All Comments on 'My Thoughts on Handjobs'

I really like the reflective style. I have only two observations: in your first part, you probably would have done well to describe who was at the party in the first place. My first thought was that it was a bunch of guys sitting around drinking, and, well, with the word “handjob” in the title - as Seinfeld said, “ not that there’s anything wrong with that,” but…at least some brief description of who is there, a little earlier on, would have been better.

Second, the story loses its way about halfway through. You have two decent stories here and they seem a little jammed together. Either splitting them up into separate stories or somehow preparing us for two incidents earlier on in the story would have done a world of good.

I really do like the reflective style - it sounds real - and the fact that you own up to the imperfect qualities of the main character gives it an extra dimension.

Thanks for the extremely useful feedback! I think both of you concerns are very valid; I forgot to add a disclaimer at the beginning telling the reader that this is an excerpt from my autobiography - so when this chunk in its native context it fits much better as it’s boosted by non-sexual stories on both side that go with the flow of the book, and help move character development forward. If you want a free copy of the book just shoot me a message and I’d be glad to send it to you.

First time I’ve seen a story in calgary