Not in That Way Ch. 08

You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down

You, you enchant me even when you're not around

If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down

I'm latching on, babe, now I know what I have found

Even driving in the middle of this freeway, with cars blazing past us going 80 miles an hour, it's just me and him. Gabe is next me, holding onto my leg as I clutch the steering wheel, wanting nothing more than to veer off to the shoulder and hold him. He sings out the chorus.

Now I've got you in my space

I won't let go of you

Got you shackled in my embrace

I'm latching on to you

When the song finally finishes, I'm desperately trying to not cry. Gabe looks over and sees me blinking really fast as we take the exit just outside of our hometown. I pull over once we hit the smaller streets and he comes over and swoops me up in his arms.

"Hey, hey, I didn't mean to make you emotional. I'm sorry." He says, trying to comfort me.

"Don't be sorry" I say, sniffling a bit. "I'm just finally getting used to having you. It felt surreal for the longest time."

He nods as continues to rub my arm. In a matter of seconds, I'm calm again and reminded of how everything seemed to work out- regardless of how fucked up it was several weeks ago.

"I love you, Gabe." He turns, listening to what I have to say. "I know I've said it a bunch of times since we've been friends but this is different." I pause, "I love you, but not in that way. Not anymore."

"You love me?" He asks quietly.

I nod, "Yes" I say, nodding my head excitedly.

Gabe immediately pulls me in close. He's hugging me so tight- with only the center console between us. He pulls off and he's wearing the biggest smile I've ever seen. I didn't think he could look so happy. He pecks at my cheek so many times that the car starts to shake. Eventually he pulls off and I can see his eyes misted with tears.

"I've always loved you, Dust. More than you'll ever know." He chokes up, "Even when I was still figuring things out, I knew that I loved you more than I could with anyone else."

We're tearing up like two fucking idiots on the side of the road while moms in their soccer vans pull out of the Target parking lot and give us weird looks. But we don't care. Gabe's said all I ever wanted to hear. And the way he's holding me and the feeling of security I get when I'm with him- that's the thing that's been missing this whole time.

The two of us are laughing as Gabe wipes the stray tears from his eyes. I hear my phone buzzing and see that it's Grace calling and am reminded that we had somewhere to be. "Great and now we have to face everyone." I say as I send her a quick text that we're on the way. "I always have the best timing."

Gabe hugs me tighter and kisses me on the cheek, "I don't care if we're an hour late. You just made me so fucking happy."

We kiss again and compose ourselves before I pull back into the road and drive the short distance to my parents' house. By the time we get there, it's just past 11, with most of the guests expected to arrive in an hour or so. If you think Grace is strict, you should see her plan a party. I'm sure she already has a laundry list of things she wants me, Gabe and Andy to do before everyone else gets here. I park and see that the only car here other than Grace and Andy's is Gabe's mom.

He nudges me, "I'd say now's a pretty good time if you wanted to tell them."

I chuckle, "Yeah I'd rather not do it in front of Grace and Andy's friends and a flock of screaming kids."

Gabe leans in and gives me a kiss, "I love you Dust" he says, as I return the sentiment. He grabs the stuff from the back and we make our way inside. This whole thing- tonight- it feels like deja vu. It feels like I've been in this same situation but with someone else a lifetime ago. I shake it out of my head because this reality is better than anything else.

I open the gate to the backyard and find the place intricately decorated with tons of blue and green streamers. There's a large table under the patio with some covered food already placed on top, followed by a table just at the end of that with a little balloon sculpture and a large number 1 inflatable balloon. Andy's by the grill with his back turned to us while my dad is in the corner breaking up a bag of ice while the girls adorably place cans of soda and bottles of water one by one in the cooler.

Both of our moms come out of the house together, each holding jars of candy filled to the brim for the display table. They call out when they see us and we hurry over to greet them. Dad and Andy stop what they're doing and come over too while the girls cling onto our legs.

"Hey everyone!" we say as we make our rounds with hugs.

I nudge Andy on the side, "On a scale of 1-10, how anal is my sister today?"

He shakes his head, "Eh a solid 6. She made me call the bakery twice to make sure they spelled Mikey correctly. She even made me send her a picture of the cake before I could leave when I picked it up."

Like clockwork, Grace comes out of the house, pushing Mikey in a stroller. She shakes her head when she sees me, "Leave it to you to show up when there's nothing left to do."

I turn back to Andy and show him 8 fingers as he laughs and turns back to the grill.

