All Comments on 'Neighborhood Wives: Maddie'

Hot and skillfully written. Stories this long usually feel padded and in need of tightening, but not this one. Can't wait for the sequels.

jay and maddie and most couples that do this stuff are divorced. I'm one. The great sex I had is not even a memory anymore. The loss that I suffered never ends. life sucks!

p.s. let me add for the ass wipe that will tell you to not pay attention to this comment, hey KID, you are thinking with the wrong head.

Very Well Written. Can't help but add that I hope one of your sequels has his wife getting pregnant by another man and giving him a lovechild to raise.

He got to have the feelings of jealousy, heartache and desire all wrapped up in one. I agree with the other poster. Couples that begin like this usually are divorced in a short time.

I don't think I would like my friends very much after that night. They took his fantasy and twisted it until it was someone else's fantasy. You could see the love Maddie had for him when she stayed and got fucked while he is at home probably thinking about divorce (In real life anyway).

But, I am sure that here in fantasy world, she will play with his dick some and everything will be all right.

Your writing skills are great and the story flowed well.

Your writing style reaches out and grabs me. I can't help but wonder why you would stay with someone who takes your fantasy and twists it to the point it is virtually unrecognizable. It almost seems like a conspiracy--especially with the way that they twist their words and promises to literally keep the promise while violating the intent. Everyone seemed to know what was happening but him. Why would you stay with these people?

Keep writing. It's great to read works from people who can develop a plot and convey its heart.

Well written and quite hot but I can't help agree with some of the other posters. Why would you stay with someone that takes your fantasy (and its pretty obvious its a fantasy he didn't want to live out) twists and turns it into something like that. Not only that but troubling for me was that in your story Maddie obviously stays at the sex club even though she is aware her husband has left in some distress not the act of someone who actualy loved her husband at all. Can't help but think that this couple is headed for a nasty divorce. On the plus side its VERY well written and I can't think of another character in a erotic story that I've managed to loath quite as much a Jaqui. I look forward to further chapters ... its going to be interesting what path you take with this.

Like your writing! Seems like this is really all about everyone ganging up on him. It's probably not his drean to spend the night alone while his "wife" is with others.

It will be interesting to see where this goes from here.

Well written and quite enjoyable. Except I found the thought process of Jay and Maddie a little confusing. I had a very hard time following either one throughout the story. Neither one seemed to want to go in a normal direction and I found Maddie must be mad to really stick it to Jay the way she did. There has to be some major turmoil going on in Jay's mind. It is one thing for both parties to agree to swing but for Maddie to jump right in without so much as a discussion with Jay on the subject(after all they were just going to the swing club to observe, weren't they?)is unforgiveable. There has to be some consequence for Maddie's part...and Jaqui's as well. Can't wait for the next installment to see if I can give you a 100 vote.

This was as good a story about swinging that I have read on this site. I understood Jay's quandry as a man myself, having been in a similar sitation at a resort. Jealousy and excitement watching your wife seeking to please you as you watch her act out your favorite fantasy. However, it is hard to believe he was as confused about his wife's fantasies and motivations after his experiences at the the girls night out. After reading the story you have the feeling that Maddie is not exactly truthful about her actions. But, it is obvious that the night at the swing club was liberating for both going forward....the beginnings of true honesty. But, why leave your wife at the club to be used by many others and drive home alone?

Overall excellent story and I look forward to a follow up story.

Eroica

turn the cover the same old b/s.weak hubby and whore wife.when she got home the locks and windows would be change.and her things would be on the lawn.give me some writers with some balls and some realism.fanasy is one thing fanasy and fucking over somebody and say i love you that crazy.both need to go to mental health center.

It is amazing that anyone thought this to be well written. It is a total yawn, from page 1 on, a yawn that is highlighted by the ***** _____ return bar. This necessarilly breaks the thought patern. No aspiring writer should employ this technique.

Apparently this author is so thrilled to see his version in print on the internet that every simple line has been expanded into 2 paragraphs. Should have cut 50 - 75% of this, the same story could have been told, adequately and completely, in 2 pages.

The entire 'loving wives' catagory has me dismayed. Almost every story is the same. Here, the 'author' attempts to demonstrate his writing skills as he develops his version of the same old shit...it's as if he added a violin track to a hard rock song. Imagine 'Satisfaction' with strings.

To any who read this comment, consider this challenge: write a 'loving wives' tale that has a plot line not previously published on Lit. There must be a tale we've not heard before.

He would go home and get his shit and leave. These people are not his friends, and this bitch doesn't love him. If he was a little darker character with a violent past, he'd go back and firebomb their ass and shoot them as they tried to escape the holocaust.

Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out

I thought it was a great story, and I eagerly await the continuation.

You did a terrific job of conveying the husband's mixture of excitement and jealousy, even horror, at what his wife did. Certainly there is a strong sense of impending disaster in their relationship--and it's not even clear whether this is what Maddie (or Jacqui) had in mind all along.

ohio

A well written story. I hope you continue the series as this first installment has already made me a fan of yours.

She wanted to pervert his fantasy and push his "comfort zone?" Anyone buy that? She enjoyed the evening after he left? Sorry, that's not the swinging lifestyle. That's just common, ordinary, mundane screwing around on her husband. The technical aspects of this writer's work are good but I think he believed the plot was more complex, and complete, than it really was. In view of the writing skill shown, the story itself was pretty disappointing. On the bright side, that leaves a lot of room for improvement. Let's hope the writer learns how to tell a story.

Where did she come off with this idea that this was his deepest fantasy and that he really wanted to see it happen. The fact that he leaves rather hurriedly and she stays at a sex club means she must not really honor his love that much. She knows that he never did what she did at the club.

The phone call the next day was a little too much like rubbing his nose in it.

To respond to some comments first. It isn’t being submitted to a publisher. You would engineer the opening section differently if it were. So what? That doesn’t detract from the writing. What is extraneous? In good writing, you release information slowly to build the interest and the tension. That is the complete antithesis of most of what you see on this site: “Thinking back,” followed by the entire history of their relationship. Those things have to come out slowly. And this author didn’t hit us with both barrels until the end.

To the question why would he leave her there? He’s hurt and angry and not feeling loving. He’s been humiliated, emotionally abused by her, his former girlfriend, their neighbors (Mike apparently knew what was going to happen) and his best friend Dan, who clearly knew where this was going and that it might destroy him and the marriage and said not a word. He’s not sure he still loves Maddie. He doesn’t know if he wants to stay married to her. He can’t stand to watch her behavior clearly intended to humiliate him. The real question would have been if he had stayed.

Stories don’t have to have a happy ending to be good. This shouldn’t. The trouble with writing it this way, from his point of view, is that he is the one who gets all the suffering, takes all the pain, doesn’t stand up for himself and he’s the one we’re supposed to identify with. How can we? He’s not disagreeable but he’s weak enough to let things happen that he doesn’t want. He doesn’t tell her what he saw in the club. He doesn’t tell her he saw her with Jacqui. When she says she never cheated, that was cheating and he didn’t confront her. Maddie hasn’t been painted as stupid, so when she asserts that Jacqui isn’t trying to make trouble, he has to know she’s lying but again he doesn’t call her on it.

Now at the club, he finds she was lying when she agreed to his terms. She intended to do this to him all along no matter what he said or did. When he got to the room, she had already cheated twice but said she had followed the rules. The rules were it didn’t go beyond touching without explicit agreement. She didn’t ask for agreement when she fucked Kirk. He saw in her face a look that said she didn’t care what he thought, this was for her and her husband and marriage be damned. If she lost them, no bid deal. Again, he could have said something useful, like, “It is my biggest fantasy, something to fantasize about that I never want to happen.” Then, I’m assuming from her behavior, she would have done it anyway. She would have prodded and pushed and gone ahead without his consent. At least then we would have had enough respect for him identify with him instead of looking at his ineffectuality with sadness and contempt.

