No Shit There I Was

"We'll be there."

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Walking back to camp I stopped to watch a rapier tournament. Kathrin had been talking for a year of so about us getting into it. Coming from a heavy fighter background I had a bit of contempt for swishy poke.

That is till a friend of ours dropped by one weekend, with masks and foils, for an afternoon of practice. Being chased around the backyard for an hour without getting even close to touching him once had taught me some respect. I went straight to bed and passed out from exhaustion right after he left. I was so sore I hurt for two days.

"Lord Jak."

I turned and barely saw brunette hair as something was put into my hand. Looking down, I saw an apple poked full of whole cloves. I looked up at her smiling face.

"You don't give up do you?" I told Kain's daughter with a smile.

"Not when it's something I want," she answered me with a grin.

I lifted the fruit up and looked at it slowly turning it a bit.

"I could just pull one out with my fingers. You would look a bit silly kissing my hand." I tapped a clove with a finger.

"Bet I could still get you hot," she told me licking her lips.

I shook my head and brought the fruit up to my mouth. I pulled the clove out with my teeth.

She was in my face in a second her lips hard against mine. Her fingers were locked on the back of my head!

With one handful of fruit and one full of her I decided to just let it go. I kissed her back will all the skill years of lovers has given me. I felt her tongue enter my mouth. My taste buds already numb from the clove I could still get a hint of mint and vanilla from her mouth. For several seconds, we fought over who was going to keep that little spice spike till at last I pushed it into her mouth.

I stepped back. Our lips parted.

"Happy now?"

She stood there with her eyes closed savoring the kiss for a second then they popped open. She smiled, nodded, and with a swirl of that long brown hair walked away.

I took a deep breath and walked off towards the merchant's row carrying the piece of fruit.

Now I had to find someone to give it too. That's the game. Kids in the middle ages would play it at parties as ways of finding a husband or wife. The cloves made the breath sweet.

It had made my mouth numb.

I saw one Housemother from the Viking encampment eyeing the fruit in my hand as I walked towards her on the road. She shook her head in a warning. I was tempted. I had heard her at a party one night brag about what she could pull a clove out with.

Walking in the row, I saw a group of people surrounding a lady with a crown. I saw the device on their surcoats. Meridies.

My kingdom.

I stepped in front of her and stopped. I saw one of her people start to speak harshly to me, but I dropped into my best bow before her. Then extended my hand towards her holding the fruit!

"Your majesty, if I may ask an indulgence."

One of her guards stepped forward with his hand on top of his sword. Before he could say anything though she tapped him on the shoulder with the fan she was carrying.

Stepping forwards she gently took the apple from me. I saw her look at it much as I had done. She lifted her other hand and took a hold of a clove. She pulled it out just a bit then stopped. With a smirking glance to the side, she lifted the fruit to her lips and kissed a clove out of the apple.

Rising from my bow, I stepped up before her and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips. Letting her set the tone, her lips were soft against mine for a few seconds then they were gone. Looking at her, face to face, she smiled at me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"My pleasure."

I bowed again and stepped out the way. I watched her pass by me-taking the fruit with her-her retinue in tow. I turned to walk to my tent.

I stopped.

All of the merchant's row it seemed was watching me. A couple started to slow clap.

I gave another low bow with a flourish.

Kathrin was standing by our tent poles looked at me as I walked up.

"What are you doing?"

"Playing," I told her grinning.

"So I see."

She stepped up and gave me a very gentle kiss. It by far surpassed all I had gotten since leaving her side.

Then she lightly slapped me.

God, I love my wife.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

I sat with my feet towards a fire pit. The heat warming my boots. I had a large cloak draped over Raven and me. She was snuggled in against my side. Kat was sitting next to Balin on the other side of the fire pit.

We were all drunk as the House of Lords. Between their mead and mine. We had emptied many a bottle, both during dinner and after.

Balin was telling us a story.

"So no shit there I was, curled up with this gorgeous little flower. I've been talking her up all night long. Telling her how beautiful she looked. How I loved her hair. How sexy she smelled you name it. Just then I see a friend of mine come walking past. Stumbling past really. I stop him. I call his attention to the girl beside me. I point out all those things. How pretty her face is, how nice she looks. How wonderful her hair shines. My friend stands there looking at her the whole time. I'm saying this. The he turns to me and say "I'd Fuck Her."

