All Comments on 'My Training In Prison'

Awful writing.

Badly written

Just CRAP!

Uncommon, love it

its not bad

this is aswome wow

The jarring English sets the tone. I'm not one for first person, but you add to it by giving your main character an accent. Really smart move.

This does seem a bit rushed. I'm picturing the story told during a reconciliation trial or an investigative event of some kind. Also a good technique. I understand why the main character would hedge on the details concerning sex, but there is a real chance to expand on things when the character talks about his first meal. Here's a place to give the reader an idea of what's going on and some of the implications of the events.

Looking forward to more.

The voice in this piece is wonderful. It sets the tone and makes the first person work. There is so much going on here; I wish that you slowed things down a bit. Take your time and explore the situation. Give the reader more insight into this new time and the purpose of the place. It's a details sort of thing. Tell us about the food, explain about the men with the lost voices and the impact on the narrator, stretch the time, describe the screen of instructions, and give a hint to what the narrator is training for. Have the narrator use his senses. Lights, sounds, smells. This all has to trigger something. This is a good start and I hope to read more. Have the stealing bread a lie. Give him a real crime or a big crime. Cut the Jean Valjean loaf of bread stuff.