No Shit There I Was

I showed them all how to make a simple knife. Something you could maybe whittle with. Then I told them how to do some of the tricks of the knife making a trade, but I didn't show them how. I want them to come buy my knives after all, not burn down their house trying to make one themselves. I then advised any that wanted to learn more to get with a smith like Dean and learn the basics of the forge first.

Two hours later, when the class broke up, I was getting my tools together when I heard my hammer cold ring on the anvil behind me. I turned to see the dark haired girl from the showers. She was looking me up and down in a predatory fashion.

"Wouldn't have figured leather could hold that much." she said looking at my crotch.

I looked around and saw two members of Shadow Legion standing by the bathhouse looking dead at me. I grinned at them.

"It has a bit of stretch to it." I stepped over and caught the head of my hammer. She ran her hand seductively up the handle.

"You're not afraid of my father are you, Jak o' the Blade?"

I grinned and shook my head.

"Not in the least." I gave my hammer a tug, but she held on. "But the state of Mississippi, now that's another question. As gorgeous as you are, you delightful piece of jailbait, I'll wait a year."

She laughed and let go of my hammer.

"You never know I might be worth some time in prison. You sure I can't tempt you Jak?" She lifted a finger to the edge of her top. She ran it along the frilly edge across her smooth white breast. She lifted it to her mouth and licked the tip.

I smiled.

"Oh, you can tempt the hell out of me. Doesn't mean I'm going to give into temptation. I'll see you next year. Then you can try this again. I bet you'll get a different response from me."

She walked off with her hips swaying.

I looked up to see the two boys from the dog pound coming towards me. I turned around towards them and let my head tilt to one side. My smith hammer dropped till I held it at the base of the handle. If they wanted to make this physical, two on one with their camp nearby, they would get me I was sure of that. But I wouldn't be the only one in the ambulance. I felt a large hand land on my shoulder. I turned to drop this one first and saw Balin's big grin.

"I wanted to talk to you. I know from my lady that you're okay with what happen, but I just wanted to say you're a lucky man to have a woman like Kathrin." He smiled and looked over my shoulder. "They're stepping."

I nodded. "Thanks."

"Not a problem. I wanted to ask you if you would like to bring your lady down to our camp and have dinner sometime this week?"

I smiled. Getting to see Raven again would make for a nice night.

"Sound good. Kat and I can return the favor sometime this week ourselves."

He patted my shoulder and I felt like a tent peg.

Leaving him, trying not to caress my shoulder, I started walking down towards the row. As I passed Shadow legion I saw the brunette inside their privacy wall. The two guys from earlier were standing by their gate. They eyed me all the way past their camp.

You know what? Fuck them. Fuck them with a red hot poker. Fuck them sideways with a barbwire-wrapped red hot poker. Fuck them sideways with ...

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Still steaming, I got back to merchant's row to hear my wife's voice. Kat was going to the wall with someone. Shaking my head, I headed towards our tent.

She was nose to nose with an overly dressed fop of a man. He had a stack of papers and seemed to think they would be a shield for him from her temper.

"If you don't like the site rules, good lady, you're welcome to strike your tent and leave." He told her kind of looking down his nose at her.

"Were going nowhere, little man, but your heads about to go into a port'o'let here in a second." Her fingers clench and the muscles bulge up under her shirt. "The smell will be familiar to you since-"

"What's going on?" I asked stepping up.

"This pencil pusher says were going to have to move our trailer out to the parking lot," she told me not breaking eye contact with him. Her nose was flared and she was beautiful in her anger.

"Trailers may not be kept in the merchanting area longer than required to unload. Yours has been here since Thursday afternoon. It will be removed to the parking area or if you do not, you will be required to leave site."

"IT'S OUR BED, YOU TWIT!" screamed Kathrin.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and stepped around till she saw me. "I've got this. Okay?" At her slow nod, I turned to look at the man making my wife mad. "Sir, I see what you're say. Kat watch the tent for a bit. I'll take care of this."

She nodded and went back inside and I started walking. After a moment the officious man started following me.

"Are you going to move your trailer or not?" He demanded when I didn't head toward the parking area.

