Navy SEAL and Homeless Woman Ch. 09

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"I'm sorry Susan," said Christopher staring at her withdrawing inside of herself. Going from sorrow to anger, he withdrew his apology. "Actually, I'm not sorry for falling in love with you," he said with anger. "I'm sorry for revealing my true feelings of love so soon."

Not even looking at him, she continued looking down at the floor.

"We're made for one another. Don't you see that? We were meant to be together," he said.

He touched her hand when she didn't look at him. He took her by her shoulders and shook her when she didn't look at him. He wanted to slap her when she didn't speak, but he'd never do that. Unbelievably with him having killed many women and children, convolutedly, he'd never hit a woman.

"I'm sorry Christopher," was all that she said.

Better than saying nothing, at least she said something.

"Damn it! We're both fucked up. Yet, here we are. You're just as broken as I am. No woman would want me and no man can deal with you. We have too much baggage to ever be normal but why not be abnormal together? We could make it work. This is our chance for something special so why not take the chance?" He let go of her when she stared past him. "Say something. Say anything. Talk to me."

She looked up at him with sad eyes.

"What do you want me to say? I have nothing to say," she said finally looking at him. "I don't love you. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I don't love you."

She looked at him with cold, distant eyes. She looked at him as if he was looking at a stranger. He did it now. Just as he had turned on her switch to have sex with him, he had turned off her switch by telling her that he loved her.

How could he be so stupid not to know her reaction. If he were in field and she was some middle eastern woman, he would have summed her up with a look and at a glance. Yet, back home and a stranger in his own country, already making a big mistake, he had made the wrong move by telling her that he loved her so soon, too soon.

"I'm tired of living alone Susan. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of going places alone and doing things alone. I'm sick to death of having no one to talk to but myself. I want someone in my life. I want a woman to love and who will love me. I want you," he said pleading his case.

She put her fingers to her lips when he leaned to kiss her.

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"Don't talk. Just don't talk. It's better if you don't talk and we just have sex," she said looking at him. "Pretend that I'm one of your special friends. Okay? Pretend that I'm a prostitute. Pretend that I'm your whore instead of the woman that you love."

He nodded his head.

"Okay," he said.

If he had any pride, he'd turn her down for sex but having sex with her without her having any love for him and any kind of affectionate emotion was still worth it. She was so beautiful. Surely, he could pretend she loved him while having sex with her.

"Only..."

She gave him the same impatient look that he gave his new recruits when they poured off the bus not knowing what to expect.

"What," she asked?

He gave her a sexy smile and a dirty look.

"What about pillow talk?"

She made a face.

"Pillow talk?"

She looked at him as if he was nuts. Yet, successful with his strategy, his aim was to get her talking to him again.

"I like talking dirty while making love, sorry, I mean, having sex and I figured that you do too," he said.

# # #

He apologized to Susan as if apologizing to his mother for his need to talk dirty after her catching him masturbating over her. Only, he wasn't the type of guy to have fantasize having incestuous sex with his mother. Besides, Susan looked nothing like his mother, thank God.

"Yeah, I do enjoy talking dirty while having sex," she said with a dirty laugh. "How did you know that I like pillow talk? Only, can we limit our conversation to sexual pillow talk? Once you start complimenting me, Christopher, you go overboard. You go all sappy on me," she said with a laugh. "Not deserving of your compliments, your compliments make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not worthy of your adulation. That makes me feel bad instead of good," she said.

He nodded his head in agreement to all that she had said.

"I know and you're right, Susan. I'm sorry. Suddenly, something I never was, with you pushing all of my buttons, I'm needy. Obviously, I need you more than you need me," he said revealing his private thoughts.

He paused as if thinking what more he wanted to say.

"Pining the loss of my beloved Navy SEALs, as if it's one of my buddies that just died, I'm like one of those guys living at home with their mother. Sucking at her tit for too long, the Navy was my whole life. I never thought I'd be like that but you make me like that. I hate saying this and if my buddies ever heard me say this, I'd never hear the end of it," he said with a sardonic, little laugh.

