Not a Chance in Hell

"No, the Greens are trying to make changes, protect the environment," she snorted.

"Yeah, maybe, but their financial policies are a joke. Still, at least if you vote Green, there's more chance the Nationals will get back in. So, go you."

The argument got fairly vociferous after that. We all had our own viewpoints. It was late when Lee said, "Rafe, you should stay tonight. It's getting late."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Thanks, Lee, would that be all right, John?"

I didn't care. I mumbled my acceptance. "Yeah, no problem."

In bed that night, feeling amorous, I tried to instigate some intimacy, but Lee snapped back quickly, killing the mood. "No way, buddy, not after today's antics."

"Your loss," I muttered and rolled away from her.

"We could still cuddle," she whispered.

"Why? If you don't want to make love, why would you want to cuddle?"

"Because I love you. I'm angry, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hold you." She snuggled up behind me, her hot body pressed against me. Her presence causing me to become aroused. Her arm dangling over my waist gave my dick a little caress. "Oooohhh, you are horny. Well let that be a lesson for tricking me."

"Let's not forget, you tried to trick me, as well."

She pouted sulkily. "Yes, I apologise for that. It was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. But you have frustrated me so much lately. I have tried to cook nice dishes, ones I think you would really like, and you refuse to even taste them."

"Yeah, if you didn't shove them down my throat, accompanied by a lecture, I probably would. Call me stupid, but I'm not being forced into anything. I'm proud of you for accepting a new way of life. Just don't expect me to fall in behind. I'm not a follower."

"I said I was sorry, babe. I guess I have been a bit of a terrorist. I will try to be more compromising."

Her hand grasped a little tighter, her lips pressing against my neck. "You were very naughty today, you know."

"Yes, I suppose I was. Look, Lee, if you don't want to make love, would you stop that."

She giggled. "No, I am punishing you. I am going to make you try to get to sleep with a hard on."

I lifted her hand off my dick. "You've had your fun. Goodnight."

In the morning, I woke early. I bounded out of bed and went out to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I didn't usually have a full breakfast, but that morning I was going to make her suffer. I got out a frying pan and chucked in a huge pile of bacon, then cooked up a couple of eggs and slices of toast.

The house quickly filled with the aroma. The smell of cooking bacon permeated everywhere.

When Lee emerged, she looked frustrated. "What are you doing?"

Shrugging, I replied, "Breakfast."

Irritated she snapped sarcastically. "You never cook breakfasts."

"Well, we have a guest. Thought I would go all out."

She gave me a disgruntled snort, and went about fixing her raisin-bran cereal. I did notice she pinched a rasher of bacon from the pan, though.

*****

Rafe became an even larger part of our life. It seemed every day he spent more time at our house. Lee seemed to really become enamoured with him. Whatever quirky stupid cause he promoted, she fell right in behind. She was passionately fighting for funding for the battered wives shelter, and he was helping.

He wasn't the only one. I managed through my work contacts to raise nearly twenty-grand. The day I walked in at home with the cheque was a memorable day. She was sitting at the table with Rafe and a couple of other volunteers, trying to dream up methods of fund raising.

She was so absorbed in their spreadsheets and proposals, I didn't even get my usual kiss. Disappointed, I threw the cheque on the table. When Lee picked it up she asked. "What's this?"

"What does it look like?" I asked.

When she stood there staring at it, I said, "It's a cheque for twenty-grand for the shelter."

Her expression changed and she jumped into my arms. "Oh my god. John, you wonderful man. How did you do that?"

"Just talked to some customers, and our company is putting in another ten-grand later this month."

Her lips crushing mine was all the payment I required. Rafe, as well, patted me on the back. "I guess corporate can help when they want."

Lee was on journey of self-discovery. She did her research, and she was like a sponge. She soaked up anything to do with spirituality. She opened up to faith. Not something I expected, but Rafe dragged her into a more conscious state of mind. I liked it, and hated it at the same time. I was never a religious person. Watching her read all of these religious scripts as she sought out something made me nervous.

We talked about it a lot. She didn't know what she was searching for. When I asked, she just said, "Something, I'll know when I find it. The world is missing something, John. There has to be a better way. More love, less violence."

