All Comments on 'No One Got Hurt'

Wat

Thats what you get bitch

Well, that was a delightful, uplifting little story to start a day with.

This could have had potential but sadly failed dramatically

someone always gets hurt from betrayal

Beyond stupid

I hope we're not expected to sympathise with her ....

🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 ...

_ _ This story could have been much better. Expanding on several points would have made this tale closer to complete; although it may have been difficult in a first person account of what occurred.

_ _ Keep trying!

She couldn't why the situation went to shit. Said it was nothing, but after 50+ years, the stupid whore was cheating on her husband. Before he shot himself, her husband should have beaten her severely. He was going to shoot himself anyway. Then maybe she'd have understood!

SLUT, go to hell, go to hell with your lover

You have not had a happy life i think - have you?

First, I do NOT want to read about some 70 year old fucking. And if John killed himself because she cheated, then fuck him. And fuck you too.

The most disappointing thing bud that it started off well but within a few short paragraphs, you drive it into the ground like a missile.

Don’t fucking write another goddamn word.

Could have been quicker if told by Olaf the Snowman:

John and Narrator happy

Narrator works for Dan

Dans wife - DEAD

Narrator has bedtimes with Dan

Dan sick

CONFRONTATION

John - DEAD

Dan - DEAD

Narrator is taken away by those nice young men in their clean white coats to the funny farm...

You know, since you were clearly going for speed

That was a totally useless story. If you have any more of these, please don't publish them!

How long do u have to keep giving us this crap?

Not erotic, not LW....gosh what a waste of my time, just plain aweful

JJ

That was a kick planted squarely in the balls. But that’s what you meant for it to be. And you said it well. Actions have consequences. Suicide, though? Come on John, you can do better than that. You really have nothing else of value to live for? That’s something you’d expect from a teenager. Brings to mind the lyrics from Paul Simon’s ‘Slip Sliding Away’. “...Delores, I live in fear, My love for you’s so overpowering I’m afraid that I might disappear.” I’m almost as upset with him as with her. Really, this reads like the plot of a Shakespearean tragedy or an Italian tragic opera libretto. Over the top melodrama. Thanks for the story.

It could have been a lot better but failed. Good base for a story that someone else could run with. There are several like this where a wife helps out a friend using sex and the husbands reaction is BTB or close to it. Him killing himself was stupid and I don't think realistic. To me him killing Dan or the wife would be more realistic. Maybe somehow making her feel the pain in a divorce or violence (which I am not for but I could see happening). But to shoot himself I don't see.

Short and not very sweet.

Needed more of everything, character development, story development, basically any kind of development.

To maintain a readers interest the story has to contain characters that a reader can invest their time in, be they good or bad. The good ones get a happy ending the bad ones get their comeuppance, it is a fantasy world after all.

Here, as the author made no great effort in the characters why should we care about the outcome.

Only this authors second submission so hopefully the stories will improve.

Wretched. She should have given herself up as a sex slave as punishment.

BUT... I love it!!!

Short, to the point and with no twists.

Yes, it is not happy little story, like: if he suck cum out of her stretched asshole, and she made him a cuck, then many of you would love, if it went by the above way, but we all have to live with a loss, and so are those cuck assholes.

Good man was heart broken, and he did him-self in, because he couldn't live with peace of shit wife.

PS: for all you others... google how many people kill them-self every day?

Again: Well Done!!! 5

just a dumb reaction from John and after all those years of wedded bliss, no real story here. Changing from Dan to Danny was dumb as well.

What a depressing story. Bah humbug...

Compelling

If she had lied, her husband would still be alive. So, one has to lie when one is cheating, even for a good cause.

A bit sparse but enjoyable tale thanks for writing

Not a decent human in this story. Another vignette of the sordid sex lives of people in their 70s and 80s.

Married 52 years.. assuming 22 at marriage makes her 74. Boss was established accountant so likely in his 80s.

Strange behavior... then one day he pulled my panties off... uhmm, ok.

how was hubby able to fabricate a sign so quickly?