So yes, the story did arouse emotions. It just didn’t have a character I cared enough about to get as involved as I could have. You could have had him get aroused and still say it was only a fantasy and he doesn’t want it to happen. What a difference that little change would make.

Where to from here? His former girlfriend Jamie helped spring the humiliation on him, knowing it might be destructive. His friend Mike had an idea what was coming and said nothing. Dan knew what was coming and how it might destroy him and he said nothing. Jacqui helped engineer it and she clearly didn’t care, although I disagree with the commenter below. She was the only character who showed the slightest bit of remorse.

"Jay, I'm sorry, I never meant…"

"Shut up Jacqui. Just shut up. Are you happy? You won."

She actually looked somewhat dismayed at my distraught condition.

As opposed to his wife’s reaction. “I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Even after you left.” She knows how devastating it was to him and she’s still rubbing it in his face. Jamie’s “remorse” is that she wants it to happen again next weekend, like it’s all a joke to her.

Where to? If he doesn’t leave immediately, he will take the free pussy for a while. He’ll take Jacqui to vent his anger. He’ll take Jamie to vent his anger. He’ll take Cindy because he’s angry at the world. And when he has finally expended his anger, what will he have left? A coterie of friends who don’t care what happens to him. A wife who places no value on staying married, who would use the pretext of his fantasy to live out hers: humiliating and betraying him without a scintilla of conscience. There will be no point in continuing the swinging with people he dislikes. There will be no point in staying with a wife who seems to want him around just to have someone to fuck between the really fun times. She certainly couldn’t get that much action as a single mother. She can’t go out every night. As weak as he’s been, I don’t see him staying around to perform that function just to keep her happy and himself in pain. He will try to heal and find someone who will love him and actually care about keeping him from emotional harm.

The one missing piece is how Maddie came to care so little about him. She may actually hate him and be trying to destroy him. But we had no notice and have no inkling about what might have made her this way. He gave us no clue she could be this selfish if her gratification, including humiliating him because she could have gotten the sex just by cheating behind his back, was worth more than caring for and staying together with him.

If there is a sequel where he thinks about it and decided he loves seeing her get fucked, even if it started without a care about how it would hurt him, that would seriously detract from the ambiguity of feelings generated by the story. Then the total result we will have seen will just feel like any other wimp husband get to love constantly being treated with disrespect because he has would up thinking so little of himself that he deserves abusive treatment and, therefore, is gratified by being treated in the way only someone as worthless as him could deserve.

As it stands, it sucks for him and is a very sad story, even though I feel the disappointment he wasn’t strong enough to stand up for himself even just a little. Well done.

It was a well written story, with an interesting plot. But is there any hope for Jay and Maddie. Please provide a follow up, but don't just have Jay agreeing that it was okay and that she can screw anybody she wants. At the same time I am not advocating for instant divorce as some do.

I hope she recognizes her rather major errors, and pays a penance, other than allowing him to screw her new friends and then blissfully carrying on in a swinging relationship.

She owes him big time, but sexual favours are not enough. They need to examine their relationship and if it can continue.

Having said all that, other than I didn't like the way it was left, her message shows that she doesn't understand, it was a good first effort, and I will read more of what you write in the future.

andrewpeters

Poor bastard Jay.To be fucked over by one's wife, best friend,etc is catastrophic. How will he handle it? He is destroyed. He has lost; not only against Jacqui but against the lot. He is alone & they are so smug.

A bit long, but well written.

This is a story of a regular guy in a wild sexual situation. It is probably pretty realistic. This doesn't happen without someone being hurt if husbands and wives really love each other.

Hooterhunter

Awesome story, very well written, with realistic characters. Look forward to more from you in the future.

A sorry sick use of talent to demean a man - a husband who no longer could go home - not erotic - just sick uneasyness and disgust about what the demented writer had preordained to fuck up a husband - his life life and marriage. Erotic "not" even close - just predictable sicko humiliation as a sick demeaning writer intended.

I thought and hoped that the writer created braindead wimp hubbie would leave and throw her things in the yard - but that would have ruined the humiliation of the wimp half man the writer created and foisted off as a human.

Well writer quite a depressing depraved male demeaning debut - just about every sick mind bending deviant base action the braindead weak male could comprehend - oh wait a minute - you forgot the hemungus black cocks - pregnancy and him to pimp her out now to watch her requested gangbangs.

This wasn't erotic or sensual - it was pathetically uncomfortable and as absurdly subhuman as you the sick writer could make a wimp stomach his whore wife and deviant so called friends, so they could fuck his mind up.

You have deep humiliation leanings writer - you must like to be the demeaned wimp - frustratingly unable to act like a man would - does it get you up and creaming on your little fingers.

As the few supporters think about your sick words and plans to disrespect men, marriage and decent people - perhaps you may eventually have some intelligent feedback to dwell on - so far the sicko's are impressed by your disrespect as they need it as jaded as they are.

Too bad you have this bent to shame and debilitate men - are you a woman or just a weak pitiful man who needs to spew disrespect and discomfort???

enough said.

I was impressed with the writing and enjoyed the first couple of pages. I read the whole thing but don't really enjoy stories of pain and betrayal. I prefer trust and sharing. That said, you know how to write.

Thanks.

I cannnot give you a 100 because of a slight flaw, but if this site allowed it, I would give you a 90.

I agree with Anonymous Critic's critique of this story, and I am fascinated how it has triggered in just one day of being posted, three pages of comments.

I think that this genre is clearly one that invokes the most emotion-stirring of any on this website, and your story pushed us to the boundaries of the cliff, fell over, and then left us spellbound wanting to know what the couple will ultimately do.

Are the characters not very likeable? Sure. But does a story need that to be very good? No. Everyone hated JR on Dallas, yet the show fascinated almost the entire country when he got shot. I do not like your temptress (quick note: the spelling of her name changed briefly at one point and needs to be fixed) as a person, but neither did I like Shylock or Professor Moriarty -- that doesn't mean the works that contain those characters are not classics. The husbands all initally seemed like good guys.

Your writing style is wonderful, and I was hard almost the entire story and could not wait to get home to finish reading it. I literally was leaking pre-cum as I drove home, wondering how far you would push the storyline. I have to confess that I was hoping that the husband and wife would pull back from the abyss at the last second, realize that true love was theirs, and go home. Unfortunately, that did not happen, but that also is what made the story so exciting.

I hope, if you decide to revisit these characters, that you will make the husband remember what honor is all about. It is wonderful to have a hot wife, but having self-respect and honor is more important, and I hope your character will realize that. I hope he will be a character who will not shy away from the path of honor and self-respect.

The wife lied to her husband ... not once, not twice, but repeatedly. If there is one thing that must serve as the foundation of any loving relationship, it is trust. The wife betrayed the husband's trust. She revealed herself to be a slut. Even if he was to support her in her swinging lifestyle, how could he ever trust her again for anything--not just sex? Would a person trust a liar to have joint ownership of bank accounts, property, children? A man of honor would divorce her, no matter what the cost, because the wife revealed her true colors. She is selfish, easily manipulated, and dishonest. If the husband does not leave her, he has no self-respect. Perhaps you have designed your character to have such a fatal flaw, but I hope not.

I gave this a one, but I have to admit I gave up reading halfway through page 1, primarily because I am sick to death of stories about huusbands who pester wives to talk about their secret fantasies. 90% of thse stupid fantasy stories end up in divorce of couple because wife gets fed up with fantasy questions and ends having an affair to satisfy husbands fantasy. Please writers find a new plot. the Ct.Yankee

Number one: Instead of the couple realizing their fantasies together slowly, getting used to it together, it was like being plugged into a situation where they had no control. Other people made the decisions, influencing and coercing them into doing things faster and with no regard for their feelings. Even the wife, probably by listening to her friends, traveled farther into the fantasy than the husband wished to venture that night. Please use a story to address these problems, don't just gloss over them.