Rafe played a bigger part in her search, and she leaned more on him than me. Fair enough, I wasn't exactly in synch with some of her kooky ideas. I guess that's why she leaned towards him. Even so, it started to annoy me. Call me jealous, or stupid, but it hurt that she looked to him for guidance and support.

It was after dinner one evening, we were sitting around chatting, when Lee asked him about some marital problem he was helping a young couple with. "How are they doing, Rafe?" she asked.

He sort of shrugged. "Struggling, but we shouldn't be talking about them. It's not right."

"Rafe, you're all right mate. Nothing will leave these four walls." I said.

He gave me a bit of a glare before turning to Lee, who said, "Come on, Rafe, you already told me most of it."

He nodded. "Yes, well, I shouldn't have told you that. They are young and struggling. The wife is not accepting the new arrangements very well."

"Oh dear." Lee sighed.

"What arrangements?" I asked, now feeling a little interest.

He gave me a deep glare. "I have been trying to help them set up a new relationship. They wanted to try polyamory."

"What the hell is that?" I asked. I knew what polygamy was, but polyamory was a new word for me.

Frowning he replied. "It is a form of marriage, where there are more than two members."

"Wow, dirty buggers." I laughed.

Giving me a very solemn glare, he blustered, "It is not just about sex, John. It is a proper marriage, but with more people. They share everything, not just sex. It is about love and sharing."

Intrigued, I had to know. "So this couple, is it like a swingers thing? Like wife swapping?"

"No, in this case it is the husband, his wife and the new partner, who is also a woman. Unfortunately, his original wife is not handling the arrangements at all."

I laughed loudly. "Well surprise, surprise. Not sure that there are women who would accept that. Christ, the poor bastard would be worn out."

Lee, offended by my glib approach, hissed. "John stop it. This is serious."

"Yes, very serious," Rafe added. "The wife kicked the other woman out."

"Oh dear, the poor woman must be devastated."

"They all are."

The reverent way he spoke about the relationship made me ask, "Is this a common thing? I mean do people actually live like that?" I tried to keep the snigger out of my voice.

"It is becoming popular again. Yes, there are a few. I am currently mentoring three couples who are in polyamorous relationships."

"So how does it work? Do they all live together? Is it like the Walton's, just one big happy family?"

"That is the best option, John, but not all are like that?"

"So is it always two wives?"

"No, in one of the relationships, there are two husbands and one wife."

That shook me a little. "How in gods name would that work?"

"Exactly the same as with two wives, in fact. Personally, I think that is the perfect arrangement. Women are so much better equipped to satisfy two men." His reverent tone surprised me. He was an intelligent guy. Surely he could see that would never work.

Lee giggled a little as she contemplated it. "Oh yummy, that does sound perfect."

"Oh yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you?" I teased.

She pouted coquettishly. "Yes. I would, it sounds divine. Think how much we could save on batteries alone."

Surprised by her quick response I laughed. "Sorry, but I can't imagine two men sharing a wife. It sounds ludicrous. Is it always just three people? Or can there be more? At least if it was four, it would be balanced."

Rafe seemed to think about it as he slowly sipped his glass of Merlot. "There can be as many as you want, but for me. I think three is the perfect number. More than that and it becomes difficult to manage the expectation, settle the emotions and find a balance."

"Do they all sleep together?" I asked.

He grimaced, as if my comment was in some way irreverent, or offensive. "No, John, not always. In some households, they all have their own rooms and just share when they feel like it."

"What about jealousy though? Surely there must be lots of arguments?"

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, fair comment. Jealousy does raise it's ugly head from time to time, but for open minded people, they can navigate past those petty emotions." He frowned. "Remember our discussions, John, Jealousy is such a poisonous emotion."

The room went silent for some time before I asked. "Have you ever experienced that sort of living arrangement?"

He nodded again. "Yes, and I found it very fulfilling."

"What happened? If that's the case, why are you now single?"

"The relationship I was in ended. Unfortunately, Julia, our wife, died during childbirth. The pain was a bit much for Ken and I. Ken, the other partner, and I do still stay in touch, though. We remain good friends, but it was hard on all of us."