He looked at her with sad eyes while hoping she understood.

"Say what?"

He laughed.

"You bring out the woman in me," he said squeezing her hand while cringing from uttering the words.

She laughed.

"What? I bring out the woman in you," she asked while laughing?

She looked at him as if he told her that he didn't love her when he did love her. She gave him a look that told him that it was impossible for her to not only love him but also to love anyone. Even though he felt closer to any other woman, as if she had a brick wall surrounding her, she felt distant.

She laughed again.

"What are you suddenly gay," she asked while laughing? "Are you going gay on me Christopher?"

He laughed, too.

"Hardly," he said with a laugh. "It's just being with you, Susan, is different than being with the guys, an understatement," he said laughing while looking at her sitting across from her naked. "You make me feel things that I never felt before," he said.

He reached out to cup her big breast in his hand.

"Literally," she said with a laugh.

She looked down at his hand fondling her breast and watched his fingers fingering her erect nipple.

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"You make me want to do things that I never wanted to do before. You made me realize how much of my life I lost fighting and training men to fight someone else's war, a war waged just for the sake of money. Money, money, money, the death, and dismemberment of some of the best men I've ever known, trained, and some of the best buddies I ever had are dead for the sake of money," he said.

Suddenly he looked as sad as he looked angry.

"Now that they're done with me, I'm done with them. Just as you're the shell of the woman you once were, I'm the shell of the man that I used to be," he said.

She looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?"

She asked the question but her look confessed that she already knew the answer.

"Don't play games. You know what I mean, Susan. We both suffer from Post Traumatic Stress but for different reasons," he said.

She waved her hands.

"I really don't want to talk about that with you," she said. "I'd rather not be analyzed by you."

# # #

Paying her no never mind, he continued.

"You were raped and brutalized by your relatives and by the men in your life and I was shot at and wounded in a war that I was ordered to fight not for freedom, not for terrorism, but for money," he said.

Ignoring her request that he not discuss that part of her life, he took a chance.

"War is big money. Their call to arms, a call that few of them have even answered themselves, old, fat, Caucasian men wave the United States flag and get rich while the rest of us die for money that our families will never have."

She agreed with him with a nod of her pretty head.

"I am kind of a basket case," she said ignoring his confession to make her own. "I'm sorry for having that kind of reaction when you told me you love me but it's automatic, instinctive, and protective. I would have had less of a reaction had you slapped me across the face. Suddenly feeling suffocated, I was stunned, shocked, and surprised by what you said."

He smiled at her.

"I get it. I do. I know what you mean. I have the same reaction when someone startles me or sneaks up on me. If I don't catch myself, I could really hurt someone, even kill them," he said.

With him having never talked as much, he fell silent while thinking.

"Even though I loved serving in the Navy, I'm their creation. I'm their monster. They made me who I am today, a man who lives alone, is suspicious of everyone, and barely likes himself never mind anyone else," he said.

She laughed.

"You just described me," she said with sadness.

He reached out to hold her hand.

"And then you come along and I'm saying something that I've never said to anyone before, that I love you," he said looking at her. "I recognized something in you that I see in me. I love you Susan Jill Parker," he said again while lifting her chin to look in her eyes. "I love you. I don't care if you don't want me to say it and/or if you don't love me but I can't help from feeling what I feel."

He paused again while she remained silent.

"What I feel for you is a deep love. I feel affection that transgresses just having sex. If I wanted just sex I could pay to have sex with Simone, Lucy, and/or Carmen. Only, I don't love them. I don't want to have sex with them. I want to have sex with you," he said.

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She shook her head.

"Don't," she said putting her fingers to his lips. "Please stop saying that you love me when we both know that you don't and when we both know that you just want to be in love with someone, anyone, to feel something other than death and pain."

He looked at her with assurance.

"You're wrong about that. Yeah, sure, I'm a desperate man filled with anger and hate but I do love you. Having never felt this way before, I recognize my feelings now as love, real love."

Steadfast in her feelings, she looked at him with disbelief.

