All Comments on 'Need For Revenge Ch. 01'

You wouldn't get hotel security, or call the cops. You wouldn't go back to the party and yell for help? Instead you just walk into a room where 3 guys, one with a knife, are screwing your new bride?

Unfortunately this is not very well thought out. Way too simplistic and disappointing.

Decent beginning. The circumstances are a bit unreal but there is potential for a great story. Please continue...

1*

good story DHG, looking foward to the next chapter

let alone compete and try to stay healthy. TK U MLJ LV NV

So bad. Hope it gets better.

This is too Rich. An author who routinely deleted ANY negative comments criticising lack of realism claiming personal attacks, suggests that a husband not struggling with 3 armed men in a hotel room and submitting to the 3 thugs because they had a knife to his throat lacks realism? Sorry Mr Hear for taking up your space but this is too much. This isn't the pot calling the kettle black; the pot just took a swipe at the best polished dinner china.

Now for the rest of the story, as for length to me was two short maybe release two chapters at a time together, but I did like it just was starting to get into it when end, oh I hate that crap. Ignore those who want the old fashion just torch the bitch story, instant gradification, is not always the best way to gain revenge, and one wants to insulate on self from going to jail, humbling Mary Ann is the main objective on that front, but I do get the feeling, that old boy is really in love with Katy, just going on my old cop/military Intel analyst instincts could be wrong. Look forward to your twist and turns.

We all know that he will wind up with the wonderful sister who always loved him. DG lacks imagination. This reads like a service manual. Nudesub is right. This is dull and written very blandly.

The story is four chapters. All are submitted. They are all in different categories. Our main character makes mistakes but does his best to rectify them. I hope you stay with the story. It was just too long for a single submission. For those who want to read it all at once, wait a few days and it should all be posted.

DG Hear

1. A TRUE son of the bitch, whose father was a (not true) son of the bitch married a TRUE cheating bitch.

2. To remarry the younger sister of the cheating bitch is not too good idea, if you used in a your earlier story. I agree the more posters.

3. A Monte Cristo project is good for me as a plote plan in a story, but it is difficult to build up well by the writers.

4. Generaly DGHear's story are good, so I do not worry yet, but a sister project is not too good idea. I see the more chapters.

chickenshit of a hubby.

If you read one of them, you read them all. Author has a shocking lack of creativity. Portrays men as weak characters.

Wow, this was completely lame ass story. Sorry I read it.

Will be waiting to see following chapters as DG is one of my favorites.

Crap, nothing but crap, did you write this while sitting on the toilet taking a shit, because you should have wiped your ass with it.

1. The character is not wimp, because he started the divorce next days and he did not give her any possibility for reconcilation after the humiliation (willing sex with 3 men in front of her husband). In the XXI Century to kill everybody in that room by weapon costs 20 years prison, I agree he did not do it, only the problem why did not he leave the room soon when his wife had recognized him in the room?

2. DGH used the sister character 3 months ago in his story as to be the second wife.

If the Author had used the sister character only in his story from 2006, nobody would have murmured at all.

3. The Author can fix the story in the following chapters.

Jerry in Washington state, USA - I've enjoyed several of your stories, so I'll stick around for the next chapter(s). How much I enjoy the entire story depends on how he gets revenge on the men and the wife. I would love that he ends up marrying the sister. One of those wait and see chapters - since your story could obviously go several directions.

Love your writing--thank you. tom anon

Had this happen to me. After she cut off any chance at being romanitc, saying "I don't do that kind of stuff". all she did was keep trying to get to the family 'will' money. Then she goes out and get's herself a new boyfriend less than a week after I told her I was done being soaked for my money even though she made more than me in a stock exchange company, all while I was in the hospital for knee surgery. And she had the nerve to 'sc' the local minister on me ! Last I heard or saw, she's now working on boyfriend # 5. Good riddance and thank God !

Rather than just posting chapters that are to short. Post the story.

this jumps around a lot. He mets mary ann gets her pregant then we learn how they met? um...what?

and who the fuck does not have cell phone that takes pictures?

why didnt he call other folks at the party to come see what his wife was doing ?

why doesnt he tell Mary Ann's arrogant parents that there daughter is whore ?

Give the story a chance. the Name, 'Need For Revenge' means something. To bad some of the readers won't be around to see what happens from here. Not every story is for everyone. Those that don't like my writing could always stop reading them.

