All Comments on 'Neuro Submission Transmitter'

Well-written, vivid and with three-dimensional characters. Very hot!

Very good story line and character development. Well written an "HOT". Please continue writing looking forward to your next submissions.

such a great story best I have read yet please continue with this story and characters

A twist at the end or was Nicole that insecure. But if she zaps him you have no more story to tell or at least from Nick's view point. My opinion and sorry about the bad punctuation

That would be a good tale. Have her struggle with the morality of using the device while enjoying her own kinky situations. With another open ending leading too...

Good, hot story. Wish you would continue it.

One point; usually when using dialogue, each speaker has a different paragraph, that is:

"I like you," she said.

"I like you too," I answered.

Not:

"I like you," she said. "I like you too," I answered.

Don't let it end here. Let Nicole use it and see how she feels with this power and then let her have Nick have the power back. More story lines about Nick's sister and her roommate and possibly some about his sexy teacher.

Charlene

Excellent, I hope you continue this story line. It is very erotic.

Probably one of the best stories I've come across! Actually getting into the emotions of the characters, but without getting bogged down in sentimentality. And covering pretty much all the bases of sexual encounters. I agree with the previous comments: let Nicole experience the power...

This story was so Hot I used up at one battery! Please let Nick get the transmitter back!! Nicole is sooo insecure it's annoying. Nick could fix that ya know and while he's at it he could fix her problem with incest so Nick could continue his relationship with his sister and hopefully start one with his mother.

This is a great story. I loved that it kept going and going, kept getting better and better. But please let Nick have a back up plan. Nicole really needs to be zapped. She is just way too up tight. Bring on a sequal.

I loved it all the way through. Good story, great sex... I don't usually get all the way through the longer stories but I had to keep coming back to this one.

I personally agreed with Nicole that Nick needed to 'come under control' but then I like to think the world will come up with a way to control those who abuse their power.

I look forward to your future submissions.

Fantastic story until Nicole fucked it up. I'm in agreement. He should have a plan B in anticipation of his "jealous" girlfriend. Normally I wouldn't read a story that long, but this was well worth my time. This should win an award.

I'm somewhere in the middle about this. I don't usually like stories this long, but it had an actual story (wow!) and was actually believable (if you buy the concept of the neuro transmitter). The stuff with the salegirls was hot, the sister and her friend was hot, and the mother was INCREDIBLY HOT! However, Nicole was just dead weight. Everytime she rejoined the story, I found myself skimming ahead. I just don't see why Nick was so taken with her. She was so whinny! It's not her physical description - I don't care if she was flat-chested or had the biggest breasts in the story - I just don't see what Nick was supposed to have seen in her. He would have been much better off with his sister, or his mother.

Speaking of which, I find it very hard to believe that Nick would have such reservations about going any further with his mother, but he head first into having sex with his sister with no reservations! He shouldn't have let Nicole make him deprogram his mother. In a story with mind control and neuro transmitters, THAT was the most unbelievable part. The mother and son conversations in the shower were the hottest part of the story - ending this relationship was a big missed opportunity.

And yes, the ending was a big letdown. Very Twilight Zone-ish, but Nicole does not deserve to win. And that's what this is - Nicole wins, and Nick loses. She'll make Nick a total pussy. And Nick was not a "bad guy" - for someone with a neuro transmitter, he had a lot more morals than most people would. Do everyone a favor and write a sequel that gets Nick back in control - it turns out he left himself a letter in case he ever got "controlled" to let him know about everything, he finds his uncle's notes again, something! (and if you do a sequel, go further with the mother)

I can't believe that Nick or his uncle did not build some failsafe protection against the transmitter being used against them. I thought that it was a mistake for Nick to tell her about the device. Now that Nicole has it what prevents an young eighteen old from misusing the device.

This story begs for a part 2. Thanks again!

SleeplessinMD

Excellent story line. Hot. I dont usually read stories this long, but i felt as if i was hooked. I just couldnt stop. Surprise ending there with Nicole. Please continue..what happens next?

I've never read an online story this long! Damn! Well written, interesting, I kept cumming then coming back for more!

Absolutely brilliant. I agree with one of the other comments though, maybe it should be continued with a back up plan for getting the transmitter back and making Nicole forget about it. Anyway... oh to be 18 again and have a girlfriend who loved sex as much as that.

Thank you for a wonderfull story.

that was the best story i have ever read. i loved the way he kept using the transmitter. please let us know what happens next.

This story was fantastic!! it had me cumming over and over and i kept comming back to read more!!HOWEVER, the end was a HUGE letdown!! Nicole shouldn't have "zapped" nick becuase that defeats the whole purpose of the story. The store line was that Nick has this NT that can control people, and he uses it to his advantage. I agree that nicole was extra baggage, and that having her there only complicated things, and I also agree that Nick should have had a back up plan. Awsome story, though. Keep it up!!

