Nothing Else To Do Ch. 04

AJ hit the end meeting button, waited to make sure that the camera turned off, then closed the program. He took a deep breath, held it for as long as he could, then let it out slowly. He did this three times before he got up from Ian's desk, running his fingers through his hair.

The gel he'd forgotten he'd used to tame his corona-long hair was tacky and he pulled his hand away quickly, then wiped the goo on his pants. He then tried to wipe the goo off his pants, instantly regretting wiping half-dry gel on his good suit pants.

Ian had made fun of him for wearing them, saying he didn't need pants for a conference call. He wasn't going to take the risk, even if Ian was theoretically correct.

He took two more breaths before he opened the door to Ian's office, half expecting Ian to have been standing there, but he wasn't. AJ closed his eyes again and took another breath, trying to calm the panicky feeling in his stomach. As he walked to his bedroom he began overthinking each and every interview question, which just tied his stomach up in more knots.

He changed, then decided he wanted to shower the gel out of his hair, so he did that, then got redressed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. He opened the bathroom door, then squeaked in surprise.

"Shit, Ian!"

Ian snorted, leaning against the wall, his eyes still down on his phone's glowing screen. "Why're you so jumpy?"

AJ shrugged, switching the bathroom light off. He walked past Ian towards the kitchen. Ian followed behind him, his attention still on his phone. "I always get like that. Like, I'm cool under pressure, but afterwards I do all the falling apart that I would've done in the stressful time or whatever."

"Sounds like a good skill to have."

He sniffed. "Unless you're me, then you stress about it for the next five months."

Ian chuckled. "How'd it go?"

"Oh, yeah. Hey, thanks for letting me use your computer, I think the whole 'not having a camera' part of my laptop would've defeated the purpose of a video call interview." He opened the fridge and surveyed the contents, then closed it again, disappointed that something didn't immediately call out to him. "Do you think that we're all just in a really big RPG and every time we open the fridge we save our game?"

Ian hopped up onto a clean space on the kitchen counter. "Hardly. First, it would be the most boring game in the history of games. Second, the fridge is like Pavlov's dog or something, right? Like, we train ourselves that the fridge has something inside it that will make us feel better. A stress response, since we no longer fight off wolves and bears or some shit."

"I guess it would be a super boring game. I mean, it's the Sims, but even more boring. At least the Sims had jobs and stuff."

"So the interview didn't go well?" Ian asked, looking up for the first time. How was he so freaking handsome? It wasn't fair, but AJ wasn't complaining. Ian was his, at least for now.

AJ shrugged, then sat down at the overly cluttered table. "Eh. Like, sure, I think it went well, but, like, I dunno. I thought it went well while I was doing it, but now I'm wondering if I didn't do as good as I thought."

"What'dya mean?" Ian asked, his full attention on AJ making him feel squirmy.

"I dunno. Like, I coulda had better answers or something."

Ian snorted, then returned to his phone. "Listen, it's a warehouse job. If you get it, good, you can start making money again until this all passes by and we can go back to our regularly scheduled lives. If not, then whatever, right? You won't be any worse than you were before your interview."

"Yeah, you're right, I guess. I just, I wanna help out, financially. I don't have enough money to pay my half of the rent again next month yet." AJ looked down at his hands, feeling guilty.

"We went over this, it's fine. I don't care. Like, we need to take care of each other, right. Best friends, right?"

AJ was suddenly filled with very conflicted emotions. He couldn't explain it, but even though it wasn't how Ian meant to say it, taking care of each other and best friends in the same statement made him sad somehow. Like, they should be more than best friends. What was more than best friends? He didn't know, but he knew he wanted more. Just, he didn't really know what he wanted more of. Maybe just Ian.

"Yeah," he agreed, still glum. "Just, I'm glad, I mean, thanks. Like, a lot. You, I mean, I, like, owe you so much already."

Ian jumped down off the counter, then put his hand on AJ's shoulder. His touch sent AJ's heart to his throat and he tried not to show how much just being close to Ian was messing with him. "I'll always be here for you, AJ," Ian said. He squeezed his shoulder firmly, then left his hand there for another few seconds before he headed out of the kitchen. "Wanna watch something on Shudder?"

His phone vibrated somewhere in the middle of a trippy, confusing movie called Mandy that had Nicolas Cage basically playing himself, but maybe on acid or something. He'd never done acid, but this seemed like what it would feel like. The interruption was welcome, this movie was making his head swim, though Ian seemed to be enthralled.