My sides were hurting from laughing and I can see tears at the corners of Kathrin's eyes.

Still chuckling I took another sip from my mug. I had long since forgotten whose mead I was drinking.

"So what happened to this beautiful flower?" Kathrin asked.

"I married him."

I looked at Raven and we all burst out laughing again.

Kathrin and Balin turned to each other and started talking softly; I turned to Raven and was again amazed by how beautiful her eyes were.

"I agree with his friend."

She smiled and brushed her hand across my lips.

"You already have."

I looked across the fire and see Kathrin kissing Balin. Strong as she was she looked tiny next to him.

Turning to Raven, I saw her looking across the fire as well. She for a second looked a little sad then she turns to me and smiles.

"Can you help me up?" she asks me softly.

"That's asking a lot, but I can try." I got up out the folding loveseat chair on unsteady legs. Turning, I took her hands and pulled her up. We both swayed a bit then steadied each other.

"Where are you two going?" I heard Balin ask. I could see him grinning. The firelight playing off his eyes as he looked up from Kathrin's upturned face.

Raven clicked on a small flashlight pointing it at the ground. It was blinding in the near dark of the camp.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

I helped her walk. As we passed their seat Kathrin caught my fingers and gave then a squeeze. I nodded understanding the unspoken message.

"Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, Jak."

I stumbled crossing a two-inch high ravine and Raven caught me, then we were on the road with the gravel crunching underfoot. The cool night air away from the fire had a slow sobering effect on me. I began to walk a little straighter.

I took the flashlight from my belt and added it to hers.

Ahead I heard the slam of the port'o'let door. At one time, when we camped down this way, I had gone off site and come back with little cork bumpers and glued them to the doors to quiet that sound. We waited for the lady ahead of us to get finished then Raven stepped inside. By the time she got out I felt like my eyeballs were floating.

Ever tried to get leather pants unbuttoned and piss when you really have to go bad. Try it when your drunk and your motor skill are screwed up. It's an adventure in itself.

I saw her looking back towards her camp. I saw their fire pit was covered. It's light gone.

"Raven?"

She turned and I took her hand. We started walking down the king's highway. She was against my side my hand on her hip.

"Why did you leave so early that morning?" I asked her at one point as we stood holding hands by the entrance to one camp. There was a large party going on and it had slipped out into the road as a group of wanders came through blocking the road.

She didn't answer till we were well past them and walking alone again.

"I was a bit hesitant to let you wake up next to me and see me naked in the light of day."

I came to a dead stop and pulled her to a halt as well. I looked at her face suddenly cold sober. "Seriously?"

She nodded and looked away.

"Why? Why would you think that? You are absolutely gorgeous."

"Please Jak, I know what I look like in a mirror. I've nearly eight years on you." She gave a rueful chuckle. "I'm not that delicate flower he was talking about anymore."

I took her hands into mine. I slowly shook my head.

"I think you are a beautiful woman in the very prime of her life, and you're looking with lying eyes at yourself. Don't let them judge you. Look into mine instead. They will tell you the truth."

She shook her head. I pulled her to me and hugged her. We started to walk again.

"Oww."

"You okay?"

"I stepped on a stone."

I helped her hobble over to sit on a wood step by one of the cabins.

Kneeling down, I took off her shoe and began to gently rub her ankle. I looked up to see the door of the cabin open.

"Everything all right?" the young man asked looking down at us.

"She stepped wrong. Twisted her ankle," I told him softly. I could see into the cabin that others were sleeping.

"Need the chirurgeon?"

"I'm fine," Raven said giving her ankle a slight twist in my hand. I saw the slight flinch she tried to hide.

Standing up, I handed her the shoe and picked her up off the steps. The young lord smiled and wished us a good night as he closed the door to his cabin.

I walked the rest of the way to my tent carrying her in my arms. She soon gave up protesting and just leaned her head against my chest.

When I got her through the flap and laid her down on the bed, I took off her other shoe and gently massaged her feet. Then her legs. Then higher.

The rest of that night that passed between that beautiful lady and myself is not your business. But I will say this much.