Nuber 2: Even though this is a fantasy site, the idea that a swingers club would have an "open visitor's night" without using protection is ridiculous. From what I understand of swinger's clubs, the members must have doctor tests regularly and within the club, members are faithful to each other. In this story, not only is there no protection from new members, Jacqui violated rules by having unprotected sex with a stranger in the bathroom in the club.

I think that you write well and I hope that this will not be some "everyone but the husband gets to have fun" story like it is now.

What a waste of time and ability - both if our time and your potential ability. Sorry to see yet another new writer misunderstand the term erotic and his audience. Did you think sickly wimpus and depressingly manipulated equal erotic - no I think you intended to flaunt a base cuckolding in our face adorned with preetty words like wife, friends and family. But when the dirty scuzzy smoke cleared it was depressing disrespect with lies and deceipt flowered with carefully with open jeering baiting loathing of a weak demeaned man who didn't have a heart, mind or a chance of respect with you at the bucket of swile drizzling shit on his life as planned.

Gosh writer - to start with a most disgusting and disrespectful work - I think you thought this might be cutely arousing to the audience - but while we see the waste - the squandering of ability - we wonder why you chose to offend most of us non-sicko's this first time in a disgusting demeaning humiliating way???

You knew but you did it anyway didn't you little sick one!

Our hope is that you choose to reverse course - away from the subhuman base below human convention of a wife triumphantly jeering her man as she fucks the bull cock she wanted while eating his nemisis's pussy - Heart Warming for a deviant sicko.

While Jacqui pushed him and the boundaries, that's the kind of person she was, I think Maddie is the one who orchestrated the situation. I think Maddie knew where she wanted to go and let Jacqui know how best to help her set her husband up. Mike knew what was going to happen and couldn't believe he was letting Maddie go. That's because she had told him, and others, what she wanted and what she was planning. Dan didn't say anything further after warning about his wife even though this guy was supposedly his best friend. If Jacqui had planned it, he would have warned him further to prevent the possible destruction of Jay's marriage at Jacqui's hands. But with Maddie in charge, what was the point of warning? It would happen one way or another. It's one thing to prevent your wife from hurting a friend. It's quite another to try to prevent it when it's his own wife who is determined to make it happen. In addition, Jay would never have believe his wife held him in such contempt without seeing it with his own eyes.

You can also glean that from Jacqui's remorses. If she were hell bent on making it happen, so what if he felt bad. If she were drawn into Maddie's plot and acted on Maddie's assurance that Jay wouldn't be hurt, she would have expressed the remorse she did. Maddie was the instigator.

I must agree with almost all that “by Anonymous in USA-Cruely Manipulative To Humiliate Wimp Man” wrote in his critique. Does he just slide into more of a wimp or face her with his true understanding of what she is really doing. She doesn’t respect or love her husband just the life stile they have and he has proved in the past he’ll acquiesce. She like to play word games to get what she wants, laughing at him all the way. She just wants what trips her trigger and he has always given her anything she wants. Wimp!

Where he goes from here says what kind of a man he is now willing to be. This guy seems to frighten to do more than slide down the pole to the bottom and live in his own miserable life while his wife and all his neighbors laugh at this miserable peccadillo of a wimp.

May be he could wake up and save himself? Doubtful. It would take a good writer to find away for this Guy to become a man with honor and respect.

Your writing is OK, but the situation is not ertoic. She should have just divorced him and screwed whoever she wanted. From his perspective, he has to decide whether he's man or eunuch; if he's a man, he's going to have to leave start over, as he has neither friends, neighbors, nor a wife.

Enough said

Sorry to post again, but I left out the last of my critique. It is that I think you are and will be a good writer and you should write what you want. My words are about what I perceived as a bit of a flaw in showing Jay as a real partner in his marriage. Keep writing many of us are looking forward to your stories even if we might disagree a bit sometimes. You are doing very well.

I quickly packed what i thought i would need. by sunrise i was 400 miles away and on my way to a new life. i knew that both of us had been wrong but it was over. the pain in my belly would take a long time to ease. i was very sure that her friends would see to it that she was ok. there was enought money in the checking and saving accounts to get her across a few months.

good luck maddie i hate me more than i hate what you did.

An excellent story in terms of writing quality - it kept me riveted to my seat.

However, because you said that part of this was true I felt that this story was terrible.

Jay was made a fool again and again. He has these "friends" (Dan, Mike, Cindy) who knew all about the swinger club and betrayed him every step of the way. It was a conspiracy.

First, there was the all girls nights where his wife and the other women carry on like sluts. A slut is someone who acts in a sexually irresponsible manner in secret. Then (probably after Maddie had been seduced by Jacqui to join her plot to trap her husband) Jay is asked to pick up the girls at the nightclub. They knew what Jay would find when he got there. This was a test to see how he would react to this kind of behavior.

Jay passed the first test by allowing his wife to cheat with Jacqui in his presence (i.e., the car ride). Then after years of not sharing her fantasy she tell him her fantasy after getting him to promise to make it happen. Now Cindy comes along with the invitation to the swing club. What is a guy to do!

Now both Jay and Maddie supposely set rules which Maddie breaks in an extreme manner. On the ride to the club Jay is told about the "bull" and his antics with women. They meet amazing enough Jamie and her husband (the bull) and the rest is history. The icing on the cake was Maddie's call to Jay where she says to him essentially "get over it."

When an emotionally stable couple enter the swinging lifestyle it is a decision mutually acceptable to both persons with issues discussed prior to entry. In this case, Jay was tricked, trapped and ultimately humiliated into this lifestyle. But most of the fault resided with him. He could have put a stop to this when Jacqui first started teasing him sexually. With all his talk about honesty both Jay and Maddie proved to be the most dishonest people in the story. At the end of the story we do not know if Jay truly wanted this lifestyle (which would justify his wife's and friends' action - the fool did not know what he wanted) or he did not want his life to go in this direction.

Excellent story and I look forward to your next submission.

SleeplessinMD

NICE STORY BUT WAY TOO LONG. COULD SEE WHAT WAS COMING WHEN THEY ALL WENT TO SWINGERS CLUB. HE SHOULD OF STOPED HER THE NIGHT HE SAW HER AT THE OTHER CLUB ON GIRLS NIGHT OUT.GOOD WRITING AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BUT SHORTER NEXT TIME.

very well written, this story got to me, sad how a wife could take a fanasy twist it around and destory a marriage. The story left me sorry for both Jay and his wife and she went to far and now they have to live with the results

I liked the story, but will like it more when Jay finally comes around. I don't like stories where the couple splits up over sex with others. Rather it becomes a deeply bonding experience. Maybe thats just a fantacy for most but you gotta admit, there are thousands of swingers in this world and actually I just heard recently, the divorce rate among swingers is....no different, same as everybody else. Whats that tell us? Hell if I know. Anyway, keep it cumming.

Well written for a first try. Very complex plot with lots of characters, almost too many to keep track of.

Jay is both sympathetic and weak. He seems like an ordinary guy, just living his life because it is where he wants to be. His wife and friends for all their own individual reasons are ready to push the limits of their lives. Jay has not in the context of the story, given voice to acting out his fantisies,so why does Maddie believe she can shake him up by her actions?

There should be great surprises Remember Jay has two small kids to be concerned about.

While everyone is struggling worrying about everyones betrayal of him there are 2 forgotten victims. In the prologue the author states that Jay and Maddie have 2 kids. As this situation has gone down they will be the biggest loosers.

Interesting to see where it goes. Give Jay his backbone back. He was pushed to beyond his limit here. Now it's time to push back.

