by L.A. Wicker
Critics that don't help a writer to improve his or her style, story telling, and all are pointless.
I rather ask L. A. Wicker if had already in mind a prequel that tells us all about the two female protagonists, if they were lovers, how did they hatch that plan (or scheme...) of theirs and so on.
Thank you.
E. M. SCOTLAND
I have read many of your stories as old as this one is you could have introduced many more chapters . I'm so disappointed in this is a horrible ending no explaining how the two woman plotting ? How did they know he was going to be on that stretch of road what are there future plans of the young man ? Does he end up in the major leagues ? does he have a future with the woman . Come on !
What on earth is this all about?.There is no way Cindy would know he would bump into Kelly.
You definitely need to follow up with several more chapters, since your story line can go so much further!
Loved this story and the conclusion when both gals indicated that they had plotted to capture Larry for their own. A 6th chapter, heck no, there is enough here to last another 5 or 6 chapters. Writing was very good and story line great with the description of these two lovely women, wow to lick their pussies and asses until their cum flowed like a river from their sweet pussies. Lovely thought more chapters please
5/5 for the romantic fairy tale. Nicely done, good plot surprises, vivid and interesting interactions.
3/3 for overall plot. Real life issues not addressed like repercussions from the good deed in the week after at school or at the game.
Just unbalanced. Maybe it was just short focused exercise to train romance themes.
Author has great potential. Would make a great 5/5 novel, if plot holes were filled and story developed further.
All the best, Simon
No wonder you don't have a love life except for your hand. What a pig you are.
Looks like they set you up but in good way.hope you got them both pregnant.i know bunch of guys read this and they would like to know if they were interested in getting gangbanged together with 12 guys fucking them real good having their cunt ads and mouth fucked at sametime bareback even if they get pregnant because I know these guys would make sure that these two woman got fucked real good doing a all day and night gangbangs because they would be sore walking having all that fun leaking out of them.
Loved every one hope there is more to come from the three of them in how Cindy and Kelly got together and how they got to where they fucked him together so more please
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH part 5 that goes without asking please please please please part 5!
Yes! Please add another part where you explore their asses you talk about so much!
awesome storie i hope that you write more and i will look for your works thanks
This was so hot!!!!!!! You better make another part you cant end it like that!
You better continue this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU BETTER DO A PART 5, THE ENDING WAS GOOD BUT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU EXPLAINED......
how they knew each other, their 'plan', how they pulled it off, and the like ?
a mystery wrapped around an enigma.
Very Good Story, please continue the story, keep up the
good work!
I absolutely think that there should be a chapter 5, so we can understand the connection between kelly an cindy.
this is a great series and should be continued and not just left hanging
there's no continuation. I loved it. Pity that there is no more to this.
Where is part 5. Writing like this, you can't leave us on a wire. Continue to close
I agree with the other readers i want to read the other chapters that was to short i want to know will kelly and cindy stay with Larry and will he make them pregnant?
I loved the twist...very hot...but still am wondering why they needed the ruse when all he wanted to do was fuck her brains out. Maybe part 6 will explain it...Will wait with baited breath
pity, this is 4 yrs old now (2001?), guess it will not be continued. i would have like a couple more chapters.....
I don't know how many times I have read this story, buy it is one the best. Please would you finsh it. I like to see how they work out.
I like all of your other stories too.
Please write part 6. I just finished the first 5 and can't wait for the next part.