I debated about submitting in separate chapters and I thought that 5 or more pages would turn away a lot of readers. You can always wait till the full story is posted. All chapters have been submitted so it only be a few days. Four chapters in all.

Thank you for thse who will be staying around. Your comments are always appreciated.

DG

Come on DG....one page that wasn't even that long its self!!! If your going to write a story then write it and not short change us! We love your stories but come on.....

an author shouldn't feel the need to defend himself to the readers. You write it as you see it. However, if the other chapters are as short as this one, you could easily have split it in 2 or even just left it in one. There a re longer stories on this site that do well.

What the HELL is the matter with you?

Does JPB turn you on?

Where the hell is the DGH that we have trusted and enjoyed?

Very immature and insulting DG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the door, he was given the chance stay or leave! If you're not going to charge into the room swinging, then you leave and call 911, you get hotel security, you go back to the hall and scream your head off saying your wife is being held at knife point and raped!

No, instead our, so called hero, simply calmly, and passively, walks in and watches as 3 guys screw his wife. For the one guy...WHERE DO YOU SEE A BACKBONE HERE? Revenge? For what? The guy sat by and let it happen, he doesn't deserve revenge. He's a guilty as anyone else.

For the read waiting for the next chapters.

Am looking forward to more installments. Thanks.

He knew he did wrong for sitting there and letting it happen. Look, most everyone makes mistakes. Jim will admit it in later chapters. He watched and let it happen. That's why he needs to do something. Hence, the future chapters. Sorry about the length for those who prefer the story all at once.

I know I do but my reading span isn't all that long. You may want to wait till all chapters are posted. Four in all.

Again thank you all for reading and taking the time to comment. I always ty to give you my best. Sometimes it may seem to fall short. By the way, I do like this story.

With respect

DG

you should not have to stop you wife from being a whore. but calling the cops and claim rape would have been fun. cant wait for the rest - a 5 on this one.

a good tale in the works. Thanks

1.I think only 5% of the people does everything well in their all life. The majority of the people make little or bigger mistakes. I can imagine somebody that he forgets use his mobile for foto, when he meets such situation in which he was in this story.

2. The husband heard his wife, she enjoyed the gangbang. So to call 911 or security of the hotel was a dead idea for him.

3. I read some DGH story, where I wanted to stop reading it at the begining, fortunately I did not do it and the story was good at the end. I think is wiser thing to wait for the next chapters for apreciating this story.

4. DGH likes publishing his stories in small parts. Our comments are a punishment for his practice, if the story will be good in the next chapters.

I enjoyed reading chapter 1 and will continue with the story. DG Hear is an excellent writer of such stories and I'm sure to enjoy the remainder of the story as well.

BTW JPB has an excellent revenge story, with his general mistake, he does not write any epiloges. There the husband calls 911 and the police arrested his collegues who was in gangbang with his wife, but the wife tells to the Police she invited them in their house..................This was a prelude for the main revenge only.

I submitted a story which was 8 document pages on my word processor. I thought (mistakenly) that it was long enough for a good chapter. I was wrong because it actually worked out to one 'Lit' page.

Because of that, and because it seems a natural cut off point to the story, I say give the writer a bit of slack.

,

That being said DG, most of us don't blinkt at a 4 page story. And considering how many of us are willing to wade through a nice 8 page SS06, I'd say you slightly misread the audience. But lessons learned. Not sure how many you've submitted, but I'd consolidate the last few chapters if that's possible.

I can see what you are trying to do with the character here between the voyerurism et al. He still isn't very likeable, but I'm willing to see where you go with it.

I am withholding my rating until the story is complete, then will rate each segment with my overall rating!

Wasn't going to read this until it was all posted......made it 16 hours.

All of your stories are great and I've read them all. I can already tell this one will be too because I'm already pissed at the wife. As far as worrying about the length...my new story for this week is uhm...78 pages typed and 12 Lit pages so don't worry about length. You keep writing em and we'll keep readin em.

Be a little more careful not to use "women" when you mean "woman."

And a teaser for a SS06 story bonus! Seems everyone who is anyone gravitates to your stories. It's the place to be!

Even though the protagonist has a real problem with voyeurism. Mary Anne is

a piece of work. In Vinho Veritas?

DG Hear's next installment was tagged as fucking non-erotic so it won't show up as new on the LW section. So those who are looking for a follow up need to go to his page or to NE.

@ FD45 Thank You!

