My Solemn Oath Pt. 02

"Looks like you did well for yourself."

I turned and saw Everett Bane approaching. He carried one of my fuller crates with ease. I admired his servant's heart. Often he would stop by my stall after the market closed at high noon and help me load my packages. He was a kind young man, probably raised by a strong woman with a stick. Most young men his age were chasing tail. They'd rather spend their days at the Dirty Fox, not helping old women in the market.

"Yes, well, the soaps are quite popular with the ladies." I smiled at him, patting his elbow as he walked past me. I returned to heft another crate. Most of the remaining crates that needed loaded were heavy enough that if I were at home, Harvard would have loaded them.

"I saw a new face today. She was at your stall. Annalyse? I didn't catch the family name, but perhaps it is the same as Isabel." He dusted his hands and followed me, standing next to the crates. We both stared at the few left and rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'll get these loaded; you focus on the tables and table coverings."

"Thank you kindly, Everett. Your generosity and humility will serve you well." I moved to a table where I drew the white cotton covering off of it and folded it while I spoke. "I only just met her today. Isabel introduced her to me. She is quite fair indeed." I remembered the young beauty, strawberry hair just like Evelyn. It was difficult not to feel the memories drudged up from the pit of my soul where I buried them. My eyes turned toward the center of the square where the statue of Lady Evelyn overlooked all who entered to trade.

I had to tear my eyes away to continue the work. When I turned back, Everett had already loaded two more crates. The wagon looked full, but with most of the crates empty, it would be a lighter and thus quicker trip home. He glanced at the statue too, then turned to me.

"Well, I would like to get to know her more. She was pleasant on the eyes and she seemed kind. We don't get many new faces around town." He picked up another carte and I moved on to another table covering.

"You deserve a good, kind woman. Your heart is pure." I spoke the words and I meant them, but my heart was heavy with grief. The girl was quite beautiful and I found myself sparking with her the way I had Evelyn--my kitty. Not a day had gone by that I didn't miss her, though the ache was less now. In a world where women like me were hunted and weeded out--a plague on society--it was even more difficult to find love.

"That's it." Everett pushed the last crate on the wagon and smiled. "Want help with the tables?"

"I've got them. Thank you." I offered him a copper from the money purse hanging on my belt but he pushed it away.

"You always do that, but your money is no good here. I'll tell you what I do want though." He raised his eyebrows and it piqued my curiosity. "I would like to meet that girl again, so if you see her, you tell her where to find me?"

I nodded and put my copper away. "Of course I will. Now I need to finish packing up and head home. It's a bit of a journey for an old bird like me." I winked at him and drew the last table covering off, folding it as he walked away.

My eyes fixed on the statue of Evelyn again. She was the love of my life and despite knowing we could never actually be together we were still quite happy. We hid our love from everyone, even her husband, but it mattered not. Fate had its way of seeing that we parted.

I stacked the folded linens on the wagon then set to work on the tables. They were awkward to load but not heavy, and when all was packed up, I did one last sweep of the area before heading to the wagon. The horse was already hitched thanks to Joseph Tuttle, the man who ran the stall next to mine. I paid him three coppers to accomplish it for me which he always returned in the form of produce anyway.

This town hated Winter--the woman I was when I wasn't here. But they loved Kari. Kari was the kind old woman who sold soaps, who had nothing to do with the death of the queen, who hadn't been banished from the city.

"So long, Kari," Temperance Eckers called to me, waving. She was quite the woman, downright lascivious and not afraid to flaunt it. I watched her disappear into the door of the Dirty Fox and clicked my tongue. Shameful practice--selling a human body for sexual pleasure all for a few coppers, but Temperance didn't mind what other women said about her because the men loved her.

I climbed aboard my wagon and took up the reins, shaking my head at the way things worked in this society. Women were traded like fresh meat, belittled, forced to hide away. I was only accepted to the market without a male escort because I had told them I was widowed. They needn't know it was my Evelyn who had left me grieving so.

With a flick of my wrists, the reins tapping on old Jarek's back, and we were off. The wooden wheels of the wagon bobbled over the uneven cobblestones. Jarek's hooves clapped the ground with each step. The city was still busy, the market only just closing, but I hadn't planned to stay today. There were weeks when I would take lunch and do a bit of shopping, but today I just wanted to get home. The farther I got from the memories the better.

We left the city gates and turned to the high road that led through Cerenia and up the side of the mountain. It was a warm day, warm enough I'd have to stop near the stream to let Jarek cool down and drink to unburden him from the long trek. It was only slightly out of the way, but in Sturgeon Moon it was necessary.

As we traveled I found myself nodding off, waking at a bump in the road to dreams of her. Just seeing William Ameross today at the announcement that his father ailed had done a number on me. Especially so close to the day I remember losing her.

I pushed the hair out of my face and snapped the reins, urging Jarek to move a bit faster. He walked on happily, unaware of anything else in life but his job to transport me and my goods home. When we arrived at the bend in the road, I turned him eastward toward the stream instead of westward toward home. It was just a few moments before I halted him near the stream. I hopped off the wagon, leading him to the water where he could drink, then knelt next to him, cupping water in my hand and drinking.

My face was soiled, dust from the road clinging to my sweat. I looked haggard, worn out. Grief pulled the bags beneath my eyes, causing dark circles and fatigue lines. Harvard would question me for sure. He knew what this day meant to me, how my soul had been destroyed when I lost her. He'd been there through it all. Still, I didn't want him to worry, so I went to the wagon and found a bar of soap, one to help with this situation, and I returned to the stream where Jarek was now snacking on the tall grasses that grew near the water.