"I will let you know that when the knight who I squirmed under for two years and who happens to be the Autocrat of the event, and probably the highest ranking member of the order of the Pelican on the site, gives me his ruling. You see it was his idea, about four years ago, that inspired how I set up my camp."

Leaving him sputtering in my dust, I kept walking towards troll. And when I walked inside he was right on my heels but I ignored him and stepped up to the lady taking site fees.

"Could you get the Autocrat for me, good lady? Tell him the merchant Jak o' the Blade would like to see him for a few minutes."

She nodded and called to one of her people. I saw them leave in a cart. The little clerk tried to talk to me but I waved him off, refusing to hear what he had to say. Visibly pissed, he went over to a desk and began to look through his rulebook. Probably looking for more things to cite me for. Like whistling on a Tuesday.

After about ten minutes of me waiting and him stewing the cart came back up the road with two people in it. One had a circlet and a white belt. I walked out to meet them. When The cart stopped the knight sat looking at me for a second.

"Squire Jak." Grinning he came over and gave me a hug.

"Sir John." I hugged him back in a manly fashion. "It's good to see you. I keep hoping you'll come by the tent. I have a pattern welded blade I know you would love."

He shook his head. "I'll try, but no promises. I've been so busy I can't turn around without running into myself going the other way."

I nodded. I remember when I had helped him run a small event years ago.

"I'm sorry to be taking up your time then but I'm having a problem." I looked over at the clerk who came bustling out with his stack of paper.

"Sir John this man is breaking site rules with his camp; he has a trailer parked in his tent and refuses to move it."

I saw Sir John just look at the man. He slowly turned to look at me.

"You still use your trailer as your bed right?" he asked.

"Ever since you suggested it to Kat and me."

He looked back at the man, his mustache twitching. Sir John sighed. "Since you seem to be having a problem seeing where the real trouble spots are in merchant's row perhaps I should put you in charge of getting the port 'o' let's cleaned out on time every day."

The fellow started stammering but sir John stopped him short.

"I have five thousand people plus on this site! I'm getting about four hours sleep a night. If that. I've been in Jak's tent many times. You can't see that trailer. He keeps it behind a canvas wall. Now, I've got a meeting in a bit so ... I'm going to watch now as you walk away. If you do it quickly enough I might let you keep your current job,"

We watched the guy all but sprint away.

"Was that more or less what you wanted to happen Jak?" He looked at me smiling.

"I'm sorry John, but he was being a prick to Kat and she was about to kick his ass."

Sir John nodded. "He can be a prick, but I need someone to do all the paperwork. Corporate wants all kind of forms to show were doing everything according to kingdom law." He shrugged. "Anyway, I wasn't lying when I said I have a meeting. I will try to get by your tent soon. Give Kathrin my love, till then."

"I will."

Watching my knight ride off into the sunset on his little cart. I turned to the lady running troll. She was looking at me trying to hide a grin.

I brought both hands up to the side of my face and leaned my head over onto them

"My hero!"

I thought she was going to pee herself laughing.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Wednesday

The place really started to fill up by ten that morning. Almost as many people were driving by as on Friday and Saturday and Sunday combined. I finally had enough and left Kat to watch the shop. As I lay down to sleep, I heard her talking to someone. They sat down and soon a mumbled conversation drifted back to me. I could tell it was one of the other merchants, but I couldn't make out whom. I heard a third voice. Softer sweeter.

Miranda?

"He's sleeping." I heard Kat say.

"Sounds like a good idea. Would you mind if I joined him?" Miranda asked.

"Of course not."

I was drowsy, but the sound of her coin belt jingling as she took it off was just loud enough to wake me a bit. I lifted the sheet and she slid in beside me. I curled her into my chest softly stroking her hair.

"Jak? I heard her whisper.

"Yes, lovely?"

She shivered. "If I told you, I'm in love with you what would you say?"

I opened my eyes and looked into hers.

"Are you saying you're in love with me?" I asked moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

"No, I'm asking what would you say if I told you that I was."

"That I'm flattered. That I have very strong feeling for you, but that their not love exactly yet. That I'm married and to have me you have to deal with Kathrin as well. I know you don't mind that, though." I kissed her nose. "Why do you ask? Wanting to move in with Kat and I off site?"