PS:

Deffinatly needs a sequal.

This was a fantastic story. The ending made it even better. It is not often you get something suprising in this genre. Good work! I look forward to more.

Incredible. Genius stuff

Although I still feel uncomfortable with the incest element of this story, it was very well written indeed. Its very rare that a long story holds my interest all the way to the finish.

I liked the "happy" ending the way it was, although I'm sure that you could work out a sequel if you really wanted to.

Thanks for writing it.

Great storyline and great scenes but it was harder to read than most stories. You need to stop using tenses that make it feel like were watching it from the outside in. Make us feel like we are in the story. Other than that it was a great story. Also, you should Consider getting and editor.

well written very good story, mom should have been a little more envolved. but hot

Excellent story

One of the best I've read here. Excellent.

Probably the best story I read here. The ending was astounding. I can't wait to see how you work in the second part, but I'm sure it'll be just as good. Well written with no major grammar errors, except for using new paragraphs to start new dialog, and no glaring spelling errors or tense changes that ruins it for so many other stories. It was a well thought-out piece of erotic fiction. The relationship between Nick and Nichole happened a little too rapidly, but the emotion involved was intense enough to make it forgivable. Chalk it up to love at first sight, right? Can't wait to read Part 2, though. Seriously, this should be made into a movie. A porn movie, yes, but it would be better than 98% of the porn movies out there.

Mind control stories really bore me usually. This one is unique for that catagory though. Brain wave transmission receptions...funky science. Very hot, horny tale.

wow i loved your story and the ending was awesome

Plenty of action in this incestual romp. It lost some of its credibility towards the end but all in all just about made it. The use of the 'machine' is just about credible. Don't forget the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. One or two of the feedback entries have worse grammar than you so don't worry too much!

What a great story - I read it start to finish - could be the best I have read here.

Great story line and great prose. Can't wait to read part two.

bookmarked it for my gf. Know she will like it up wishh he had been more evil and puplicly humiliated the women more.

Out-"fucking"-fantastic. One of the very best I've ever read. A great theme with good continuity but enough action to keep me constantly aroused and constantly interested in the next chapter. Some very original thought but with clever insight into multiple differnet relationships. Oyabun1963

very good story, i dont usually read long stories but i found myself hooked to this one.

small point, grammar and spelling was slightly :S. but other than that, well rounded good story :) x

I think the idea was great, while the eroticism just didn't pack enough punch for me.

The idea of being suddenly in control is a pretty well trodden one and this story does a good job bringing the genre into the 21st century. The characters are well thought out and are portrayed consistently. Admittedly there are some minor grammatical problems but they do not detract from the overall enjoyment of this fairly long story.

The sex is described in a matter-of-fact manner that did not appeal to this reader. Very little build-up occurs between encounters and for the most part, the encounters themselves are brief and without subtlety. If more time was taken to adequately describe 'how people felt', then a better connection between characters and reader may have been possible.

Overall though, this is an enjoyable and off-beat way to kill a few hours. :-)

Where can we find great stories like this? I'm serious. I can't find a better one or even one just as good.

Of course, Nicole's first command would be "you don't cum until after I have twice!"

god that is one of the hottest stories i have read on here - well done, kudos, and it definitely had the fingers going!

Bump

The story was great and loved it. Looking forward to the follow on segments.

I wish I had paid more attention in college in my Neuro-Psych class! The sci-fi idea of a neuro-transmitter remote that acted like remote-control instant hypnosis is a great starting point to this wildly sexual story. It's nice to know that Nicole has the moral fiber to get Nick to tone down his use of the unit, and even nicer to know that she learns to love fucking him blind without being told to do it. In its own way, this is turning into a romance story, which is pretty neat. With the amount of head-numbingly intense sex in this story, I can't imagine anyone not loving it. You may be my new favorite author!

Great story until the end and then you fucked it up. I for one don't give a shit about her love for him, she did to him what she didn't want him todo to others and that screwed the whole story up. What a bitch of a way to end a story...

BillyF...

But hated the ending :(

The writer telegraphed the ending when Nick decided to share knowledge of of the transmitter with someone so he could gloat with or over someone about his new abilities. Of course it is pretty stupid to give someone that much power over yourself without ABSOLUTE proof of their loyalty and commitment to you. If Nick was very smart he could have used the transmitter to prevent anyone he allowed to know about it from using it on himself. With more thought, he could have used it to prevent himself from allowing any others to know about it.

<B><I>-- srgeek --</I></B>

HAHA THATS WHAT HE GETS!

VERY H0T STUFF TH0!!!

