by Gilmuriel
Premise has been done many times, but never so hotly as this. I want more! And more! (and more…)
However, the orgy part was confusing. You had too much going on at once, within a single paragraph, even. Your timimg was akward. It didn't seem natural. The dialogue sucked. But damn it was hot.
That was fucking hot, liked all the lesbian action.
But i also thought too much was going on at once, and it was confusing. paragraphs would be helpful. and the ending with the girl deciding she was a lesbian was a bit unrealistic. but overall liked the content...sounds like something that happened to me once...the sleepover.
this was a great story. i would love 2 see more from this author : )