Perhaps the most devastating thing to happen to a person is to look inside and find what they have allowed themselves to become. When Maddie realizes that Jay's fantasy was just that and by pushing it into reality and twisting to with her own desires, abetted by the others, and she has truly betrated him her world will crumble. Also as a twist, just because she is a lying bitch it doesn't mean she doesn't love her children, and Jay will have and should use this leverage against her.

Perhaps the reason Jay seems so mild mannered is that he has a problem with his temper. I've known several men who seemed to be doormats until I learned about a history of violence caused by a loss of temper. They had to almost totally subliminate this temper to control it. Now that Jay is hurt beyond belief let him ollse it. Remember " Revenge is a desert best served cold!

Stay Safe

Hal

The poor bastard is married to a world class slut.

He needs to extricate himself from their relationship, leaving her FAR behind.

There must be a woman out there that could be a wife to him instead of a slut.

I'm not sure but that I'd shoot her ass.

How long did he have to wait in the office for the lawyer to draw up the divorce papers? What part of trust, fidelity, and committment does she understand? Obviosly, none. Intrestingly told. Good character definition. Plot had a few delightful twists in it. All around good job. Thanks for sharing it with us.

The next story can go two ways. The normal line is probably his acceptance of the swinging lifestyle. I would like to see him deal with the fact that their lives and relationships have totally changed and how he deals with the impact of his fantasy on his reality and his life. It has scared him and may have destroyed them. Can he deal with refusing to take the next step himself while giving his wife the OK to go but without him (subject to the caveats of no sex until an STD check and ground rules). Can and should their lives as a couple destroy them and their family?I would also like to see Jacqui's destructive and libidinous behaviour punished in some way e.g.like a low level STD from a female partner. Let some reality impinge.

where is the payback.if not do something.

without doubt

write more!!

A definite zero for a piss-poor story. If any of you queer assholes are wondering, I didn't know that I would dislike it before I read some of it. Fuck all you cocksuckers that think my opinion is not as good as yours.

Most erotic, challenging and some what disturbing story of this type I’ve read so far. Leaving me with mixed emotions. Keep up the good work. Waiting with anticipation for the next chapter

remember they have two kids ...i think she gave in to what someone else said he wanted ... he got pushed to far i hope he pushes back hard .. why not show her waht she has lost ...take the two kids and go away for awhile andsee if she really wants him or her new friends...couldnt fuck the bitch for a few months anyway without a rubber after what she did ...whould love to see jacqui say get aids or something ....nothing to harsh just enough so she sees her moortality ...but i would definitely take the kids and most of the money and move out file for divorce on grounds of multiple adultery make her pay child support ... and find some one who knows the difference in a fantasy and fidelity ...he is not a person with out a back bone i dont think i really think he just holds it in wait till he goes off ...the quite ones are the ones to watch

Kick the bitch to the curb, you fucking wimp. Better yet, set her up with a date with Ashton Kutcher.

Wrenching story, very moving. I think that at the end, instead of succombing to Jacqui, he should have shoved her away and left, cementing her "oh my god, what have I done" moment. By rights, Maddie should come home to him either moved out (at least out of the master bedroom) or curled up on the floor in a foetal position.

For those of you who left a thoughtful comment (good or bad) about the story, the characters, or my writing style; a heartfelt "Thank You". And there were quite a few! 45+ public comments and at least that many private e-mails have made my first story here the most commented story in the last 24 hours, the most commented in the last week, and 6th most commented in the last 30 days - not bad for being up less than 24 hours.

For those of you that bashed me as a person (dickless wimp, faggot etc) I can only say "Grow up". It's a story - only a story - not a commentary on my life, my beliefs, or even my fantasies.

I know that the Loving Wives category is a strangely polarized genre; filled equally with readers that love to see unfaithful wives and readers that are disgusted by the idea. The current voting contains just as many 1's as it does 5's (with precious few in the middle). I recognize that this topic is an emotional one for many people and that this story pushes the envelope a little bit....

If you get a chance, please let me know which scenes you liked, which characters you enjoyed (loved/hated in a good way etc). For the record I like the scene where Jacqui exposes Maddie to Mike in the car and I like Jacqui as a character. I'd like to build Jamie a little in future stories - I think she has potential...LOL Your comments will help me develop as an author should I choose to continue this series (likely).

I enjoyed reading the detailed comments on Maddie's intentions, the different ways people thought that she cheated on Jay, and what Jay should do next. I was also intrigued by the comments that Maddie did this intentionally to Jay and that the situation didn't just spiral out of control.

Most comments contain a similar theme; give Jay a backbone. You may be interested to know that the original version of this story had (has) a very different ending. Jay stops things at the "moment of truth"; realizing that it is just a fantasy and not something he wants to see happen. Earlier Jay confronts Maddie about the dance club night and together they define what "cheating" is for their marriage. However, this ending took quite a bit of the edge off of this story and the resulting sex scene at the end lacks the raw emotions of the current version. It also left the character of Jamie "lacking" in my mind.

I may post the original version (modified to give Jamie a little more definition and resolving the battle between Jay and Jacqui) in a few weeks after things have settled down a bit.

As always, your comments, thoughts, criticisms, and ramblings are encouraged and appreciated.

Thanks again for reading my story!

Kicksave & a Beauty

Leave the cunt - throw her out - file divorce papers - etc -you don't seem to get it people - the wimp writer has no intention of allowing the humiliated demeaned wimp husband of his(?) children back into a male bathroom - or his whores cunt - he has been castrated and cauterized into a pitiful shell of a man as the writer intended. You see it excites the writer to see someone like him - frustrated and weak - frozen into shameful inaction by his whore and friends. It's like hero worship of the sickest wimp.

What could be more humiliating and arousing to a gay trended writer - more cocks to watch letting her use him as bait now - beeg one's writer - wow - soon she will have you prep - fluff them up and lick her out - so she will let you suck and lick the stringy cum from thier larger cocks - heaven eh!

Wait for the next chapter or story - this wimp self cuckolding writer will bury himself in pitiful male shame prettily packaging it with frustration and inaction.

Sweet stuff gay pretender - slanderer of real men - perhaps you are a woman? Nah women aren't usually this absurdly sick.

Just for the record oh supreme intelligent writer on high - (bad position cuckster as everything is exposed) it's not just a story as it, with your supporting comments, tell us a lot about you the person(?)and what turns you on - what excites you - the kind of person you are or want to be!

It's going to be reflectively Sad as you will unfold further to us and perhaps to yourself showing a person without self esteem, respect or concern for anyone else but how much attention you can get pissing normal people off - makesya hard eh cuckster.

You have read and planned - poured over the story themes and decided emasculating your sculpted wimp would get the most visceral gut wrenching reaction from us semi-normal readers (man oh man 50 comments - the most ever in the world of sick subhuman wimpdumb). Quite a success wimpster - be proud!

You did your homework on Loving Wives and the emotions you could prey on - shape and twist - humiliate and gut - we are so proud of you cuckster - you operated and found a source of rectal play for your sick mind. So don't say it was just a story as it was a vehicle of dement and pain for you to wildly stir emotions with one hand while getting release by the other.

Such things are short term - you will burn up the sicko's who support you - they will go on to the next sickerer preacher of wimp and frustration. The real semi-normal people will begin to see you as you are cuckster - a sad demented, looking for company, depressing one who can't help using his or her abilities to fill your bag of others anguish piled high with your purpose of demented humiliation and self inflicted pain!

Gosh kinda like a god of cuckdumb you son of a ?

The difference between fantasy and reality is that you don't destroy love, trust and your future with a fantasy. The reality of what was done at the swingers club is entirely different. If the characters in this story are normal people their marriage has no chance of survival. You portrayed them as normal for a while at least so I would have to say they are doomed. He will never be able to live with what she did and she will always want it again.

