No Questions Asked Pt. 02

Hello again. I'm shooting for shorter chapters. Here's the middle chapter. Chapter three, the last chapter, is already written and should be posted tomorrow.

No Questions Asked

Chapter 2 of 3

Dave marched upstairs and took a long relaxing shower. Drying himself and prepared for bed he emerged from the bathroom to find Bea had put herself in a very sexy teddy and placed herself in their bed. She looked very worried, no, distressed was a better word. He thought she should be. He took his time arriving at their bed. Then grabbing a novel, he threw back the sheets and threw himself in bed. He made sure to roll away from Bea immediately; she was dismissed.

Bea was thunderstruck, Dave had never treated her that way. But what answer did she have for him? She couldn't just say she loved him. She'd said that days ago, but everything that transpired since made it ring hollow now. She'd said she didn't want to answer questions. Dave had never so much as hinted that was a tolerable situation.

"Daaave, pleeease. I know you can hear me. Please listen, just a little." She placed her hand on his shoulder, it was shaking badly. "Hou-Houston. That's where I'm going." She was suddenly sobbing.

She opened her eyes to see Dave looking at her full of concern. His eyes were begging her to say more.

"Hoooouston is where my doctor is."

Dave was perplexed, "Doctor? Honey all our doctors are right here in town. We don't live in Texas." He simply didn't understand, he wasn't giving her a hard time.

Dave gave her more time. He could see her fighting to control herself. He put his hand over hers to steady her. Bea thanked her maker for that. "M-My college doctor."

Dave's blood went cold. This was a chapter of her life he'd never heard of. He knew she'd gone to college there, but she'd never mentioned needing a doctor. "What sort of doctor did you have in college?" He now expected to hear about an abortion. He cursed himself for thinking it, that was no way to support Bea!

"My... psychiatrist." Bea stared at him willing him to understand but how could he? She hadn't come close to telling him enough to let him understand what was going on.

"Bea, are you okay?"

"No! No, I'm not. I told you, I'm losing it, Dave. I'm losing my mind. I thought this was all behind me, then the question came back. It's grown until I can barely think straight. I just didn't want it to hurt you. I wanted to be able to come to you and explain it. I can't explain it now. I have to finish the work with my doctors first. Pleeease Dave." She suddenly shook her head violently. "I-I wasn't asking you for anything with that plea, Dave, just that you understand. I'm not okay, but I love you. I love you more than anything!" Then she added the fatal word, "but..." Hearing what she'd done Bea pulled at her hair.

Filled with panic Bea threw the sheets away from her and raced from the room. Dave was pretty sure her slamming of the guestroom door was accidental and not an editorial comment on his earlier speech. Though he now wondered if she would ever share his bed again.

Dave slowly trod to the door of the guest room. He knocked softly. He heard no motion only deep pained crying. He tried the door shocked to find it locked. "Bea, can I come in? I won't ask any more questions tonight. I'll just support you."

It took a while, but he heard the crying grow louder, Bea was walking the door. He felt her press against the door.

"Bea?"

"Dave, not now. I don't want you to see this, Dave. Not yet. I need the answers. Let me wrestle with it alone. Please Dave."

"It doesn't seem right. I love you, Bea."

"Oh Dave, that's all I want."

He started to leave then heard her say something else, "There's nothing right about this, Dave. That's why I need to go to Houston. I have to know what to do, what I'm facing. I can't describe how terribly sorry I am." There was a pause before he heard, "I love you too, Dave." He felt her weight leave the other side of the door. He listened to her crying recede. He waited until he was sure she'd made it to the bed before he left this time.

Dave couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts warred with each other. He took one side and then the other. He'd taken what he thought was decisive action. If Bea didn't want him, he wanted to know it and move on. He didn't want a life where she cheated on him, he didn't think she did either. It would all play out soon. It didn't matter how much he loved her; he needed her to love him back. He no longer planned to stop her, if she went without his consent Dave would have his answer. No point to living a lie. He had one last salvo to launch tomorrow night.

Dave was resolved on several counts though. He loved Bea like crazy, he didn't want it to end badly because of anything he did. He could stand his ground without being nasty. That thought ate at him. Especially as their time together may be coming to an end, he got out of bed and went downstairs fishing out the slim mechanical tool he needed to open the guest room door from the outside. He then went back upstairs and walked across the hall.