He stepped into his room to take it, there was no caller ID on it. "Hello?"

"Ah, hello. Is Andrew Bryan there?" a woman said. Her voice sounded familiar.

"Um, yeah, this is him. I mean, me." He rolled his eyes at himself, irritated that he couldn't just speak like a normal human for ten seconds.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Bryan. This's Tracy from FedEx, we spoke earlier today?"

"Oh. OH. Yeah, okay. Hi," he stammered, flustered and suddenly nervous.

"I was calling to offer you the position as receiving clerk, if you were still interested?"

AJ's heart was in his throat, and his stomach was doing happy, yet nauseating somersaults. "Yeah, I mean, yes, please, that would be fantastic. Yes."

She chuckled. "Excellent. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'll process your paperwork, then send you an email with all of the forms you'll need to fill out. You should get it in a day or two, depending on how fast we can get this through the hiring queues and then through HR. Today is, let's see, Wednesday, so if you don't hear anything by Friday give me a call at this number and I'll see what's going on. When can you start?"

"As soon as possible," he said, pacing his room.

"Okay, so get that paperwork filled out, and once it's filed you'll get a date to show up for processing. Any questions for me?"

"Um," he stammered. "Ah, I don't think so?"

She chuckled again. "Well, if you do have any between now and then, you can reach out to me and I'll try to get them answered for you. I'm looking forward to working with you, Andrew."

"Me too," he said. "I mean, I'm looking forward to working with you, not me, um. Yeah. Sorry. Thanks, so much, I mean, I really appreciate this opportunity."

"I'll talk to you soon. Take care," Tracy replied, sounding amused.

"Yeah, thanks again. Bye," he said, then thumbed the red end call button harder than was necessary.

"Yes!" he whisper-yelled. "Yes!" He jumped up, then ran in a happy little circle before he forced himself to calm down. He was still pacing his room, talking himself through what he would need to start working again when Ian tapped lightly on his door.

"Sounds like good news in here?" Ian asked, pushing his door open without waiting for AJ's response.

"I got the job!" He was still pacing so he stopped himself, then turned to Ian. "I got the job!" He hugged Ian before he even thought about it. Ian tensed, then hugged him back, but that he tensed up first had AJ pulling away quickly. "Sorry."

"Oh," Ian said, sitting on his bed, "Well, that's good news then. When do you start?" The words were right, but his tone seemed wrong, kind of hollow. AJ couldn't put his finger on it, but Ian's body language reinforced his initial hunch that maybe Ian didn't actually think the news was all that great.

AJ bit his lip, his excitement dulling down a little. "They're gonna email me some paperwork, then I'll get a start date once that gets processed."

"Oh, cool," Ian said, again his tone just slightly off. Maybe AJ was reading too much into it. "Yeah, that's awesome. I'm real happy for you, AJ."

"Yeah, I mean, I dunno. It's just part time work right now, but if I do well there's lots of room to move up," he said, getting a little more excited again.

"Part time?" Ian asked, looking slightly relieved. Why was this bothering him? It was good news. Maybe he really was just reading too much into it. "Do you know your schedule?"

"In the interview she said it would be Thursday through Sunday, just weekends. Four to midnight. I'm super pumped, it doesn't feel real yet. I mean, I got the job!"

"Nice. Good job, AJ," Ian praised, but to AJ it still sounded half-hearted. Ian stood up, heading towards his door. His lack of excitement over AJ's good fortune was irritating him. "Wanna finish the movie?"

AJ frowned. "You don't seem, is something wrong?"

"Huh?" Ian asked, already in the hall. "What would be wrong?"

He followed him out. "I dunno. I mean, you seem, like, upset or something."

"Nope," Ian dismissed. "Not upset. Just, you know." Ian shrugged, but he didn't turn around. "So, you wanna watch the rest of this?"

"Nah," AJ said, still perturbed. "I'm gonna go get stuff organized. I'll have to make meals, like I can cook stuff while you're at work and then you can just reheat it for dinner when I'm working. Or I'll pack a lunch, and just make double for you. I need to go grocery shopping, and I need to get some new shoes, steel-toed, I don't have any. Maybe my mom can loan me some money..." he said, turning back to his room, talking more to himself than to Ian.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night, his body still filled with nervous excitement. Around eleven he heard Ian through the wall. It started soft, just quiet moans, but built up quickly. He and Ian both knew that the walls were thin, he knew Ian wanted him to hear.