"Sorry Christopher but I can't love you. I don't know how. I don't have it in me to love you. I don't have it in me to love anyone," she said falling sadly silent again. "Just in the way that you are, I'm dead inside, too."

Not taking no for an answer, never taking no for answer, he looked at her determined for her to love him.

"Why? I don't understand? Why can't you love me?"

Refusing to even look at him, she put her head down.

"You don't understand? I don't understand how someone can love me when I don't love myself," she said talking to her chest.

She looked up at him while trying to make him understand.

"Sometimes, most times, all the time, I hate myself. I go around thinking that I wish I was dead. My interior monologue is filled with negative dialogue instead of with positive thoughts," she said looking at him sitting there with his mouth gaping open.

"And, there again, you just described me," he said nodding his head and clenching his fist as if he wanted to punch someone or hit something.

With them both consumed by frustration in trying to make sense of their feelings, having said all they needed to say, they fell silent with neither of them talking.

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"Can't we just forget about love, stop all of this talking, and just have sex," she asked? She looked at him. "I'm still horny. I still want to cum. I need to have a sexual orgasm, Christopher. Make me cum."

He looked at her long and hard before responding. As if she was his ship to achieve his one last chance of happiness in life, she slowly drifted away from the dock. He only had one running jump to hop aboard, otherwise, he'd be adrift at sea in the way he's always been aimlessly floating by not confronting his emotions when having sex with a prostitute.

"Sure. Yeah. Okay. I can do that," he said. "So long as we can still have pillow talk," something that I don't do with Simone, Lucy, or with Carmen. "Not much talking, we just have sex."

She laughed.

"Pillow talk? You want pillow talk Christopher, she asked laughing? "As I said before, I can give you pillow talk. I love talking dirty," she said grabbing his cock, stroking him, and watching his big dick grow hard in her hand. "Slam that big, hard prick in my warm, wet pussy SEAL but...," she said.

She paused to look at him with horniness and sexual lust.

"Before you do, lick me. Lick my cunt, Christopher. Make me wet with your tongue and your fingers. Eat me. Make me cum. Give me a sexual orgasm with your mouth," she said talking dirty to him.

She stopped talking to watch him move in between her shapely thighs. Then, she put her hands on both sides of her head to rub her vagina secretions all over his face.

"Feel my big tits and finger my erect nipples. Squeeze my tits while pulling, turning, and twisting my nipples. Make me sexually want you, Christopher. I need to cum. I need to cum with your fingers and your tongue inside of me," she said.

She stared down at him giving her oral sex.

"Before I take your cock in my pussy and in my mouth, again, I need you to give me a sexual orgasm by eating me," she said. "After you eat me, I can't wait to fuck you and suck you again. I can't wait for you to cum in my pussy and in my mouth," she said giving him plenty of pillow talk.

She paused while waiting for him to digest all that she said.

"Then, when I'm blowing you, when I'm sucking your cock, I'll suck you and stroke you fast and hard enough for you to shoot another warm, oozy load of cum inside my mouth that splashes against the back of my throat. Then, I'll continue sucking you and won't stop until you're ready to cum again. This time, I want you to cum all over my face, in my hair, and across my naked breasts. I want you to give me a cum bath, Christopher," she said. "I want to be dripping with your cum."

He looked at her with disbelief.

"Holy shit! With the mouth you have on you, you could have been a SEAL," he said laughing.

She laughed, too.

"Stop talking, Christopher, and lick my pussy while using one finger to rub my clit and your other finger to fuck my cunt," she said grabbing him around the neck and pulling his head down to her crotch. "You're my bitch now, bitch," she said with a laugh.

Never one to disobey a direct order, just as commanded, Christopher fell in between Susan's thighs again and licked her pussy while rubbing her clit with one finger and finger fucking her with his other finger. He used his other hand to reach up and fondle and squeeze her big breasts while fingering her pulling, turning, and twisting her erect, hard nipples.

"I love your blonde pussy Susan," he said giving her his own version of pillow talk. After talking dirty to her, he came up for air before lowering his mouth to her pussy, again. "I love licking you," he said licking and licking her while fingering her. "I love eating your cunt."

