All Comments on 'Not What She Expected'

No where near what you were. Don't know what you could have done differently with your story; but it went downhill fast. Turned stupid. Being in the middle of a threesome with two young women is living a good life?

Who really thinks like that? As a percentage of the population, a very small minority.

Welcome to the world of Lit, where it's normal to have lovers, to be an adulterous man or woman, to be a cuckold or a cuckqueen.

It does exist, of course, but don't write this as if it were completely normal.

It even sounds like the two lovers are shocked that he didn't accept. It's absurd. Sorry.

Why didn't he go to the hospital and have his blood tested for drugs and press charges? This was a serious crime and it would have helped his divorce case.

I agree with Aardie. He saw this coming, could have died or had permanent damage from an overdose, and somehow let’s the neighbor go? I mean, really, who was the predator here? The wife is just one of those entitled people that is too smart and deserving of whatever they want to see their stupid moments until it is too late. Putting the husband in threesome at the end killed most of the sympathy for him because now he has sunk to same level as the neighbor.

Good one!

5

Good story once again, Mr. Hooked. I enjoyed it and gave 5*

Disappointing.

Point 1, he's a pharmacist.

Point 2, he suspected he was drugged.

Was expecting something developed from those points but nothing happened. Didn't have to be revenge, a good justice through law would suffice. At the end it seems like the character's profession was randomly assigned.

Nothing bad about this story. But, nothing new, unique, or compelling either.

Gave it a 5 because of your writing and it was a compelling story. But as I say way too many times after reading such a short story, FINISH THE DAMN STORY. You had a great plot going with deep character development. But the abrupt ending fell flat. As short stories go it was good but there's so much more here that could have been explored. Consider writing a part 2 to redeem yourself and tell us what happens to the characters.

She forgot she wasn't on birth control???? Huh. D

If he thought he was drugged his first stop would have been an ER to get tested. Then you could have developed this into a much better story. Drugging someone is a felony.

After Daryl is attack one night and his duck is cut in half and his face is wrecked so bad that no woman would look at him again, he could not work or support his little family. Lainey soon finds another man. Cheaters cheat. Blake finds a better woman and has a couple of kids and a happy life.

Good story all the to the last sentence.

So much inconsistency, you really phoned this in. 2*

Perfect. Rather than btb, simply disown her and be indifferent. Cut the knot, care no more, and move on.

The first stop for the husband should be ER for a blood test. You obviously wanted the reader to think he was drugged. Drugging someone gets time with Bubba with a big dick behind bars. When Big dick with a Big dick gets out of jail, with a big Asshole, compliments of Bubba with a Big dick, A Louisville Slugger renders Big disk's Big dick a Broke Dick! Just saying.

It’s a story that had promise. Rather it’s more of an outline for a potentially really good one. Needs more character development

A well written very sad story. A story that left me angry. I really don’t know how to vote, so I won’t

Why did she wait until his party where the Husband passed out? If she wanted him so much I'm sure she could've easily arranged it. Plus why would she FK him on more time in the morning if she was worried he would find out? Very good story Thanks...SK742

Darryl drugs you and fucks your wife and his consequence is getting your wife and a baby? I don’t think so!

I always enjoy reading one of Hooked stories. They are based on realistic events with no over the top revenge. As with the rest of his stories, I gave this a 5.

He should have immediately gone to the ER for a drug test. Then, MR. Big Dick would have the opportunity to entertain Bubba at the Grey Bar Hotel. Otherwise, an OK story.

4*. Not following thru on the drugging aspect of the story and the three-way ending brought it down for me.

He works in a pharmacy, is pretty sure he was drugged but did not go to the hospital to get tested. That is a special kind of stupid.

Too many stupidities in story. 1) As many others have pointed out, Blake should have got himself tested and then sworn a complaint against Daryl;

2) One cannot serve a divorce action until action is filed, which would have been impossible on a weekend;

3) Was not Blake fucking his wife before the Party? How did he know child was not his?

4) Ending was too rushed. No explanation of why Daryl and slut could not have had a good marriage.

5) Finally, standard LW motifs without much creativity. I do not understand the high rankings.

Why it is rated high? Because of couch potatoes that have anger issues with women that rejected them, so they rate every BTB or BTB-like story with 5 stars.