Lee sprang into his arms and they embraced tightly. "Oh, Rafe, I'm so sorry. That must have been traumatic. Did the baby survive?"

"Yes, she lives with Ken."

"So the baby was Ken's?" I asked.

"Actually, we don't know. We never got DNA tests. We made a conscious decision to leave the answer to that question unasked."

"But she might be yours?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps, but Ken needed her more than me. He wanted to keep something of Julia."

"He was her husband, I assume?"

He nodded. "Yes, they were married ten years before I entered their relationship. We lived together as a family for five years."

Over the next few nights, Lee took great delight in discussing and teasing me about taking on another husband. I laughed her off, but she enjoyed making fun of my stoic approach. She used all sorts of opportunities. "Come on, John, he could mow the lawns, do the gardens. All the shit I have to nag you to do."

"So he would get all the shit jobs and I would get the good stuff, like making love to you."

"No." She giggled. "He would need to get some of the good stuff as well. That would only be fair."

I quickly replied. "On that nose we should get a maid as well. That way I could give her a little loving as payment. That would be fair wouldn't it. Much more useful than a gardener."

She sniggered playfully. "Oh yeah, as if you could keep up."

The teasing and mischievous banter was good fun. We joked about lots of things, she especially liked to include a little sexual teasing during sex. At first, I balked, but it was just some fantasy stuff, so, no harm, no foul.

I felt the relationship between Rafe and Lee growing, but it never even crossed my mind that it was anything other than friendship. Rafe seemed so completely different to either Lee or myself.

Guess I should have been paying closer attention.

It was little things, at first. Lee started to quiz me on open relationships and what I thought. The discussions were civil, never forced or angry. We always discussed them evenly. Lee, though, seemed to be more and more interested in it. I found books and magazines laying around. I think she did it on purpose, as part of her desire to not only educate me, but to get me to buy into her fantasy. I called it fantasy, because in my mind, that's what it was. In her mind, I think she saw it more as a possibility, a chance at something new and organic: something outside the norm. I didn't understand this element, because it's not like she was a rebel. She was, or at least used to be, cautious and conservative.

Now, she was reaching out. In retrospect, I think it was part of her search for this missing element, this unexplained entity she wanted so badly.

Whenever Rafe was over she radiated towards him, and they often sat close together talking about whatever topic was on the menu. Rafe, and Lee, seemed oblivious to my growing anxiety. That is, until I blew up.

It started off as a pleasant evening. Lee cooked a wonderful dinner and we were enjoying a rather flavoursome bottle of Shiraz. Lee, unsurprisingly, opened the conversation regarding polyamory. "Rafe, you're the expert. What do you think, can a polyamorous relationship work?" I got the feeling the discussion was rehearsed. They were trying to draw me in.

He smiled warmly. "You know it can. We have discussed this a lot. I have given you so many examples."

"Yes, I know, but John doesn't believe it can work." She glanced furtively at me, her eyes fluttering teasingly.

Rafe turned to me. "John, Lee and I have talked at length about this. I am unsure if you are fully aware of her desire. But with that said. I assure you, my friend, not only can it work, you would be surprised at how well it works."

I shook my head, I sensed us slipping down into this recurring conversation. He could say it as much as he liked. I just didn't believe it. "Sorry, Rafe, but I don't see it. Somebody would always be, for the want of a better description, missing out. There would be all sorts of bad feelings."

He looked nonplussed. "Nobody misses out on anything, John. What we are talking about is a completely open and honest relationship. It takes a very open mind, but I promise you, it is such an incredible experience." He lifted his glass and peered at me over the rim.

I wasn't convinced, I still couldn't see it. "I don't think you understand, Rafe, what I meant was. There are two men, what if they both want sex on the same night? One of them is going to miss out."

He gave me a frown. "Oh, I understood what you meant all right. There are options, John. There is nothing stopping the three partners from having sex together. Or if that doesn't work, the woman could have sex with each of the men independently."

I shivered as the images filled my mind. "That sounds horrible. Who wants sloppy seconds, for gods sake."

Lee gave me a rather scathing glare. "John, you're focusing on just one aspect. Why shouldn't all three lovers join in and make it a really enjoyable night? Have a proper threesome?"

