All Comments on 'My Videochat Error Ch. 33 (FTDS)'

Thanks for continuing the story.

Really well done.

Please keep writing!

First, I want to commend "MichaelFitzgerald" for taking on what seems to be a monumental task of continuing this incredibly complex and very compelling story. Like the many individuals who have commented previously in response to the initial 32 "chapters" written by NaughtyOne88 (the "First 32 Chapters"), I've been intrigued to "find out" the full story surrounding the myriad of events that had been described in the First 32 Chapters.

While I eagerly look forward to seeing possible upcoming chapters to this story, at this point as suggested by "MichalelFitzgerald", I would like to contribute what I hope are viewed as constructive comments regarding this exciting new "Chapter 33".

The primary focus of my comments is the seemingly critical divergence in Emma's basic character and nature that was introduced in Chapter 33. In an interesting attempt to fill in some of the backstory regarding the beginning and early years of the relationship between Shaun and Emma, Shaun continues his ongoing narration of this story by reflecting on how passionate and sexually adventurous Emma was upon meeting her in college and in the early years of their relationship.

I spotted at least three noteworthy memories he mentioned in Chapter 33:

1. He recalls how when they first met, they seemed to spontaneously and immediately have had uncontrolled passionate sex, beginning specifically with each of them performing oral sex on the other and then later with her sitting upon his lap impaling herself on him;

2. Shaun also recalls how much more sexually adventurous Emma was than he as their relationship began to develop and they had sex all around the campus in a variety of public places.

3. And then there was his comment that Emma had loved practical jokes, which was later followed by an anecdote about her causing him to be exposed and humiliated in front of a group of women at a pool party and then when they got home, Emma nearly fucked him to death.

I admit that these newly-introduced aspects of their relationship and of Emma's aggressive sexuality and adventurous overall personality could have be an intriguing addition to the story - and I also recognize how they would then conveniently lay an obvious foundation for the emergence of Emma's apparent dramatic changes in the expression of her sexuality and personality as revealed in the second half of the First 32 Chapters.

But to have Shaun now recall those specific aspects of their relationship and regarding Emma's sexuality at this point in the story seems inconsistent with every previous related comment of Shaun (as the story's narrator) regarding Emma throughout the First 32 Chapters.

At the very outset of the story in Chapter 1, Shaun sets the tone for the reader's impression of his long relationship with Emma and regarding her sexuality when he reflects that at 40 years old " . . . our sex life has diminished over the years, but has always been 'normal'. My wife Emma is very traditional in the bedroom and thinks that kinkier things than the missionary position are for sexual deviants." This does not at all seem to be the same person who later in Chapter 33 now instead remembers a younger Emma being sexually aggressive and adventurous and sharing a sex life with her that was "red hot".

Shaun also consistently throughout the First 32 Chapters describes Emma as "prim and proper" and as each new sexually aggressive side of Emma is later revealed, Shaun is shocked and can't imagine that his relatively sexually repressed Emma could possibly be inclined toward or capable of anything like those types of sexual drives or behaviors.

Again, those would not have been the comments of a man telling this story who had met and had shared the early years of their relationship with the sexually aggressive and adventurous "twenty-something Emma" described in their backstory in the Chapter 33.

Also, more specifically, there is the turning point scene in Chapter 16 at the sex party at the Harding's mansion, when Shauna is confronted with Emma unexpectedly arriving and being sexually used next to Shauna in the "cuckhold room" and Shaun is ordered to "clean up" Emma's "love canal".

At that point, Miranda commanded Shauna to: "Submit to your wife's pussy. Worship it with your mouth. Do it now", And then Shaun's narrative clearly states: "Tentatively I extended my tongue. Emma never let me do this."

So again, the reflections in Chapter 33 of Shaun's experiences with a wildly sexual younger Emma who eagerly accepted him performing oral sex on her (especially when they had just met) is totally inconsistent with Shaun's consistently stated impressions of his prim and proper wife's sexuality and personality throughout nearly every chapter up through Chapter 16, as well as his continued stated struggle to accept each revelation of the total reversal in her behavior and persona throughout the balance of the First 32 Chapters.