I think complaints about this story are not very relevant, this is a regurgitated plot (over and over, and over used) so nothing can make it better. The writer has no original ideas so he is just going over all the typical trope for LW.

Apparently he got tired of writing this and forgot to add a quick "morally high and beautiful" rebound for "Blake" and some beating for "Daryl".

It was “OK”, but a little too straightforward for me to get fully engrossed in your universe. Still, always enjoy your work. 4.2*

A little to dry, meaning it needed a little more action, maybe some retribution or something. The mother taking our MCs side was about it. The wife made a mistake, 3 times..............4 stars

You are obviously burnt out on them and it really showed in this overly boring with an even more bland ending. Even your writing was very weak almost like a kid being forced to do their homework.

Time to move on to other genres or take a really long vacation to recharge your author batteries.

If Blake is a pharmacist, and even mentioned he thought Daryl might've drugged him, why didn't he go to the ER for a drug test? Popping positive might've gotten Daryl a visit from a detective, especially if his name was associated with any other sexual assault complaints; finding rohypnol or simiar drugs in the apartment would really mess up Daryl's weekend. Just a thought.

liked it, just too short.

have Lainey find date rape drugs hidden in Daryl's medicine cabinet

Another great story. 5*. He had an inkling and acted on it.

Excellent story as I do believe that the best revenge is living well. I am frequently annoyed w/ the stories that feel the need to punish the interloper. However, while immoral, an interloper has no contract w/ the husband, so in my book, the partner/wife is always fully to blame. In this story, some payback for Daryl could have been justified as he drugged the husband, which is more than just screwing the wife. Still, I am pleased to see a story where the husband just dumps the cheater and lives better.

Wondering why Blake didn’t get bloodwork done the morning after the party. 5 months is a long time to have Lainey and Daryl in his face. In a case like Blake’s, I’d try to find a way to break the lease, even if it meant paying a couple of extra months’ rent or losing the security deposit.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

As others wrote, NEEDED a blood test, then it's usually a felony. Big miss.

I will read every story Hooked posts... I think I have so far. Nice job.

Kinda sucked. Paint by numbers story

It feels like you gave up at the end, Sadly not one of your better efforts. lots of room for more

tension and drama but you stepped over each opportunity like they were landmines..

This story skipped the pacing and plot highlights I usually really enjoy seeing in your amazing

stories, but not this time. maybe one you quickly wrote in an evening's hours..

your stories have gotten really boring and predictable

What a terrible badly written badly design stupid story. So many things happen in the story and they're rushed through with only a paragraph or sentence.

EXAMPLE 1 The husband knows or strongly believes he was drugged against his will. Why doesn't he find out? Why does the wife wonder if her husband was in fact drugged? He could have been seriously killed or suffered a stroke or some kind of bad reaction to being drugged. !!!!

Having the bad guy drug the husband so he can fuck a hot wife which places the husband's life in jeopardy and the wife not knowing about it is a really huge plot hole to not even discuss

EXAMPLE 2 ..the main character knew that his wife was seeing the neighbor and was being seduced. That should have been a whole lot of extended long conversations between the husband and the wife.

EXAMPLE 3 Another example of this blown story which could have been a lot better is the husband's non-reaction to the fact that the wife says it was the best sex she's ever had. The husband's reaction is very short and not particularly strident or powerful.

.

A truly awful badly Written story

Poorly executed.

He's drugged and does nothing for revenge? Not even getting his blood tested and having the guy arrested?

It was better than most but still …unsavory.

He passes out and his wife cheats on him? And then she says it’s her body and she’ll fuck whom she wants, which is true; but she was also married to the man she loved. So at what point was she going to realize the consequences weren’t worth it?

And then she shacked up with the guy who drugged her husband just so he could fuck her. And she didn’t even think about getting pregnant?

What kind of a half wit is she? How could she be so intelligent and be so dumb?

Hooked1957 the cuck,

Not as good as the other works of Hooked.

But hey I'd take it as long as it is not a cuck story.

I like how the ex-husband dumped the wife.

As people have said in the previous comments. So many issues that make no sense. Definitely know where near your usual writing. I can only rate this 1*.

