New Life Ch. 06

Perhaps that's why I kissed her. Or maybe it was the booze, but I found my eyes fixed on her mouth as she looked up at me. Before I knew it her face was in my hands and Tarin was up on her tip toes. Eyes closed, lips pursed, waiting for me. But still she let out a gasp when our lips met and my tongue slipped inside her mouth. It was college all over again. My head swam, not like when I kissed Breeze, but I loved her once. The feelings hadn't changed.

"Yeah, so, what was that about," she asked as she pulled away, but her body stayed pressed to mine. "That was not the kiss of a gay man."

"I thought about you a lot when I first went in," I admitted and she smiled a little, pressed her head to my chest as my hand ran down her back. "I had this idea that maybe when I came home that I would do right by you...that maybe being with you would get rid of all those ungodly feelings I'd been having all my life..."

"Being with me wouldn't have changed who you are Neville," she said but still she didn't let me go.

"Yeah I know that now...think I knew it then too but I wasn't ready to accept it. I wanted to be straight so bad but eventually I realized that being with you wasn't going to change that...No matter how much I love you."

"I know Neville, I always knew that," she said and I sucked my teeth. "Ok maybe not always but I knew, why do you think I didn't let myself fall in love with you. No matter how much fun we had, I wasn't the one for you. But I was more than willing to be your play girlfriend to help keep you sane. And get you ready for what you got now...""

"You something else Tay."

"And that's why you love me...now go home before your boo starts getting all pissy."

"You get a pass for that one," I told her and gave her a little shove towards the door. "We should set something up so we can chill."

"Definitely. I'll text you," she said with a wave. That got Bruiser back to his feet and we moved towards the crosswalk. "Hey Nev..."

"Hey Tay?"

"I love you too," she said with a giggle before she disappeared inside.

I was still shaking my head when the signal changed and Bruiser and I made our way across the street. The walk back didn't take us nearly as long. The cool air was sobering and put a little bit of pep in my step. Sure, the ripped honey skinned stud with my name tattooed on his ribs waiting for me helped me as well. His truck was the only thing in the driveway and I wasn't even mad the guys left without saying good bye. They had their own memories to make, in their own space. Right now I just wanted Breeze.

The house was dark when I got inside but I could hear music still and a small smile came to my lips at the scent of lavender and nag champa. He set a mood and I abided it, putting the leash on the hook along with my keys by the door and my shoes on the rack before I headed down the hall. I could hear water running in the bathtub as Brion whistled along to Jill Scott. When I got to the bathroom, I stood in doorway a moment, watching him light candles and pour bath salts. He was only wearing the jock and socks, always socks. My chuckle turned him around and he smiled at me, nodded for me to come inside.

"I thought baths were no good for fresh tattoos," I asked as he pulled off my shirt and tossed it into the hamper.

"It's not for me," he said matter-of-factly as he pushed my sweatpants down. When I stepped out of them, Brion scooped them up to add to the laundry but not before emptying my pockets. My wallet and phone he placed on the counter, my smokes went next to the ashtray on the ledge. I narrowed my eyes at him but all he did was nod at the bathtub so I stripped off my boxers and eased into the tub. "How's the water," he asked before he turned on the jets and I gave him a thumbs up as I lean back, eyes closed. I heard his chuckle, felt his gentle nudge for me to sit up to accomodate him behind me. He sat on the edge, my head rested against his hard abs and I let out a long sigh.

For a while we just sat there, well I sat while he massaged my neck. Gently he helped me stretch my shoulder so I wouldn't be sore in the morning. There were a few kisses, tender caresses but aside from his attire I didn't feel like Brion was trying to get me going. That didn't mean I wasn't rock hard but that was a given when he touched me.

