human kin[e]). The question is: what exactly do the hunters want? I doubt it's simply about Azamel and Jeremiah.

Jack pretty much just came off as a little bitch in this chapter. I really expected more out of him.

Dude, we haven't gotten to see Julia's go full tank. This rocks. Terrifying, but awesome. I'm super impressed with how you're playing Jack's emotional turmoil out here. I keep waiting for you to take the easy emotional out, but he keeps getting more demented. Thanks so much for sharing your world!

You really wrote Angela well.... I absolutely loathe her

I am hoping that this is not a spoiler alert, but I think I believe Angela when she stated that she did not kill Jack’s sister, or almost kill his mother.

I believe it was done by the same company that is working with Gary. They tried to send a message by killing Erich, but since that did not work, they are doing it by a round about way of killing Jack’s family and screwing with him. As Angela said, They are just taking advantage of the situation.

If this is the case, then, either it is this company, or yet another way that Maria is betraying the Invictus to throw them off of the scent of what she is doing.

Either way, or if I have it completely wrong, lol, I am absolutely loving the story, and as I have said before, you are a brilliant writer and hope that you eventually get the credit and fame that you so much deserve.

Sincerely,

Daniel