If they are perverted in their marriage I can see where this would work for them. But, it appeared to me that they really weren't.

That is not a healthy marriage that can move forward with both partners being happy.

Sorry, I just hated this. Frankly I was so upset with what I perceive she is doing to their marriage (it started with the club scenarios she put herself in) that it gave me a horrific headache (and heartache too).

Now in all fairness, your writing was done well and I realize that not everyone has to like the story.

Thank you for your effort.

Charleybear

Not sure where your going from here---or where you came up with the idea that the comments were equally divided... You need to recount-- those commenting by large majority do not feel that this is in any way an equal marriage. This includes several prominent authors on this site. Experience tells me--to be successful, examine how others who are successful do it!

Not sure where your going from here---or where you came up with the idea that the comments were equally divided... You need to recount-- those commenting by large majority do not feel that this is in any way an equal marriage. This includes several prominent authors on this site. Experience tells me--to be successful, examine how others who are successful do it!

Extremely well written. Wonderful, creative story line. Excellent character development. The author is obviously very talented.

Now to the story. It could end right there and be complete, letting the reader ponder over what could have happened thereafter. After all, it is just a story and doesn't have to be tied up with a pretty ribbon.

However, if he continues, the author has a substantial task making it believeable. Jay and Maddie's marriage is in deep trouble. She has lied to her husband, several times. That is the beginning of the dissolution of the marriage unless major steps are taken. Even then, I cannot imagine Jay, as we now know him, ever trusting Maddie again. Marriage is built on trust; with distrust, there is no marriage.

Also, it appears Jay and Maddie are living in a contentious arrangement. She wants to play around outside their marriage, even without his permission, while he has some vague fantasies that are just that, fantasies that he would never choose to live out.

If the author elects to continue this story and keep them together, he will have an interesting challenge to make his readers believe the continued story line. It would be much easier to allow each character, so far developed, continue as they are going, with Jay and Maddie splitting because they obviously are each marching to different drummers. But the rest of the characters are so self-centered it would be difficult to imagine how the continued narration of their lives could capture the reader's imagination for long.

It will be interesting to see the next installment. The author has a daunting challenge to keep from losing his readership.

The writting and the story was great most of the way though, but the ending left me wanting. I need to know what his reaction to her was the next time they spoke. The fact that he was upset enough to leave her there and her ability to stay and enjoy herself after he left, makes me wonder about her love for him. That and the fact that her deepest fantasy was to to ruin his fantasy for him. I would like a couple more pages from here to see what happens. Either way, great writting.

you write so well. it's only sad that it got straight to the inner-most part of my being. i feel so disgusted! shattered! i could not allow it to happen to me. i could not understand why there are people who enjoy this kind of spectacle. i don't even consider it that way...HORRIBLE is the word.

i hope you could do an ending to this. and please give justice to the story. or, could other sensitive authors, please come in and give the needed justice. give the husband the real strong spine to see himself through.

benhur726

Well, I didn't LOVE it actually, but it is really well written, it grabbed at me, couldn't stop reading it. Doesn't seem like you are planning a sequel, from your own comments, which is too bad - it's the sign of a good story that I (and others) seem to want to know what happens now.

I was jerked around by this story - mad and sad all at once, identifying with Jay probably a bit too much... To have this woman he thought loved him take his strongest, most hidden fantasy, yank it out, twist it up into a club and pummel him with it like that... and then to rub his nose in it by telling him that was her greatest fantasy... I mean, her greatest fantasy is to fuck him over? You have to wonder if she sees that at all. She lied to him right and left, did this to him, then leaves him a message saying she loves him, but is really having a great time fucking others without him, despite his obvious pain. That's a sad, sad state of affairs. Since there are kids involved, he can't just up and leave completely, but I can certainly see Maddie coming home to an empty house while he takes a little vacation. But then, what does she think?

Man, I'm still wound up by this story! Great job, but whew!

I agree with charleybear and The Navigator. None of the characters are worthy of admiration.

You (the author) say this doesn't reflect you. Oh? I quote: "For the record I like the scene where Jacqui exposes Maddie to Mike in the car and I like Jacqui as a character." Maybe you mean Jacqui as an emotion evoking character? If so, OK. If you mean as someone worthy of admiration, then you've told us about yourself. She is disgusting.

Maybe the commenter on one story a while back who suggested that these stories weren't so much about brain-dead wives as about brain-dead husbands was right. I've turned away women who offered right in front of my wife. I don't think with my little head. And I sure would pull my wife up short and lay it on the line - me or them, your pick, right here, right now! She'd know I meant it. Why can't authors write about guys who know their own minds and aren't conflicted to the point of mental constipation? Most guys can discern the difference between what they'd like to do in a vacuum where there are no consequences (let's get it on) and what they would actually do in real life where there are consequences (not a chance in hell).

Anyway, thanks for an entertaining read.

Phil

After the way she ripped off his balls, my only question is which emotion motivated her performance. Contempt and hatred would be my thought. She has spent years devising this and she sure wasn't driven by love.

Will he be there when she comes home?

Writers of any type want to get a reaction from their readers. I think you have succeeded with that in this story. I like the basic idea of the story one of discovery and realization for Jay and Maddie. I don't like the how they get there in the story. Jay is used and abused by people he feels are his friends, and by the one person who he should be able to trust the most Maddie. Maddie is used by Jacqui as a tool or weapon in Jacqui’s assault on Jay and his comfort level. This story could have been about the joy and emotional turmoil that Jay and Maddie go through but instead of it leading to a place where Jay and Maddie have a deeper relationship based on trust honesty and freedom. You have it based on deception, lies and anger. When Maddie is being fucked by Kirk and she gives Jay the I'm caught but I don't care look what she's really saying there is I don't love you, you my husband are nothing to me.

You say that this story is equal parts fact and fantasy and because of that statement I am concerned about you. If this is remotely how it really happened then you and your wife have some serious issues to deal with. The other issue I have with the story is how you portray people in the swinging lifestyle. Dan and Jacqui and Jamie and Kirk are pushy rude people who treat a “friend” with contempt and they have no care for what Jay is going through. My wife and I are in the lifestyle and have been very lucky to have never met anyone like your characters. People in the lifestyle would never help someone to twist (your word) their spouse’s fantasy like that. Maddie twists what could have been a wonderful sharing between two loving people into a harmful and abusive thing. I have watched my wife be with another man for the first time…it was a wonderfully exciting experience and it also was a very emotional thing for the both of us. The tender time we took together in the private showers at the club was even more special than seeing her truly enjoy another man.

I do look forward to you continuing the story with the hope that these issues will be addressed and that Maddie can move to a place of love and respect for Jay. If you were thinking about exploring Cindy and Mike or Jacqui and Dan with your next story I hope that Mike and Cindy are about their exploration of Cindy’s need to let lose and you have it come from a place of love and how Mike’s love for Cindy lets her feel safe enough to truly be herself. As for Jacqui and Dan I’d love to see someone twist Jacqui a little, but maybe showing how Dan handles being a cuckold, it does seem that you have made the guys, at least Jay and Dan wimps. Mike and Kirk we don’t know enough about.

Keep writing and I’ll keep reading.

Nefric

Thanks for the post with your feedback. Your thoughtful writing is rarity in this category which usually defaults to a stroke story. I have nothing against swinging sex stories but they belong either in the group sex or erotic coupling category. The willing cuckold (i.e., wimp) stories really seems like a mild form of BDSM which is why they get such a rise out of readers. I usually avoid them by scanning the end of the story.

Jamie does have potential if you write about her as a great judge of character in sexual situations. For example, she can be a sexy "Dr. Ruth" type who help couples realized their sexual potential with each other.

