All Comments on 'My Mommy’s Love'

Well written, good editing. Subject not my liking.

I enjoyed it. Just needs some editing. Let's see part 2.

Good stuff, I've never really been one for chastity and feminization, but you really sold 'em. The violence is great too, especially when we see just how rough this world can get with the home invasion rape. Definitely could use a bit of editing, but nothing that takes me too out of it.

You said this was written in a shot amount of time, and that's clearly visible. It feels very raw, like an early draft. You outlined the story, however simple, but didn't really go into characters, their motivations, or went back to polish the scenes or fix the pacing.

The story is quite derivative and doesn't have any side-plots, which by itself isn't bad, but at this word count, it makes the reading experience a bit dull. The characters aren't fleshed out at all, we know what they are, but we barely know who they are. This, compounded by a very straightforward story, fails to make the reader care about what happens in your work. All of the scenes feel very rough around the edges, some more than others, but generally they feel very unpolished. Some people are quick to forgive a lot if at least the sex scenes are good, but that is not the case either. Nor am I one of those people.

The pacing isn't good either, but I'm not sure how much of it was from a warped time perception from not caring what happens in the story. The story escalated very quickly to when he was trapped, then moved on very flatly while he adjusted, the invasion felt like it came out of nowhere and the aftermath of it felt pretty flat (this is where the characters being poorly developed really hurt any possible impact these scenes could have had), so the conclusion didn't really provide any satisfaction because I still didn't care at that point, and the "twist" of Rose having staged the invasion with her friend didn't feel impressive at all. As it was a barely set-up, questionable plan. Jack was slowly but surely submitting to Rose, so there was barely any call for extreme measures, which weren't even that extreme considering Emma was barely harder on him than Rose was. It didn't even make sense in-universe: Emma was a home invader, a criminal, so she shouldn't have made Jack compare herself to Emma; she wasn't an alternative mistress, she was simply a violent criminal.

To sum up, this was on the verge of not being worth reading. Barely average. Which is a shame, since I can see this being good if you took your time to polish it and flesh it out.

In the future, I advise you to take some time to plan out the story first. The concept of the story, the main characters and their motivations that will make them act within the concept, the plot, as in what happens and when — all that will really help with the pacing. Then once you're done, you should take a break to get your mind out of it, and then re-read it to make sure that the pacing is good, the story is well-structured and fun, the characters are fleshed out, and the scenes are polished. And if it so happens that you just get a spark of inspiration and create something unplanned and quickly, it doesn't mean that you need to post it as quickly. It will be harder to polish something like that compared to a planned-out story, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't take the effort to begin with.

I loved this story so much, please write more like this. please please

I didn't like this story. Poor guy was forced into oral sex over and over. Raped over and over, and just when he was starting to get used to it, brutally raped harder than before by yet another Futa. He was scared most of the time. Scared enough to do anything he was told to do. Even set up for the brutal rape by the Futa that wanted to be called mommy. I didn't rate this story. I didn't want to hurt whatever rating you had. Please think about right better happier stories in the future. I did like the pizza guy,

You can just feel the self insert

A 9 hour flight ?!?

Where the fuck did he go ?

Montréal - Lyon is 7 hours