Dumb hubby should have waited. Dan likely left wife a fortune. She would be dead soon and hubby would get it all.

Now it all just goes to the state.

KB

Suicide is never an answer. Divorce the stupid bitch and live a good life. Leave her in the poor house. Horrible story.

1 star

well written with base in reality. Sad but good.

No one, and I mean NO ONE would do what John did without already being deeply emotionally disturbed. And that kind of emoiional disturbance would be evident in a variety of ways.

Also, what caused 'John' to be suspicious in only the last year? Why then, and not before? If his and his wife's reltionship was so emotionally intimate, why didn't he talk to her about whatever was making him suspicious? This story is pretty implausible -- even for fantasy fiction! 1*

Not very many people will respond positively to a story like this, but judging from the comments I’d say the point was well made. I enjoyed the story and I understand very well the how and why of such things from the technical and creative side. Thanks for sharing and keep doing what you love.

NO ONE GOT HURT really i wonder what they thinking when they say such

Because sometimes, this is what happens. We always want the good guy to come out on top here, but unfortunately some people just break. It’s hard to judge him, when we really know very little about his inner makeup.

but everything went down the drain after her refusal to go with her husband... After that the writer didn't know how to end it...

Why would you want to write this?

No stars

I would recommend altering the “years together” so as to adjust the likely age of the characters. Although it’s not impossible, it definitely seems improbable that a bunch of 70+ yr olds would be acting in such a manner. To have been married 52 years we’re talking folks still working at 70 with an “older” boss who must be what 75...80 sexually harassing his younger 70 yr old employee.

I feel dumber for having suffered through this.

This “story” has no theme, no purpose, and above all, no storyline. Drivel!

No winners here!

I don't know which is worse; the story, or all the anonymous, BTB arseholes whining because the husband killed himself, and not her.

This reads like some kind of scenario created to prompt discussion in a psychology class:

What do you think prompted the husband to kill himself? Do you think killing himself was meant to end his own pain or inflict pain on the wife? How might the wife had handled the revelation in a way that would have been more subtle, less confrontational? What medications do you think might be prescribed to help the wife cope with this ordeal?

There's nothing in this story that involves much imagination or suspense, just a report of how the discovery of adultery affected the people involved.

Obviously the wife and husband didn't really know each other very well. She thought the sex was a compassionate but meaningless gesture, and the husband thought it made his life not worth living. That's a pretty wide discrepancy in view point. I suspect, to the extent they might, they both wish they had handled things differently. Maybe you could have fleshed out the thinking and inner turmoil before you blew everything up? Might have been interesting to better understand both of these whack jobs.

Thanks for the effort.

This story isn't about the woman herself, it's about her attitude of the value of her marriage, her husband's value to her, her mistake of thinking a small (one day a month) affair not being hurtful to her disrespected spouse. I'm reminded of the movie line, "What am I, chopped liver?" Her husband should have caught them together and shot the guy then the woman. He could claim temporary insanity. (Or like my neighbor who moved here to recuperate from an ex-spouse shooting her in the ass as she banged her new lover.)

A waste of time to read this drivel

No One Got Hurt every one gets hurt one someone is cheating. Cheater's all ways say it hoping to believe it true, But it's not.

Worst story I’ve ever read shows the author is some God crazed fool

What an odd, depressing story. Hope that feels better to let that one out.

You’re writing to an audience, most of whom have an agenda, and if you don’t shoehorn your story into the narrow parameters of what they find satisfying, or should I say satiating, then woe on you from the critics. Can you imagine what they’d do with William Styron or Andre Dubus? This story is classic tragedy born of stupidity and selfishness, every bit like the plot of ‘House of Sand and Fog’. I’m not saying I want a steady diet of this - but it’s certainly valid subject matter. This type of shocking story, in some iteration - suicide, murder/suicide, or murder - is all too common, and needs to be told. I hope the feedback you’ve received doesn’t scare you away from submitting more work. Thanks again.

