All Comments on 'My Sister's a Vampire!'

Please tell me there's a chapter 2

is there going to be a sequel?

I like me a good vamp/werewolf story. If you can continue it or start a new one, it would be awesome.

Wicked good fun. Loved it. Thank you.

interesting story... I noticed that she was not breathing - being a vampire - but a few times she actually was breathing, that put me off a bit

5 stars. But I'm getting totally confused and turned around in this world of Lisa, Arcana, Ellie, and the others. 🤔 I'm having a real problem trying to keep it all straight in my head. 😆 🤣 😂 5/5

@steeleye11

I did also explain why that was, a couple times. Breathing was a habit.

An awesome story, really hope you'll consider writing another chapter;

Second half of the story was a bit all over the place, especially unclear what happened after they went to the restaurant until the end of the story. Also, the ice water mouth made me think of nothing but ice water pussy, very gross.

I got to page 6 and I started getting a little worried. Already the end? That can't be right, we're only getting started.

So for my own peace of mind please tell me that you have another dozen... oh let's be generous hundred chapters or so planned in this storyline and the adventures of Scott and Ellie.

It feels like we've only begun to scratch the surface here, and already this has to be one of the best stories I've read here in a long while; and I have probably read an entirely too unhealthy amount of stories on this site.

Seriously though, you have a knack for writing conversations. I love the banter between Scott and Ellie, and the whole story just flowed very well for me.

You left a lot of tantalising tidbits and questions unanswered, but for a first part in a longer series, they did exactly what they were supposed to do, they added a little mystery and made us want more... much more in my case.

So, while I impatiently wait for the next installment in this story, (I'm not even going to entertain the thought that you could be so cruel as to leave this a standalone), I will have to go back and read some of your other work again.

I love these stories in this particular world. They are cleaver, sexy and I appreciate the off handed humor in them. Please keep them coming.

Absolutely love this story can't wait to see where it goes from here really hope that you continue writing it

Great story. She did tell him a few times that she was a monster. It's too bad he didn't listen and ended up her thrall. Too kind for his own good.

Her talking about wanting others in their bed...?

Makes it seem that all of the rest was just deception on her part... What happened to only him for her and her for him...? And are we sure he isn't just her thrall after all...?

@Ambivalence

Read the first letter of each paragraph, after where Ellie says "Then you will know, my love. Then you will know." Up to the break.

Okay, so after rereading this to reevaluate it, I can see why I was confused by the ending. 😐 I was NOT expecting Ellie to enthrall Scott because I truly believed her protestations against the suggestion by Vlad that she do it. So 2 things played a huge part in making me miss it. First off, this was a brother/sister romance in my mind. "My Sister's A Witch!" was about Lils love for Riker, so I went into this with the same frame of mind. It wasn’t until your private email to me that I woke up to it.

Second, if Scott has become her thrall from the moment that Ellie casts her spell, then he should have exhibited the traits of an automaton earlier in the story. It's not until the closing that he seems to have lost his choice of freewill. He doesn't really feel like he is enthralled to the reader until you get to the following:

-

Ellie's face split into a stupid grin, and she bit her lip, "That's it. Tell me. Tell me I'm perfect."

"God, El." Scott moaned, "You're fucking perfect. So perfect. Shit. I love you."

"No one else. Only me." Ellie stared into his eyes.

He nodded, struggling to speak through the sensation of her clutching at him, "Only you. There's... Oh god. Only you. Never... Anyone else."

Her lips moved slowly, and it felt almost like an echo, "You're mine."

"I'm... Yours."

--------

The first time I read this I thought that he was just agreeing with her because of true love. I didn't recognize it for what it actually was because of the third person narrative. You shared Scott's inner thoughts in third person, but you didn't do Ellie equally, so a lot of people are going to believe that her apologies to Scott are genuine and not pick up on the fact that Ellie is a true Evil Vampire. She comes off as misunderstood instead of Evil. I hope that this helps.

Damn I guess Scott got played.

I liked the story until the ending.

Now I'm all down for Lily (or Fan?) bringing the pain on Ellie. :D

Note to Shakna: I hope you start feeling better soon and keep writing! I keep coming back for the stories. I'm not even here for the sexy bits anymore!

Stupid..... Six pages was not a good buildup for that ending......wasted time

Hmm.

I generally like your work but am betwixt and between on this on. She enslaved him but did not turn him. Does she really love him?

I have my doubts.

Better that she turns him fully, she never dies, he must die. So, better to turn him and they can have forever together.

She was evil.l like this story, but l equally don’t like it.

So, 3/5. A good effort, but l think l hated the end too much.

It just did not seem right.

But I couldn't finish it.

I love sibcest, and the theme was good.