I normally enjoy your stuff. There just wasn't much here for me to hold on to. Sorry 3*

The average male erection length is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches. The average circumference is 5 inches. This is the same for white and black men. Asians and Hispanic are somewhat smaller. The majority of women prefer average as to large. Large is generally uncomfortable and may even do damage requiring surgery. The myth of large is better is damaging to both men and women. Only 25% of women have orgasms with penile penetration. Foreplay is the key to women achieving orgasms. Writers would do well to avoid promoting “big is better” and the “BBC myth.”

You wrote some good stories before, but this one is awful.

Blake Masters should have gone to the police and gotten tested for drugs. Why he and his wife were there in the first place is a fucking mystery. Also, it would have been nice to have Lainey see the flow of women in and out of Blake’s apartment. Do you mind if I expand on this Hooked? I’ll give this a 5 to try and get you up in the 4.4+ where this story should be.

Hmmm! Not up to your usual standard, I'm afraid. The storyline was decent enough and the MC's reaction to his wife's appalling behaviour was also but what ruined it for me was your use of the ludicrous, juvenile and thoroughly worn out 'big cock' cliche. It's way beyond time that the authors on this site rid themselves of the notion that all women lose complete control of themselves when confronted by a larger than average penis.

The only way you could have made it better would be if Lainey had given the laced drink to Blame. 5 stars

Nowhere near your best, more like something you rushed off to meet a deadline. Really had the makings of a really top yarn.

So, do you just get antsy if you go a week without punishing imaginary women?

A well written story, but a poorly told one. The character's behaviour was inplausible and stretched credulity way beyond where it should have been. In Loving Wives, you are one of the strongest authors. This story was complacent and well below where you should be writing.

This is a solid story but I never understand why a guy continues to referee to is in-law as mom and dad during or after a divorce. Had Blake refereed to Lainey’s mom as Mrs whatever during the call I would have scored this higher.

As for continuing to live in the apartment across the hall from the cheaters, Blake could have told the apartment manager what was happening and asked to move to a different unit if one was available it paid the fee to break the lease and move out early.

Good story until the end, then it went to crap

Last sentence fucked up the whole story which was going great till then…anyway what day expect from

hooked?

Not a bad effort, and this author writes well, but too many plot holes and out of character behavior:

1.) No woman “forgets” she’s not on birth control. She’s never heard of the morning after pill? Or abortion? Even Ron DeSantis in Florida allows it up to the first six weeks.

2.) Daryl would have dumped Lanie immediately when Blake divorced her. A slime bucket like him would never take responsibility for a baby.

3.) Blake realizing he was drugged - and having expected Lanie to cheat for over a month - would have gone to an ER and gotten tested and then gone to the police and had Blake charged with a felony.

4.) Blake in a threesome???

Finishing a good story so quickly cost you point, having her forget she wasn’t on the pill any longer cost you another. Really what female does that?

A good story ruined by a trite ending.

Scores 3/5

Awful tale with a narcissistic slut wife and an idiot husband. In the end SHE "is living a good life", not him. No payback at all and so, totally unbalanced and one-wife-sided tale. No good.

only 2 things made this a decent story. He dumped the bitch, and the last sentence.

Once he had the idea that he was drugged, he should have post haste went to the nearest hospital for a toxicology screening test. Spiking a drink is a felony offence in the states if thats where the setting for this tale occurred. At the very least Daryl would have been investigated if not outright arrested and charged.

Oh dear not good not good at all

In real life, humans make bad choices near every day, some worst than others. I wake up every day and chose my needs every day. 47 years now with the same wife. If shes a bad choice tomorrow, she's out. She knows it from the first day I met her. I chose a good one. She says the same for me.

FYI, American universities stopped offering 5-year Pharmacy degrees in the 90s, going to a mandatory 7-year program, instead, for people who wish to dispense. This story really didn't have much in the way of plot or interesting story lines. Not one of your better efforts, IMO.

Not your best. Good but not great.

Nothing but more of the same. Does anyone writing in the LW category have an original thought anymore?

Not one of your best. But in a field where most of the cuckcelebrators struggle for 3 stars?

I appreciated the 'I saw it coming' approach.

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The fact Blake saw it coming, allows for him to emotionally prepare himself for what he saw as the inevitable (and it proved so), in which he was able to emotionally distance himself at the critical time. "Mourning in advance" as it were. To me, that adequately explains how Blake was able to so completely walk away.