She grabbed his head with both of her hands. Then, she rubbed his face all over her wet pussy again. He had her pussy secretions all over his face, in his nose, and in his mouth. Instead of pushing her away, he had her squirming all over the sofa cushions. He had her moaning. Then, when he felt her legs tighten, when she was obviously ready to cum, she stopped and pulled him up to her.

"I'm ready of you. Fuck me now, Christopher. I'm wet enough. I'm really to be drilled, SEAL," she said.

Before mounting her, Christopher wiped his face with a towel that he placed by his makeshift bed. Then, he mounted her. As she told him to do, limiting his talking to pillow talk, he had his cock doing all the talking for him instead of his mouth.

Inserting himself inside of her warm and wet pussy, he slowly humped her. He made love to her. Then, humping her faster and humping her harder, he fucked her. Wrapping her long legs around his back along with her arms wrapped around his neck, she returned his fast and hard humps with her fast and hard humps. Fucking one another, it was clearly obvious that she loved him as much as he said that he loved her.

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"You're so warm. You're so wet. You're so tight," he said wiggling his ass while moving his cock deeper inside of her with every hump and every thrust.

As if they were one, hump for hump and thrust for thrust, in total syncopation, they were together now for however long. She returned his passion with her own. She fucked him as hard as he fucked her. Never had she made love to anyone in the way that she made love to him. Never had she fucked anyone in the way that she fucked him.

"Fuck me Christopher," she said humping him. "Fuck me," she said holding him. "Slam that big, hard cock inside of me," she said wrapping her legs tighter around his strong back. "Hump me SEAL. Fuck me. Fuck me, Christopher, really fuck me. Make me cum, again. I need to cum," she said while giving him plenty of pillow talk.

Fucking him as hard as he was fucking her, she rolled him over. Now sitting on top of him while humping and fucking him, with her big tits bobbing, swaying, and dancing, Christopher reached up to harness her big boobs before she hurt herself with them.

"You're tits are so big," he said. "Your breasts are so firm," he said. "I love your huge knockers, Susan," he said pulling, turning, and twisting her nipples.

She laughed with glee.

"I'm going to cum. I'm going to cum, again, Christopher. You're going to make me cum," she said leaning down to him. "Make me cum."

With her hair hanging down all over his face as if his head was hidden by the blonde camouflage of tall grass that grew as tall as wheat and that had been burned blonde by the hot kiss by the sun, she kissed him. Humping him while kissing him, she continued to be humped while humping him. They were fucking more than they were making love. Taking command of the situation in the way that he always did, it was Christopher's turn to roll her over and fuck her, and he did.

Now fucking her faster and fucking her harder, he slammed his hard cock inside of her. He fucked Susan with all the strength and all the energy that he had. He wanted her to cum. Determined to make her cum, he needed her to cum. Maybe, if he could make her cum, she'd want him. Maybe, if he could make her cum again, she'd never want to be without him. Maybe, if he could make her cum, she'd fall in love with him as much as he had fallen in love with her.

"I'm cumming, Christopher. Oh, God. Oh God, I'm cumming. Yeah, that's it, baby. Right there. Right there. Don't stop. Hump me faster. Hump me harder. Fuck me, Christopher. Fuck me. Fuck me faster. Fuck me fuck me harder. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me," she said.

Totally spent, they collapsed in one another's arms. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever and what seemed like an hour when it was only a few minutes. He kissed her in the way that he had never passionately kissed her or anyone before. Surprisingly, she not only allowed him to kiss her, French kiss her but also, she returned his passion kiss with her passionate kiss.

"That was amazing Susan," he said kissing her again and again while fondling her naked breasts.

She put her fingers to her lips.

"Shh," she said. "Don't ruin the moment by talking."

Her eyes were closed and she looked as if she was sleeping. As if saying the words in her sleep while she was dreaming or sexually fantasizing, she surprised him by what she said next.

"I love you, Christopher."

To be continued...