He opened the guest room door to find his wife simply falling to pieces emotionally. Her face was stuffed into a pillow which suppressed the almost animal sounds of suffering she was making. Bea started at his touch. Her eyes were full of fear at not being alone, then melted to pools of longing at seeing him.

"Come on Bea, you belong with me." He put his hand on her cheek, she pushed her face into it. "No more talking tonight, just us together."

Her face though broken was suddenly alit with appreciation. He scooped her up making her mix a latent sob with an exhalation of surprise. "You need to sleep in my arms."

Dave carried her back to their bed. She said over and over that she loved him until she faded off into a sleep of absolute exhaustion. Dave joined her but not before asking himself what the hell was wrong with his wife.

Thursday

After finishing a subdued dinner, Dave asked his wife in the most supportive way he could muster, "Since we've reached an impasse: you wanting my answer without giving me any additional answers, how would you feel about volunteering for an offbeat way to make me more confident and proving your trustworthiness?"

Bea brightened expecting a sexual favor, "Okay!" She was delighted having thought his expectation was no further talk and no trip. Maybe her trip was back on the table, maybe she could be rid of this compulsion. What did her wonderful man want?

Dave cringed. This was a wacky idea with a wackier plan behind it. If Bea wouldn't agree to the idea itself, he hoped it would open a side avenue to talk about what was wrong. 'Here goes nothing,' he thought before he asked, "How about a chastity device?"

"What?" Bea wasn't sure she heard correctly.

"Bea, it seems reasonable. It's a solution that allows you to go, without answering questions, while taking sex off the table. Well, largely."

Completely stunned Bea balked. At that she felt his demeanor change, his eyes felt like they were cutting into her. Her hands raised waving, signaling her hesitation wasn't contrariness. She mumbled, "Uh, Dave, honey ... that really doesn't sound reasonable."

Dave knew his eyebrows arched enough to send pennies placed atop them flying across the room. He tried to sound supportive while not hiding the edge in his voice, "Neither does a wifee taking a secret vacation from her husband and possibly marriage." His tone was a quiet calm tone that sounded like thunder echoing through the valley.

Bea felt herself exhale loudly as the wind came flowing out of her, "Dave, there are no men... this isn't about sex, not really. I don't want a guy; I don't want another partner. I don't want a Shetland pony, not even a yoga goat."

There was silence as she looked at him scared and unsure. Which was pretty much the same way Dave was looking back at her.

"Huh? You don't want a Shetland pony? What the hell is a yoga goat? What are you talking about?" Dave wasn't angry, his face had blanked. She'd blown his circuit breakers.

Bea stammered, "I-I'm not sure where that came from. I had an uncle that always promised me a Shetland Pony when I was ten. My mother worried that I really wanted one. I couldn't get her to believe I didn't."

Dave looked at her with the same "what are you talking about" expression.

Crestfallen Bea mumbled, "Yoga goats are goats that crawl on you as you do your yoga positions."

Dave seemed more confused.

Looking miserable Bea whispered, "Those little goats are cute as hell."

"Until the miserable little bastards eat your garden and headbutt you into next week. Which is what you keep doing to me."

Bea's face instantly changed. She looked ghastly. Dave couldn't read it. She'd been pushed to the breaking point. He literally shook his head for a few moments. He needed to make a concerted effort to reel this conversation back in.

Dave made a point of giving her a disarming smile though his eyes conveyed this was serious business, "It's not that I want to be unduly cruel to those Shetland ponies, but I see no reason to be cruel to me. Besides Bea, this is equitable. You get the keys to whatever is hidden in your case, and the keys to your hotel room to which you can admit any guest you please, and you already have the keys to my heart. I will have the keys to what you promised me exclusively. I don't have to worry about your hotel guests or your performing yoga with old goats. It's not equal, and it's still hugely to my detriment, but at least there's something on my side of the ledger. You get something extra that you won't tell me about and I only retain part of what's mine -- including a little piece of mind. Bea, it's gonna look pretty terrible saying you don't want me to have those keys or that confidence after all you've done."

Bea was doing better but had no idea what to say. Not that Dave was giving her the chance, he was still talking.