"You're missing the point, Lee. Somebody would always get sloppy seconds, wouldn't they? There's only one woman. If both men are going to have sex with her, then somebody always gets sloppy seconds. Let me tell you, that does not sound appealing to me. In fact, it appals me."

Rafe jumped in quickly. "John, there are other options, I mean, what about oral sex? As a compromise. If the thought of having sex with your wife after another man has affronts you so much. You could just have oral."

On a roll, I bit back. "Yes, I suppose so, but then that would mean there would be no kissing. Nobody wants to kiss somebody who just swallowed another man's sperm. That sounds worse than the sloppy seconds."

Lee sighed in frustration. "Jesus, John. Talk about glass half full. All you are focusing on are the negative aspects. Think about some of the positive ones."

"Positives? If you can name me one, I will consider it." I blurted out angrily. I was starting to lose my cool.

Rafe said. "John, there are three people in the relationship. There are lots of options."

"Like what?" I snapped back.

"Well, there is the option of having a sexual connection between all parties." His face twitched nervously, as he watched me take in his words.

"Are you saying that the men have to be bisexual? I mean, shit, I just don't understand what there's to be gained for the husband. I see why the wife would be happy. She gets a second lover, all the husband gets is screwed. And not in a good way."

Rafe sipped his wine thoughtfully. "John, my friend. Honestly, yes it helps if the men involved are bisexual, that way, there is a full and complete connection. It isn't however necessary, or a requirement. The sexual energy created by the addition of another party is a benefit for all."

Taking a large gulp of my drink, I asked cautiously, "Are you bisexual?"

He nodded. "Yes." He didn't seem at all embarrassed to admit it. In fact, I think that was the closest I had ever seen him get to a smile. "John, you asked what's in it for the husband? Let me try to explain." He finished his wine before carrying on.

"There are all sorts of advantages. Like financial reasons. The household has three incomes. There are three people to help with housework, do the cooking, laundry, maintenance. There are three brains, all able to help with problem solving. Sexually, their is an opportunity to grow, explore new things. To push yourself, to test boundaries. Even if all three are not present in the room, let me tell you, the brain is the most incredible sex organ. The sexual tension experienced by the knowledge that your other lovers are having sex can be very empowering. It can be incredible."

"I can understand the incomes, although that in itself could create arguments. How do you decide who gets what?"

Lee dived in, feet and all. "Good God John. Forget about the money, The partners would obviously all have input. Think about the rest of it. The extra love that would be generated, the emotional connection would be so much stronger. I have to say, the sex sounds incredible. I can imagine it already. The caressing, all those extra hands. Three mouths kissing, licking. Three sets of hands touching. Damn, I'm getting excited just thinking about it."

"So you should," Rafe added. "Julia used to love having Ken and I in her bed. She said it was the most incredible thing she had ever experienced."

I could feel the anger bubbling away under my skin. The exuberance and excitement in her voice set me on edge. She was really into it. She gave me a very telling glare. "John, we should try it?"

Trying to diffuse my anger, I added chirpily, "Okay then, babe, I'll start interviewing some chicks from work. See if I can find anybody interested."

She scowled, but quickly tried to make it seem like a joke. "I meant a man, dummy."

"Why does it have to be a man?" I argued. "Rafe said it works with both sexes."

"Yes, John, I did say that. However, I also said, in my opinion it works best with two men," Rafe reaffirmed.

I shrugged. "I don't see why it's any different to me. If we were seriously going to do it. I would only be interested in women."

Lee scolded me. "Don't be so closed minded. I'm with Rafe, I think I would prefer two men. I mean, think about it, honey, you can rarely get it up twice in the same night now. How would you keep up with two women?"

Her words stung. I might not be a porn star, but I always thought my love-making was adequate.

She saw the look of consternation on my face and realised she had gone too far. "john, I'm sorry, babe, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to offend you, I was just being facetious."

"Yeah, well it doesn't make sense to me. You're not exactly that interested in sex, anyway. What would be the point in having an extra man to disappoint, saying, sorry, not tonight, dear. I have a headache."

She gave me a nasty stare. "You don't have to be nasty. I said sorry, and by the way, I only say that if it's genuine, although I have to say. I feel one coming on right now."