My Obsessive Crush

"It's a hell of a night all right." I added.

A couple of fans barged in carrying drinks for us, and wanting to chat. A couple of girls, who I recognised were gay came and sat beside me. "We're having a party at our place afterwards if you wanna come along?" The way she stared into my eyes showed her intent.

"Sorry, I have a girlfriend." I said hoping not to sound to ungrateful.

"It's okay, there's gonna be shitloads of people there. No pressure. We just love your music."

Some guys came in, and focused on Andi, who played up to them.

I escaped to run out and look after our merch table. It was a good chance to connect with fans, sign some CD's, T- shirts. It took me a while to get used to this aspect of being in a band and making it work.

I wasn't exactly reclusive, but shy doesn't cut it either. Clearly I fell on the introverts side of the spectrum. I needed alcohol to get me past the nerves to talk to people. Tonight, with such a huge crowd. It wasn't hard. It seemed everybody wanted to buy me a drink. My hands were always full with a drink from someone.

The second set went nuts, people on stage, dancing and singing along. Poppy's great with stage trespassers. She doesn't get upset. She just dances with them, shepherding them to the side so they don't break anything.

Security had their hands full that night. On and on it went, we played harder, louder. Sang louder, our voices hoarse from trying to be heard. My legs ached from the dancing. Poppy gave me no reprieve, not that I looked for it.

Fuelled by excess alcohol, I was in party mode myself.

Andi came alive, and our feud was forgotten at least for the moment. We danced together, her arm draped over my shoulder as she played the keys one handed.

It was the most fun we'd enjoyed for a long time.

After packing down, we were enjoying some drinks, and there were plenty of people hanging around. I was drunk, way drunker than I could ever remember being. Andi and I sitting side by side sharing drinks.

Then we were dragged off to a party. A student party, packed with kids, loud music and drinks.

At some point during the night, Andi and I were dancing together. It felt so good to have the feud put aside.

We danced, we cuddled, and at some point, her lips ended up on mine. So out of it, I didn't even try to fight her off. My mind flooded with endorphins. It had been a fantasy for so long. The kiss changed from friendly to passionate.

The world around us fell away, nothing else mattered, it was just this incredible kiss. Her tongue slithering seductively around my mouth. Her hands caressing my breasts. Mine clutching frantically to her arse. Her pussy welded too my hip bone as we jumped and gyrated,

Damn, the heat, the fiery liquid furnace slid up and down my leg as she worked herself into hyperdrive.

Swept up in everything, I was no better. Squishy and alive, I locked onto her other leg, and let my pussy speak for me. I could feel her leg getting slippery with my juices.

Our kiss grew hungrier by the moment. I think I would have cum there and then in the middle of a hundred people dancing around us.

It was only Poppy and Blaire who dragged us outside that saved my embarrassment. Out in the cool night air, we refuelled with more drinks. Weed was going around which was impossible to escape. As joints passed from hand to hand. We all imbibed, taking long hits before passing.

When Andi kissed me, I felt something slide into my mouth. "It's only E baby. Just enjoy." She sang sexily in my ear.

Then it was back to the dance floor. More dancing, and the world exploded, or at least mine did.

Andi was back, her body pressed against me, her boobs crushed on mine, our pussies caressing, our mouths locked together. Furious and frenetic, the pulsating music, the loud screaming chants carried us to heights I had never been.

Drugs were something I shied away from. I hadn't experienced the release that E provided. I should have known better, and I should have fought Andi off, but, and I'm trying not to make excuses. I let it all get to me.

Back at the hotel, Andi dragged me into her room and we were naked and making love before I really knew what was going on.

My fantasies all came true, I was between her legs, eating her out with a ferociousness I couldn't sate. Her wet sloppy pussy tasting so good, my fingers brought her off powerfully, and she reciprocated, I came like a kettle lifting the lid. I bucked and jerked against her face like a mad woman. I pulled brutally on her hair as I mashed her face against my wet lips. Her fingers deep inside me.

Overwhelmed, and explosive, we repeated it again. It was my turn to fuck her like a slut. My pussy slapping wetly against hers as I jammed her knee under her chin. Our mouths glued together by gooey pussy juice. We fed ravenously on each others lips, biting and gnawing incessantly.

On and on it went. Her orgasm was cataclysmic, her body shuddering and trembling like crazy.

Afterwards, it was darkness. Complete and utter nothingness.