But she was waaay too abrasive, and he's such a beta. I've noticed that with lots of your stories. Especially when you're writing from a female POV. If there's a way to make a character less interesting, it's to make them stupidly agro like this chick. Sorry, just not likeable.

I haven't read the other stories set in the same universe, but I liked the story overall.

Though that ending doesn't really sit right with me, not cause it was out of nowhere, I just hoped there was more to it than she's manipulating him and sees him as nothing more than her "main thrall."

Really hope there's a part 2. I feel like there's room for it, considering it was established Scott has resistance to some of her vampire abilities. Maybe he manages to fight off the hypnosis, confronts her about it, and they manage to salvage a relationship where they're closer to partners.

It's been a while since I've enjoyed a story so much! Looking forward to meeting Agnetti in part-2... :p

Liked it up until Scott became enthralled. Don't know what that all means because I am missing as much information as Scott. All I know is that it seemed like some nice romance between them after she died just for him to become a meat bag to her. Is he also still mortal? Will he eventual die while she "lives" on? Did she actually love him or was that just something she needed to do to make him go under her spell?

A fab well written story, a good storyline not just about sex

Original, great writing style. Quirky but held all the way through and the storyline waa interesring

You have an interesting story going on is there a part two?

Okay, yeah, no.  There are people in my life for whom I would forgive the unforgiveable, so I can maybe sorta buy that Scott would be willing to forgive Ellie for repeatedly physically and sexually assaulting him.  What I can't buy is that he would do so without also insisting on a paradigm shift in their relationship.  As soon as she let slip the importance of eye contact, the first thing he needed to do was grab a pair of mirrored sunglasses, put them on, and never take them off ever again.  More to the point, he needed to call Ginger and find out how one becomes a warlock as soon as he learned of her vampirism.  If he cannot stop her from doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants, to both his body and his mind, *and* he cannot trust her not to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, to both his body and his mind (which he obviously can't do because she's been doing it all along), their relationship cannot be in any sense consensual.  Which means this story needs a noncon tag.

Also, I must confess that I don't really understand Ellie's characterisation.  She talks a big game about detesting slavery and hating Vlad for believing that mortals are cattle, but she is apparently perfectly content to turn the brother whom she supposedly loves into both, removing his capacity for consent and choice.  This willingness becomes that much more alarming when one considers that she apparently officiates weddings between deceased individuals, and finds such weddings 'cute'.  I could better understand her reluctance to turn Scott if that would make a relationship between them impossible, consensual or otherwise, but plainly this is not the case.  I must conclude that she prefers the idea of a living slave (thrall is just another word for slave, so let's dispense with the euphemisms) to the idea of an equal, undead partner.

From this I would be content to understand her to be a great hypocrite, but this raises the question: if she's just a hypocrite, why didn't she do this two years ago?  Perhaps she is more than just a hypocrite; perhaps she is also weak-willed, genuinely valuing these principles, but ultimately valuing them less than her own desire to enslave her brother.  But this doesn't really help us answer the question; why, after two years of putting up with Scott's ignorance, to say nothing of the drudgery of attempting to maintain the appearance of a mundane life and occupation, does a near-miss at murdering him suddenly overcome her principles?  If anything, I would expect that to reinforce her principles and cause her to place a more careful guard over her desires.  It seems more convincing to suppose that she gave lip service to those principles to placate Scott before she had gotten him fully lobotomised, but actually never gave a damn about them or him.  Which leaves us again asking, why wait two years? I have been unable to come up with a satisfying answer to this question.  If you have one, I would, of course, love to hear it, but for the moment I must conclude that it is an inconsistency of characterisation.

(And while we're on the subject of inconsistencies in characterisation, how does a girl who was entirely chaste throughout her teenage years and the accompanying tidal wave of hormones because she was too in love with one particular person and therefore didn't want to sleep with anyone else suddenly decide to open her bed to all and sundry after sleeping with the aforementioned particular person—whom she still claims to love above all others—once?  This I cannot understand, and I'm not sure that I even want to.  Also, her comments about potentially enthralling a werewolf are particularly disgusting given her earlier apparent indignation at the history of vampires enslaving werewolves in this world of yours, feeding back into the hypocrisy question.)

You are a damned talented writer, friend, and your prose and world-building are excellent as ever, but it usually helps a romance story if both protagonists are likeable.  Ellie...isn't.  More importantly, please, please warn us if your story is going to involve noncon.  A vague warning about horror themes is not specific enough.

Looking forward to your next.

@anon - All of your apparent slips in the story can be summarised in four words: Ellie is the villain. She's not a protagonist.

Her presentation being different from her actions is the whole point. She has been slowly working Scott towards the point where she could enthrall him. It took her time. Just like you'll find it took Dracula time to enthrall Mina Harker in the original tale.