"I had my last session Friday," he said after a while, his voice quiet as he worked his fingers along my scalp. All I could do was moan to let him know I was listening and he laughed a little before he continued. "I learned some stuff about myself that made me realize I probably should have done the whole shrink thing a long time ago. I know I keep saying that you're different but that's not right. You finally being yourself, the man you truly are not the one who you think you need to be to keep me. Dez made me realize that no matter how great I thought it was, my approach to our relationship was fucked up from jump. He told me a long time ago that I should apologize for forcing your first time with me...about how I handled it...but I didn't because it wasn't until recently that I realized how much of a jackass I really am. I was so worried about you taking me that it never occurred to me that you might be worried about the same thing, that sharing that with me was more than just a fuck. Yeah you could have stopped me but I know how you feel about me Neville and I took advantage of that. You know how I am about muthafuckas thinking I'm soft, even you, but I can't be like that if I want to keep you. And I do want to keep you Neville, I want all of you and I want to give you all of me. I can't do that if I'm worried about saving face all the time...Yo you realize I like, never cooked for you before," he asked and I snorted, rested my head on his thigh so I could look up at him. "Like really bruh, I was on my own for years before me and you hooked up. I can cook but I couldn't do that for you because I didn't want you thinking I was some kinda bitch. But it was perfectly fine for you to serve me meals and take my back shots," he said shaking his head as he reached for my cigarettes. Breeze lit one, took a few drags and put it between my lips. "It's my Pops fault. Don't get me wrong I never questioned whether or not he loved me but he wasn't the nurturing kind. 'You need a hug, go ask your mother.'" I'd heard Mac say exactly that countless times growing up but it was more than what I got at home so I never thought anything of it. Apparently neither did Brion until now. "I learned from an early age that tenderness was woman's work and that don't work in this relationship...or any relationship. I mean, we been knowing each other forever. I don't have a good memory without you and the worst years of my life didn't have you in them. I need you Neville and now I know that's okay. I'm no less a man because I want to take care of the man I've loved all my life. Yeah that love is different now but it had been for a long time before I got you back. I know I said this before but I'm in this with you...all the way in. And I'm sorry for taking you for granted back then and before we got here. And I promise that from now on you get the partner you deserve. Feel me?"

I did, it was a lot to take in all at once but I understood where he was coming from and why. I had wanted him for so long that I was willing to accept the fact that our relationship wouldn't be ideal. There would always be a part of him that he held back but that went both ways. There were things that I liked, that I wanted to try, that I kept to myself simply because I wanted to be with him. But that all changed when I almost lost my life. I would have never bought those jocks before or initiated the night we had with Red and Gianni. Even expressing my anger at his sleeping with Crystal probably would have gotten pushed down into that pit in my stomach for fear that he would leave me again. Somewhere in that coma I decided that was not the life I wanted and if Brion couldn't accept me for who I am than he was not the man for me. I had all but expected for us to be over once we moved in together and he saw with his own eyes the difference in me but that didn't happen. We still fit together like we always had and that only made me love him more. Now it seemed Brion had caught up.

"Sure, can I get out now," I teased and he reached to grab one of my nipples but I caught his hand in mine. I kissed both his palms before I laced our fingers together.

"You're an asshole you know that," he said with a chuckle and bit my ear. "But I guess I deserved that huh?"

"Naw not even. It's just that I already knew most of that stuff about you but I'm glad you shared with me. That's all I want Breeze. I love you bud and there ain't much you could do that would change that. I'm not letting you go this time, not without a fight," I said as he nibbled at my neck, his arms tight around my shoulders. "But...ummm...since we're sharing..."

"Mmmhmmm..."

"There's some things I want that I've been a little reluctant to ask for..."

"I've seen all your porn Babyboy," he said with a chuckle and one last kiss to the spot behind my ear that made my balls clench up tight before he moved from behind me. "Imma let you enjoy this for a little bit while I go finish up."

"So I can't get out?"

"Nope," he said with a smirk as he dried himself off. "Wanna beer?"

"I guess," I muttered and he laughed over his shoulder. I was unimpressed, but he returned quick enough with my drink that I didn't complain. I guess it was on my face because Brion rolled his eyes.

"Fine, you can get out...after you finish..."

"Trying to keep me off you," I asked half in the bottle and Brion's lips spread into a grin. "Why you ain't just say that?"

"I practiced earlier so I shouldn't be long," he said and I narrowed my eyes at him. "You'll see. I'll open the door when I'm ready for you," he added before dipping off into the hall.

I waited for the door to close before I got out and dried off, quietly escaping to the backyard with a towel wrapped around my waist in the hopes of pecking into the sliding doors. But of course the blinds were closed. There was the vague sound of low bassy music coming from the bedroom but that was the only hint I could discern. Dejected, I headed back inside to find Bruiser snoring in his new bed. With nothing else to do, I flopped down on the couch with the remote. Half of a classic football game later, I heard the bedroom door creak open.