I really, really liked this story! First and foremost, I loved the idea that somone could effectively use a device to control one's thoughts subconsciously. That'd be a kick ass fantasy for anybody about anything! From a sexual standpoint, this story is every man's dream. Secondly, however, I didn't like the fact that the main character essentially discloses to his girlfriend everything about the device, its use and power, the research and experiements regarding it, and his own liaisons as a result of its use. If I were him, I would have zapped her in a way that she won't ever worry about it, or even think about it! It would have been much hotter had he kept her ignorant of his encounters; she would then never accuse him of being a pervert within his own family! Overall though, it was a VERY good story! Keep it going!

i like the poetic justice of this one. very few have a turn cliff hanger plot twist like that. about the punctuation though its a well written story so fuck it man. i wish more porn out there was that good.

I agree that twist endings are cool, but a negative twist ending out of nowhere is just as bad as pure wish fulfillment with no consequences. A reverse twist ending where he's replaced the earbuds with normal headphones and she zaps herself or something similar would have sufficed, and been an opportunity to add some true introspection to the ending instead of a cheap, horror-esque twist. Even if this was just so you could segue into a sequel, you could have done it better.

great story he should not have let his guard down with the transmitter and her in the same room

Cool Story but Nicole should not get the transmitter!

hey!!!! why didnt he get to do his mom??? you stopped short. i was so eagerly waiting . but still, it was a gr8 story.

Just too good to be true.

Tell me it ain't so Joe.

Not bad but way too fucking long....................

I've been reading literotica stories for years and years. Whether incest/taboo, mind-control, lesbian, group, fetish, interracial, first-time, sci-fi, mature or, occasionally, non-human, this is the first time I've made a comment.

Fantastic job!

Characters have enough depth to invoke an emotional connection and

the sex scenes are varied in type (incest, interracial, group, etc.), length and method of initiation.

I really like how the main character struggles with morality, yet is so obviously flawed.

Also, I read all 55 previous comments and whether positive or negative that 'cliff-hanger' ending sure stirred up the readers. I liked it and I can't wait to read more. I see you are up to 6 or more installments now, I hope they are as good.

B-)

Man this story was just so well written I had to give it a 5/5 but honestly I did not like the ending I wish he had just used the transmitter on his gf and made her forgett every thing about the transmitter and only remember there relationship and make her never notice or be curious about the earbuds. And most importantly I wish he fucked his mom.

Simply great

but you really need to make sure you check spelling and grammar. It doesn't know you mean pummel when you typed pommel, and their, they're, and there are homonyms that spell check considers to be fine. Same with your and you're.

If you had someone proof read and edit it, they missed a few mistakes. Other than that a pretty damned good read.

guys make mistake to tell everything to girl and pay a price for it

This story was beyond 5/5 the whole way until the end. The ending really was a huge turn off after such an arousing read, what a shame!!

If you get something good in your life, some woman will fuck it up "in the name of love." It's still a really great story and I can't wait to read the rest of them.

Really well done. I agree with the others about your skill as a writer. Very well done. I'm taking this as a metaphor for the truth to the saying that our brain is our biggest and most powerful sex organ. Again, well done. I don't know if I will have the energy to read the other chapters. I want to see him fuck his mom. I trust that will happen. Pardon me if he already did, in the last couple of pages. I started to run out of steam. There is always the problem of repitition in these kinds of stories and you may have overdone it some, but still a very skillful job.

I felt bad for Nicole cuz Nick was fucking everything with a vag instead of her but now that she is taking away the transmitter....I guess I don't really know :(

I totally did not see that coming. NOT!

Great story. Really good writing!

I like your stories. Always seems like never wanna finish. Just go ahead.

Pretty sure someone plagiarized your story on stories.xnxx.com. I sent an email to their support people letting them know, but if you want to follow up or something, here's the link.

http://stories.xnxx.com/story/39353/Mind_Control_Machine

Yes, the exact same story on xnxx

I don't know what they're talking about whatever xnxx is, but I really liked this story. Its almost like an x-rated version of an old 'Twilight Zone' episode or Science Fiction story. Nichole's ending of the story is perfect.

Aww man, I really wanted to see him have sex with his mum :\

Gawd, Nicole was such a possessive b*tch! I was waiting for Nick to do his mom but I guess it will come in other chapter(s)? Sis and Sherrie were pretty hot! Some words and phrases got very repetitive btw which I think can't be helped given the length. Thanks as always.

Pretty much turned into a horror story at the end with the jealous and possessive teen age girlfriend getting a hold of the mind control device and erasing his memory of it.

totally off the chart as far as hotness...loved the sexy 3sum...where do i get one of these things...lol

I've read this series many times, I love it, I can't stand how whiney and controlling she is, but I think that's the point. For first time readers, don't worry the story gets even better.

