My Mother, the Spy

I winced.

He said, "Now can you tell me who your accomplices are, you could not have afflicted that damage alone, yes?"

I tried to see who he was, my eye was damaged and tight shut.

"I will give you a little time to think, Hans, wash her down. Her blood offends me."

The soldier threw a bucket of ice-cold water at me, and they left. I think I was there a few days; they came back and dragged me up into the main ballroom, sitting me down and tied to a chair. I was interrogated for days, I hoped they would kill me soon.

I was thrown back down the stairs into the cellar, this repeated day after day until one day I was to be taken to area HQ. I heard a guard saying about a firing squad, at last the pain would be at an end.

As I was being led to the car I heard machine gun fire, I was too weak to care if I lived or died. My eyes were too injured to see where it was coming from. I felt the hands on me fall away, I fell to the ground. The next thing I remember was being held by Harry. He spoke to me and carried me to a truck. He held me in the back of a truck rocking me in his arms as he cried.

"You are safe my love, you are safe."

I remember him saying this over and over as he cried holding me tightly.

It took weeks for me to recover enough to walk unaided. We were holed up outside Antwerp in an old farmhouse of a family friend.

"They killed them Alice, the bastards killed my parents. They dragged them from the shop and shot them like dogs in the street. I will kill every fucking one of them if it is the last thing I ever do.

We got you out a month ago, we need to move soon, they are still looking for us."

We stayed there a couple of weeks longer but had to move when enemy troops were sighted nearby. We moved across country, avoiding towns and villages as best we could. We were trying to get to friends in Zeebrugge. Maybe we could get a boat to England.

We got to the outskirts of Gent and was told there was no chance, the resistance in Zeebrugge had been all but destroyed. We diverted and made our way towards Kortrijk, near the French border. Friends there were our last hope.

It was getting harder to hide from troops now, I was also getting bigger, but at least it looked like the weather had broken. Spring made the countryside we were scrambling through seem a nicer place.

At last, around mid-April we sighted the town of Kortrijk. We waited until dark, I stayed hidden while Harry went into town. The next day he found me and told me he had made contact.

We were found a safe house to hide out. We were going to be helped across the border to France, from there on to the coast and a boat to England. Home at last, I thought of James for the first time in months.

The resistance in Kortrijk helped me to make contact with London, a reply said to wait at Ypres at a specified location. They would send help.

I did not know the help would be James, he would fly to me to bring me home.

We made our way to Ypres, it was not that far maybe 30-40km, we could do it in two days now the weather was better.

We travelled at night; it was hard. I was close to my time now, very close. Just as we saw the town of Ypres a small convoy of German soldiers spotted us. The lorry at the front stopped, a soldier came towards us pointing his rifle at me. Harry stepped in front of me and spoke to him in German. At the same time another soldier came towards us.

Harry turned to me and with a worried look on his face said, "Hit the ground as soon as the shooting starts. I love you, Alice."

He took the pistol from his shirt and shot the man near him, the other soldier took aim and started firing. Harry killed him too.

I remember shouting to him as he took the machine gun, Harry looked back "GET DOWN!"

I fell and laid still, face down in the long grass. Harry screamed and charged at the convoy firing toward them. The guns opened with force; it was the last time I saw him alive.

I did not move until I was sure the convoy had moved on. I found him lying dead, hundreds of bullets had riddled his body. He saved us. He gave his life to save me and the baby. I sat with him all day and held his lifeless body until it was dark. My heart was broken, I hated to leave him, but I had to.

I made my way into Ypres and found safety in a barn.

I had to find a cobbler's shop and ask for Mrs. Lambert. I was to say, "Hello, I have a pair of green shoes to re-sole, can you help." The reply would be, "Sorry we do not repair green shoes here."

All went well, I made contact and waited to hear from London about the rescue. I was there nearly a week when I heard James's voice in the front of the shop speaking in broken French.

I rushed through the curtain, not thinking of anything. I saw James and rushed into his arms.

"James, James, it is you!"

