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Click here"What do you think," she said nervously, "you think it would work?"
"I see one flaw in the plan. This boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I think it would work better if you were my fiance, don't you?"
"Yes it would," she said plopping down onto his lap. "You know Bobber I don't know it this is going to last forever or not. One of us, maybe both of us might find someone else. If that happened it wouldn't be as sad as when other couples split. Because we would still love each other right?"
"I can't think of anything that would happen that would make me stop loving you. And yeah, if you found someone I wouldn't be giving you up totally. I would only be giving up the physical part of our relationship."
She jumped off his lap and said, "Well let's get packed up and back to town. I need to polish someone's resume to make sure they get the job of my dreams, oops, I mean his dreams."
*
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- COMMENTS
vanyeabout 1 year agoI think you kind of need to rethink the ages on this. If Dad died when he was 39, and it's been 3 years, and Robert is 22, that means dad was 20 when his son was born. It's possible, but way too many of these stories depend on stupid ages.
JimDiamondabout 1 year agoTory went along great and then just fizzeled out... The siblings came to no resolution, the mother thing ended with out anything from the build up. The goofy neigbor hunting camp came to nothing and largely the deer thing left something to be desired. You should rename it Part one and finish a great start sometime.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoReally wonderful story - we must know more about their relationship. Please - MORE!
ScottishTexanalmost 2 years agoLet me begin by clearly stating that this story is the proverbial "diamond in the rough". I gave you a 4 even though it was so difficult to read that it really deserves only a 2.
The concept and plot were excellent. You had me roped in after the first five or six paragraphs. But then it just went off of the rails. The phrasing was awkward in places. The sequencing and organization left a lot to be desired. It just flow correctly and was hard to read without the urge to skip over some parts.
The good things that you have going for you are (1) little sister is crushing heavily on her big brother; (2) it's a love story for the most part in spite of Robert being less invested in expanding their relationship beyond siblings; (3) Chelsea loves to hunt!!! (4) the realism brought by some of the details like Bobber/Robert and how the nickname evolved, naming the deer stands, and the redneck neighbors.
If you focused less on the anal and corrected the phrasing so that the story flows better, you'd have a brilliant gem 💎 💎 💎 💎 💎.
OldUncleAlabout 3 years agoSuperb! This is I would hope all such relationships go. They are in it for now, being careful not to offend relatives. And they have already thought out the logical progression of it. All the way to still loving and caring about each other once the physical side ends.
They are having their fun now, and sure they will eventually drift apart sexually, but will always love each other.
A truly upbeat story! Thanks!
Al
Anonymousover 3 years agoThis story was really interesting and so damn good. I’d love to see it continue. Though parts were a bit rushed but it definitely has so much potential for more, keep up the great work
