No Party Like The Citadel Party Ch. 01

Not so long ago, Jane Shepard was furious. Her life has been nothing but a mess recently. Between Reapers invading the Galaxy, Cerberus going against everyone, and the recent crisis with her clone, she had enough. So when she finally got time for well-deserved rest, she wanted to throw a slow, quiet party in opposition to all she experienced lately. To her shock, while all her girlfriends agreed that it was the best idea, her male squadmates had other opinions. "We have to blow some steam!," they said. "We're hitting the clubs!" Even Garrus, despite being in blowing relationships with Jane, preferred to go with the boys instead of staying with his partner. And as no one planned to yield, both groups went their separate ways.

Seeing how furious Jane was, Liara offered her help with preparing the party. So when Shepard put on her dress and got to Anderson's apartment, Liara, Samantha, and EDI were already there, and everything was already set: the decoration, the snacks, everything was perfect. Seeing that, the commander became less angry and awarded Liara with a smile, hug, and kiss on the cheek. Not so long after her, the rest of the guests arrived as well: Ashley, Tali, Miranda, Jack, Samara, and Kasumi; doctor Chakwas sadly couldn't make it due to a medical emergency, and Gabriella Daniels was asked to provide engineering expertise by some important party. Jane was quite surprised that she was the only one in civilian attire, as all other women wore their battle uniforms, but it ceased to bother her pretty soon: she wanted to feel different today, but if others didn't, it was on them.

The party was without a doubt successful, and after a few hours, Shepard's anger evaporated completely. Since college, she hadn't thrown or attended any single-gender party, and just now she realized that she missed that. Without the boys, the girls could be fully themselves, and Jane felt like a teenager again and remembered all the sleepovers and such with her high school friends. The women talked, ate, laughed, danced, and played together like the best friends they practically were; even Miranda and Jack suspended their mutual mistrust and decided to let it go for the evening. EDI took over the bar and prepared delicious drinks, and soon everyone was slightly dazed from the alcohol, although it only added a positive vibe to the mix.

"There is only one thing missing at this party," said Samantha, when all the women sat together for some snacks again. "The party game!"

"You're right, Sam," Shepard couldn't agree more. "Maybe some old-fashioned truth or dare, what do you think?"

"In favor!" Tali was as enthusiastic as ever. "But what's it? What're the rules?"

"It's simple," explained Ashley. "Someone spins the bottle, and whoever it lands on must declare if they want to tell the truth or do the dare. If the former, the one who spun asks the other any question they want, which must be answered truthfully. In the latter, the one who spun dares the other to do something, and they must do it. Next, the challenged person spins the bottle, and the whole process is repeated. At least this is the way I've always played it."

"And every truth revealed and dare completed must stay between those who play it," reminded Kasumi, playfully looking at others suspiciously. "So, everyone's ready and willing to play?" asked the thief, and every other woman confirmed.

"As I'm the commander of this crew, I should be the first to spin," said Shepard, recovering one of the empty bottles from EDI, while Liara turned Glyph's recording capabilities off and the rest cleaned made some room for all women to sit in the circle. As no one objected to her idea, Jane put a bottle on the floor and gave it a hard spin. It was spinning for several seconds, and when it stopped, the neck pointed toward Tali. "So, Tali, truth or dare?"

"I'll start with the truth," Tali answered. Her young age and quarian physiology made her one of the most dazed because of all the alcohol (many of which got to her organism through the emergency induction port that night) and was ready to get a dare, but decided to play it smoothly.

"Ok, then," said Jane and decided to be delicate for now. "What will be the first thing you will do after you take off your suit? Because the geth are still working inside, right? Stimulate your organism to build up its immunity system?"

"Correct, and the results are promising," the quarian confirmed. "But what will I do first? Attending the orgy?" she asked playfully and all the other women laughed. "But more seriously, I think I will go to the beach. To feel the sun on my face, the sand under my feet, and the water all over my skin... It will be something beautiful." Tali got a little dreamy but soon recovered. "So, it's my turn to spin the bottle now, right?," she asked and when confirmed, did as she said. The one the bottle pointed out was Liara.

"Liara, truth or dare?" the quarian asked. "Truth," the asari answered.

"Of course it's a truth for you, the all-grown big-ass Information Broker." Some women were surprised to hear such words from Tali, but she could be a little vulgar after the alcohol. "But when we met, you were an archeologist, so my question is: what was the funniest or the weirdest thing you've ever dug up from the ground?"

Liara smiled. "Well, archeology isn't the most funny profession out there, though maybe a little weird indeed. Let me think... Oh, I know! Once I dug up a prothean disk, but it wasn't active and I couldn't turn it on. I kept it though, not even knowing why, and even forgot about it. But when we recovered Javik and his device, it reminded me of my souvenir. So I got it to our Prothean and it turned out that my disk contains the prothean equivalent... of a porno vid! Of course, it works quite differently for them, as thanks to their sensory abilities they can really... experience their porn. I think it met the criteria of funny and/or weird?"

"Yep, 100 percent.," Tali confirmed. "Do you still have it?"