"I don't see any reason to be put in a position to believe my wife is cheating on me. I've had opportunities to be with other women, I didn't take them. I've presumed you've had the same chances and made the same choice. But now you won't state it definitively. You won't show me what you've packed. You've locked your suitcase. I know the city now, and thanks for that, but I don't have a hotel or room number. You won't answer any more questions, and you went on and on about how you wouldn't be with a man. But in all fairness, you did bring up the ponies, and now you won't deny them."

He couldn't make it past his own joke. It was just what he needed to defuse some of the nerves and tension he now felt with the person he used to be most at ease with. He broke into a gail of laughter. Bea found herself helplessly drawn along. They were both relived they could laugh.

"Bea, I'm trying so hard, baby. Especially after last night I'm trying to make this work for both of us. I'm trying to keep us together, and if I have to, I'm trying to make that leap of faith for you. I'm trying to keep this conversation light, but we're out of time. We have to cut though the angst and find a way forward that we can both live with."

Bea felt completely relieved, though exhausted from the roller coaster ride.

Dave spoke when Bea didn't, "In our earlier talk about where you would be, you understood my worry about not being able to find you if something terrible happened. Your response was telling your parents -- not me. You said you trusted me to not call your parents and find out, while not trusting me to know myself. We both know that whatever you told them was a lie though. Oh sure, that you'd be in Houston for the weekend. But I'm sure you told them it was work or college related, anything but the real reason."

Bea looked down blushing hotly.

"Which means we've established you're telling lies about this."

Bea's head popped up in shock. She defensively stammered, "I-I didn't want to say anything to a-anybody!"

"Yeah," Dave said more than just a little disgusted, "because you didn't want to lie. But you were in that predicament because you had already decided not to tell the truth."

Bea rubbed her temples, "D-Dave, I'm not trying to pour any more gas on this, but do you still trust me?"

He started to give a harsh rebuke then was astonished to see she was heartbrokenly earnest in her question. She wanted to know how badly she'd hurt them.

"Geez Bea, "do you trust me" is one of those strange self-negating questions."

She looked at him bewildered.

"You trust someone fine until they ask if you trust them, then you figure they've done something untrustworthy. Half the time you don't trust the person as much as you did before they asked the question."

"But Honey, do you trust me, really trust me? Anymore?"

Dave was clearly reticent to answer, "No."

Bea winced, though it was as she expected. She was trying to head matters off at the pass hoping they could still be salvaged, "You're telling me not to go."

It was too late for that, the kettle or worms had been upset, fortunately for Bea, Dave was still engaged trying to figure it all out, he hadn't thrown up his hands on Bea or their marriage yet.

"I haven't answered that one yet. But no, I don't trust you like I did, not anymore. You've basically lied by omission. You want my trust to do whatever you want, wherever you choose to do it. Until I forced the issue, if you got in trouble, I couldn't even send the cops because I didn't know if you were going to be in Chicago or the Middle East. Clearly, you've stopped trusting me and pretty much respecting me too."

Bea looked up at him wanting to say something with no words emerging.

"Bea, you know this is hurting me and hurting us. But tough shit, you want to do what you want to do, and to hell with my feelings and the effect it has on us. Just the attitude tells me you don't love me like I thought you did. It's had an effect on me too, I love you, but I don't trust you. If you cared, you'd be wise to stay and try to earn that back. Which also means telling me what all this is about. If you go, I'll know the sad truth.

Dave looked at her as if calculating a great equation, "I answered your original question, but you'll have to answer the second: I won't stop you from going. I've been living a lie apparently; I need to know how much of one. The trip seems to be the barometer."

Bea wondered aloud, "Dave, how did you manage that reversal? Now everything is back on me. I have to prove my faithfulness instead of your proving your belief in me, which I kind of thought you'd be happy to prove." She shook her head bewildered.

Dave held his arms out at his sides, "Bea, do you think you're acting in a trustworthy way? If you were doing your very best for us, would you recommend to us that you stay or go on your trip? Do you think what you'd recommend now would really be good for both of us?"

She hung her head, "But baby, I'm gonna try and do right by you on this thing."

"Try? Are you? Okay love of my life and honored wife, where are you staying? That should be basic knowledge for any spouse leaving another."

Bea looked at him with huge, frightened eyes.