I woke up wondering where I was, my head pounding, my ears ringing. Slowly, the murky mists cleared and memories emerged from the darkness.

"No..." My mind screamed ashamedly. "No, please be a dream."

I rolled sideways and there was Andi, her face full of joy. Her kiss warm and sultry. "Hey lover, god. What a night aye."

Frightened, and angry with myself, I untangled myself from her blanket like embrace.

Sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands full of shame. "Oh Christ. What have I done."

Andi wriggled over, her body wrapping around me from behind. "Roz, chill babe. Take a fucking breath. It was an amazing night." Her lips kissed my naked back, her hands creeping up my body to cup my boobs. "Come back to bed, lets make love again. Please."

Reaching for my phone, I saw it was nearly eleven in the morning. "Shit, we have to get going. We're already late. We have to be in Rotorua by two."

She moved to sit beside me, her arm draped over my shoulder. "Wow, who knew aye. Last night babe, I mean fuck. What a night."

Jumping up quickly, I muttered. "I need a shower."

She grinned evilly at me. "I could join you."

"Nah, all my stuffs in the other room. I better go."

"Chill out Roz, breathe babe. It's gonna be okay."

"No it isn't, Andi. I cheated on, Kat. She's gonna fly off the handle. She'll never talk to me again."

"She doesn't have to know." Andi munbled. "This was between you and me. It's got nothing to do with her. What happens on the road, stays on the road."

"No, god no. I could never lie to her."

I rushed out and pushed my way into my room, although there were body's trying to squeeze out as well. It seems Blaire and Poppy hooked up with a couple of guys as well, and they were just leaving.

I took my chance to commandeer the shower before they had a chance to argue. Once under the blasting spraying jets, I started crying, and couldn't stop. Leaning against the cold tiles, I slid down the wall.

"What had I done? Kat was going to kill me, and I wouldn't blame her. I would probably help.

"Come on Roz, hurry up. We wanna shower as well." Poppy yelled through the locked bathroom door.

Trembling, I stood, and finished my shower. The shampoo, stinging my eyes. One moment, you have the world at your feet, and the next, you rip out the foundations and it crashes down around you.

"God you look awful." Poppy muttered as we passed in the doorway.

Blaire was making coffee, as I walked out. "Shit, what happened to you last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on, Roz, spill. Did you hook up?"

"Blaire, shut up okay. Just leave me the fuck alone." I threw open the door grabbing the van keys as I walked past. The sun warmed the morning sky, my eyes squinting blocking out the burning rays.

My feet started moving and I just kept walking.

It was only one day, but today, my world was destroyed by a stupid mistake. A ridiculous stupid mistake.

Andi... How the hell did I let that happen, what did I drink last night? My phone buzzed, "Hey cutie, how was the gig? Love U."

I wanted to type, "I LUV U 2." But my fingers froze. How could I say that? What a dumb bitch. I walked aimlessly. My phone beeped. "What do you want Poppy?"

"Where the fuck are you? We need to get going. We're already running late."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a while. Get off my back."

I disconnected the call. They were all standing by the van waiting when I got back. Andi with a very worried look on her face.

"What the fucks going on, Roz?" Blaire snapped. "Jesus girl, we're gonna be late now."

"We don't start till nine thirty. We've got time." I muttered throwing her the keys. We piled in, with Poppy driving we headed east. I found a spot in the back of the van and curled up to sleep. The tears returned and nothing I did stemmed the flow. I felt a hand on my shoulder, when I opened my eyes, Andi was sitting beside me. "What's going on, Roz?"

"You know what's going on. Last night I made the biggest mistake of my life. I destroyed everything."

"Why... Don't over react. Shit, we had a bit of fun. Kat, doesn't have to find out. I'm not gonna say anything."

"Christ, it's so easy for you isn't it. You don't even care. You might be happy lying to people but that's not the way I do things. I have to tell her."

"Roz, last night... It wasn't a mistake. We've both been hiding from it for a long time. It wasn't wrong, it was wonderful. It was the most satisfying night ever. Think about it." She said, as she grabbed my hand in hers, squeezing tight. "I was scared, there's always been tension between us."

"Yeah, because you always pick on me. Make fun of me, put me down. Shit, you've slept with a different guy every night."

She scowled darkly. "Roz, last night was a shock for me as well. I've never experienced anything like that. I loved it. You must have felt something?"

"Just because the sex was good, doesn't change anything. I cheated on my girlfriend. Don't you get it? She's gonna be devastated."