When the light of the sun, coming through the canvas of my tent, showed her naked body to me, I proved to her just how wrong she was about how she looks.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Thursday

It was afternoon before we got the tent open for business. Both of us looked and felt like the walking dead. Business was good, though. We had made a few big sales. I wet a washcloth under out water barrel and was rubbing across the back of my neck when Kathrin jumped up from beside me.

Looking up, I saw her hop about ten quick steps out the front of our tent and come to stop in front of a short man in Middle Eastern garb.

She turned and threw up her arms!

"Make way! For Prince Elhal'e! Make way! For Prince Elhal'e!"

The man pulled a long folded fan from his sleeve. He started smacking Kat on her ass with it till he chased her back to the tent. She took up a position behind my giggling self.

"I am not a prince, I'll have you know!" He stood with one hand on his hip the other waving the fan under my nose.

"No you're a queen," said Kat from behind me.

"Don't make me come around there and kick your skinny ass, girl. I'll do it and you damn well know."

Grinning, I stood up and stepped over to him. I folded Elhal'e up in my arms.

"Oh good lord I've got a big strong man all around me, I'm all a flutter." He popped open his fan and set it to waving. It made the small blue feather in his hat dance.

"How have you been El?" I asked him chuckling.

"Oh lord, we have been partying all week and my ass is killing me."

I heard Kathrin die behind me. I was close to it myself.

"El, that is way too much information. Thank you." I could hardly keep a straight face and I could tell Kathrin had hurt herself.

"What? Oh, you dirty minded people! My bed is hard! My back is killing me from sleeping on it!"

I heard Kat hit the ground gasping for breath. I had to reach up and brush away a tear from my eyes.

It would be two hours after he left that Kathrin finally managed to stop laughing for more than a few minutes at a time. For the rest of the weekend, I only had to look at her with my lips twitching to make her dissolve into laughter.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

I was just opening the tent back up after a brief rain shower when I saw short red hair. I'll be damned.

I left the tent and walked to meet Dawn as she came walking through merchants. She smiled when she saw me and waved.

When she got close I dropped into a deep bow before her.

She tried to bow back.

"A woman is supposed to curtsy," I told her laughing.

She giggled. "A what?"

A passing woman, maybe all of twenty, stopped before me and dropped into a deep curtsy. That had it function of showing off a lot of white breasts. She turned to Dawn. "Like that my lady."

Dawn gave it a try. Not nearly the same thing in blue jeans and a T-shirt. Laughing, I walked up to her and caught her in a hug. I felt her arms hold me tight.

"I'm glad you came back."

"I didn't want your money to go to waste," she said with a shrug.

"Is that the only reason?" I looked down into her eyes.

She smiled up at me. "No."

Leaning down I gave her a light kiss. Her lips were soft against mine.

She looked around. "I saved my tips since Monday. I've got fifty dollars to spend here."

"Okay, what do you want to buy?" I asked her.

"Could I get enough clothes to make up an outfit?" she asked.

I knew the answer to that was probably no, but I had a few ideas.

"Come on." I headed down towards one of the stalls by the end of merchant's row.

"Don't you need to close up your tent?" she asked looking to where I had left it with half a flap open.

"Why?" I asked absently. I knew of a few merchants who owed me favors I could cash in.

"You have all those handmade knives just lying out on the tables. Aren't you afraid someone might steal one?"

I chuckled.

"In ten years of merchanting, I've had only one blade stolen. A kid took it. His father showed up with him in about an hour. Put the blade back on the table, with the money for it under the blade. He then dropped the boy's pants and lit his ass up right there in the middle of merchant's row!" I dodged around a lady with a greyhound. "He then told the crying boy to apologize to me. When he had done that I took the twenty dollars and gave the knife to his father to keep for him till he's old enough. There is a least ten thousand dollars' worth of blades in my tent. I'm not worried in the least."

She looked around her with a strange look. I saw the understanding of what the Society is starting to form.

"We're family. You don't steal from family." I caught her hand and pulled her into a tent.

I saw the Viking housemother I had thought about offering the cloven fruit too.

"Well hello, Jak."

"Hello, Momma Karen. My friend here wants to get all fancied up, but only has a little money. Can you help?"

She looked Dawn over. Then nodded.

