All Comments on 'My Wife and Tommy'

First, this was written from the perspective of the wife, not the husband. Second, she got busy in a church? Why a church? From there, your story got worse. If this were a horse, we would shoot it to put it out of its misery.

In church? You've got to bucking kidding me!

Impossible to comment this...1* (Where are the negative ratings when we need them?)

but told by an equally mentally retarded narrator.

Congratulations?

more cuck shit.

Or all your future stories are in for high scores of one or zero

this was rubbish

The story was hard to read Tommy went from boy friend to girl back and forth. Someone should proof read; this was bad.

The mystery for me is how a writer with as many stories as you have to your credit could still violate so many rules of good writing. Before you attempt another story, think about reading every article in Literotica's resources for writers--or not--but it couldn't hurt.

Only real insane people can write such a crap!!!

Move along. Nothing to see here.

I don't know if you intended to write like a brain-dead whore or it just came out that way. I thought the story idea had some promise but this is as bad as it gets as far as content and keeping your interest.

As your story started I felt as if my late wife had written it. She also found her former high school boyfriend was living near by and she also asked if she could go visit him, She didn´t come home till about noon the following day. she was not only sore but swollen so much so. That as was customary to us, when she went out with somebody I would get to make love to her to celebrate her conquest. Well when I tried to enter her she was so swollen I couldn´t fit in. it wasn´t till like the third day before the soreness went down enough for me to enter her. she also did the skinny dipping at secluded beaches. In other words she was as his wife especially when I had to go out of town. this went on for almost a year till she started falling in love with him it was then she went got her stuff from his house and broke it off.

I thought not!

-1,000,000 *s

Great story, I loved every stroke of every cock. Count me in. xoxoxo Annette

and it still wouldn't stink as bad as this shit does.

I haven't seen you commenting on stories before so maybe a warning will suffice. If this author wants to avoid insults containing foul language posted by anonymous, she should change her profile/options to not allow anonymous feedback. You, however, used a real user ID to post a comment that was purely insulting, using foul language. Regardless of your opinion of the story, that's uncalled for and violates literotica's terms of service. Be warned! Foul language, e;g;, calling an author a whore, is allowed in stories but not in comments.

Shut up you fucking whore.

I've been a literotica reader for years, but I've never felt the need to comment on a story until now.

So, where to begin? I've got a lot of pet pevs when it comes to reading stories that just make it completely impossible for me to finish. The first one is; pick a point of view and keep with it. Unless it's the story actually being told from two different people's pov, you need to keep it either first person or third person. If you don't know what that means, I'll gladly explain, but for now I'll assume you do.

Rolling along with the same kind of "theme" in my issues; past tense, present tense, and future tense. It either has happened, is happening, or will happen. The story can't take place in all three. Pick a tense and stick with it.

You started off with decent paragraphs and then it devolved into a bunch of three word, single lined sentences. That breaks up the flow greatly. Also, what was the guy's name? Oh yeah, "Tommy" how could I forget? You used his name at the beginning of 30 sentences. Pronouns are your friends.

I want to add that this post isn't intended to be mean, simply constructive criticism. I hope you take what you can from it and it helps in future endeavors. Good luck!

The funny thing about this story is that it reads as some sort of stream of consciousness poem or ballad. If MST3K did erotic fiction riffing this would be the first candidate in line! This is not some run of the mill, poorly written story. The author worked hard to make it channel Andy Kaufman. Please keep up the utterly bizarre work!

You crack me up. Who are you to tell an author anything. What the fuck is the matter with you, it's not only the anonymous that comment negatively, a lot of username readers do the same thing. Get a life beside living in loving wives public feedback. Your warning don't mean shit. Since when does anybody listen to you or your cronies. I don't remember electing you to be the watch dog over loving wives. When these scum authors write a decent erotic story maybe they will be treated accordingly.

Bad in sooo many ways. One hardly knows where to start. So I won't.

Need this.

You are so prolific, yet so fucking bad ! You just wrote this one only a few months ago, so you've had plenty of practice. Apparently you haven't learned very much about writing. I could not even force myself to finish this "story." I don't even know where to begin. There are so many errors in grammar, punctuation, tense, etc., etc., that one wonders if you actually read this again after writing it. If you are serious about writing you need to find a decent editor who will be gentle with beginners. You are a beginner, there is no doubt. Talking dirty does not a story make.

No one writes whores like this ass, wifelvrwimp.

three stupid characters