All Comments on 'No'

Wow

Hard to believe there are actual people like this is the world. Low-lifes and cheatees who steal and tear families apart. Gamn.

Five Stars

Dope story, Mr. Apple. Look forward to your next. Randi.

That was an excellent story. Thank you for sharing your talent.

This was a nice idea for a story line. Interesting and entertaining. My only complaint would be that the ending doesn't cover all the bases. What does Ava do, what happened to the partner and will they REALLY take Jasmine in??? Inquiring minds want to know.

Wow!!!! Original, compelling and well-written. Fantastic ending!!!

.

Ignore the critics who'll scream about Jasmine and the family's reconciliation with her! 5+/5!!!

Every now and then, we get to read as truly beautifully designed story. This is one. In this short story, It has it all, betrayal, sadness, deception, compassion, happiness, and most importantly, forgiveness. Another chapter may not be forthcoming but it would be able to satisfy some of us as to what happened to the new "half" sisters, and what happened to the conniving bitch of an ex wife. We already know that Alisha and Dave live happily ever after. 5/5 stars for this different but well conceived story... Thank you and keep up the good work.

Great stuff! You packed a lot into this short story.

Very good story. Thanks

Does anybody have any idea What the story is about? It's impossible to follow

I would've told that it was a good story until. . .You went the stereotypical route of the "white" savior, saving a black woman from the stereotypical cartoonish overly aggresive and abusive black man.

Man this shit and the interracial story with black men is starting to get on my nerve.

But other than that it's not bad.

It gets a 2 Star from me just for the ditasteful racial stereotype.

Tightly written compelling piece of melodrama. Nicely done. Thanks

I enjoyed this! Would love to see a sequel where Ava loses anything she has left and we learn that the man she cheated with is ruined as well. She was honestly too evil for words!

These plot line has been used before, with a lot more meat on the bones than what you have here.

Awesome. Really Really awesome

Shouldn’t have given it a 5, but the raw emotion of the ending overwhelmed me. The beginning was confusing, jumping back and forth between names, trying to learn characters on the fly.

what a great story !!!! keep writing !

Love the bit of redemption at the end. Turned an otherwise unremarkable story into a great one.

Great story, I liked it. 5

This was quite good. Nice use of the theme, good ending.

JA another outstanding story. 5*, sure could have been expanded more, but everything said in one page. Great job!

Very good. Nice reconciliation with the daughter at the end.

I loved this. Awesome story. Very unique plot, well told and I felt the emotions. Great ending. KEEP WRITING!!!

5* easily. 5* plus!

WOW! Powerful!

Holy shit - that was an amazing story! Incredible creativity demonstrated on every level. Sorry to continue gushing, but that was the BEST single page story I've ever read on this site! 5+*

Beautiful.

The ending got me.

Thank you jamesapple.

My friend, THAT was a powerful little story.

And even using fictional characters, it does more to promote racial harmony than all the lectures, diatribes and pontificating by our betters.

At some point, we all need each other.

And that lengthy title is pretty catchy, too.

Wow, I really enjoyed this. A lot of story and a lot of emotion packed into one page. Well done. 5 stars.

Excellent! A really very successful story. I was able to find myself in the situation and really felt the feelings that were swinging here. That is pure humanity!

The threats of murder and egregious violence was…ridiculous. The threat of blackmail was head- shakingly stupid and it was the only thing you had.

You could have written a story about how a 13 year old girl was brainwashed into hating her father, you could have written about redemption; but no: you went for stupid.

I wish I had never read this tripe.

"because they had to buy him out, Ava here went into the account -- after all, they weren't divorced yet, so the joint account was still in her name -- and took out all the money, putting it into an overseas account." - Wait, what? The money they paid him for his share of the company was put into their joint account, that she still had access to? How did a man so stupid as to not open his own account manage to build a successful company?

\

"Can you imagine the impact on an IPO were it to be made public how the owner of the company was so incompetent that he lost his original company?: - What a dumb slut! Doesn't she realize that it'll come out that he lost his business not because of his incompetence, but because of his ex-wife's treachery?

\

"We can take everything from him...AGAIN." - How can she take everything? At the MOST she MIGHT be able to depress the IPO price, MAYBE hurt his reputation, but HER actions will also come to light, including reneging on her blackmail.

\

Nice finish with his adopted daughter bringing his daughter into the fold.

Really good story. Ava is too over-the-top evil. But, the rest of the story was enough for a 5*.

That was extraordinarily good! Thank you for sharing that! It was perfect.

Wow, great story. Loved the ending.

Pretty good for a flash story.

Very good story.

Nice! Ava was evil but Jasmine can be redeemed.

Wow, short but meaningful. 5*

Top notch. Thanks.

I'm generally don't enjoy short stories like this but this was very good.

original -- I like original. 5*

You hit it out of the park! 5 stars

This was a nice story.

Write more, please!

Too little story. but a decent snap shot.

this was the first flash story I actually liked.

Just great!! Well written and with enough teeth to make things interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Is there a category for redemption? This one should be there and receiving 5 stars constantly. Jasmine's self realization was a pleasure to behold. I will be looking for the authors work.

I thought this was great.

Bloody hell. That was absolutely perfect.

Damn. This was good.

Absolutely brilliant story. Would love a continuation though just to see if Jasmine is saved.

Damn good flash story.

A lot was packed in a one page story.

Well done!

This was one of the best I've read for a while now. Full marks!