And at no point in the story prior to Chapter 33 does he ever give the slightest hint that he has ever seen any aspect of a sexually aggressive or adventurous side of Emma, nor does he ever seem to express regret for somehow being the one responsible for failing to fuel her passion over the years.

The clear importance of now introducing this inconsistent backstory regarding Emma's earlier sexually aggressive and adventurous personality and behaviors is that is that it forces the reader to somehow reconcile how Shaun suddenly mentions a completely different side of Emma in Chapter 33 at this well developed point in the story.

Somehow, when he now in Chapter 33 for the first time in this story reflects back on when he first met Emma and upon the earlier years of their relationship, it turns out his clear and graphic memories of Emma are now actually not of her being prim and proper with a very limited sexual range but instead of Emma being adventurously drawn to aggressive sex in ways that went far beyond "missionary position", including receiving oral sex and being very turned on by humiliating Shaun.

The upshot of forcing the reader to now "rewrite" the Emma character they met and became familiar with throughout the First 32 Chapters is to then transform so many of the imagined possible plot lines that were based on Shaun's consistently expressed perception in the First 32 Chapters of his previously prim and proper and sexually limited wife who has now suddenly changed so dramatically . . . and trying to imagine (along with thr readers) why that is now happening.

My hope would be that whatever is the further development of the plot lines in this resumed story at this point, there could somehow be an effort to rewrite portions of Chapter 33 or otherwise reconcile all of Shaun's previously stated impressions of Emma expressed in the First 32 Chapters with these newly-introduced recollections in Chapter 33 of Emma's sexually aggressive and adventurous sexual behavior and personality early on in their relationship that Shaun seemingly totally forgot all about in his narration of the story throughout the First 32 Chapters.

Another suggested topic to somehow address going forward is the previously oft-mentioned upcoming seasonal company picnic at the home of Emma's boss "Dave". In Chapter 30, Miranda had met with Shauna and Denise on Sunday, the day before the end of Chapter 32 (which closed on a Monday night with Shauna and Emma cuddled together in bed after the big deal with Harding Industries that afternoon and Shauna's night out at the club with Denise and the "girls" that evening). During the meeting with Shauna and Denise on that Sunday, Miranda had reminded Shauna that "Dave's company picnic" is "next Saturday".

Then Chapter 33 begins with the statement that "a week passed" (since the end of Chapter 32) - so that would mean the narrative in Chapter 33 begins on the following Monday with Shaun heading off to work, which would then be a couple of days after Dave's company picnic would have been held on the previous Saturday afternoon. Wondering if the potential events of that seemingly important gathering might somehow be woven into the story going forward.

P. S. Two other noticed minor detail inconsistencies in Chapter 33 were that: (1) Shaun and Emma were mentionrd in Chapter 1 to have three children (while only two seemed to be mentioned in Shaun's reflection on his apparent critical shift at one point to focusing on the benefit of his children and not so much on Emma); and (2) the full name of Shaun's boss ("Terry") was mentioned to in Chapter 31 as "Terrance Jones" and was reintroduced in Chapter 33 to "Thierry Quinn".

Thank you for continuing this story. Really enjoyed the backstory sex. Must be crushing for Shauna to think of the sex they used to have. Take the story in the direction you feel it should go.

Here's the plan. Shorter chapters more often. NO88 must have felt crushed by the huge narrative burden he/she was dragging. So things get narrowed. Ultimately, this is a love story where betrayal, cruelty, manipulation, greed, lying, lust, fetish, infidelity, cuckoldry, maledom, lezdom, exhibitionism, corporate politics, hotwifery, control, humiliation, and revenge are coin of the realm. Much to do.

Thank you for continuing the story. 1 question: are you going to include Emma's office party, weekend with Jason, and possibly the party w/ Denise and Emma preforming?

I have to agree with desires_more, Michael is taking the story in the wrong direction. I do agree with Michael that shorter chapters, more frequently is desirable. The shapewear is a mistake, the ring is a good idea, ( but not flashy, maybe a small pink stone.) Emma's personality change is wrong, period. (d_m is right on this.) I do want to thank MichaelFitzgerald for taking up the baton.