Here is why I thought that Maddie did this intentionally to Jay and that the situation didn't just spiral out of control. First, there was little emotional feedback between Maddie and Jay as the situation developed. Most wives who love their husband can "read" his moods and feelings and respond to changes. As she reached "the moment of truth" I felt that she did not give a damn about Jay and what he was going through (actually Jamie and Jacqui showed more compassion toward him at the clubhouse).

Then you have the new sexual tricks she did with Jay after the girls night out. That is a classic sign of someone cheating in the marriage where the cheater want to train their spouse based upon their experiences with their lover.

At first the mind games between Jacqui and Jay was cute but after the nightclub scene when Jay warned Maddie about Jacqui she blows him off. That seems like she was protecting Jacqqui if not as a lover at least as an ally. When you read the whole story Jacqui did all of the heavy lifting in terms of setting up Jay. Maddie is shown passive with respect to these changes in their sex life and then in the final scene we find that she masterminded the whole scene.

As to spiraling out of control, the only one out of control was Jay as a victim. What did he get out of that night at the clubhouse? He saw his wife pleasured better than he has ever done. If this was his fantasy why didn't he get off on it? Why did he go home alone with only a forced blowjob from Jacqui? His wife of 10 years stayed at the clubhouse to keep getting fucked and left him a message telling him how he should feel about the situation.

Her message implied that she was in control consistent with her waiting for him to show up so she could fuck the "bull". She broke the rules they had set for the night and placed him in the position of denying her pleasure if he did not go along.

In real life, when your spouse leaves you at social function without talking to you first when he or she is upset you just don't leave a message. What if the spouse take his or her life, have an accident or just grab a slut/stud for a fuck (and gets AIDS) as a result of this incident? What would she then tell her kids?

Once again you wrote an excellent story and an excellent start as a writer (dont't let the personal attacks get to you - you got them first). Thanks again!

SleeplessinMD

I took up this issue earlier, but since so many seem to put the blame on Jaqui, including calling her the most evil creature in Loving Wives, I want to make the case that Maddie must have been behind it all.

1. Maddie’s fantasy is very specific. It’s unlikely something that specific would be imposed by someone else.

2. Jacqui likes to push the envelope, to make people uncomfortable, to encourage change. As annoying, manipulative and obnoxious as she can be, there is no evidence that she likes to destroy marriages or create situations for such complete, unexpected humiliation. Add to that her remorse and it looks like Maddie has convinced her that Jay will realize his fantasy goes much farther than he knew and he will be happy with the result. She seems too surprised that it didn’t work out that way for it to have been her idea. She couldn’t have known him well enough to predict that with any kind of confidence. What appears to cloud the issue is that the things Jacqui does are in line with her modus operandi. That makes it look like her doing. I say Maddie understood that and used Jacqui to accomplish her own ends.

3. Mike seemed to know what Maddie was going to do and was stunned that Jay had apparently okayed it. His attitude can’t be reasonably explained by anything other than knowing what she plans.

4. Dan warned him initially but gave him no further warning. He said, “We're friends and I would never do ANYTHING to jeopardize that. I never touched your wife – not that I wouldn't if you didn't mind.” He had to have an idea, even if Jacqui hadn’t confided in him as to what was going to happen, that going to the club risked serious consequences. The only reason I can think of that he failed to warn again, even a mild unspecific warning to protect his friend, suggests that he knows completely what is going to happen. If Jacqui were the mover, after they argued he would have given Jay a warning in order not to jeopardize their friendship. It might not have been about the specifics of what was going to happen, but that Jay would seriously regret going to the club. If Maddie is the mover, Dan can’t do anything to prevent it. Jay won’t believe him over his wife. Even if Dan delays it, Maddie will find a way to do it later. So Dan doesn’t participate, he disappears.

5. Maddie dismisses Jay’s assertion that Jacqui is trying to cause trouble out of hand. Either she trusts Jacqui more than Jay, or she knows the truth and it doesn’t suit her purposes to admit it. This is even more outrageous given that Jay told him about Jacqui’s manipulation at their hot tub, lying, according to both Dan and Maddie, about what Dan was doing with Maddie. At the time of Jay’s assertion, she knew Jay had seen what was going on in the club. We can also infer that Maddie knew Jay had seen her and Jacqui in the back seat. So it’s painfully obvious that Maddie denying that Jacqui is playing games is part of her game. She knows full well and acknowledging it doesn’t fit into her game plan.

6. Even if Maddie had been talked into this, she knows Jay way better than Jacqui. If Jacqui had told her that Jay might walk out in anger at what he saw, but don’t worry, he’ll get over it, Maddie would have recognized the absurdity and unreliability of that assertion. She would not have blithely stayed and she would not have had enough confidence in Jacqui’s understanding of Jay’s personality to tell him, “I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Even after you left.” That’s rubbing his face in it. If she had a scintilla of doubt about Jacqui’s understanding of Jay, and how could she not, she would have feared the possibility that she would lose her marriage and severely damage her children. That’s a staggering risk to take unless you know Jay extremely well, which only Maggie does. Even then the risk is so far out of proportion to the reward that Maggie would have to be virtually certain in order to take it. If she thought Jay could be brought around, taking him in steps would be much more likely to succeed. Like slowly heating the frog in a frying pay so that each change is small enough not to be responded to until it is killed by the heat. From Maggie’s point of view, Jacqui could not possibly have known Jay well enough to be sure this would succeed.

7. Maddie seems to know Jamie and would have known her from Jay’s past. There was no way Jacqui could know that she could be recruited as a resource, but Maddie would. Maddie has met these people in the club before and realized she could enlist Jamie in her plan. That's probably where she developed the new techniques Jay has been enjoying.

8. If this was not Maddie’s fantasy before, when Jacqui was pushing the plan on her, she surely would have recognized at some level that Jay could see this as a complete betrayal and humiliation. How do you convince someone who loves her husband that it’s okay to betray and publicly humiliate him? She would have to have a reaction that she couldn’t possibly do it. That there must be a less destructive way to gain her goal of being able to fuck around to her heart’s content, or swing if that is the goal. Humiliation isn’t necessary to accomplish it and probably is counterproductive. She had to want it. If it was what she wanted to do in the first place, how is this Jacqui’s doing?

9. This essentially was the plan: Let him get clues that you could be dishonest with him and lie about it, deny it. Lie about your reason to get him to the club. Lie about what you’ll do there. Lie that you give a shit what he thinks. Lie to keep him away from you so you can get into position to humiliate him. When he gets there, lie about what you already have done. Then let him know you have lied to him repeatedly. Lie about helping him enjoy his fantasy and turn it on him and humiliate him showing you lied about helping him. Then betray and humiliate him and, if he leaves, don’t worry, he’ll follow you, love you and trust you even though you’ve shown you don’t care about his feelings and feel no need to ever tell him the truth. If Jacqui had told her this was the plan, could she possibly have been stupid enough to believe it? That takes a staggering degree of stupidity. On the other hand, if it was her plan, as stupid as it is, she is so selfish and used to getting what she wants that she could believe her own plan and greater intelligence that the clueless Jay will work, given her understanding of his weak personality.

10. How did Jacqui know Jay’s fantasy unless Maddie told her? At the hot tub, he didn’t want to touch Jacqui and was angry at the idea that Don was touching Maddie. How does Jacqui translate that into a fantasy of seeing someone else fuck Maddie?

11. The description on (Literotica) page 5 of Jacqui’s intuition about Cindy and what might fan the flames between Maddie and Kirk, or anyone available at the time, seem to show it is impossible that she planned this all out. She knew what Maddie planned to do to Jay and instinctively knew how to move it along. But it wouldn’t have taken instinct if she was the one planning and carrying it out.

