All Comments on 'My Neighbor's Keeper Ch. 01'

You are too good a writer to allow your work to be dragged down by the multitude of word errors, missing words plus incorrect words. Without actually counting I estimated around 50 to 60 errors. They detract from the quality of your work.

Please learn the difference between "you are" (abbr. to you're) and your. They are completely different words.

Good luck with the next chapter. Cheers.

I appreciate your feedback. I did edited this one but it may have been too late at night when I did it. I am looking at it myself right now and seeing tons of simple stuff I missed. Also I found a few I could have swore I fixed. I am going to revise an edit ASAP.

know about which he speaks. This writer likes to capitalize "Time". It is important to him. Many of us pay too little attention to time, but Rip TornConflict, the redundant dude, values Time and capitalizes it because Time is Money and it is important. Everyone has been anxiously waiting for more Anger Management Blues, as TC tells us and hopefully it will post soon. We don't have Time to waste! Thanks for posting this for us readers. It is appreciated.

I agree completely with the previous comments. The quality of your story is very good, but the numerous errors ( missing or incorrect words ) distracts from the story. I look forward to your next submission.

You missed adding "yore" (Just kidding)

@ author: interesting start. I'm looking forward to see where you take it. 4*

but the idea was well delivered and the story very well told. Gave you a 4 for the overall story, what with the sharing idea, but didn't pay much attention to the mistakes. I just read the stories and if I am able to understand what is happening, I don't much care if the spelling is spot on or if you have one too many pronouns in the sentence. Thanks for sharing.

That’s your record .finish now or lose your readers.

Harder!

Harder!

Normally I don't like to play the Grammar Police role, but the errors you made were distracting. Maybe some better proof reading? I'm not sure I like the idea of the poor husband pimping out his wife to numerous men. Especially men he knows. That seems like a recipe for disaster. And when he includes the new, younger neighbor there's nowhere for this to go but down the tubes. On a separate note I see HDK fell on his head over the New Years Day holiday and now seems to love everyone. That alone is worth the price of admission.

But...blue car red lipstck that matched the color of the carMJmXC

I'm not usually into sharing stories but this is good reading.

I don't know if I would go for a deal like Tim was offering but I think my only reservation would be her having multiple partners along with me.

I have never been able to dip where others are dipping. Pretty much revolts me and strikes me as second hand homosexuality, rubbing something another guys cock just rubbed.

I might go for it if I was her only playmate.

Good tale!

I appreciate all the feedback. Both positive and negative. I am pretty pissed at myself for the poor mistakes in this one. I am hoping to get this one revised and updated by the end of the week.

I also have received a bunch on messages in regards to Anger Management Blues after posting this one. Just so everyone knows, I am about half way through writing the next chapter. I didn't rush to finish it since I didn't get the views or reviews that the first chapter received. I assumed people had moved on to other stories.

I actually had a neighbor like her when I was still living at home with my parents. She had a special way of paying me when I painted her house. I learned a lot. Now that I'm in my 40's it would even better to have a neighbor line her.

Just something to consider, in stories like this"

The more you make it clear the wife has hard boundaries with her side guys, such as not overnighters/nothing she didn't or doesn't do with hubby/no dates/etc. the more palatable the character and story will be. In this case the movies thing would seem to violate the self-stated concern about discretion?

Making it clear the non-spouse man is not wanting to sex a married woman has the same effect, and you did that about perfectly.

The motivation for the cuckolded guy is more complex, and I think you handled it pretty well, especially so since this is not a long story

THANKS

At the moment I have this one being revised and edited by someone other than myself. I should have it done by the end of weekend, I hope.

Oldmanswich thanks for the feedback back. It is something I thought about going into this story. Some of your concerns will be addressed in the next chapter. I had thought about that idea going into this. I have a long term plot going on along with what I think is a sort of happy ending.

A friends cousin has been fucking his neighbors wife for a couple of years now. The hubby knows but can’t perform so he lets them fuck discreetly . What happened to for better or worse and in sickness and in health. He feels wiered sometimes because he goes to parties with the family.

Always puzzled by this concept, of the wife has to have sanctioned sex, or she'll cheat to get unsanctioned sex. That's not love, that's appeasement. There are lots of medical and physical reasons why your spouse may no longer be able to have sex. Just wondering when it becomes more important to honor your marriage vows than have orgasms with other sex partners. Guess for some people its, "You're worth staying married to, but not worth staying loyal to."

Can't wait to see how you eliminate the old fart and put these two cheaters together as a couple. Just wonder how he's going to feel when he gets a medical condition one day and understands what his wife will be expecting since he can no longer do the job. Hope you include how much fun he finds in knowing that he too has become useful to his wife only cutting grass and writing checks, while better men haul her ashes.

Will there be a second chapter ?

Yes there is a second chapter in the works. I have just finished re-editing this one and resubmitting later in the week. I have a story I am finishing for Valentine's day contest and the next chapter in this and my other story. Due to my laptop dying last week I am behind schedule.

...just pushed through the shoddy editing. Enough on that front.

Good story, but I, IRL, would push to become a monogamous triangle. And... an STD test for all three of us. Then 'bareback' wouldn't be an issue.

BUT, in the story, if he wants to share her, and if she is fine with it, I wouldn't stop fucking her. I would insist on a condom though.

Living next door could cause a problem with cutting off her other partners. I mean, why go across town when she can just nip next door, get pounded, and nip back home. This could provoke her other partners to get jealous. One or more of them could get nasty in any number of ways.

Hell, let him have his trophy wife, and I can benefit from mind blowing sex and then send her home. I mean if she wants to cuck her hubby, she isn't 'keeper' material anyway. Let her use me... and use me... and use me... for sex.

What a brilliant story, loved the characters, pace and just well described sex

I never tire of this fantasy of sending the wife to visit a bone daddy. Always creative in so many ways. Of course you got busted woman just know we love a jiggling ass. Oh sport, if your neighbor asked for a drink get it up again and get it for her.

Always a gentelman first and a bare back rider second.

That's all for now, once is never enough "(!)"

I don't know what the first posted story looked like, but this was a good story to start the series. Liked the groundwork on the plot and the characters. Don't worry too much about the naysayers. You write this for you and your enjoyment. If they complain too much, ask them how much the story cost them. lol Looking forward to the experiences they will share and maybe getting closer. Thanks for your time and imagination.

corny, poor english.