Can't believe I didn't finish my thought lol

the extremes hurt it though

That ending was very bad; ruined what was a fairly decent story.

so well written !!

I recall growing having a similar fantasy involving my fetish .

The argument / conversation with Nick's whanger up

Nicole's cunney is one of the hottest things in this story .

Superbly written tale !!

Cannot wait to read more of this story

zL00py !!

This is just everything although I'm not a fan of Carolyn's involvement but Nick and his mum is hot so is the part with his sister

There are some spots in this story where mother thumb and her daughters take on the job of relief and make a unnecessary mess. This could be avoided by placing dick in a slick sock and after he has blown his wad wipe the dick off and throw on laundry.

One of the best stories here, but I skipped almost all parts involving Nick who/wich (I'm not an English speaker, sorry) is so much boring.

The Best Litterotica Story Yet. Unusual to see the entire story written in the Present Tense, but that gave it a sense of urgency that I enjoyed. And I liked the restraint Nick showed in not fucking his gorgeous and increasingly hot mom, right through the whole chapter. Something to look forward to in chapter 2! Thanx for the great Read.

I found this story quite enjoyable, with faint echoes of John D. MacDonald's novel, The Girl, The Gold Watch, And Everything until the last couple of paragraphs. Nicole's making off with the transmitter is reminiscent of Bonnie Lee swiping the Omar Krepps watch from her lover, Kirby; but unlike Bonnie Lee, it is clear Nicole not only has no intention of giving it back, but that she intends to wipe Nick's memories of it and make it her exclusive tool/weapon. KIrby chose to allow Bonnie Lee to use the watch from time to time because he could see Bonnie Lee had a good heart and great common sense. I wouldn't trust Nicole half as far as I could throw her.

The sexual episodes were realistic, given Nick's being able to tailor them to his preferences, and I commend his concern that his partners find them as enjoyable as he does. But the ending absolutely turns the story to crap. Some people would claim I simply don't like powerful women. That is not true. In this case, what I dislike is an immature woman who already has the power to make boys and men lust after her with the ability to tamper with people's minds, morals, and sexual responses. I do not think she can be trusted with that power, and she has shown she is ready to abuse it.

Sorry, samslam, but I think you tripped and fell on your face right at the finish line this time. The ending is why I can't give this one five stars.

Loved the story ... how exciting to pretend I have the transmitter. Loved the bald pussies, although Nicole's hairy pussy is a turn-on.

Great story, excellent premiss and great writing. But Nicole has to be the most annoying character. What is her purpose aside from nagging the reader and complaining about having small tits? Complete buzzkill. Throughout the rest of the series I skip all her scenes.

4 stars

ending was a bit anti climatic...

anyway the fact that theres more parts and they are ranked even higher give me hope but the fact nicole got the trasmitter so fast is kind of a turn off

Was waiting forever for him to bang his Mon then it ended..What a downer

Where can I get one of those?

I lost count of how many times this story made me cum. Looking forward to reading more of them... another night, because my clit can't take anymore. Thanks for all the orgasams, samslam. This new fangirl is sad to see that you don't seem to still be writing. Whatever will I do when I have creamed my way through all of your stories? Start all over again, I suppose.

Best that I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!

The doctors actually let you play with that NST? Awesome1!

I HAVE TO RATE THIS AT THE VERY TOP LIKE A 10 OF A 1 TO 10 RATING. 5 STAR SHIT YOU KNOW. I'VE EDITED TENS OF THOUSANDS OF EVERYTHING AND ALTHOUGH THIS GETS PRETTY BIZARRE IT'S GREAT. IT'S BETTER THAN GOOD ANYWAY.

A new submission has been made which is essentially your story, but the names have been changed. I request readers of this awesome story to report the copied story, which has been posted here: https://www.literotica.com/s/neural-transmitter-ch-01

Blatant rip off of this story.

one hot story you have done here i really loved it from start to finish fill the my mind with passion

if you got and exter Neuro Submission Transmitter i will take it

Didn't like that Harry had already been with his mom, and had both Nicole and Susan naked masturbating.

Felt a bit like Nick's just getting his uncle's sloppy seconds.

now nicole gets the fucking transmitter and will probably do shit with it and also i hate the fact that she gets so jealous all the time, just saying this from a reader's pov

He should have fucked his mom and sister together.

I liked it. The two concerns I have are (1st) where after he slept with Nicole he let slip of the video/ MP3 and she didn’t react, before they slept together he only mentioned the report and the photos but not the video. (2nd) the ending with Nicole holding the machine. Other then that I thought it was well written.

Thanks for the very imaginative story. Well written