12. Look at the methodology as a murder. When the victim is stabbed 30 times, the police know it's personal. They look for someone with a big hatred for the victim. Maddie could have cheated and hidden it. She could have tried to get him into the lifestyle. She chose the most violent method. She didn't just not care for him. Indifference wouldn't have moved her to strike at him in the most vicious way. She hates him. Jaqui doesn't know him well enought to have that much hatred. He's been frustrating her moves, but she's winning. She has no reason at all to hate him enough to want to do this to him.

For all of the above reasons, I say Maddie must have been the driving force behind this emotionally abusive treatment of Jay.

good story ,but the plot of you as a writer not showing what he did to her for her betrayal.she was selfish and no regard for her hubby as a man.that excuse at the end was a cop out for her cheating.95% of the men say for her to hit the road.change the locks and have her clothes in the driveway.don't let this deceit guy become a wimp for her betrayal,punish her for her damage to his ego and manhood.can you as a writer relate to that.

What a load of crap. The author or authors could have done better by not posting this story, if that is what you can call it. How can Jay have his so called loving wife humiliate him in fun of his co called friends and the rest of the weirdos. Rather than taking a dish next week, he should take divorce papers and have them served to his loving wife at their meeting. Jay and Maddie made an agreement and Maddie broke that agreement and here marriage vows. Jacqui and Don should meet with a silent and mysterious death. Lets face it, Maddie, Jacqui, Cindy, Mike and Jay's so called first love and her husband set Jay up. In this story, we can only read it and come to the conclusion that all women are BITCHES.

Jay, get out while the getting is good. If you stay with your wife, insist that she be checked for any STD's and DO NOT attend anymore swinging parties.

I have been busted! Someone has finaly gotten into my mind and pulled out what I have realy been thinking about when my wife asks what my true fantasy is!

Watching her with another man but her forcing me to admit it!

thanks this is my favorite story ever!

first of all i thought the entire story was excellent.i at one point i was actually rooting for the guy to do what he finally did do.i hope you write a few more pages to it though you ended it perfect,but........for her to give him this crap that i'm cheating because this is what you wanted.......PLEASE.i hope you write a few more pages in which he ends up kicking her ass out on the street for good.My GOD WHY DO THESE PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE TO KISS AND MAKE UP.......KICK THE BITCH OUT!!!!!!

First of all I'd like to congratulate you on writing what I and many others here think is one of the best debut stories for a long time. Your writing style is excellent and works very well giving a strongly erotic tone without desending in to drivel. Now it seems I'm not in the minority here when I say I did have some problems with the narritive in that large parts of it made little sense and seemed very unrealistic despite the realistic tone of the writing and situational set ups.

I was happy to ready your comments and hope that you have not been discouraged by the negative people here who have their own agendas.

After reading your comments I'd make the following observations. Firstly that your origionl ending idea for the story would have been better as Jay badly needs more backbone. Secondly that Jamie is completely irrelevent and should be disgarded not expanded !I failed to understand or identfy with her at all as she wasn't one of the origionl three couples the story started with and by the time she was introduced the action was thick and fast and she seemed a hinderence rather then a help. Its amazing that while writing one of the best debut stories in years you have also created possibly one of the most evil wife characters ever to grace the pages of Literotica or Asstr or anywhere for that matter in the past 10 years, I really believe that I've never read a story where I got so angry at a character then I did at Maddie in this one and thats a credit to your writing however the problem lies with the fact that the rest of the story did not convince me that it was your intention to make her seem so evil and uncareing but thats certainly the way she has come off. I'm not sure that was your intention but its undoubtedly true given the volume on amount of feedback about Maddie's chracter. Any further stories should proberbly resolve this issue and paint her in the correct light you intended. Now you also have to decide are you writing a swinging lifestyle story ? a cuckhold story ? a cheating wife story ? a wife watching story or a story about a husband and wife and their relationship and sexual life. Once you have decided this then you will have to take the characters in the direction to suit because at the moment its fairly confusing what your trying to get at.

All that said I will thank you for the story as it was certainly the brightest spark in the loving wives forum for some time.

Reminded me a little of the old Parker stories, although it wasn't quite as polished. Jay definitely got topped from below; I agree with many of the comments here that Maddie is the prime mover of all this, even though you did a good job of making Jacqui a red herring.

Nicely vague about whether Maddie was screwing around on Jay during the girls' night out.

A shame that some of the comments are so moronic in nature (cocksucker, faggot, gay, etc)---it sounds like a bunch of ten year-old kids playing phony tough.

I add my congratulations to the others. The plot is outstanding and you manage to convey the feelings and emotions of your characters.

Keep writing

Your story has an interesting beginning. In this story I read it 5 times and come to the conclusion that there is more here that the caharacter Maddie has not disclosed. She didn't do this for Jay and I believe she has been cheating on him the whole time. This mariage is doomed.

THis next chapter should be interesting and how he (Jay) confronts her. In this case I know what I would do, but I think Jay is a clever person and will extract revenge and I sure hope he gets it. The trust is gone in this marriage and the humilation that he suffered was not deserved. Good writing , as one comment stated best story in ten year, well I would say "keep up the good work" Excellent story and tell it your way.

it would be nice for jay to get his own back on the wife.

this is not my fantancy it should of been me infront of the husband and you not you in front of me. lots of gilt from wife becouse hte fantasy was not rearly his.

Best initial submission I have read sofar. The emotions and turmoil of the characters are very, very realistic and a little close to home. Even if this was Jay's fantasy, the way he was slamdunked into it suggests some dark motives from another character or an unresolved issue between Jay and Maddie. I am looking forward to a little creative retribution from Jay. If this really was what Jay wanted, it is certainly a shocked marriage but not necessarily a doomed one.

this woman is evil and not thinking about her family.selfish slut has betray her marriage vows and her hubby.

a complete cum-slut; or was she always one?

Not what you call a loving wife.

It's been over a month now, tell us this guy has some balls and the shit hit the fan? Please get on with the story, It's been to long coming.

this woman is slut she cares nothing for husband or his feelings or children what about s.t.d.'s if this guy's had this many sexual partners.

please finnish this story soon as you have had time to write war and peace get on with it, do not make this guy a wimp PLEASE----

This was a very nteresting story. At first, it looked like it would be a standard, tedious tale; either randy neighbors turn sraight couple into joyful singers, tra-la-la, or wife turns out to be a secret slut and husband is heartbroken, boo-hoo. Instead, it was a long, dark tale of deception and conspiracy, all written with a sense of impact just around the corner. In the end, the husband has to realize that he's lost control of his (sex) life, has a broken relationship with his wife, and that all his friends are more or less co-conspirators in reducing him to a virtual sex slave of the gang of women, led by the slutty neighbor.

It's hard to fathom why the husband can't see the danger of his original intention of exdploring and meeting his wife's fantasies, reardless of consequence. It's like e's unaware that some fantasies are really not meant to be lived; we have dark place in the heart, and not keeping those monsters chained is a very bad plan indeed. So by pushing her (and himself) toward realizing fantasy, he makes himself vulnerable to manipulation, since he will rationalize all sorts of things as "opening her up." And the neighbor woman, who is a well-drawn manipulator and controller, uses the couple's weaknesses (his conservatism and worries, her desire to experience things) to drive them apart and then lead them to where she wants them to go - into the pit of libidinous sex with strangers and friends.

The next error we see the husband make is ignoring the obvious signs of trouble brewing before the crisis. The first danger sign is the exhibitionistic, taunting neighbor, who spends her time pushing their buttons, annoying and alarming him while cozying up to her. Then the "girl's nights out" - it is a cliche that one should worry when one's wife (or husband) comes home late and amorous, but it's got a foundation in truth. The old saying, "I don't care where he gets an appetite, as long as he eats at home" completely misses the risks involved in engaging in extended outside sexual stimulation.