In the end, Dawn went out about twenty of her dollars on a multi-colored, split legged skirt, and a blousy shirt, sort of a soft lavender color. She also got an embroidered vest and belt. They were a bit time worn, but still all in overall good shape.

I walked us over to my merchant friend with the big tent. He was off taking a shower so I got to talk to his assistant. My god she can fill out a chainmail bikini top. I traded on our credit to get her a good leather belt pouch and a leather frog to hang a mug from. The fired Clay mug she bought from there would hold a full twenty-ounce drink but didn't look much bigger than a coffee cup. We stopped by a jewelry merchant just up the street from my tent and she got an armload of bangle bracelets.

Looking over at my tent, I saw the flap was up and Kat was sitting in her chair watching us moving from tent to tent. She had an amused look on her face.

She got up and gave Dawn a hug as we walked over to the tent.

"Not that I didn't like your clothes I wore last time, but I was so worried I would spill something on them. These I don't have to be so careful with since their mine."

Kathrin laughed.

"Clothes get dirty, it's in their nature. If you need the skirt and bodice again you're welcome to it."

"Well, thank you," Dawn told her smiling.

I looked after her as she went to the back of the tent to change out her street clothes.

"I think your odds are better this time," Kathrin told me with a grin

I shrugged.

"I'm going to go get dinner. See you later." She leaned in and kissed me.

"Sure love."

I watched the sway of her hips as she walked off towards the food merchants. Her foxtail twitching, brushing from cheek to cheek.

Never been envious of a foxtail before.

Dawn came out from the back I saw her put her wallet, a cell phone, and the rest of her money into the belt pouch.

"Please turn the phone to silent," I told her having a seat.

"Okay. Oh, yeah no one wants to hear a phone ringing." She took Kat's seat. "Where did Kathrin go?"

"To get dinner. You hungry?"

"Oh no thank you. I ate not long before I got here. How about you?" she looked at my face. I could see some of the thoughts running through her head. The kiss by the car was near the front of those images.

"I could think of something I would like to eat, but I'm not really hungry for food," I told her reaching over to the table. I picked up one of my knives in a black leather sheath.

She blushed catching my meaning. Then she started to stammer as I handed the knife to her.

"Keep it."

"But ... But these are how you make your money," she protested." You must have spent hours making this."

I grinned and shook my head.

"A lot less time than you think." Reaching over, I showed her where to hook it onto her belt. "Kat and I have a system where we can turn out blades in a hurry."

"So she lives near you? Where you have your forge," she asked looking at the blade I had given her. I stopped her before she could touch the steel.

"The oils in your finger's can leave finger prints on the metal that won't wipe off. Kat and I share a house."

"I thought you said you and her weren't married outside this group." She looked up at me.

"Where not." I saw her start to ask another question, but I held up a hand. "If you ask I will tell you everything about Kathrin and me, and our relationship. But I give you warning now, most people disapprove of what she and I do."

Dawn blinked

"I'm sorry Jak. I'm being nosy. I must say you have me curious as hell now, though." She grinned.

I grinned back

"I don't like to keep secrets, but at an event, I also don't like to talk about my life ... offsite. Kat is even more extreme about it. She will not discuss anything about it at all.'

Dawn sat quietly for a while.

"Do I need a name?" she asked me looking up.

I shrugged and got to my feet to light the lanterns. "You don't have to. If you get to going to a lot of these events it's a good idea. It lets you have some separation from your normal life." I sat back down "How long can you stay?"

She shrugged. "I don't have a given time I have to leave."

I opened the wooden trunk beside me and pulled out a very dusty topped bottle.

"Then you're staying the night."

I reached down and caught the corkscrew that hangs from my belt and folded it open. (Yes, a lot of things hang from my belt. Get over it. If you can't, come by my tent and I'll make you a list. You can hang it from your belt.)

"What you gave me was very good. It didn't last long." She smiled. She unhooked the clay mug from her belt frog. (See, I've already got her started.)

"Then you'll love this." I pulled the cork and tipped the bottle over her mug.

"This is?" she lifted her glass to her nose.

"Oak aged vanilla mead."

She took a small sip then she slowly slipped back the whole glass. I saw her give a little shutter. "Oh my god, that's good."