All Comments on 'Nymph'

Author here. After many long months, I was unable to find an editor to finish proofreading my story or really any of them. A lot of people offered to help then vanish. So I decided to publish it as is. Warts and all. Guess there is always next time.

That was well done. There was some repetition in the last paragraph that didn’t seem intentional. And a couple of wrong word choices that an editor would have caught. But it didn’t detract from an entertaining story. Thanks

I know the struggle to find a good editor, it had taken me over two years to find someone to clean up my hot mess that I called a story. Dont give up, it will happen. Along with Grammarly I also use prowriting aid. buy it around x-mas time for the half off life time one. But re-read it aloud to yourself, word for word, several times. It helps.

Loved this stories premise.

Sextus_Proertius

Yes, an editor would be helpful, especially since this is a short story. The shorter a story the more important it is that you don't distract the reader with typos, misspellings, and awkward phrasing since, in this particular case, you have to suck your audience into the plot inside a single page and that means that every linguistic speed bump has the tendency to disturb the flow that enables the reader to suspend their sense of reality and to get into the plot.

That said, I really like the plot line and think that a single page is doing it a disservice. This is a long term relationship that could be expanded nicely in a longer story. For that matter, you even have a secondary plot line hiding near the end. I suspect that nymph culture or society would be very interesting to explore in a longer story as the nymph exercises her rebellious nature while keeping her author inspired.

It was sweet story. Melancholy seems to be a good term, I believe, to describe the tone. You have a gift and it's evident in the way you write, that you enjoy creating these stories.

Others noted some pitfalls; I didn't read any that were glaring; the end was a bit of a stumble, though. They didn't cite them either, so I'm guessing they felt it was 'obvious' enough to spot those. To be fair, I was reading for my pleasure, not as a critic of grammar or language nuances. However, the last two paragraphs, with the repetions did trip me up a bit. If that was deliberate, as a way of indicating he was in the process of already forgetting his playmate, it was a tad pushed for your intent.

Editors? I have found a good grammarian: kenjisato. He catches my mistakes, much to my dismay, even when I think I've done a good job at those type of corrections...he handles turn around responses quickly. PM him if you like and have him review one of your works. He is not someone who will say 'yes' and then leave you in the dust. The last I saw of his count of edits, he has over 200 stories for writers on this website. Somebody, likes his work! Me, too!

Dmallord

Thanks, everyone for the compliments and encouragement. I'll have a new story coming out soon.

Nice story. You have a lot of potential. Try not to drift between current and past tenses.

Very enjoyable read.

yep. need to edit your stories.