"It wasn't just sex Roz, and you know it. I've had plenty of good sex, last night was special because there's something bigger than that between us."

"You don't know that, Andi. I don't even know if you know the difference between lust and love."

"Babe, we could find out together. We've got time. We're not gonna be back in Wellington for another two weeks. We can find out if this's got legs. I'm not letting go. Not after last night."

"No Andi. Last night was a disaster. I have to talk to Kat, tell her. Hope she forgives me."

"Fuck, wake up Roz. If you tell her she might blow up. You can't have that discussion over the phone, believe me. I know. Give us time, you and me. We could be something special."

Snatching my hand from hers, I snarled. "Leave me alone, Andi. This is all your damn fault. You set out to seduce me. God knows what was in those drinks."

"As always, it's my fault. It was just E, Roz, nothing dangerous. We got drunk and let our guards down. I know it doesn't make sense, but this could be something super dope."

"Yeah, like the end of the world something." I spat out nastily. "I told you, I love Kat, she's my world. Christ, Andi. We wouldn't even be on this tour if it wasn't for her."

"Yeah, she's good, and has good contacts, but we could have made it without her."

"No we bloody couldn't. All this success is based on the back of our videos making it onto playlists. We wouldn't have them if it wasn't for, Kat."

"Okay, that may be true, but we would have got there without her. It just would've taken longer."

"We'll never know will we. We don't have to think about it because we're already enjoying the benefits."

When she tried to catch my hand again, I flung it away. "Leave me alone, Andi."

She sighed sadly, and crawled up to the front. I could hear them talking as I closed my eyes, and allowed sleep to carry me off too a time where my life was still in one piece.

"Hey, wake up sleepy head." Blaire said softly. "We're in Tokoroa, just stopping for some food."

Yeah, food would be nice. I followed her silently outside. Andi gave me a warm smile, Poppy gave me a hug. "it'll be okay babes. Andi, told us what happened. Come on, some lunch and coffee might make you feel a bit better."

"Yeah, maybe." I felt my phone buzzing in my jeans pocket. I knew it was gonna be Kat. I couldn't face her, not yet.

Poppy, I'm not sure if she was trying to lighten the moment said with a teasing giggle. "So, you and Andi, aye... Come on spill, what was it like?"

With tears streaming down my face, I grumbled. "Fucking awful. I cheated on Kat, don't you understand. I fucked up."

"Wow, relax, Andi, won't say anything. Your secret will be safe with us."

"No it won't, I have to tell her. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

"You'll wreck everything if you do, Roz. Wouldn't it be better to take it to the grave?"

"Nah, I'm hopeless at lying." Poppy kissed me and walked off to talk to the girls.

They all cuddled up as we walked into the bakery to fill up on some cheese rolls, sausage rolls and sandwiches. I found a couple of delicious pinwheels, and a chicken avocado sandwich. A creamy cappuccino washed it all down.

As we ate, the conversation turned to the gig the previous night. It had been one of our biggest to date. Certainly our best, and apparently there was lots of video footage uploaded onto out social media sites. Lots of happy fans apparently.

"We've gotta make every gig as good as that." Andi stated firmly. "All that stuff last night, the dancing, the mic sharing, the joy. We gotta bring that every single time. Make it our thing."

"I'm in." Poppy said laughingly. "It was awesome, I have never felt anything like that before."

"Me neither." Andi replied with a furtive glance at me. Her smirk gave away her hidden entendre.

"You evil bitch." Blaire said with a teasing laugh.

"What... I was talking about the gig." Andi sniggered.

"Oh yeah, of course you were." Poppy rebuked playfully. Although, I watched as she checked my face for reaction. On seeing my glower, she at least had the decency to blush and look away.

After a potty break, it was back to the van, and the last leg of our trip to Rotorua. I climbed in the back again, and curled up searching for some extra sleep.

I couldn't hide from Kat forever, at some point I had to face up to it. Lying in the back, listening to the girls laughing, chatting naturally, gave me a warm glow, and it made me question the one thing that stood out. The previous night... My memories were clear, lurid and shockingly vivid. The sex was... Shit, the sex was amazing. So powerful and evocative. All those suppressed emotions and desires had exploded and I couldn't hide from it. I enjoyed it, more than that, it was giving me that warm squishy feeling even as I sat in the back of the van. I could feel the slippery lubricious warmth of arousal. Shit...