BTW DGH likes publishing his story chapters in more hubs. DGH published the 5 chapters of "A Thousand Bucks Ch. 05" in 4 hubs (Erotic coupling, LW, Mature, and the last 2 chapters in the Romance hubs). I almost stopped reading that story, but fortunately it became a super romantic one. I would have thought he would publish in other hubs the next chapters..................However thank you again!

She is just a low down slut tramp and he's a lot better off with out her.

Now all he has to do is find a way to make all of them pay for what they did.

Thanks for the read

What does he need revenge for ? No one made him a cuckold, it was his decision to just sit there and let it happen.

I would have called the police and said a rape was taking place and gave them the room number that way when they broke it up there would be witnesses

would have also taken pictures and mailed them to her family and friends.

she is nothing but a slut

So sh fucked som buys. Big deal. I wish I could gt my wife to fuck around. It would b hot watching her. I don't get the divorce thing. You had it made with her.

by the carping criticisms that these people named Anonymous can level at good stories by some of our best writers. This story is what it is. If they don't like it, they can go do something else. For one thing, they could try to write a story that they like better, but this site won't approve it if it's signed by Anonymous. I think they should require self-appointed critics to sign their names to their comments.

I thought it was pretty good up to this point. I can't wait to see what happens in the succeeding chapters. It got a five in my judgment. Keep up the good work!

My first response would have been to try to beat the three of them. 2nd would have been to leave and come back with a gun or cleaver and start a blood bath. Those would not have been smart moves but I would have done something instead of sitting down and watch the wife getting screwed by other men. The smart move would have been to take pictures and call the cop.

Why DGH writes this crap when it is so outrageously ridiculous I don't exactly know, but I have suspicion that he thinks it's normal as masturbation, exposure to seeing his mom screwing notwithstanding. Which means that he must be a wife watcher, which is not all that surprising considering his fascination wives and girl friends in all of his stories. There is no other explanation if he's writing to a wife watching audience.

Well written, good plot so far, pulled me in for more.

I Like the Approach he is taking. Think before you act you can get better Revenge after knowing all of the Facts.

Good set-up. Kind of painful reading the cuck/voyeurism scene, but I'm looking forward to future installments.

Do editors also proofread? (I view editing and proofreading as different things.) This needed some editing AND proofreading to make the story better.

walked down the hall,

and pulled the fire alarm!

depending on who is telling and whom is listening, TK U MLJ LV NV

So the wife cheated with old friends and the husband left and filed for divorce. Sounds like a normal scenario. Let's see what happens next...

Let the pain begin -

After living with his mother, why he would marry a flirty party girl is beyond me!

A bit bare bones.

Remind me not to use Estragon as my editor! The first third of the story you just repeated yourself....and grammar is bad. The story concept itself is not too bad and I will try another chapter and try to look past the errors that make it hard to read.

the ending was fucked up not long enough

between needs and wants. TK U MLJ LV NV

"Jim, I'm sorry. It was a mistake, I drank too much. I didn't mean for that to happen."

Like she didn't mean for the dirty dancing to happen, even after he asked her to stop.

I'm so sick of women not letting men come or swallowing cum. It isn't a matter of what it tastes like. You have to develop a taste for coffee, booze, most vegetables. Giving a blow job like eating pussy isn't a matter of what it tastes or smells like, its about doing something loving for someone you love. Unless it is itself something inherently evil, immoral or destructive one can talk oneself into almost anything. You talked yourself into believing swallowing cum or licking a vagina is disgusting, you can talk yourself into believing it is about loving your partner. You want something that's disgusting try changing a toddler's toxic diaper. If you are a loving parent you never consider not doing it.

"...Dad travelled a lot, because he was a truck driver. So I know they both constantly cheated on each other".

Huh? How do you make the leap from him driving a truck for a living to him constantly cheating? Is it a job requirement for a trucker? Granted, I don't know many truckers, but I've never heard one say, "When I was interviewed, my boss asked if I had a licence, ever been arrested and if I cheated on my wife! I lost my damn job because I'm faithful!"

That's like saying; "I know you're cheating, because you have blonde hair!" Or "That guy is cheating on his wife, because he drives a bus!"

I disagree!

What you gave us was too short. Too brief. Too disconnected to be relevant.

"I can't file charges against them. Everyone will know I was raped." – And why is that a problem? Would you rather they know you’re a cheating slut?

