All Comments on 'My Son and His Best Friend Ch. 04'

Omg now I'm so turn on you would not believe keep going alfredo I'm so wet at the moment

Great story. Well written and HOT to boot!!

I have been following the series and overall it is well done but I am having a big issue with the characterization of Aunt Jess that has jaded the rest. The challenge I have is in the first episode where Aunt Jess left her "friend" in a bar, leaving with both men who had brought them, when she was totally wasted. I just can't see a real friend doing that. Even though her intention was to get her "friend" laid, leaving her alone in that state is incomprehensible to me for a real friend. So many bad things could happen including STD's or worse. It would have made more sense (to me) if Aunt Jess had arranged for one of the guys to pay attention to her friend and then took both of them home after the boys arrived. It is also surprising to me that neither of the boys has called out Aunt Jess for any of this. I simply can't imagine any son or friend letting her off. All of this makes me challenge Aunt Jess's intentions since it makes it appear that a desire to help her "friend" isn't real and is instead some twisted fantasy of hers.

great story with a lot of building tension but Jess being totally oblivious to the 2 horny teenagers craving this women doesn't work for me. Hopefully you can fix this over-site in future chapters.

I'm not typically a fan of stories with chapters that end like a commercial break from a show. That said, your writing is hot and I am invested at this point. There are some unrealistic things that take away from the story. Single mother or not, she would have never answered her phone. He's 25, not some young teenager. Hard to imagine Mark and Luke even talking at this point if the latter had just fucked the girl Mark was dating, let alone hanging out all the time. All that said, the story is well-written, incredibly sexy, and fun. I only wish the chapters were either longer or the chapters told complete mini stories rather than blend into one another. But that's nit-picking. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Remarkably I’m still following this story. There are a number of shortcomings that your work presents, as previous critics have stated here and I would have to agree. Your chapters are short, too short, and do end like commercial breaks or “Cliff Hangers” which is a trope you seem to rely heavily upon, almost too heavily. It’s like you don’t believ in your own work, so much so, that you have to leave the reader with a necessary hook in order to ensure their return. Further, each chapter doesn’t seem to progress the story much beyond the scene it’s written for, there doesn’t seem to be an over reaching destination. Our characters are in some sort of journey here but what is beyond solving the problem or set of problems that exist in this particular scene or chapter. Sure mom needs to get laid and we can all see where the currents are leading us but there’s not much else going on here. In general your writing is good, but there is just not enough of it. If your trade Mark becomes Eight Paragraph and your out, you’ll either have to become extremely prolific or you’ll quickly bore your audience. Don’t get me wrong here, what you’re writing is good, there just needs to be “More Meat on the Bones”

A reader shouldn't have to work so hard to figure out who is talking. Learn the mechanics of dialogue before you write another word. If doing the work isn't your thing, then writing shouldn't be either.

I just want to say a big thank you to those who are having fun with this series. Honestly this was a rush of inspiration compiled in short bursts. The character I designed Jess to be is supposed to be someone fun, flirty, a little flighty or frustrating, and she has a big role coming up. I did mention this was a slow burn in my tags, so please don't be too upset with me taking my time. That won't always happen. As for the dialogue, I know. But having three characters speak to me while trying to keep up with what I want the flow to feel like has been interesting and kind of hard for me. Especially since this is my first work. I never intended the chapters to be cliff hangers. For my next series I may just make them super long instead of ending at my turning points since a lot of you seem to dislike the 'commercial endings' and I apologize for that. I posted the first 4 all on the same day, so I couldn't really change anything at that point. Again, thank you all so much for sticking with me. I still have a lot of fun ideas for these characters. Please continue to enjoy and thanks for the feedback.

I'm trying to be benevolent here, alfredo_baby, but so many people consider it rude for anyone to be critical of anything.

If you have even the tiniest bit of a struggle with understanding anything about what you've written, then someone who didn't write it will be lost. They may not know it because they won't put the effort in to understand it and just go with how it's written.

I'm not going to go into the details here, but if you want some help with it contact me privately. This isn't an offer to edit for you, but I am willing to explain the problem thoroughly and how to fix it just as thoroughly.

I guarantee it will improve your writing or your money back (that's a joke, cause you there won't be any money exchanged to give back).

If you're wondering why you should put any credence to what I'm telling you now, or will privately regarding your writing, go to the Explore button where one does to read the postings for new stories in the incest category, then scroll down past new stories to the section for popular stories and click on the 30 day tab. You won't need to go very far down that list to find my credentials.

This is one of the hottest mom/son stories I have ever read. I love how you finally succumed to your needs and the needs of your boys.

I’m glad I found this series again. It’s finally getting good!

Thats was very sexy