The pub in Rotorua was nice, a proper stage, a sound system and even a sound guy, who was happy to act as our roadie and carry in the heavy stuff.

We finished the prep quickly, leaving plenty of time for a decent sound check. The room was pretty decent, room for maybe three hundred people at a pinch.

Andi god she was like a different person. Happy and smiling. She was the girl I remembered and developed that overwhelming crush on, and I have to say, I was feeling some of that again. She had the ability to undermine my self confidence, and incapacitate me with one of her million dollar smiles.

A simple flutter of her eyes and my resolution shattered.

Sound check finished, we were shown up to our rooms. "Do you wanna share with me?" Andi asked expectantly.

"Nah, I'll share with Poppy."

Her smile disappeared, and she frowned in frustration. "It would give us a chance to talk?" She replied.

"Nah, I'm good. All I wanna do is have a shower, and get a sleep before the gig."

"Dinner's at seven, in the dining room." The guy who showed us the rooms said as I pushed past him. "Thanks dude. Good to know."

The shower was good, and with my jammies on, I climbed into bed.

"Roz, would it be such a bad thing to share with Andi?" Poppy said quietly. "There's no hiding from what happened, and shit girl. I gotta say. I like her like this. Couldn't you take one for the team?"

"What, piss off. Why don't you take one..."

"She doesn't like me, she likes you. She always has, shit we could all see it."

"I don't care, I moved on and I've got a partner, who I just fucking cheated on. Jesus Poppy, help me out here."

"Don't tell her Roz, no good will come of it. If you're not interested in Andi, whatever you do, take that secret to the grave bitch. Don't fuck it up. Honestly, what Kat, doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Nah, I gotta tell her. At some point she'll find out. If I tried to keep it a secret, It'd be so much worse when it eventually came out. Plus, I don't trust, Andi. She'd just as likely tell Kat, to fuck me over."

"Yeah, that's true. In which case, don't piss about. Tell her now, as soon as you can."

She walked out, mostly I think to give me some space.

She was right, now was the time.

"Hey, Kat. How are you?" I said tremulously, god, why couldn't I stop shaking.

"Oh thank god, I was worried something had happened." She gushed. "Is everything okay?

"Kat..."

"Oh oh, this doesn't sound good. What happened?"

"I fucked up... big time. I'm sorry." I couldn't hold back the tears, they erupted in a torrent of sniffling sobs. "I'm so sorry."

"Andi?"

"Yeah, I got hammered, somebody slipped me some E, there was weed and so much booze."

"You slept with her?"

"It didn't mean anything. It just happened."

"Don't lie Roz, that just makes it worse. You've had a crush on her forever. Don't bullshit me."

"I..."

"Where are you now?"

"In my room."

"Sharing with Andi, are yah?"

"No! I'm sharing with Poppy."

"And you expect me to believe that huh?"

"It's the truth."

"I don't know how I'm expected to believe anything you say right now."

"Ask Poppy. She'll tell yah."

"She'll tell me what you want her to tell me. Don't be fucking infantile. I thought we had something wonderful, Roz. You said you loved me."

"I do, god, so much. It was a stupid mistake. I don't know why or how it happened."

"You know bloody well why. Because you've always had a thing for her. That's why."

The phone went silent for a long drawn out pause, everything going quiet. I could hear her breathing, some sniffles. "Goodbye Roz, don't call me again."

Beep, beep, beep... The phone died in my hands, the tears flowed ridiculously. It was what I expected, Forgiveness, if it did come, wouldn't be easy. I pulled the blankets up over me, and tried to sleep. Eventually, it did come, but it was uncomfortable.

The phone buzzing again woke me. "Roz, we're in the dining room waiting. Hurry up." Poppy barked.

"Nah, start without me. I'll see you later."

"Babe, don't be like this. She's not gonna break up with yah for one little mistake."

"You're wrong Poppy, she already has."

"Then come on out and talk to us. No sense moping by your self. Shit babe, we got a gig in a couple of hours."

I disconnected, and pulled the blankets back up over me. At least the door was locked, and I had the key.

"Christ, you look like shit." Blaire gasped as I turned up by the side of the stage.

"At least you coulda put some makeup on. Tried to look presentable. It's a bloody huge crowd."

"Fuck it."

"Don't blow this for us Roz." Andi groaned accusingly. "We have to make this count babe, okay. Lets just get up there and have some fun. Like we did last night."

Blaire dived into her handbag. "Lets go into the green room, I'll give you a touch up."