Well I hope she gets her comeuppance, eventually. Much prefer My Sister's a Zombie, if I'm honest. My Sister's A Witch too, but a little less-so because Lily is a little too powerful for that power imbalance to not squick me out a little. I still like it, but there's things I don't absolutely love about it. This, OTOH...I don't like a whole lot. Mind control was never my favorite genre, barring certain authors who do it differently, and correct the squick, and this is basically that, as you pointed out. Ellie is the bad guy, the abuser. She carefully manipulated her brother until she could mindrape him into being her (effectively) mindless slave. Not so much tragic, taboo romance as tragic, taboo horror. But it's well done, as usual. I really do hope Ellie is made to face the horror of what she's done to the man who loved her completely and utterly.

Oh, and I take your point abt original Dracula, I just wasn't expecting that plotline from this series. Again, well executed. I can appreciate it without adoring it/while also preferring happier plotlines and endings. I'm super into this new universe though. Don't know if you have more planned, or it's just a collection of tales;set in the same universe, but I'm intrigued. And I hope for more.

@anubelore - There's another in the works, at least. "My Brother's a Changeling!"

I just have a ton of series all being written at the same time, so it stacks up.

Hawt, Kawaii, Romantique, und Zexxi!

11/10 Banana Bags!!!!!

loved it until the ending...if she loved him so much she wouldn't have made him into a thrall. and what's with the whole %number/letter% thing? It became a distraction wondering what it was about and then being left without knowing was a downer. I truly love your writing but this one only gets a 4 because of the thrall issue and a minus 1/2 point for the % issue too bad I can't give you a 3.5..

The %number% thing, anon, is a puzzle. It's a fairly easy and simple one to solve, and one you'll find in a lot of my works. Take all of those lines, put them side-by-side, and strip the %. From there, you should be able to work it out.

This story needs more.....lots more. I want to find out about the future of the relationship with others

Except that they are related, this is a beautiful love story, well told. It’s not without its humor. It had me at about the sixth line into it when Scott is opening the door for Ellie and she asks for permission to enter. I knew then it was to be a vampire story. The story followed standard vampire convention pretty not going off the rails. Fun story with lots of love in it.

I enjoyed the dynamic between the siblings. I feel that Vlad could become an issue in the future. I would love to see a 'part two' of this!!

Wait did she roll his mind at the end?

Also, a couple of notes: Mina didn't die in Stoker's book. Dracula only got halfway in turning her, so unless he came back later and finished the job after Jonathan and company staked him, there shouldn't be any way for her to have become a vampire. It would have made more sense if Lucy was the one to "survive" as she was actually turned in the book. And she has plenty of reasons to hate the count, as the first thing she did was eat some babies in her initial bloodlust before van Helsing had her staked and decapitated.

Also, I found the %-thing to be a bit distracting.

Way better than my sister is a ghost only major issue I have with story is that you were making out like she couldn't control the thrist but she would be able too after the first few months another thing you stated she wasn't on the counsel radar but then stated she was a queen and part of the counsel that really made no sense but other then it was a decent story

To the person that said it followed vampire convention you need to do more research on vampire movies cause it didn't follow the normal vampire lore in no way shape form or fashion but that is what made it interesting while yes a vampire can put in a thrall they can't read your mind nor can they talk to animals not even a hybrid can that is just a few things that are different reread the story then research and you will see

See reading this as an actual witch, passion and love making is far to complex for me to explain in this series. I cant ever explain myself that sex never actually has to be physical for the pure love and energy to be there. For someone curious that sex as far as magic is ever concerned is on a whole different level. So coming back to this series ever so often just is beyond amazing. (and yes magic/energy sex is a thing and its very intense)

I find myself wondering how many lies she told. Was he even her first? How many thrills and slaves does she have?

After a while I stopped caring about Scott being a pawn in his psycho sisters games. Vampire or not, she was a spoiled brat only interested in herself, and would use anyone to get what she wanted. She lied to him for who knows how long. Kept him in the dark. When he came close to any insight, she jumbled his mind. Scot was no better. Oh my poor dead sister, are you eating enough people? Eat me. Blah. Loser.

I stopped reading after he learned that vampires etc are real, and wanted a few hours to process, but the child bitch stomped off to her room to sulk. I couldn't take anymore. Dreary.

As someone else stated how many tharls does she have I really do wonder that myself cause what really gets me is she says she loves him and would never put him under a thral but yet she did in the end just making him a slave another issue that I forgot to mention in my last comment is not even strongest of vampires can put someone under a thral and hold it permanently as basically was done in this story those I'm just curious about where you came up with that don't change the fact it was a interesting take

If the bitch didn’t mention a threesome I would’ve been happy