I agree that the story was short but a lot was conveyed in this one page. It's like fired bananas.....something to cleanse the palate between meatier stories

You're in my prayers we are not perfect we are only human we can only try and be good too self and others as best as we can

Just how many long marriages have these unsolved affairs that never come to light or many decades later or after the passing of one. When it does it may even more destructive than finding out as it’s happening. I would imagine that like in this case he took stock in over 50 years of marriage and to him it’s all a lie . You would second guess every single aspect of you time together. Even so why kill your self

Massive respect to you and other women like you out there. There were plenty of other ways of helping a depressed man without breaking your wedding vows but chose to let go of your vows to help the other man. Nothing but respect for you. And a glowing star for the author.

Sex isn't something to die for. Especially some one at that age in life.

So funny 😮😃😆🤣... Had to stop right there 🛑.

You do irony very, very well 😉.

Rating shows commentariat doesn't have a sense of humor ‼️

I'm

AMerryman

One thing in your story remains unexplained to me, why he shoots himself in a sudden moment, but still has so much time to write a note. Why is he paying with his life for their mistakes? It really doesn't make sense. The old wise saying is "the best revenge is to continue living well"!

Make no mistake and don’t try to sugarcoat it YOU killed him just as if YOU yourself put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger !!! Don’t try to Bullshit anyone YOU knew that Spooning would not pass the married wife test and to allow penetration just push you over the edge. The to make it even 100 times worse YOU became the monthly whore and YOU knew it was wrong each and every time !!! No I don’t feel sorry for you and I don’t buy that bleeding heart “Caring” bullshit that YOU so conveniently kept your husband in the dark about giving up the pussy to someone else !!!

YOU may have that brain tumor but I really wish you a LONG and MISERABLE LIFE !!! 🖕🖕

John should have told his wife he would go on to Florida and set up a house and she could come on down after she finished with Dan. Then John could take all the money and move somewhere else to live without his wife. This is only after John kicks Dan in the nuts about a dozen times!

I really don't see the need for him to take his own life. Just get up and move to FLA without her. Let her stay with dying Dan. Take all the money you can etc. Let her fight in court to get it back.

That was horrible in all facets

Tried this a second time, and it was wrong on so many levels.

It certainly wasnt very good, and I dont see exactly what you were hoping to achieve with this story. I mean beyond having the mouth breathers cheer on the wife having a mental break and never dating again in her despair.

What were you thinking! I agree with the other comments - this story is very wrong. I'm sorry to write this critique, I usually try to stay positive!

So sad I try not to hate the sincerest hate the sin.we had neighbors that the wife had an affair for years and the husband found out at his retirement party and had a heart attack. In the hospital he wouldn't let his wife inand after finding out he wouldn't allow his 1 daughter in. The other 4 children were allowed. They had purchased a home in Arizona for the winter's of retirement. After he healed he filed for divorce and when it was finalized he bought another house local to be around the children and grandchildren he also went to Arizona when bad weather hit. When there were family and regular gatherings he would attend and really enjoy. The wife's lover boss had a heart attack but didn't survive. It was said that she broke it off when her husband found out. The second year before he left for Arizona he asked his ex wife if she would like to go and she said she would love to go.

Your story, "The Price" got me to re-read your other works. They are as good as I recall. This one is another good short flash tale. You told a lot in this one page story. Very nice. Thank-you. I hope you keep writing more.

-

Pasqual

Why kill himself? Just leave her and never talk to her again. That would be a more lasting punishment. I hate when men punish themselves in LW like living alone for the rest of their lives. Go live a full and happy life just without the cheater. Men of his age are in great demand. He wouldn't be alone for long.

Husband is an idiot story no woman is worth killing yourself for. Someone else maybe.

Well, that was cheerful!!

Fuck the bitch, she deserves no prayers!

shoot her, not yourself. in the end the same for you but at least she is dead.

OK, sure, why not? If that is what floats his boat, or in this case, sinks it. Since he's not around to enjoy the wife's grief, how would he know or care? She could fuck Danny till Danny's last days and then inherit all his money. Who the fuck needs a loser who kills himself over some dumb shit whore? Even the whore is smarter than that.

All emotion and no brains. Still, thanks for the effort.