"Come and get it," he called out and I jumped up from the couch to do his bidding.

I barreled into the bedroom already at half mast, the towel over my shoulder, ready to pounce but froze died in my tracks at the scene before me. "I saw the rest of what you brought home from that store downtown." he said, kneeling with spread knees on the bed. His back to the door, his ass and bare feet hanging over the edge. But it wasn't his posture that stopped me. It was the bulldog harness wrapped around his muscled back. The heavy leather jock that accentuated the slope of his ass. And then there was the blindfold, bondage cuffs on his wrists and ankle. It wasn't until I unglued my feet from the carpet that I noticed the vinyl sheet on the bed and the base of a plug nestled between his cheeks. "Figured I'd do some shopping too. I hope you don't mind."

"Damn Breeze...just...wow," I stammered and he laughed, flexed his scapular muscles ever so slightly as he rocked himself backward. "This is just...All this for me?"

"For us," he said and shift his head towards the sound of my voice because there was no way he could see me through the heavy leather goggles. "You're my man Nev and it's not fair that I never gave you what you needed because I was too scared to give up that power. Even if I can't deny how turned on I get when you get that look in your eye. The bass in your voice. It does something to me that I can't explain and I can't keep that from you anymore. And I shouldn't be afraid of it. You're mine and I want to be yours."

It was nothing I expected. Granted he'd done dirty things for me before. A strip tease here or there. Waking me up in the middle of the night, sitting on my chest while he jerked off and fingered his ass but never had he given himself to me like this. The sloppy blowjob earlier was a surprise but I was too distracted by his tattoo to appreciate it fully but now, with his body oiled and hole primed and ready, I couldn't help but take a moment to admire his presentation. My dick was hard against my stomach, my balls drawn up tight but I wasn't in any rush to cum. I wanted to enjoy this, more importantly, I wanted him to enjoy it.

"You sure about this bud," I asked as I moved to stand behind him. That's when I saw the long rectangular paddle and a low growl rumbled up from my chest. It was black leather with red stitching and recessed stars that I hoped might leave an imprint. "This might get rough..."

"Then I guess I better pick a good safe word," he said with a smirk as he lowered his chest to the bed and tipped his ass up in the air. "Touch me," he moaned, rearing back towards me but I stepped away.

"That's not how this works, boy," I told him as I scooped up the paddle, smiled at his caught breath when I tapped the handle against his plug. "You said you giving yourself to me but I'm not so sure you know what that means..."

"Fuck nigga you think I'd get this far if I wasn't sure!" That's not the response I was looking for and I let him know with a few quick swats with the paddle. The whimper that came with those slaps, the goosebumps that rose up along his back. "Yes, sir. I'm sure," he moaned and I could have shot my load right then but I held on, pulled him up by the harness to put him back in his original position.

"Mmmm...yes, sir," I repeated as I ran the edge of the paddle down the cleft of his ass. "I like the sound of that. Like the sound of this too," I said, delivering another swat with the paddle before I stepped away to marvel at his posture again. And take note of all the new toys in our arsenal. Aside from the plugs on the nightstand, the paddle, and his attire, there was a new restraint system secured to the bed. His cuffs had a short length of chain with small lightweight carabiner clips attached to them, along with multiple d-ring attachments. His jock had a few of the latter as well, one on each side, front and back, which would allow me to restrain him in almost any position. "And you said I had a busy morning," I said, eliciting a throaty giggle from him that quickly turned to moans as I ran my hand along his chest and stomach to cup his package. "Was there a big white dude at the counter...crew-cut, salt and pepper beard..."

"Clark? Yeah, why," he asked, arching his back to rest his head on my chest as I continued my tactile exploration of his body.

"Because I lingered for a while near this," I said of the studded leather jock. It had a breakaway pouch that I couldn't stop myself from yanking away and came with a detachable ring that he wasn't wearing. "You missing something though."

"G said I should hold off...something about sensory overload," he said with a chuckle as I ran my nose along the base of his neck. "But if you want me..."

"Well it's too late now," I said, running my callused fingers along his hardness as I pressed mine against his back. "What else did you and G talk about while I was gone," I asked, stepping away from him again, elictiing a quiet whimper that made me snicker as I crept around to the other side of the bed. His side.