"I love you both and if I did that I would be a slave to both of you before the first week was out, but no. I had someone tell me they were in love with me last night. Just out the blue. I've known him for years. Even flirted with him once, or twice He is nice enough, but I ... I just wasn't expecting what he said and now I don't know what to do."

I sighed. There are times I feel I should be writing an advice column as often as people come to me. Like my life is some shining tower of perfection they aspire to. If they only knew.

"Well, you need, to be honest with him from the very beginning. Tell him you're not in love with him. Are you willing to see if you could become in love with him?"

"Like I said, he's nice enough, yeah maybe," she said nodding.

"Well, it's still just the middle of the week. You have a good bit of time before Sunday. Spend it with him. Hang out together. Get to know him better, see if there's more than meets the eye. Talk to a few people here who may know him off site. If after a couple of days he still seems nice start making plans for after Sunday." I grinned at her and kissed her lips softly. "I know I don't have to tell you how to seduce him if you get to liking him better."

She pulled me down into a long kiss. Slowly she pushed me back till I was lying on my back. I watched her kiss her way down my chest following the line of dark hairs to my navel. Then lower. I shuttered at the touch of her mouth on my cock. It swelled quickly under her gentle kisses. Her tongue licked me in a long slow way from base to tip.

I leaned back on the pillows as she settled into a slow up and down sucking. Her lips running half way down my cock. Her tongue licking the underside on the up stroke. I rested my hand in her curls.

Her small fingers curled around the bottom half of me and slowly pumped while she licked and sucked on the head. I felt then the hard round ball of her tongue piercing playing with the opening. Like she was trying to put it inside of me.

I clenched my fingers into the furs as she sucked harder and harder on me. Her tongue got steadily faster. Her fingers tighter.

My breathing was growing faster and I had to suppress my moans as I could still hear Kat talking outside.

She slid her teeth the length of me. Taking me all the way into her mouth in one slow push. I could feel her nose pushing against my skin.

My fingers tightened in her hair and in the furs. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Half sitting up I curled around her head and held her to me with both hands as I flooded into her mouth. It was all I could do to be quite as I felt her keep sucking. Pulling cum out of me like she was sucking on a thick milkshake. I felt my toes curl and had to tap her shoulder as I lay back. My hands were shaking as she licked one last time from base to tip.

She sat up and looked me in the eye. Slowly she tilted her head and swallowed. As I saw her throat move I could have cum again. I pulled her down to me and hugged her tight against my chest as I tried to catch my breath as quietly as I could.

"Oh dear god that felt good," I told her in a whisper as I panted.

She snuggled into my neck.

"You don't have to call me god, Jak, but you're welcome to worship me as much as you want."

I grinned. "I get to work building your temple just as soon as I can find twenty thousand stone masons." I lightly kissed the side of her neck.

"So I can expect to start getting collection money any day now?"

Laughing, I hugged her to me. "Whoever he is, this guy who loves you, he is going to be a real lucky man."

She smiled and I saw a hint of a blush.

"Thank you, Jak."

Pulling her to me I could smell myself on her breath as I kissed her. Taste myself on her tongue. I've known guys who won't kiss a girl after a blowjob. You're asking her to do that for you, but you're not willing to taste yourself? Seems disrespectful as hell to me.

After several minutes, she slid out the bed and started getting back into her coin belts.

"Going to go take my advice?" I asked with a smile.

She nodded. Smiling she leaned down and kissed me again.

"Hey." I stopped her, as she was about to step out into the front of the tent. She came back over to me. "Want some more advice real quick?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Sure."

"Get the breath mints out my belt pouch. You're not going to make a good impression on him with the cock breath you have." I grinned.

She swatted at me but missed. "Wonder where I got that from?"

I shrugged and leaned back onto the bed. "No idea."

She giggled and left. I heard her talk to Kat for a second then she was gone. I suddenly wasn't at all sleepy. Sliding to the end of the bed I fished out the site book and flipped through to the schedule.

"That's what I thought," I said getting up and starting to get getting dressed.

"You talking to yourself in there Jak, or do you have a mouse in your pocket?" I heard my wife ask from outside.