His face grew hot as he listened to Ian's pleasured sounds. His dick firmed up more quickly than he'd like to admit as he listened through the wall. He scooted closer, until his back was against it, just wanting to feel a little closer to Ian.

"Mmm," Ian moaned. "That's right, suck my cock. You're my little cocksucker, aren'tcha AJ?"

His dick bounced at the sound of his name. He touched himself, but still couldn't bring himself to pull it out. It ached in his underwear, needy and demanding as it filled with blood. He was so hard he could feel his heartbeat in his groin, just above his balls.

"You like it, you like sucking my cock, right AJ? It looks like you do. You like the taste of my cock?"

He moaned, but as quietly as he could. It felt like a violation if he enjoyed himself without actually blowing Ian. His lips felt lonely, his mouth too empty. He swallowed hard, realizing he was salivating. His dick bobbed as he swallowed, calling his back attention to it.

Ian hadn't done this in a while, he'd just be naked somewhere and wait for AJ to walk by. Or, he'd come into AJ's room naked already. It was a pretty common occurrence now, maybe three or four times a week. So, why was Ian masturbating?

Ice slipped down his spine and settled in his belly. Maybe Ian had grown bored of him, or tired of it, or he'd done something to irritate him. He scoured his memory, trying to think of something he might have done to slight Ian, but didn't come up with any serious infractions.

"Suck my cock, AJ," Ian said, louder than before. "Get me ready, cause I'm gonna fuck that tight ass of yours. I'm gonna take your virginity, AJ."

Ian wanted to fuck him? He swallowed hard, his dick refirming with this new information, despite his uncertainty over if he wanted to actually have anal sex. His dick hurt, ached, longed to be touched over the revelation. Ian fucking him was confusing, but also hot. His asshole twitched and his dick bobbed as he imagined Ian masturbating to the thought of fucking him in the ass.

AJ thought about jerking himself and realized he was over his aversion, at least around Ian, but he didn't want to jerk off alone. He wanted to do it with Ian. He left his throbbing dick alone, focusing on listening to Ian's performance, just for him. The thought made him giddy.

"Gonna cum, AJ. Swallow my cum down like a good little cum whore..." Ian grunted, then moaned. AJ recognized the sound of his orgasm, imagined his creamy white spunk landing on his hand, or maybe his toned belly. He could almost smell it, his mouth watering as he remembered how it tasted.

He wanted to cum so bad, but he didn't. Ian's room grew quiet and he settled back down into his bed, his back to the wall so he could still feel close to Ian. His dick ached and his balls were too tight, but he ignored them, blushing furiously as he continued to think about Ian maybe wanting to fuck him.

He reached around and pushed his hand down inside his boxers, then pushed his finger against his tight hole. He shivered and pulled away quickly, filled with longing and shame. A few minutes later he repeated the process, pushing his finger a little more firmly against his bud. It felt weird, but also kinda pleasant.

He fell asleep with his finger pressed against his asshole.

The next day he was nervous about seeing Ian, as if something had changed. He supposed something had, but it wasn't with Ian. It was with him. Ian's little performance was almost all he could think of, his mouth watering and his dick half-cocked all day. Ian was already at work when he woke, and instead of having lunch with him, he decided to go grocery shopping, leaving him food and a note.

Ian worked late and AJ ate alone, but nothing he ate today seemed to satisfy this craving he had. He was fully aware of his current oral fixation addiction, Ian had trained him well. His sexual frustration turned him pissy, so he locked himself in his room knowing that if he talked to Ian he'd be an asshole.

It was still bothering him that Ian hadn't been happy for him getting a job. Ian should be thrilled, he could stop paying all the rent, AJ could finally pay his fair share. Well, after two weeks of work when he got his first paycheck at least. He'd pay Ian back and they'd be on level ground.

Ian knocked on his door around eight. Being alone with himself just made his petty anger worse, and he snapped at Ian through the closed door. "Busy!"

He heard the doorknob turn, but the door didn't push open. "You okay?" Ian asked through the closed door. "Can I come in?"

He usually didn't ask, and that just pissed AJ off even more, for no good reason at all. "No. I'm busy."

"Oh. Okay," Ian said, sounding disappointed. "Nite."

Ian didn't masturbate that night. The next day was the same, AJ actively avoiding Ian.