@Anonymous 03/04/15 – I don’t have a particular problem with a woman (or a man for that matter!) not wanting a man to cum in their mouth, whether it be the taste, texture or whatever. What puzzles me is why after letting a man cum in their mouth, they then refuse to swallow. If it’s already in the mouth, what does it hurt to swallow it?

I waited to read the whole story, then returned here to comment. The language, actions and plot all dovetail together for a simple working class triangle, no, it's more complecated than that. Trust me, stick wiith it to the end. You won't be sorry. At last a cheaters story that actually leaves you feeling good, maybe cause there's a little love story mixed in with it.

Thanks for the offering.

Two things:

First: Why split the story up the way you did? Why not just put all the pages into one part or group - why split it into 4 parts? It reminds of that old joke: Do you want your pizza cut into 6 or 8 pieces? Answer: Better cut it into 6 pieces, I don't know if I'm hungry enough to eat 8.

Second: When you come into a hotel room and see three guys having sex with your wife, you don't just stand there and watch - knife or no knife. His first thought should have been which guy to hit first, which guy gets kicked in the nuts, which guy gets slammed in the head with the telephone, etc. Grab up some luggage as a shield, make some noise, throw stuff, bite, kick, whatever you have to do. So what if he has a knife? That's your wife, you idiot! So what if he stabs you or cuts you? You can worry about the blood later and besides, chicks dig scars. Even if they stick that knife in your chest, do you think they're gonna continue raping your wife while you lay on the floor bleeding out? The goal is to stop the rape, whatever it takes. Hell, if I saw a woman getting raped that I didn't even know, I'd still fight for her. Jeeze.

And if he's too scared to fight for his wife, why didn't he at least call the police when he left the room? Why didn't he report a rape and attempted murder? The guy inside still has the knife, his wife and rapists are still in the room, let the cops sort it out. He heard his wife tell them to get up and let her go - they said No and told her she was gonna pull a train. Doesn't matter what she did to start it, she wants to leave now - they said No - now it's rape, and the knife means its aggravated. Sticking that 'aggravated' onto a charge is a BIG deal - lots of years in the pound-you-in-the-ass prison. But NO, this guy just leaves her there???

This guy is both cowardly and stupid; regardless of what happens from here on out, there's nobody to root for in this story. He needs to stay single if he has no intention of risking an injury to save his wife. Holy cow. What a wuss, no respect for him whatsoever. Total loser. He's too weak to have a wife.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why in the hell people post shit that ends on a cliff.

WTF is the point? Go post your tired ass nonsense on your feeble face book page.

When she said no, it became rape.

Dumb story. He should have called the police. Seriously?

you miserable pussy, she was having fun with them not raped.

Your voyeristic boy is disgusting! A boy who knows is fucking multiple men would be sick and angry! So he, himself, becomes a wimp!

So far a pathetic tale!

Thank you Captain Obvious.

Good start. Hopefully, it goes somewhere.

That being said, you got to love how DG Hear showed the power of the word 'rape'. Mary Ann obviously didn't get sexual abused - she was a willing participant to her gangbang, and only a truly dishonest moron could claimed otherwise. Yet it did stop a shitload of said morons to come around here and criticized the author about it... even though it's FUCKING OBVIOUS she is crying 'rape' solely to save her marriage

That word, man... makes fools out of a lot of us. Lesson here: taking a female at face value only become she's a female makes you a dumbass, especially when you have visual and audio proof that she's lying. Just saying.

Looking forward to the talk with Kathy. Mary Ann needs to go down hard.

He's pathetic! Watching his mother fuck numerous guys and he gets turned on....REALLY????!!!!

He sat in the room and watched....... not me. I’d have left the room, called the police and reported her being raped.

The plot is about as leaky as a soup sandwich.

I dont think even one sentence wasnt a well worn out cliche which is exactly what expected with this whopper thats in literally every story such as this "At ten the next morning the phone rang. It was Mary Ann. "Jim, how could you just leave me there? I can't believe any man would leave his wife like that. How am I supposed to get home?"

Yeah I stayed until the end but I've read this story 100K times here.

Cuck could have taken pictures

Interesting start for a story. Let's see how it develops. Will the husband get his revenge? And who will be the victim(s)?

BJ

They never spent the night when I was home.

I became a voyeur, watching my mother having sex with other men.

How did he manage that?

Weak, thin and dry with no convos.

Cliched retread.

he's way to weak of a character. And he let them put a knife to his throat and then did nothing about it. Super wimp.

way to scatter brained telling of the story

2nd page is a waste