"It was mostly Colin," he admitted quietly. His head down, shoulders slumped, I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. "He filled in what the videos don't show..."

"You're gonna need to be more specific," I said and Brion whipped his head around as I grabbed the front of the harness to yank him forward so he was on all fours. "I think we need to pause a minute and talk about this," I whispered against his lips and he smiled as I slowly worked the goggles off. "Especially after everything you said. You don't want me to treat you like a bitch, then you can't dress like one," I said smirking as I kneel down across from him.

Brion laughed at that as he rubbed his palms over his eyes a moment and settled back against his heels, matching my posture. "I realized a while ago it's not the same," he said reaching to take my hand. "You remember our first time..."

"How could I forget," I said and he laughed, leaned across the bed to kiss me.

"You have no idea what watching you and Red did to me that morning," he said with a smirk and I shrugged my shoulders. "Seeing you be so assertive, even the night before, and then we got into that little scuffle and my dick was hard as soon as you charged me..."

"You mean after you swung on me..."

"Ehhh, I meant to miss," he said and kissed my palm, put my hand on his face. "I think I wanted all this then, for you to take me but once we got started, I froze up..."

"You saw my dick," I said with a chuckle and he laughed, reached to take it into his fist. "It's scary at first glance, I know."

"Damn right it is but that didn't stop me from wanting it...needing it...needing you, and I never felt like this before," he said and I couldn't hold my grin. "I was married and I never felt this desire to...to please before. And not just in here but out in the world, and that's what scares me. I don't want to fuck this up Nev. Not again."

"I don't need you to play the leather boy for me to be happy Breeze," I told him and he rolled his eyes. "I'm serious bud. I'm more than satisfied with what we have..."

"But since we both want it," he said with smirking shrug as his raised up on his knee. "Let's play red light, green light," he said, as he slowly raised his hands to the blindfold. As Brion shuffled towards me he said, "Would you rather ask or me tell you?"

"Either one."

"Can I ask for things," he asked, head cocked to the side, "subtly" flexing his abs. His fingertips rested on the blindfold, Brion licked his lips and slowly raised his eyes to me.

"Can I call you pretty boy," was my answer and his nostrils flared a little, but only for a moment before he held out his fist.

"Fuck it, why not?"

"And that don't mean I have to say yes," I reminded him as I bump my fist against his and moved to lean against the headboard.

"Then consider me yours to use," he said with a smirk as he pulled the blindfold down.

"I hope you don't regret that later," I said and watch Brion swallow whatever snarky comeback that came to mind. "Turn around pretty boy...let me see that ass..."

"Wow, out the gate huh," he muttered under his breath as he made his way onto all fours.

"Shut the fuck up and turn around!"

"Yes sir," he said quietly, head down as he shimmied back towards me. I helped him along with an arm around his thighs to yank him back the rest of the way. Brion drop his chest to the mattress on his own, filling my vision with his muscled ass. And the plug that lay between those cheeks.

"Mmm I forgot about this," I said absently and gave the latex circle a flick with my middle finger, forcing a moan from Breeze. "How long you had this working?"

"Since before the girls left..." He began but I stopped him with a flick to his balls.

"Specifics pretty boy," I reminded him over his answering grunt and he reared his hips back, gripped the sheets. "When did you put it in?"

"When we came inside to clean up...before me and Red got online...that specific enough," he moaned as I flicked my tongue against his balls, his cock firm in my grasp.

"Mmmhmm but watch that sass," I told him as I gripped the base of the plug. "I think it's time we move up a pace," I said, slowly working the toy out only to shove it back in. It only took two more strokes for Breeze to join in, fucking himself on the slender toy. It had less girth than my two middle fingers, but an inch longer so it probably barely grazed his prostate. He'd been wearing it long enough that it produced a momentary gape that made my mouth water and I didn't deny myself the pleasure of feeling him close around my tongue. With my hand still slow stroking his cock, I gave Brion the tongue lashing that he loved so much. That I loved so much. And all the while I sucked his pucker and stroked his cock, my free hand rifled through the top draw of my nightstand in search of lube. My hand found a tiny glass bottle first, making me pause with my tongue buried deep in his hole. That didn't stop Breeze from bouncing his ass back against my face, an action I stopped with my teeth on his left cheek. "Yeah, you ready..."