"No," Liara smiled and blinked. "I left it with Javik, maybe the man would be having a good time with it," she said, and everyone laughed. "My turn, I spin and ask: truth or dare?"

The bottle spun for a few seconds, and when it stopped, it pointed toward EDI - she declared a truth, as such was a pattern organics followed for the time being. For a moment Liara was puzzled about what to ask the AI about, but finally came to a viable conclusion.

"EDI, as an AI you have a very logical mind, and can calculate the answer to the questions organics can't because of emotions, personal preferences, and such. So tell us, who among us is the most attractive woman?"

EDI's answers came almost immediately - her processor was too fast for her to spend a noticeable amount of time calculating the answer. "All of you. All of you are unique and have some qualities which make you amazingly attractive. Commander Shepard is a hero, and almost everyone digs that. If not, they would favor Jack or Miss Goto - our crew's bad girls. If they are looking for geeks - and I mean it in a positive context - admiral Tali'Zorah, Dr T'Soni, and specialist Traynor would be the most attractive. Lieutenant Commander Williams and justicar Samara are great and devoted warriors - many people like strong women - and Miss Lawson has both a perfect look and a keen mind. To summarize, all of you are beautiful physically and spiritually."

Hearing it, everyone blushed slightly, and it was Shepard who shook herself off first. "Wow, speaking for anyone, thank you EDI for a compliment. You're not so bad yourself, even before you got a sexy mech body," she said. "But enough for that, spin the bottle!"

When EDI did it, it spun for the longest time thanks to her artificial strength. When it stopped, the neck pointed toward Samantha. "Truth," the communication specialist said thinking about the challenging and probable slightly spicy question that will be asked with AI's attractive voice.

"Shepard asked me to answer objectively on this question, and I'm asking you for a subjective perspective. Who on the Normandy, you would want to have sex with the most?"

"Well, the most I'd like to have sex with your voice, EDI, as I believe already said." answered Samantha boldly, but the blush on her face betrayed her. "But I assume you ask about someone tangible. Maybe it would be a surprise, but no one here." Few brews were raised when their owners heard that. "Don't get me wrong. As EDI said, you're all very attractive. But, hell, you're Shepard's squad! Normandy's battle crew! For us - common mortals - you're sometimes more of the gods than humans... Oh, sorry, people."

"Let me interrupt you here," Ashley said. "You know it's not true, right? We make mistakes. God knows how many of them I did in my life."

"Yeah, you're as amazing as we are, Sam," added Jack. "If not you, I and my students in Grissom Academy would have been in Cerberus' custody now. I don't even want to think about what they would do to us to drag us onto their side and turn us into their phantoms."

"And as I heard, I could be dead without you on the Normandy," Miranda delved into the discussion. "You were the one leading the ship to Horizon Cerberus facility. You saved countless lives."

It seemed impossible, but Samantha's face got even more red. "Thanks, all of you. I know it now, but only discovered it recently. For the most time, I didn't even dare to fantasize about any of you. But I'm getting there, no problem. For today though, I'm choosing Diana Allers as my number one. God, this woman has an amazing body, and her dress does a great job of showing that. Her show should be called 'Battle Tits'or something. And if not her, then Gabriella Daniels. She's cute, and if that ass Kenneth doesn't want her, I'd be happy to fill in."

"It reminds me," Ashley said, putting a finger to her forehead. "Why Diana isn't here with us?"

"By the goddess!" Liara shouted. "I forgot to invite her! Should we call her now?"

"What's done is done," answered Shepard. "Now it's too late for that. Don't bother yourself with that, Liara, it just slipped your mind. No harm done, it seems it is supposed to be this way. Traynor, it's your time to spin!"

Samantha didn't waste any more time and spun eagerly, and the bottle landed on Kasumi. "Truth," the thief said.

"Ok, Kasumi. My question is, what are your favorite sex toys? Provided you use them of course."

"Of course I use them, why should I limit my fun, Sam?," Miss Goto answered. "I have two favorites actually. One, I like the small vibrators that you can wear under the panties, which are controlled remotely. I even used them a few times during the heists, with Keiji in control; it's not easy to bypass a security lock when you would prefer to use your hands on your pussy or to move silently beside a guard if you want to moan from pleasure."

"And the second one?" Jane asked eagerly.

"Cuffs, hands down, literally and figuratively," Kasumi continued. "We used them many times when we roleplayed as a criminal and a police officer, though I liked them even without such a scenario. But with it, they were even better; I can't deny I have a little thing for law enforcers of all kinds," she ended and winked at Samara.

"Well, you're practically surrounded by such people, so be careful to not get aroused," joked Tali, who didn't notice the wink.

The thief collected the bottle and spun it, and it landed on Samara this time.

"Truth," she said with that velvet voice of hers.

"So, tell me..." Kasumi looked directly into the asari eyes. "What is your take on BDSM sex? I mean, being a dom is practically what you do for a living, so maybe you like to change to sub when in private."

"Despite why I'm a justicar in the first place, I love my job" Samara responded, also looking straight at the thief. "I love it so much that I bring it home very often. I can be a sub if I want, but there are too many wrong-doers in the world. Many of them escape rightful justice, and I must use any opportunity to deliver it to them, my bedroom included. By the goddess, some of them are even in this room, and sooner or later, they will be punished."

