My Only Talent Ch. 49

Lara observed us all and then whispered in my ear. "I think Carmencita has a crush on you, Robbie! I know Alexander has a crush on me!"

I was not sure how to react to that and said nothing. She continued, "I actually had a recent discussion with Suzanne about it, Robbie."

That brought me up short. "She told me I should only be with you and never any other men. I am taking it under advisement, at least until our youngest begins to go on sleepovers. But women, like our lovely Rachel for example, may be another matter. But you should have a frank talk with Nora about her plans, don't you think?"

I will never understand women.

............

Anna Azier had been working for Ambassador Pliskin for three years. It was her dream job. Fresh out of grad school, she had slogged through early assignments in cyber security and almost purely clerical data collection slots, but now she was doing real analysis. A solo project like this meant that Pliskin trusted her, and she would get lots of opportunity to interact with him. It was both exciting and frightening. She threw herself into the job. Can't disappoint the Ambassador!

This Robbie Roberts guy was a curiosity. His background seemed normal enough, but his metadata cloud did not. Once he arrived at ESU the connection map had exploded all over the world. That was suspicious in and of itself. She didn't have enough run time privileges to run full bots on all these people! Time for a Kevin Bacon strategy. Limit the scan to three degrees of separation and see what turns up. Holy Crap! Three locked out entities? She could tell from the agency hashing codes assigned that one of them must be Pliskin. She liked puzzles, and this was a fascinating one. Never give up!

............

The wedding was a civil ceremony in a currently unused courtroom at the DC courts building, performed by the last judge in the complex sequence of appeals, forbearances, and refusals to review a matter that had been so carefully pre-planned to set precedents and box in all potential challenges. Attendance was quite limited, and a larger public ceremony might take place later in Dallas, or Austin, or even London, after all the extended family members had been properly prepared for the shock. But this would take care of the legalities and cement the relationship in the eyes of the law. Alexander Walton was the usher, best man, and ring bearer (with three rings), and his wife Carmencita functioned as bridesmaid, witness, and toastmaster. There were no other spectators, at least as far as the wedding party knew.

But from the darkened back row of the courtroom, two people looked on with unreadable expressions, one on the right-hand side, and one on the left. They sought to be unnoticed by the groom and both brides, but something drove them both to be here to see this ceremony.

The one of the right side of the courtroom remembered what was, and mused about what might have been, and what now would never be. She turned left toward the aisle to slip out unseen.

The one of the left side of the courtroom wanted to see the plan come to fruition, and hoped it marked the close of a potentially embarrassing career mistake. He also thought wistfully about what had been and would likely never be again. He turned to his right to exit ahead of anyone else.

At that moment, their eyes met, and both froze in place. Judge Wally was astounded, because he not only recognized Suzanne Pliskin in her much more conventional attire here in the courtroom, but now he knew who she was, although not why she was here. He was dumbfounded and looked it. Suzanne was always quick witted, and her shock lasted only a half second. Then she winked at him and made her way out into the hallway.

Both were surprised at how strongly they reacted to each other.

As soon as the official ceremony was over, Robbie Roberts was in shock, like many grooms, and felt numb and off balance. Then he sensed a strong contentment Suzie, steady and pure. It was coming from Nora's direction, but not from Nora. The womb rat was quite pleased with the marriage.

............

I had read all the material and been to all the Lamaze classes. I understood basic human reproductive physiology. I knew several venerable project planning techniques and was relatively current on decision tree modeling. But it all went out the window when Nora's water broke.

I heard the womb rat make a new and unique Suzie noise like a big flock of birds taking off, and then Nora said, "Uh oh!" My effective IQ instantly dropped by half. Luckily, Lara was up for the weekend and she took over. She grabbed the go bags and marched us down to her car, texting Asa Weltschmerz and the OB on the way. Lara drove. All I could do was breathe and hold Nora's hand. As we drove, I could smell freshly mowed glass and see and hear moths buzzing under the streetlights. When we pulled up at the hospital, Asa was already waiting in the drive though. Lara said, "I'll park and then come in!" I heard the car door close and suddenly we were under the bright lights of the hospital hallway. Asa hustled Nora into a wheelchair and me into a waiting room. I sat in a trance until Lara sat down next to me.