"You can blame me for that." Gabe says as she softens and pulls him in.

I give Grace a hug and despite her teasing, she's happy to see me and even happier to see Gabe. I lean down and Mikey's wearing the cutest smile as he grips onto my finger with his whole hand.

"Happy Birthday Little Dude!" I say which gets a laugh from him.

Gabe pulls out his presents and places them on the display table along with a few other boxes. He even remembered to get something for Ella and decorated it with shiny pink wrapping paper. He puts his finger on his mouth to remind her why and she giggles as she takes the box. Thinking of everything, he even got something for Lizzie too so she wouldn't feel left out. The girls disappear into the house, leaving us adults and Mikey in the backyard.

Grace puts her hands together and motions towards the display, "Dustin, I need your opinion. Do you think we should move this table to the other side? Dad says it'll be flooded with sun in a few hours and we might as well move it now."

Dad starts to chime in and our moms start to scatter to bring out the rest of the food and I see my opportunity fading. "Guys!" I say a bit loudly as everyone turns. "Before we get back to party mode, we kinda had an announcement." I say, suddenly feeling all eyes on me.

Everyone looks puzzled as I muster, "This is Gabe" I start to say as he comes up next to me and slings an arm around my shoulder.

Gabe's mom of all people cuts me off and says, "I'd sure hope so, I gave birth to him!"

Everyone breaks out in laughter as I physically facepalm, but still can't help but laugh too. Grace puts her hands up like I'm wasting too much time before I manage to try again.

"I mean... this is Gabe, my boyfriend."

Gabe comes in right where I left off, "We started dating."

I hear a pair of gasps from our moms as they hold each other. My mom, bless her heart, is tearing up as she shakes her head, "It's about time!" as everyone, including my dad, nod in agreement.

Gabe's mom chimes in, "You know, ever since we moved here and you two met, your mom and I had our little chats about how nice it would be for you two to end up together." She pauses, "But you guys were so determined that you were just friends that we never wanted to push you."

Gabe's wearing a slightly embarrassed look on his face after his mom and everyone else basically admits they've been placing bets on us. Still, I'm not surprised. He turns back to a smile, "Yeah well we kinda figured things out recently." He says as he pulls me closer.

I see the way that they're looking at us. They knew better, everyone knew better, but past Dustin and past Gabe were too fucking stupid to do anything.

"Wha-when did this happen?" Grace says with a raised eyebrow.

I make a face, "About a month ago."

Grace immediately slaps me in the back of my head and does the same to Gabe for good measure. We giggle like school kids as she scolds us, "You sneaky little-" she starts to say before Andy clears his throat and points towards Mikey- the child sponge who's ready to absorb whatever curse word she was going to say.

She glares at me, "No wonder you've been MIA these past few weeks!" She starts to nod, figuring it out, "All these years of you liking him and you wait this long to tell us?!"

Gabe interjects, "Well in his defense, I've liked him probably just as long."

I wince as Grace hits him on the back of his head for a second time.

"You did that to yourself." I mutter to him.

Gabe replies, "I know" as he soothes the sting.

Grace shakes her head, "Idiots, both of you!" she says with a sly smirk as the doorbell goes off. "We'll finish this later" she says, pointing to us as she disappears to see who it is.

Our moms kiss us both on the cheek as they go back into the house to finish prepping. Dad gives me a warm hug and does the same to Gabe who's visibly touched by the embrace. He takes Mikey with him as he goes to see what else is left.

That leaves Andy who gives Gabe a half hug before he turns to me. "For the record, she's pretty ecstatic that you guys are finally together" he adds, "she just doesn't wanna show it."

I nod with a laugh, "Typical Grace- only likes an idea if she came up with it herself."

Andy laughs with me as he gives me a half hug, "I'm really happy for you" he says, turning to Gabe, "both of you."

I smile, saying "Thanks bro." As we both go into the house to see what we can help out with.

The party goes off without a hitch as my parents' backyard fills up with mostly Grace and Andy's friends and their kids. The girls are having the most fun- constantly calling out to me and Gabe to watch them do little flips and jumps in the bouncing castle. Mikey is chill as ever, enjoying all the extra sweets that people keep giving to him that Grace pretends she doesn't see.

Sure enough, by 3pm, the display table is absolutely covered in sunlight. I look over to see my dad giving Grace one of his "I told you so" looks as Gabe and I go over to move it in the shade. We manage to catch it before the frosting starts to melt and only end up popping one balloon as we do so.