Suggestion, withdraw this chapter, write about Shauna's weekend with Jason, and rework this chapter and make it chapter 24

I would agree with desiring more . With the suggested adjustment to the narrative going forward , I think it would be a first class continuation of a very interesting series.

In all all other aspects it was excellent.

Please do continue.

All,

Thanks for your comments. I have struggled to accelerate the narrative of this story. Where NO88 stopped writing, the Emma character was boring and suffered from the Martian Slut Ray problem. She's prim, then she' s fucking around, then she's talking about it with Sean at the coffee show and then she's performing at a sex party orgy, fucking the nanny guy, her trainer, a guy she works with and who knows else. There is not a wit of reason why this should be. Sean suffers from the same problem. There is no coherent reason as of the end of Ch. 32 why he would but up with this shit.

My plan is to rebuild characters so the backstory widens the narrative and makes more varied character development realistic. I appreciate that this means the Emma's of the tale may get reworked but I believe that will lead to a more exciting story. Put it this way, there's not much you can do with a formerly prim, 40-year old housewife and mom, who fucks around and treats her husband like shit. Cuddling with your husband (when you think he's asleep) and saying I love you after fucking another guy (when you think hubby can't hear it) is a straitjacket and dead end. So let's let Emma loosen her stays and reinvent herself.

MF

Reread this chapter and will wait on the reinvention of Emma. I do think Shauna's awaking rebellion is a good direction. Personally I hope Shauna accepts her womanhood. But Michael will do as he wishes. I will keep reading his stories. Thank you MichaelFitzgerald.

If Emma was so hot and slutty before marriage, and now slutting around with many lovers, why isn't he questioning the paternity of his daughters?

Just reread NO88's chapter 26. How did NO88 know that magenta was Shaun(a)'s favorite color? Wife maybe?

I think I'm liking MF's ( darn what lousy initials) version better and better. And by chapter 26 he/ she is lying to her/his self. Yes she does like sex with men. She does like the taste of cum. And humiliation does turn her on. Jason does not humiliate her, thus she feels some, lust/liking, strengthening emotions toward him. Shauna's excitement, thoughts about how humiliating about getting a ring from is telling hugs

Hugs All

Ms Danie

Rewrite of last sentence.

Shauna's, excitement, thoughts about humiliation, and the meaning of having a cheater ring, also tells us Shauna's feelings about Jason and her being acknowledged as a woman. Jason's woman!

Thank you for picking up this story! It will be difficult to stick with all the nuance, character development, and story line that NO88 had planned. I sent NO88 several emails over time and until last year they were promptly replied and made it clear that the outline of the complete story was known.

That being said, I think folks want to know: (a) who is Naughty?, (b) why does Naughty want to punish Shaun(a)?, i.e., what did Shaun do to make this happen?(c) why does Nick have so much authority?, (d) how feminine will Shauna get? e.g., breast implants?, (e) will Shaun be replaced by Shauna full time? (f) What about Shaun's former administrative assistant that he fired and who he now has to work with on the latest business venture? (g) What role does Emma play in all this? (h) Will the relationship between Shaun and Emma survive? And if so, what form will it take?

Others can add further questions. This story is one of the best written pieces here and I'd hate to see it dropped without closure, even if it isn't the closure NO88 had planned. Long stories are so much better than the more typical 3 to 6 pager. I have come to like watching limited series rather than a singular 2 hour movie because of the character development and nuance that appears in the longer series. The same applies to stories found here.

All will be answered.

Not for me⭐️

Anytime soon?

Maybe just continuing the OP’s direction was too big of an ask? Maybe several folks could post stories continuing different parts of the original. Trying to “correct” inconsistencies in the already posted story doesn’t seem constructive and it seems to be dragging out the new posts?

Bad to say FTDS when you don't FTDS

Is there another chapter coming soon?

Are you going to write any more chapters?

Are you writing any more??

FTDS !!!