The two women looked at each other for a moment, but finally, Ashley cleared her throat and brought everyone back to reality. "Spin the bottle, Samara," Liara seconded her friend and when the justicar did that, the bottle pointed toward Miranda. The perfect woman also chose the truth, and it was just what Samara was counting on.

"Ok, Miss Lawson," she said. "Let me ask the question everyone wants to hear an answer to: do you and TIM ever fucked each other?" Many other women cheered hearing it, but Samantha raised her brew in question. "What's about it that you're all so happy with this question?" she asked.

"Well..." it was Shepard who answered it. "You didn't know Miranda by then. You know she's a former Cerberus, but don't know how completely loyal she was to the organization generally and The Illusive Man in particular," she explained, and everyone nodded.

"Yes, I was exactly like that before the Omega-4 relay mission" confirmed Miss Lawson. "Of course, he's an attractive man, but our relationship was strictly professional, and we never did such a thing. We respected each other greatly, but nothing else was between us, I assure you."

"Really?" Jack asked in doubt. "You have never ridden him on that big chair? Never got under his desk to blow him when he had a business meeting? Not even a handjob here and there when you have a break in discussion?"

"Ugh, no, nothing like that, ugh," Miranda shrugged, kind of disguised by those weirdly specific questions.

"Ok, cheerleader, ok," apologized Jack and added: "I'm not sure if I'm disappointed, or proud of you. Anyway, spin the bottle."

Former Cerberus officer did just that and it landed on Subject Zero herself, opening an opportunity for a little revenge. "Truth please," the tattooed woman said.

"Truth, you?" Everyone was surprised, but it was Miranda who voiced it. "I was sure you'd be the first to choose to dare given your... yourness."

"Night's still young, isn't it, princess? Come on, bring it on!"

"Ok then... As we're fully in 'questions about sex-life' mode now, answer me this: what was the biggest group sex you participated in?"

"Uuu, a good one, sister. Maybe it would be disappointing for you but my biggest group sex - or rather, sexes - was four persons. What, what did you think, that every day I fuck dozens of people simultaneously? Not, foursomes they were, but quite a number of them, and I did it in every configuration though. Two men, and two women, with and without full partner swap. Not many guys want to fuck their buddies, but seeing two ladies doing it - everyone wants that. Three women on one man - the rarest thing. Only the toughest can perform well enough to satisfy them all, and if they don't, why should we bother? Better to invite yet another girl, been there/done that too; fun as hell, orgasms like heaven. And finally, three men and me - yeah, I can do that, I have three holes after all. But I'll spare you the details, you can use your imagination."

After completing her answer, Jack laughed hard and spun the bottle before everyone recovered their cool, as the answer made them all even more aroused than before. This time fate chose Ashley, who decided on the truth as well.

"Ok, girl scout, let's see who you really are" Jack started, smiling mischievously. "Did you ever roleplay in bed?"

Ash didn't even fling. "I did, actually, quite often even. I had this boyfriend once, who was a huge fan of an old video game series, titled 'Dragon Rage' or something like that. And he asked me to cosplay characters from it in bed. I thought it would be fun, so I agreed."

"What characters?" asked Jane, Samantha, and Liara simultaneously.

"Can't remember the names, but themes. There was a witch who wore very revealing clothes, and a diplomat who in contrast wore too many layers. My favorite was however a warrior woman, who was someone like justicar, but with a gentle side. There were also a few kinks, like a tattooed elven girl (my bf even purchased pointy plastic ears for me); once he even wanted me to roleplay as his younger sister. But when he asked me to shave my head and wear a black face, I had to dump him."

The story brought many laughs around, and the women were happier than ever. Ashley spun a bottle which finally chose Shepard. "Truth or dare, Skipper?" Ashley asked, and Shepard answered with "Truth."

"Ok, we had some laughs, but my question will be serious," Ashley warned. "I once joked about me kissing a turian on your order, but it's you who actually did that. So, among many fine men like Kaidan, Jacob, and Vega, why did you choose Garrus?"

Shepard silenced for a moment. She considered accusing Williams of racial issues, but she knew she didn't mean it like that - Ashley had a hard time accepting aliens on the Normandy, but it was because of her loyalty to the Alliance military, not prejudice against non-humans. She then decided to answer truthfully.

"Well, you're right comparing him to human males, I put a lot of thought into wondering if cross-racial romance is a valid option, especially if he's dextro. But the truth is, except for Tali here Garrus was the only one who was always at my side, and fought with me with every enemy I faced those last few years" she explained. "It's the main reason, but there's more. Like how he's so strong and brave in the open, but so cute and awkward when we're alone. And his voice, oh man, it may cause a girl to shiver."

"Aww" popped out of Tali's mouth, but the truth was that many other women were moved by this answer, and Liara even pretended that she must've checked something on Glyph to stealthily wipe a tear. In the meantime, Shepard spun the bottle which landed on Kasumi.

"Truth or dare, Goto?" Jane asked.

"Dare," Kasumi answered.