Throughout the party, Gabe's mostly by my side, apart from the moments he goes off to cater to the kids. There's this closeness that I notice now. I can feel him next to me and he's being attentive, and these are all things I probably didn't notice before but I do now. It's not like he suddenly started treating me better- because he always has. I guess, I'm just now finally allowing myself to receive it without feeling guilty.

By six, most of the guests have left, leaving our families lounging around as the sun starts to set. Lizzie and Ella are still playing, but you can see that their batteries are running low and they're long overdue for some sleep. Mikey knocked out about a half hour ago in my arms and despite the stroller next to me, I don't wanna put him down. He just looks too content and I don't wanna disturb him.

Most of the tables are cleared with the food put away already as we chit chat. Grace comes back out of the house with a bottle of wine and pours some for our mom's. Dad reaches into the cooler of beer he'd stashed away for when it was just us, and pulls out a bottle for everyone else.

"Well thanks everybody for an awesome party. This little guy sure had a blast and I take full responsibility for being extra high maintenance." She says as everyone laughs. "Same time next year?"

Gabe reaches over and taps his bottle on her glass, "I promise we won't be late next year."

I have to admit that I get butterflies when he says that. In Gabe's perfect world, there is a next year- one that includes me and my family and the two of us as a unit.

We all cheers and I look around to see our parents chatting away on the side. Gabe and Andy are standing around, beers in hand and from here, they look like old friends. Mikey's sleeping peacefully in my arms when I feel Grace tap me on the shoulder and sit down.

She leans in, "I never got to tell you how happy I am for you Dustin" she adds, "Gabe too, but more so you." She smiles, "You two have always had this connection that most people wish they can have with someone else."

Grace can be intense and she always loves to joke at my expense, but she never sugar-coats anything. Since I was born, she's always told it like it was, and despite how I felt about certain things, she always gave me her unashamedly brutal but always honest opinion. There were some nights spent with me venting about my situation with Gabe and she never held her punches. She loved him like a brother but she was always straight up with me about how mentally unstable it all was. To have this conversation right now, knowing it's not for anyone else's ears but my own, feels incredible.

"It took a long time to feel like I was deserving of someone who cared about me." I admit as we hear Gabe and Andy laughing by the grill.

I give her a hug in thanks and we sit there for a while and watch the girls play until they both get tired and join us on the outdoor couch. It almost feels like I'm in a daze- I almost start to doze off until I feel Gabe tapping at my shoulder. He smiles when I open my eyes and I stretch to see Grace waking up beside me as my dad clears away the last of the chairs.

"Hey, you wanna head out soon?" He asks as everyone else is clearly packing up and getting ready to leave. I yawn and nod as he takes me by the hand and we walk into the house with everyone else.

"You and Grace looked pretty cute napping on the couch." He teases, "Andy and your dad may have taken a few pictures."

We laugh as we start to say our goodbyes. My parents come at me from both sides, pulling me in for a hug. Eventually they let go and do the same to Gabe. Next comes his mom who embraces me especially tight. She whispers into my ear so no one else can hear, "I can't ever thank you enough for how good you've been to my son."

"He's been really good to me, too." I say as she nods and pulls him in.

We walk out with Grace and Andy and all of their sleeping kids. Once everyone's strapped in, Grace lingers outside the car asking, "What do you say to coming over next weekend? It'd be nice to get together without the old folks."

I chuckle and look over at Gabe who nods that he's free. "Yeah we'd love to" I say.

"Cool. I'll just have my people call your people and we'll pick a night."

Grace laughs at her own joke before we both give her a hug. She pulls away from me but holds onto Gabe a bit longer, "I guess this is where I give you the whole, 'if you hurt my little brother I'll beat the shit out of you' speech."

Gabe laughs nervously as Andy yells out from the driver's seat, "She's kidding bro."

He hugs her even tighter and says, "I love Dust more than anything" to which she nods her approval and gets in the car.

We walk over to mine and I look over to see Gabe looking around at the houses around us as the evening sky reaches a new shade of dark blue. He's smiling so big and I'm reminded that despite everything that's happened between us, we can start again.

"How you feeling?" I ask.

He slings an arm around me and pulls me close, "I have a feeling I'll be saying this a lot from now on, but I've never been happier, Dust."

"Me too." I say simply as he kisses me in the middle of the sidewalk and we head home.