All Comments on 'Night at Office with the New Intern'

Great story. An office romance is always good. I hope you have a some future stories planned.

Good premise.

But you really need an editor. For example, twice you wrote PEAK (like the top of a mountain) when you meant PEEK (sneak looks at).

And your dialog is kind of stilted.

But mostly, the sex happened too fast. Not that it started too fast, but when it started it progressed too fast, and ended too fast. Needs more details.

When he's about to eat her pussy, why not some discussion about how it looks. She could have asked, or he could have volunteered it. And how did it smell? Did he like the smell? She could have asked if he did. The same for taste. And more teasing before going in head first (pun intended).

And the blow job. Why does it progress so fast? Why no discussion about how hard he feels? How does like the way she's playing with his cock? Should she do something different? Harder? Softer? Faster? Slower, all before the cock gets past her lips. Should she slow down or does he want to cum right away?

Could have been a winner. Wasn't.

Three stars.

Read about 6 paragraphs.....got bored and skipped to the end.....try something original because this ante it.