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I applaud the nod toward Daryl loving his child, yet feeling just friendship toward Lainey, and vice-versa. I found that simple thing very realistic, probably common, and a fine piece of crafting. Well done.

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Be well!

If you think you were drugged, go to the hospital. So stupid

She didn’t “love” Blake. If she did, she would not have fucked Darryl.

.

Best part of this is that Darryl is saddled with a kid and a bitch he doesn’t love.

.

3 ***

Really? You went with the tired 12" trope? Do you realize how infinitesimal the odds of a man having that size dick are? This was boring, full of used-up tropes and less-than-mediocre.

Another great story with a happy ending for the wronged spouse. Hope Daryl enjoys life as a sometimes father

"What if I don't want to be his? I'm already yours," - Then she'll give up Daryl.

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Sigh. Who cares how they met? What does that have to do with what's happening now?

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"So you know I'm going to want to do that again," - She says it was a "mistake," yet she wants to do it again.

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"I thought he loved me enough to fight to keep me." - As has been said many times, he shouldn't have to fight to keep her, SHE should be fighting off interlopers.

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I agree with those who say that he should have been drug tested.

Good story as always, Mr Hooked.

5 stars

Cagivagurl

Stay away from a 10, unless you are one too, or incredibly successful at something. Find a so called 7 or 8 that loves to fuck suck and everything in between

Ok story. Nothing to get excited about one way or the other.

There was no build up. Not emotion generated.

The two of them committed a felony which could have killed him and he did nothing about it.

That is when the wheels fell off of this story.

They could have easily come down the hall and found him dead on the couch, drowned in his own vomit, then the autopsy toxicology report would have found the drugs and voila aggravated 1st degree murder (depravity).

What a crap ending.

Meh! This was bad. What kind of f’ing moron suspects he was drugged and doesn’t go to the hospital or police? If there are people that f’ing stupid, I sure don’t want to read about them. It’d be easier to believe in a Martin slut ray. Guess the writer ran out of home runs and finally hit a foul ball.

Should have been better

Meh. Weak is about the best I can do. Zero emotion or excitement.

I looked up limp dick wimp in the dictionary and there was a picture of Blake.

Writing was good, as would be expected from this author, but some of the story plot points were pretty much poetic license and have been mentioned by other commenters.

If Blake really thought he had been drugged, he would have gone to be tested, especially being a pharmacist.

Daryl seemed to be a confident player, so why would he resort to drugging Blake when he should have known that Lainey was interested and he would get her eventually.

Was Lainey involved in the drugging plan?

Lainey is thought to be fairly intelligent, so why when she is on the defensive in explaining herself the next day, would she admit to Blake that sex with Daryl was the best of her life and further complicate things by going on a rampage with the cheater's trope of 'it's her body, her life, Blake doesn't own her, she did it, she's glad she did it and more than likely she'll do it again'.

Claiming she loves only Blake and wants to stay together, why would she go right back to Daryl rather than to her parents or a friend's place. Not a very smart move if she has any hope of staying married to Blake.

Forgetting she has stopped taking birth control, pretty hard to believe.

Finally, the 3some at the end was a real disappointment. A better ending would have been Blake finding and dating a woman he believes he can trust.

You have provided a solid outline for what should be an expansive story. It should address the fact he was drugged. Lainey should be made keenly aware of that. I tired big dicked man of color enticing stupid white woman to fall into bed is old. Focus on Lainey the dumb slut. Go into detail on her shame, remorse, and contrition. You have laid out what can be a marvelous story. You got the tools and the talent! Deliver Miller Time. I look, forward to it.

All the best, Dave

standard LW formula... get cheated on, divorce her, then magically hook up with other women 8 seconds later. Kind of a yawner, tbh.

Full of the standard clichés

This one is thoroughly useless: Don't insult my intelligence

This submission shows signs of being hurriedly written and submitted. Introducing the possibility the MC had been drugged without addressing the obvious option of blood testing in the ER with a criminal investigation if positive is an omission an author with Hooked1957's degree of experience should manage to avoid. There is not a single element of the plot that is original or even an unexpected twist of a well worn trope. The dialog is lackluster - not badly written so much as predictable and dull despite the intense emotions at play. It is almost always a pleasure to read a story from this author. I suspect the LW readership would prefer to await Hooked1957's next submission until he has applied the full range of his talents on it. THAT is worth waiting for with great anticipation.