Ian tried to corner him around dinner, but he escaped to his room again. Ian knocked softly, but he pretended not to hear it. For whatever reason, every day that passed had him more irritated at himself, and at Ian.

He didn't get any emails from his new job on Friday, and by the time he called his contact had already left for the day. On top of that, Ian was acting all snarky and smug about it when he complained to him. The combination had his bad mood spiraling into a poisonous void.

He locked himself in his room right after dinner, unable to face Ian and his attitude.

A bit later he heard Ian's soft knock on his door. "Go away, I'm busy."

"Busy doing what?" Ian snapped.

"Stuff."

"Bullshit. What's going on with you, dude? You've been weird all week!"

"Have not." He had.

"Liar," Ian retorted. The way he said it pushed all of AJ's buttons. Like, why the fuck did he even care, if he couldn't be bothered to be glad he got a new job?

"Whatever."

There was a pause. "You wanna go out? Like, we can go get some takeout or ice cream or something?"

"No." Why was he so angry? Why was he feeling so conflicted? Of course he wanted to hang out with Ian. He wanted Ian...

That was it. He wanted Ian. Not in a friend kind of way. He wanted to be special to Ian, to be more important than anyone else. That he wanted more made him a selfish prick. He was sure Ian wouldn't be okay with it if he knew AJ had actual feelings for him, and that they weren't doing this for fun because they were bored and locked together. His throat grew tight and his stomach clenched as if Ian would be able to tell just because he realized it.

"What's wrong with you lately, AJ?" Ian growled.

"Nothing," he growled back. "Just, go do whatever. It's not like you care."

"What the fuck does that mean?! Of course I care, why wouldn't I care?"

"You've been, like, and, you haven't, we haven't done anything since I got my job, and you were all, the other night, and I thought like, whatever. Just nevermind."

Another long pause. "The other night?" He almost heard it when Ian realized what he was referring to, or at least got the general idea. "Oh. OH. The other night. That night, did you, ah, you know? Were you able to-"

"No!" AJ barked, interrupting Ian's softer inquiry. "I didn't. I still can't. Is that what you wanna hear? That you've got me trained now? Don't think I haven't noticed how you've been manipulating me. You're probably naked right now, thinking you'd come in and I'd just fall between your legs with my mouth open."

"I..." Ian began, and the hesitation told him all he needed to know.

"Fuck you, Ian," AJ hissed, now on the other side of the door, as if he needed to be closer to Ian all the while his recently discovered love tore his heart apart.

"You like it, too," Ian defended. "You always, I didn't, like, I don't even ask. You do it on your own. Like-"

"Fuck you, Ian," he repeated. "You trained me to crave you all the time! All I am to you is a convenient release."

Another pause. "You crave me? Wait, what? You're my best friend, asshole, you're not just some convienient release, what the fuck does that even mean? You're responsible just as much as I am!"

"Responsible?!" he snorted. "I'm not the one who hangs his cock out everytime he wants blown."

"You sure as shit don't hesitate when I do," Ian retorted. "Let's go back to how much you crave me."

His stomach twisted, he needed to change the subject. "Dude, you weren't even happy about me getting a job. I don't get it. Is it cause I won't be here to blow you every time you want some? You need to go find a chick to suck you off when I'm at work?"

"Oh, fuck yourself, you arrogant prick," Ian replied. "First off, I never said I wasn't happy about your job."

"Well you sure as shit didn't act like it."

"What'd you want me to do? Throw you a fucking parade?"

AJ snorted. "You were all pissy about it."

"Was not. How did you want me to act?" Ian rebuked. He opened his mouth, but didn't have a good answer. Ian wasn't waiting for him anyway. "And, for the record, I don't need anyone else to get off." The way he stressed the word need, it was poisonous, and aimed at him.

"Great! Good for you! Congrats that you can jerk yourself off all by your lonesome. I'm so glad I told you my secret so you could just use it against me. I trusted you. Did you post it online already, how fucking pathetic I am? How much of a loser I am? How you played me? Did you get a good laugh? Was it all just some big shaming charade?"

"The fuck you talking about, AJ? You're not even making sense. Shaming charade? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean. All I said was that I didn't need help getting off, I'm capable of taking care of myself, unlike someone else I know."

The insult was below the belt, and it hurt. "Well, then, do that then," he replied, hating that he didn't have a better comeback. "Just, like, I don't care what you do." He sighed, his whole body sore from how tense he was, and his stomach in angry, upset knots. "I can't even with you right now."