"Myself," I told her as I dug into my footlocker trunk. I brought out a long leather roll. Untying it, I rolled it open on the bed. There were six perfectly balanced throwing knives lying in their little pockets. I pulled two out and started flipping and catching them. I set one to spinning in my palm.

Perfectly balanced.

Putting them back I rolled up the whole thing and went out front.

"Ah, it's you." I looked at the little lady sitting in my chair. She went to get up, but I waved her back down. She was a ribbon merchant who we had set up beside one war. Nice enough, but a bit of chatter box.

Kat saw the roll of leather. "We don't have enough trophies at home? "

I smiled and leaning in gave her a kiss. "Going for one more. I'll be back."

"I'll be here." She kissed me back.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

We started out throwing at seven feet. Only center two rings get to move on. There were about fifty knife throwers to start with. I watched some of the axe throwers on the nearby targets while the others threw.

I tossed in the middle of the pack and hit dead center. I could have done that from seven feet all day long.

Then we moved out to about twelve feet. Only center two rings move on. There were about ten of us left after that throw.

One caught my eye. He was in a red kilt with a red Irish flat cap. He wore his blades in a red leather baldric, slantways across his chest. Like me, he had hit center target both times.

At sixteen feet there were three of us left. They guy in red and a black girl chewing gum like she was auditioning for Willy Wonka on Broadway.

As they moved the target out to twenty feet The Marshall stepped forward.

"My lords and ladies. The knife throw finals have three persons of skill here today. Lady Willowmina the Dane."

Several in the crowd cheered. I saw they had the Black willow badge same as her. Now I knew her, Lady Rowanna's daughter. Should have seen it she looks just like her mom.

"Lord Jak o' the Blade."

The crowd cheered. I saw a few friends of my grinning back at me.

"And Lord Ralharous," said the Marshal pointing to the man in red.

"Gesundheit," I said it before I could stop myself.

The crowd laughed and even the man in red smiled.

"They will now be throwing from twenty feet." The marshal said holding up a hand for attention. "Only center two rings will advance."

"Why not center only?" asked Ralharous. He flipped and caught his blade.

The marshal looked at Willowmina and after her nod to me. I nodded.

"Very well, center target only." He gestured towards the target. "Ladies first."

Chewing her gum at a furious pace she stepped up whipping her right hand off on her hip. She flipped the blade over from the left and sent it spinning in towards the target. I watched it fly straight but drop just a hairs bit too low at the last. A half-inch higher and she would have clipped the center. She nodded to us both and went to join the crowd.

He gestured to me "Ladies first."

The crowd laughed.

Grinning, I stepped up. I closed my eyes and everything faded away. I saw not this target, but the one I threw at back home. I pulled in a deep breath and on the exhale sent the blade with all my force at the target. I struck at the top of center, but in the ring.

He put it dead center.

They moved the target back another five feet. We were throwing the whole length of this end of the live weapons field. Any further and we were going to have to move over to the archery targets.

I could hear the marshal. I could hear the crowd, but they were all one removed. I felt the slick feel of my knife under my thumb. I remembered when I forged it. The long hours slow grinding, filing, and sanding to get the balance just right.

My breath in an even rhythm, my focus tight, I threw. It spun in and hit with a thunk. Just low of the center, but still in the black.

His throw hit the second ring.

The noise of the crowd came back to me in a rush. Several friends came up and patted me on the back. I shook Ralharous's hand when he offered it.

"Damn good throw," he told me.

"Thank you. I think it was luck as much as skill there at the last, though."

He grinned at me. "I don't."

I turned to find Raven smiling at me. I opened my arms and she rushed into them and kissed me.

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you," I told her. I looked up as the marshal came over and handed me a black disk of polished Hematite on a silver chain. It was in a black velvet case. I thanked him with a nod of my head. I turned back to Raven. I had her pulled up tight to my hip with no intention of letting go anytime soon. She smiled at me.

"I was on my way to your tent to see if you would like to come join us for dinner tonight. Then I heard the marshal calling out your name, just after I walked past."

I kissed her again.

"Dinner sounds wonderful. What time?" I asked looking into her dark eyes.

"Sunset. It should be done by then." She gave me a peck of a kiss and went to pull away. I caught her and pulled her back for a longer kiss.