That sucked.

Wow, what an upbeat story…..NOT!!

Ain't no cure for stupid!!!

Stupid story, 1/5

suicides dont get heaven and they shouldnt, All suicides go to hell

I find the comments here interesting. Was this an "erotic" story, not so much... Was this a believable story, YES. Have you ever been in the husband's shoes? I have. The only thing that got me through the first months were burying myself in my work, my time I spent with the guys as a volunteer firefighter, and my 2 young boys. This guy just retired, sold his house and stuff, was going to basically be starting a new life with his wife as the only part of his old life staying. If he had suspicion of her, he probably thought "what's wrong with me, or why am I not enough?". She was trying to justify as "helping an friend" and she "got nothing out of it". This story was true to life and told from an "after the fact" point of view. Good job.

Some of the comments said this was a stupid story. Well, I lived almost the same experience. 47 years married, all faithful years for both of us. I got advanced prostate cancer, hormone treatments and radiation. The treatments resulted in chemical castration, I slipped into a depression and began treatment. To make a long story short, the wife wanted to play with someone else and did. One night when she was “ allegedly” at her monthly bunko game. I had several drinks of Jack Daniels, went in the bathroom got my 9mm, looked in the mirror and put it against my head. I stared in the mirror with the gun to my head, for some reason I started thinking about my grand children and I put the gun down and locked it up. My wife has given up her playing and I am still hanging on. It was not a stupid story.

Dark, but realistic. You are improving as an writer.

Really, really poor.

Maybe better to shoot her? Or the other man?

was'nt much of a story as much as a description of an event...a dumb shit blowing his brains out instead of hers. If your your intent is to die,be smart and vengeful about it. let the courts do it after you. put the bullet in her head. But then I cannot ever understand suicide anyway,never solves the problem that instigated the intent in the first place.

Yayyy! Tumors are good!

Sad tale, but after 50 years you would think that she had more respect for her husband and smart enough to know that John would not be pleased. In the end she had to live with that she caused him to eat his gun and had to live with that guilt till her death.

I love this story, I’ve been married 48 and I think I would do the exact same thing.

Thank you for writing and sharing. I appreciate it.

Hmmm, I guess I don't really understand John's decision to immediately kill himself. To me that is a sign of unhealthy co-dependency and it doesn't fit with him wondering whether his is wife was having an affair. I've been married 37 years: we are very close, but in the same situation I would be devastated, probably leave forever, but I have too much to live for individually to kill myself.

Beyond belief that any grown woman could trot out the "No one got hurt" line to justify her actions.

" One day I went and put my arms around him kissed him."....right there after 50 odd years of marriage she should have known she just failed the "husband" test....never mind when it got to the "panties off and penis in" game,

Was it somehow supposed to be excused as trivial by her husband because she (allegedly) got nothing out of it?

No woman is worth killing yourself over. I think I would have probably really hurt Dan to the point of crippling him and I would somehow torment the wife so much maybe SHE would want kill herself.

I think a decent old fashion "hit and run" in the dark with no witness would work.

Awful

Her tumor is no excuse for her treachery, the EFFIN slut.

What a fucking horrible story

Shit happens.

Instead of killing himself John should have just completed the Florida move by himself and set about comforting some of the wealthy widows in the area. When the wife showed up she would be so pleased to find out what an ministering angel she was married to.

That was not only the worst story I've ever read that had to be the dumbest store I've ever read

I think she made a mistake in telling her husband about her affair!

4

Everyone n this story is totally fucked up. D

To dark.

Words were written. The FMC was a horrible person. She deserved pain. Pain happened. The end. 1*

Not likly, and disgusting to bring God into the ending. This is place for exotic stories not religious crap

John should have moved without her and felt sorry for another women and had meaningless sex to show his wife what its like when the shoe is on the other foot so to speak. l mean it woud'nt hurt anyone who cares eh.

Suicide is the ultimate response to cheating. Nothing says "fuck you slut" like shooing yourself in the head! 10 stars to writer. Buster2U

Shocking! But, that's the point, right? I enjoyed it.