Dave matched her expression with perturbed incredulity, "See? You aren't going to tell me. You know you're not going to do right by me, because this whole plan isn't doing right by me. You haven't left yet, and you're already not doing right by me."

Bea's eyes went to little slits as if the fact was too painfully bright to see.

"Bea, do you think what we're doing now is helping us? We're at loggerheads. If you really aren't planning on having sex, I'm not sure there's a huge problem with the idea of a chastity device. My request seems minuscule compared to yours."

Bea began to cry, which quickly became huge, sobbing, rocking sobs. "I swear to you I'm not going to share our intimacy with anyone."

Dave looked at Bea so hard she couldn't hold his gaze. "What does that mean? It sounds like we're playing word games. Sharing our intimacy? Define intimacy, then tell me what sharing it means. Is intimacy you and me together only? Would sharing our intimacy mean we join a group, or we have a threesome? It sounds like a phrase made to create loopholes."

Bea cried harder. Dave kept going, "What about your intimacy? Is your intimacy different and separate from our intimacy? Does sharing your intimacy alone mean you haven't shared ours together? Baby, did you just try to invent a semantic dead-end road where you being with someone else wouldn't count as cheating?"

Bea just cried. Dave was on a roll and his venting felt too good to stop. Why not get this out? He feared he was fighting for his marriage and Bea hadn't said a damn thing to make him feel incorrect.

"There are obvious groupings for possible playmates, men for example. We've eliminated most of the other common groups, but we've never spoken of other women. It seems a conspicuous absence now since we've even playfully discussed ponies. Are you thinking it would make a difference to me if you cheated with a woman? Do you believe being with a woman isn't cheating? I'm giving you the official opportunity to strike them off the list now too."

Bea's shoulders undulated with her sobs. Dave wasn't sure she could answer now, so he continued to vent the frustration she'd caused.

"If you are planning a tryst with a woman, she's going to touch you. Wouldn't that count as intimate? Or would that be a case of your sharing only your intimacy and not "ours"? If she's going to feel your soft skin and your intimate parts, if she's going to put her tongue on you, or in you, if you will be in bed together or have sexual contact, if you're going to make out with her: I would consider that intimate. At the very least I'd consider it sharing your intimacy and therefore harming our intimacy."

Having made his point Dave made himself clam down. There were still things he needed Bea to understand. "Bea, earlier you mentioned a difference between sex and intimacy, but I haven't been boffing anyone in the secretarial pool and dismissing it by saying "it was only a piece of ass". And I don't think you want me to start. So, it seems reasonable I don't want you to start either. If we start allowing ourselves side partners, I think we've broken our commitment to each other. I think that could break our whole relationship. What could we still have with all the betrayal and lack of trust afterwards? Maybe merely two people who date each other non-exclusively from time to time. Or maybe we just have sex without intimacy?"

Bea huddled shaking turning white as a ghost. Dave thought her reaction a little severe as he hadn't even been as loud as he was at football games.

Dave was too wound up to stop completely, and to his dismay his wife hadn't offered anything to make him slow down. Still, he lowered the energy level for Bea's sake, "Your choice can allay some of my fears, which you said you never wanted to put in my head in the first place. Or perhaps that doesn't matter anymore."

He let the questions sit there. Of course, Bea would want to take away the fears she was causing him! She wasn't connecting the dots. When Bea looked up, Dave was gently appraising her, waiting for this very moment when he could put the pieces together for her.

"I know the chastity device might be uncomfortable, but as we're so into each other it might be kinda hot. You'll be really ready for me by the time you get back. I know you said there were no guys but heck, if you're really going away for some sort of a blow bang or the like, this would give you that latitude while cutting the possibility of... a greater investment on your part or worry about losing control or being forced.

"Those last outcomes must seem pretty ugly to you. The first seems pretty ugly to me too. I don't think you going off to be with someone else over the weekend is reasonable. I don't see how you can expect me to sanction that, especially as you're purposely keeping me in the dark. And don't complain if I come up with especially dark ideas, you put me in this position, you said so yourself at the start of this mess. Bea you're playing with a powerful mixture. Combining lying by omission with adultery is a lethal combination. Add in lack of respect for me by thinking this is in any way alright, and we have three strikes."