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Click hereAs she finishes she says, "Shall I make us breakfast, and then have you fuck me in every room of the house?! "
Regardless of what those picky comments were, I love this story. I found it arousing to quickly read each other's points of view.
Go back to grammar school and this time pay attention to your English teacher.
"I think you misunderstand POV with narrative where the style is meant to be intentionally loose."
.
Was this supposed to make sense? If so, you failed. It's just gibberish to mask that you have no idea what you are talking about.
Honestly, I think you misunderstand POV with narrative where the style is meant to be intentionally loose.
the constant swapping and listing the pov was distracting, so much it was nearly impossible to read.