"You'll get a belly ache if you keep munching those weeds." I patted his shoulder and he snorted at me. I chuckled, dropping to my knees and unwrapping the soap. The purple paper reminded me of the young woman who had come questioning me about the witch. Her face had seemed so hopeful when she asked and when I answered her, she was crushed.

It was a shame to see her suffering; she was definitely a beauty. If I were younger and she found me desirable, I'd perhaps take a chance on love again. But a young woman like that was probably more interested in a blushing beauty like Isabel, not an old sapphist like me.

I dipped the soap into the water, shaking it, then rubbed it between my palms, lathering it up. I thought of how the young woman looked at me. She was nothing more than a customer at my stall, but I'd seen in her something familiar. I couldn't place it. It was like I knew her from somewhere, but we'd never met. Those high cheekbones that framed in her gorgeous blue eyes. I'd seen them before.

I bent over the water, rubbing the soap against my skin. I felt the grains of dirt and sand scrape against my cheeks and it stung a little. The road from Grafburg home was dry now, but given a month and the rainy season would be here. I'd be covered in mud and soaking wet instead. This was far easier to clean and took less time. I splashed water on my face to rinse away the soap and grime and hovered over the water waiting for the droplets to rain back down into the slow current.

When I opened my eyes I saw my reflection in the ripples and smiled softly. I stared at a younger version of myself--what I truly looked like, not the mask I wore for Harvard's sake. The wrinkles were gone, the dark circles. My skin was youthful and fresh again, the spell I'd cast over my skin reversed. It could easily be renewed, but the magic of the soap had done it's trick. I blinked, using the hem of my skirt to dry my hands and face, and the few strands of silver that clung to my temples and jawline, which soon would revert to black.

Harvard would be surprised but not shocked. It was time I decided to care for my appearance and stop sulking. Evelyn was gone and I was still here. The young woman at the market today reminded me that life must go on, and the emptiness in my heart would not fill itself.

I rose and collected the soap and its wrapper, then climbed on the wagon and settled in to finish our journey home. The second half of the journey seemed to take less time than the first. When Jarek staggered up the path, passing the garden, I looked out over my collection of stone statues. Each one of them had a story, each one someone's love lost to tragedy. My collection grew by the day, some of them blown over the by winds and broken, others still standing tall and intact. A few of them were grown over with vines. I'd have to remind Harvard to clear them off before the snows hit.

But the one I wanted most, the one that would have made my collection complete stood in the center of the square. I'd never bring that one home, which was why I had started selling my treasures in Grafburg instead of Kilnshire Port. I remained close to remind myself, and her, that love never fails.

"Ah! You're early. Didn't stop for lunch?" I heard the gravelly growl of his voice before I saw him and knew instantly he'd not had enough tea. When he rounded the corner of the cabin with his shirt off I noticed the fur first, then the way his nose had elongated. He had some bit of control over his shift, but when it got bad he was as wild as a pack of wolves on Cerenia.

"Harvard! You didn't have the tea." I pulled Jarek's reins and halted him, wrapping them around the brake and hopping down.

"Winter?" he asked. Though his face was mostly wolf-like, I could see the confusion in his eyes.

"Let's not bother with that right now." I rushed to the cabin door and opened it hastily. I heard him following me. He wanted answers. "You need tea. What if someone had come calling? This is all my fault. I was so tired last night, I must have forgotten or mixed up the tea with the wrong kind. I'm sorry, Harvard."

I hastened to the pantry and pulled out a box of the free tea leaves, soaked in my cauldron in the elixirs that would control his shifting then dried and crushed. The metal tin held at least a months' worth of tea for him at any given time, but it was identical to the tea I used for vigor and energy. I must have made my tea by mistake and served it to him before sleeping.

"It's okay, Winter." He grabbed my wrist and looked into my eyes. His were entirely yellow now, not their normal hazel color. "You helped me enough last night. No need to be frantic." He was calm, which made me calmer, but I still got the kettle and set it near the hearth, dropping to my knees to start a fire. With a flick of my fingers the flame burst to life and I dropped it on the charcoal and tinder left from my fire yesterday.

"You used the soap?" I heard the chair scrape on the floor and glanced at his feet then turned back to the fire.

"I did."

"You met someone then?" His voice sounded despondent, like I had hurt him somehow. I had made no vow to him of monogamy, but I could see how he would feel insecure--as if me falling in love with someone might take from him something he thought was his. He'd never bar me from pursuing happiness, but when Evelyn was in my life, the dynamic between he and I had changed.

"Perhaps..." I thought of the young woman and smiled as I rotated the iron stand so the grate was over the flames. "Or maybe I just decided after two decans it was time for me to move on." I placed the kettle on the grate and stood, returning to the tin of leaves. I pushed some into a pouch and tied it off, laying it on the table across from him while I waited for the water to boil. "We'll need to unload and get Jarek to the barn. He's quite tired today."

"Right." Harvard sighed and rose. "I'll handle it while you prepare the tea." The somber tone in his voice saddened me.

"And then we will make sure you're nice and relaxed again, give the tea the best chance to work. If we have to start making it stronger again, I'm afraid you'll start regressing in age instead of maintaining it."

He nodded at me but his sad eyes spoke louder than his words. "Anything you'd like, Winter. I'm here for you."

He walked out the door, leaving it cracked, and I sank onto a chair. I knew he'd adjust soon enough. If only there were a way to convince some woman somewhere to see in him what I saw. He needed more than just me, and I needed something entirely different than him. I gazed into the fire lost in thought. The minute he saw my change in appearance he knew.

Maybe I had met someone, or maybe my hopes were being raised by something that was never meant to be. Only time would tell.