More

Good Stuff

That was excellent, what a good short story, hardly a wasted word. Thank you

Beautiful. Will we get to hear the rest of the story after, "I wouldn't have...God, you fucked up my life." That one statement says so much more that you need to finish it.

Terrific story, really beautiful. Made you a favorite because of this one story. My fingers are crossed that future stories will be 1/2 as good. Thanks you for this one!

Well done.

Enough said.

Just “YES!”

5 strong *****

Really great story. There was so much there that it seemed much longer than it actually was. Ava has a place already on LW’s list of stone cold bitches. You have a winner here.

Thank you for sharing your story.

5

Can’t help myself, but….

Harryin VA really exposes himself as the imbecile he his with his declaration that he has no idea what the story is about. Must have an IQ less than room temp 😎

And how in the HELL did D_Great_Knightmaire come up with a RACIAL aspect to this story? That comment made Harry look brilliant!

Sigh…..

Nice twist on popular theme. Well done

Fantastic

RSKY

VERY GOOD, HOPE TO SEE MORE IN THE NEAR FUTURE! Thank you! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

Very nicely done!

That was really really good thank you.

Short, but to the point.

Sometimes, the shorter the better ^^

Great story. Character shows. 5 stars, The Bear approves. Keep writing.

The BEAR

A great deal said in not so many words. That was a very good short. Thank you

Well done ! Thanks

Wow! I wasn't expecting that; so extremely poignant. What a great and unexpected ending. Repentance is an act, it literally means, "to turn away from". Jasmine gave back the ONE thing she'd been raised to value most: money. It proves she regrets the things she'd done, it proves she should be given a second chance. Alisha, proving she'd been raised by good parents, offered her that chance. Well done. Great story. 5 stars all day long. Thanks for posting.

OK, that was good. You got a complimentary comment out of Laptopwriter and Randi. Those are pretty rare. You know you did good. Keep going. I don't care for Kalimaxos, so I skipped the first two, but this was good. 5 stars for a short but complete story. RPL

I want to know more about Jasmine, but this story is complete without including that. Great tale of good, broken people rescuing each other, and bad people making the misery they deserve.

Good story. Well written, the ex was just way over the top, as in evil for no other reason than to be evil (LW is NOT what real world wives are like, though according to many of the dip shits yes they are).

I'll be honest the whole "We will continue to fuck and you can remain in a loveless marriage or we divorce and we get the company" was kinda stupid. There was no point in her offering those choices other than to say "LOOK CUCKOLD STUFF HERE, CUCKOLD STUFF HERE!!!" Because, in all reality, the divorce would have been the route the wife would have gone for before even bringing it up to her husband. So the premise actually falls through the floor in a big way. Still well written but the foundation for this could have, and should have, been much better.

Just wow. Thanks for sharing the story with us.

Great story. Took me a while to get who was who since Julia became Jasmine. I almost gave up reading it, but glad I didn't.

Exceptional. This is what I wade through all the garbage to find. Thanks for the story.

" Yes ", it was a very good story, maybe the best flash story on this site. Congrats!

@Harryin VA, if you seriously can't figure out this out, maybe he should go back to Mother Goose.

\

As to D_Great_Knightmaire, I assume he was referring to this line: "his pale hands contrasting with the deep dark color of her skin." My goodness, how DARE a white man rescue a Black woman! Better that he left her to her own devices?

Excellent. Just sorry five stars is the most to award.

Well played.

Very well played.

Well done. Concise yet we get a great feel for the characters. Winner.

Makes up for a lot of the sludge that's been coming out lately

Jamesapple, this isn’t a bad story and for the most part you got good comments. I rate it a 4 !

@D_GREAT_KNIGHTMAIRE. Would you be so good as to show us just where you saw race even hinted at in this story? Like so many of your buddies, I suspect you see a racist behind every tree when in fact the only time you spot a racist is when you shave.

JA keep up the good work. CD

Be very careful if you use your kids as a weapon against your spouse. When the truth come out that weapon will be aimed at you.

Great story, stupid,stupid,hateful piece of self serving shit. Thank god the other daughter gets a chance at a real relationship and well rounded life away from the poisonous whore.

****Good read thanks for sharing. Something with a different twist.

Outstanding. Simply outstanding. I would give it 6 stars.

lol yeah 26 i actually did a double take there lol went and looked for the pages but only one i was like damn wht lol. very cool take on the theme indeed enjoyed it ty for the read

Wow good....very good 5*

What a great tale. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Damn! That's a five!

Excellent!

Absolutely a 5. An ending worthy of carvohi. This new author had already given us one of the two best sequels to "Just Once..." (the other was Ringil), but this takes him up to a whole new level. Eager to see what he does next.

and can one use it to an advantage. TK U MLJ LV NV

Excellent!

It's crazy how easily a mother can mess up theirs children's relationship with their father. Mine manipulated me into pulling away from my father and taking her side when she divorced him while he was traveling for work making extra money so her lifestyle wouldn't degrade any. He ending up worth more than any other man she ever attempted to attract and was my best friend for the last 15 year or so of his life. She only married him for the easy life he could provide for her and wanted out when he had a run of bad luck.

My mother and some exes of mine are my reason for reading these stories. The more BTB the better

At best, the daughter would have lunch bought for her, but sent packing after it was over. So, No, their would be no redemption for either one.

Great story, well worth 5/5

Great story!

5