However enjoyable the story was, I had some problems with it. 1) Not sure, but think before serving the divorce papers, they have to be filed in the court. He said he had them made up 1mo. prior. Huh?

2) Blake's right to give her up so quickly. It WAS 1 night. Tho there's almost no discussion the next day except him telling her to go to her lover's house, everything HAD to be preplanned, with Darryl drugging Blake's drinks. The fact that she'd fuck him while her husband's sleeping doesn't bode well for any excuses. A mistake? Me no tinks so!! (me trying to be sarcastic)

3) Blake's mother in law: I can't believe that she'd actually not attempt to find out if there'd be any reconciliation, including seeing a councilor. After being told what happened, she jumps on Blake's side. I'd expect her to be at least somewhat neutral, but saying most of what she told Lainey during the phone call.

4) Nothing going forward about Blake & any women he met. Neither about Darryl & Lainey. As such, the ending appeared to be rushed. No real pleading from Lainey for forgiveness, just a sentence or 2. She then belittles her husband & says it's her body, but doesn't do anything else at the time with Darryl. She also, by returning to the apartment to talk (however short) to Blake, doesn't appear to act on that comment.

5) He thought he's drugged but went to a bar instead of being tested in the hospital? Could've given Darryl all types of financial & legal pain. A special kind of stupid.

Not too much different: a wife sees another guy she wants to bed, then either does the act then expect forgiveness, or she tells her husband she's going to've sex with the guy & expect the husband to accept it.

Debating between 3 & 4, with all the above, I can only give a 3. Bob

Good story, the ending was just Ok. Daryl should have been cheating on Lainey s after the baby and dumps her.

There's no "payback" to Darryl. He's maybe drugged but doesn't get it checked out at the hospital. If proven, Bake could've sued, at least call the police. That could be the payback. Divorce from his wife is hers. Mom in law automatically taking Blake's side, no suggesting professional help. But what she said to Lainey was gold.

Lainey, seeing her husband out, goes upstairs with Darryl to have sex that night and the morning. Returning to her husband, she says it was the best sex she ever had. Then she expects him to just take her back? Darryl and Lainey had to do some planning for all that to happen.

Knowing she and Blake wanted to have children, she got off her birth control pills. And forgot? No emergency pill thought of?

As stated below, the ending seemed to be rushed. Going further, half the story seemed that way. 3*** gr Disappointing story, hoped for better from this author.

Not bad. Though I fail to understand why all these folks suspect that they have been drugged. But, fail to be tested? If positive a criminal/malicious act occurred. Could have gotten rid of the wife and Daryl at the same time.

First thing I noticed when reading the comments is that there are none from Anonymous so this one will probably not get posted but what the hell. A good story that didn't need a lot of additional filler. Written in a straight forward style with a reaction that makes more sense then so many BTB stories. The best thing a husband can do when he sees the future is get ready and close his heart to the past and just move away from the cause.

The quality of this writer’s work has slipped tremendously. Every story he posts is a cut and paste job. At least his cheating wife characters aren’t named Tracy anymore.

Blake, for a guy who is supposed to be a pharmacist is colossally stupid about drugs. When he woke up on Blake's couch and immediately suspected that he was drugged a real pharmacist would have gone to the ER to be tested and then called the police from the hospital. I know that this is a fictional story and is supposed to be a entertaining writing exercise that isn't supposed to be based on reality but at that point, the entire plot falls apart.

Good one, H! Thanks!

Not for me this one I'm afraid .

Looks like Blake has little faith in his wife's ability to remain faithful so he makes plans for the day when she slips .

That's not much of a marriage is it ?

Daryl has an eye for the ladies , married or single . And Lainey is on his radar .

It would appear he drugs Blake in order to seize his opportunity . On their infidelity being discovered there is the admission from Lainey that the sex was probably the best ever and she wants to continue on a casual basis .

Blake sees divorce as inevitable .

Why didnt Blake get the Police involved and get his blood tested for drugs ? Surely he would want to get some kind of payback ?

An easy divorce and living your life well doesn't really seem the real deal for me .

DK .

Only 3 * for this effort . I truly feel the ending could have been more , well damaging maybe ? !!

good story.... *****