Then he gets a complete view of the truth of the relationships - among the women, his with his wife, and his with the controlling neighbor - when he picks them up. They are stoned, they are drunk, and they are indulging themselves sexually with strangers. He listens to the neighbor having sex in the men's room, sees his wife and the third woman dry humping and kissing on the dance floor, and doesn't appear to realize the import. He jut goes out and waits, a long time, while they do whatever else they are doing. On the way home, his wife engages in lesbian sex in the back seat. We find out that the couple had a "no drugs" agreemnet that the wife broke, and she doesn't apologize. She's stripped off her pants, and is exposed to the third husband by the neighbor. He does nothing.

Later, he finds out that the neighbor, the ringleader of this women's pack, has an open marriage, and that his wife didn't bother to tell him, that in fact she probably never woul have except he's worried about what he knows. Further revelations demonstrate that he has no secrets from the neighbor; his wife has told her intimate secrets and shared sexual photos with both neighbors. He doesn't realize it, but his marriage is over already. His wife has an intimate relationship with the neighbor woman, and is freezing him out of her life.

The setup of the trip to the orgy club again is full of alarm bells he refuses to hear. The third woman plays some sort of game with him as the pivot, convincing him to go and then telling her husband that he convinced her. Apparently the reluctance was fegned to pull the third man in. Nicely written. The way the women push the men into going, the way the neighbor entices and tempts those she's riding with (and then artfully disappears as if she had no interest in what they did), all is done to push the husband further into the corner he's been painted into. He thinks going with a group is safer, and finding other old friends there lulls him into false security. They appear to suport what he wants, what hi wife said she wanted, a platonic look at debauchery. It isn't until he finds that third couple wildly (separately) coupling in the orgy room that he really begins to understand that he has no idae what was intended and that he has no control. He was a fool to trust anyone, since they all had an agenda other than his, even his wife. So he came to the climax (pun unintended) - the neighbor is having sex with her, his friend is waiting to fuck her, and she taunts him - "see, I kept my panties on. What kept you?" That statement makes it all clear - she's NOT here to watch, she's here to have an orgy, and she wants to force him to agree and watch. The neighbor turns up the heat - telling him it's what he wants. His "old friend" makes it clear that she also could not be trusted to honor his intent, only her precise words. They all honored the exact letter of their promises, but violated the spirit in every way possible. Looking into the pit of Hell his life has become, realizing that he has no ally or friend to support him, he surrenders control of his life. And gives the neighbor exactly what she wants. The real question is, what will he do with the rest of his life? He now realizes (I hope) that the women intend for him to be a sexual pawn in whatever game they're playing. He has no wife, no friends, just people manipulating him to enjoy his degradation. Will he walk away? Kill people, and/or himself? Or will he (as I think the author intends) accept the chain of control around his balls and become a slave? The question remains open. If I were writing this, I think the hint near the end would become the conclusion; he realizes the marriage is over and ends it painlessly.

I dd have a couple of practical questions: kids? where were they really? They came and went. And how about STDs? Don't tell me that that group can possibly have up-to-date testing that catches everything. The hapless narrator hasn't been tested, for example. Just a little fantasy-land, I guess.

The most disappointing story I've read on Lit, and I've read and enjoyed hundreds of good stories. This isn't one of them.

Very good erotic story, especialy for a first contribution. But... You promised us more of it saying: "This is the story of Jay and Maddie; the first in a series of intertwined stories about the sexual trials and tribulations of several couples living in a typical American neighbourhood." We'd love to get the rest of the series, so keep your promise after almost 2 years by now.

WOW some people are so stupid, hope the divorce goes well, and rest assured it IS coming. Sooner or later, one of you will get fed up and no one to blame but the husband for being a little kid that can never get enough and never be happy with what he has. Yea I know laugh off this comment now, but in a few years late one night when you are all alone it might come back to you that the crazy ass on literotica was right after all.

It is disappointing when the author gets too lazy to write an extra paragraph to the story to give in conclusion. At the end of the story, we have no idea how things would play out in the future. It is obvious that Maddie should have come with her husband and helped explain things or whatever, even if he stayed alone in some room sorting out his thoughts and emotions, but not while she is getting fucked silly and gang banged.

You need to get a lot of help with your deteriating brain, shit for brains!

This is a standard cuckold story with some twists. Has the standard foretelling of events that make readers cringe. The characters are so unbelievable, who can relate to any one of them?

Thanks! Chapter # 2 please....

This is one of the best stories on Literotica, well ploted well paced and highly charged sexuallity throughout. A favorite of mine and the wife. Hopefully we will see another in the Neighborhood Wives series,write another one, soon!

Can anyone write Chapter 2? JPB...

A long story with a fucked up ending. You could have given the guy the balls to say fuck it and get the hell out, or let him flip the script on his wife and neighbors and be the bull of legend.

long in places, but highly arousing, please continue on

with the next part of their new found swinging lifestyle,

one of the best!

The guy was stupid to let himself be put in that situation... If I found my wife like that, I would have calmly gone out to the car, got the .45 and gone back in... No mercy...

But I think he got manipulated by his wife and Jaquie into what happened at the club. They both knew he was conservative, and even tho it may have (or is) his fantasy, to throw him deep into it like that is very wrong for a wife to do to her husband. Pushing the envelope is one thing, this was ripping it ti shreds.

I think where they go from here would be very interesting. He may go into this lifestyle, but it may not be with his wife any more.

Wow, amazing. First story I've read since I rediscovered the site and its maybe the best I've ever read. Soooo great.

Usually I give writing this good five stars, but four will do because of the incomplete ending. It probably didn't end well & that's why its not a whole story . Maybe the author will finish it one day & it it has this quality to it & a congruent ending, it will be a pleasure to give full marks.

Razor sharp characterizations & description of the women . The men were a bit more of a cipher. But who cares about them? That Jaquie merits her own story - how the hell did she get to be such a unrepentant carnal sybarite?

I recall that a comment about the heroine of my first story compared her (my Laura) to an unnamed woman in this story, Maddie I now understand. While I personally would have slapped the crap out of Jacqui many times as an individual, the story and it's characters were really well drawn. Maddie I completely understand. The phone message at the end be damned, what really happened is Maddie went with every intention of complying with the guidelines she and hubby established but was overtaken by a big dick. The Laura character I created for Always Faithful did the same sort of things Maddie did.

I wish this author had more stories here on Lit. There is so much potential in this one for spin-offs. People accuse me of writing as if for a soap opera, maybe that's so but this could be a multi-season affair. The school teacher and her husband have potential. So does Jay's first love Jamie. I'll bet a good author could even find a sensative side to Jacqui.

I am one of those who enjoy stories with clearly over the top of the mountain sex. Some, many I think, prefer more subtltey. So be it, or to each his own said the farmer as he kissed the cow.

I see a divorce in the works here. She might have made a fantasy come true-but whose was it in the first place? I see that she wrecked her marriage royally, and had no regrets while doing it. She even texted him something of the sort. I hope she's fucking happy-cause divorce is in the works for this marriage.

Don't think he really wanted to live his fantasy. His wife went too far too soon. At best he wasn't ready.

This was a very good reading story, as well as a well written story. Although I would like to see another chapter to it. The ending leaves you hanging. Jays anger over what Maddie had done, and the way she went about it needed to be addressed. Ending this like you did, without tieing up the loose ends leaves me thinking that their marriage was going to be over very very soon.

maddie is a slut on the making if she is Not one already and trying to drag her husband down to het level. She has two small kids and should know better. The husband feel he must keep up with her. Who unearth wants to Ser his wife tucked on front of him by another man. Need a concluding chapter

What a beautifully written story! I was completely encapsulated. My hand never left my lap. I could see myself in Maddie and Cindy ... being secretly erotic and shy, yet responding so vividly to rough sex. If this club exists, I want in! ;) Thank you for a wonderfully erotica experience.