by StevoHawk
My only advice would be to slow down - draw out the action, use all five senses (this is some good advice that I got and it works) and put your reader in the room with you. But I'll tell ya - got me wet!
Not sure what that impotent person's problem is who made the negative comment. This was well-written--RARE FOR LITEROTICA--and very plausible.
Nice story...THANKS!
this was a nice story and the negative feedback was unwarranted. From a ladies point of view, we like slow buildup, foreplay before jumping right in. Slow the pace of the story down and you will improve your writing.
It went a little quick, and the DVD seamed to be forgotten. So what was it for? Needed more foreplay. Otherwise I liked it. Don't stop writing. And ignore negative comments from cowards signing in as 'anonymous'.