Asa Weltschmerz had MD and PhD degrees and he had been working with Lara and brushing up on the law a bit too. He approached the night admissions supervisor with a package of documents the likes of which she had never seen before. Medical powers of attorney, HIPPAA notices, fully formed medical directives, and an unusual set of instructions necessitated by the new mother's religious faith. To wit, there were TWO spouses, one male and one female in addition to mom, both were to be present and participate in all medical decisions, and there was to be an absolute ban on potentially ionizing radiation for all members of the family. He even supplied a set of pre-printed gummed labels for her charts which said "NO XRAYS NO MRI NO NMR NO PET" complete with a fine printed promise of aggressive malpractice litigation if the directives were not followed. Ultrasound of the uterus or abdomen was okay, but nothing else was. The supervisor was still planning how to talk to her boss who arrived later this morning when Dr. Weltschmerz bounded off to the waiting room.

Asa gave me a drive by update. "She's already well dilated. It won't be long now!" then disappeared. Lara held my hand. Time slowed down. Was something wrong? I can't take it! How far away was I from Nora? Why was it taking so long?

............

ESU football practices were going well for Khalan King. He was in good shape when he first enrolled, and he was meeting every new goal the strength and conditioning coach devised for him. He was amazingly relaxed and focused. All the coaches noticed it. He never showed up bleary-eyed or with a morning hangover, and he didn't party all night on weeknights like some guys did. The tutors all said he was fine in his classes, but he seemed to disappear on weekends, and nobody knew exactly where he went. But the coaches wished more guys would do it, whatever it was.

He was quick and fast, had good vision, and amazing hip fluidity. He learned the defensive schemes readily and began asking insightful 'what-if' questions almost immediately. He anticipated the offensive schemes and had good instincts, and he hit harder than his size should allow. The DB coach asked him if his dad was a coach, and he said no, he was a mechanic, but he played some ball. It looked like Khalan was going to play some ball, too.

Roger knew he was probably not going the Olympics, but he had a real shot at making the nationals next year. That was good enough to make sure he kept his scholarship and got his degree. But his favorite athletic event took place on weekends at his cousin's house at Lakeway.

Chrissy found a great two-bedroom apartment up on Speedway, and Joyce was on board to share it for a year. They had reached an amazing arrangement with Roger and Khalan and nobody wanted to change a thing for a while.

............

I had almost fallen asleep in the incredibly uncomfortable hospital waiting room chair when the pain ripped through my guts. It felt like one of those kitchen mixers with the counter-rotating and interleaving stainless steel eggbeater blades had been connected to three phase 440V AC and was routing a slot in my guts like a woodworking tool. It went on for what seemed like an hour but was probably only 30 seconds. Then I felt incredibly full and bloated, and then a sense of global euphoria. But then, the pain shot through me again.

I guess my connection with Nora didn't just allow me to share her orgasms vicariously. I had heard of sympathetic labor pains, but this was ridiculous. The cycle repeated, with the latency between events dropping steadily. I realized two things. First, all those trite sayings from the Lamaze classes about how to "breathe through the pain" were inadequate bullshit. Second, Nora was never going to be able to say to me, like my mother used to, "You have no idea went I went through!"

The pains didn't get more intense until they were very close together, and then they merged into one continuous major hurt. I forced myself to breath, and that hurt too. Then there was a sense of relief and then a blast of euphoria like I had never imagined. Suddenly, I heard music. My only association with music was as a listener. I had no talent for writing it or playing it. But I did remember it once I heard it, and I usually remembered the lyrics and the emotions the song evoked. A melodic rock tune suddenly pounded through my head: "I am free, and freedom tastes of reality!" It was from one of Ralph's old vinyl LPs, one he called 'the original rock opera'.

A symphony of Suzie signals followed that one line, building to a crescendo like that Dolby DTS Sound intro they used to play before movies when I was little. Warren Randolph Roberts had arrived, and he was sending Suzie like nobody's business. He was pissed when they spanked him, but then happy as he could be when they placed him in Nora's arms. He didn't want to be called the womb rat anymore. He wanted to be called Randy. I suspected it would prove an apt nickname.

Asa Weltschmerz and Lara were shaking me awake. "I can't believe you went to sleep at a time like this! We barely got her into the room before she delivered. This kid wants to do everything fast, I guess. A bouncing baby boy, a little early and a little small, but eight on the Apgar, and what a set of lungs!" I already knew that.

They rushed me into the room. Nora looked disheveled, but her face was shining with a glow I had not seen before. Little Randy was fulfilling his mammalian destiny with reckless abandon. All was right with the world.

Then I heard the OB sending Suzie for Lara. She's mine, you pervert motherfucker!

The nurse stepped in with some paperwork for me. "Congratulations, Daddy!" What the heck? The nurse was sending some Suzie for me.

Suddenly signals flooded in from the adjacent rooms and all around. I could not only hear Suzie signals again, but I was also hypersensitive to them. I would have to learn a way to tune some of this out. This could be a problem. Whatever else, I knew things has just changed forever.