He looked shocked, he looked at my face, then at my belly, then again up to my face. He wrapped his arms around me as best he could, I broke down sobbing. I could not stop; Mrs. Lambert helped us back through the curtain and into the back of the shop.

"Please keep quiet, shut her up now!"

James held me in his arms and kissed my forehead.

"We will talk about this later." He said, pointing to my stomach, I could see he was upset, very upset.

Mrs. Lambert put us up for two more days,

"You have to go," she said.

"Troop movement is becoming a bit erratic; we need to get you safer. I have arranged to get you both to a convent just outside the city, you will be safe there for a while, at least until the baby comes. Which by the look of you will be very soon."

That afternoon we were smuggled out to the convent. I gave birth to Harry's daughter. I named her Heidi after his mother.

After one week the nuns said, a friendly face from the town had told them the Germans were coming through the countryside, checking every dwelling for spies. We had to go, or risk being shot. We couldn't cross the country with a baby, the nuns said they would take my daughter and hide her.

It was the hardest decision of my life, but my choice was taking her and being caught. Probably shot and maybe very likely Heidi killed also. Or leave her with the nuns.

The following morning James and myself left the convent, I cried so many tears for her. I hated to leave her, but I had to, I had to keep my baby safe.

We made it to the French coast in three days, a fishing boat took us across the channel and dropped us offshore at Dungeness. From there we hitched on a hay wagon to Lydd. I had left my Heidi with them hoping to get back there as soon as I could.

We did go back, it took me a year or two, but the convent was no more, it was derelict. My baby was gone, killed. I prayed to God again that she was safe.

*********************************************

Michelle had managed to get through the whole story without choking up. Heidi was clinging to me in bits as her daughter read from the book. Mary and Alice looked like they had not slept for days, they had mascara streaks to their chins. Between us we had gone through two boxes of tissues. It was dark outside now; patrons were beginning to fill the place.

Alex, the manager said,

"It is best if we take this upstairs, ladies."

We packed our things up and he led us up to his private suites.

After the story by Michelle, the emotions we were all feeling were distressing and draining. I felt like I had been put through a wringer.

We had no idea our mum had been through so much. I so, so, wished she had spoken of these things to us before she died.

"Your father was a great man, Heidi; I had no idea. I'll be honest I didn't like him before we came."

"I can understand that." She said.

"But please, do not underestimate the man your own father was, he came out here to save her. He forgave what she did unconditionally, your mother told me as much. If he had not, you would not be here today. He must have loved your mother so much to have done that. He was as much a hero as my father was."

I sighed, "We loved our parents, I just wished we had known the real them."

"You do now, you know the hero's both of our fathers and our mother was. Harry did not take your mother from your father; he took care of her while your own father could not. Their love made me, and I created my own family from their love."

God, just when I thought I could shed no more tears, they burst forth again by the bucket load.

We spent two more emotionally charged days with our extended family before going back home. Getting back to the UK was a relief to be honest. We all needed a break after our week in France.

Even Billy came around to our way of thinking after the story he was told. Heidi sent me a copy, word for word of my mother's time in Belgium. I treasure it and guard it with my life.

When probate came through, we rented a huge chateau in the area Harry was killed. It has thirty bedrooms and we filled them all.

It is a beautiful place, open fields full of wildflowers. The whole of our family, our side and Heidi's spent Christmas there. It was hard to imagine what it was like 80 years ago; it looks so peaceful now.

We came to think of Harry as our savoir, he gave his life so our mum could live on. Our own dad was an incredible man too, not many would do as he did. I cannot imagine what he thought when he first saw our mum pregnant, it must have broken his heart in two.

Our mother must have been an incredible woman in her youth to attract the love of two such men.

Heidi is nearly 80 now, she has carried our mum's family tree on in France. She has arthritis in her joints, and she is showing her age. She cannot make the trip to us, so we go to see our sister in Lille at least twice a year, all four of us.

We know she will not be among us forever, so every day is a blessing.

We have so much lost time to make up for.

The end.