All Comments on 'Obedience'

The issues with this story: 1st - I must say it's very well written and easy to read, but...2nd - It only touches the surface...As in this kind of stories, doesn't matter who is cuckolded, if this happens from time to time, it's one thing...If it happens in a daily base then heavy consequences show after some time...The worst is the lost of all respect for the cuckolded spouse, and the other spouse at the same time that loses the respect, also begins slowly to grow feelings towards the other partner, and soon or later the cuckolded spouse will find himself/herself alone...3rd - "the belt lashed at me again" and "The slap stung, but it was a good sting. A good, hard sting.." belong more to BDSM!!! She liked also to suffer pain...And this belongs to another story category...4th - And "I had tasted her pussy on my husband's lips and dick plenty of times before, but the intensity of freshness surrounded me. I savored it. This was luxury..."!!! This also belongs to another category, just like when a husband prefers to suck a cock than fuck his wife...So even the writting was good, the plot and the characters don't belong in LW, ruining the story...1*

Sure wasn't a cuckold story. Maybe better off if posted in Erotic Couplings or Fetish. Not really a story and the sex was neither erotic or sexy. No real tension in it. The poor wife comes across as a real dummy. Just plain no fun to read.

1 star.

I would not normally have read a story like this beyond the first few paragraphs when I found out there was subservience and humiliation and other things I dislike. Combine this with very sparse use of dialogue and this should have been a story I would abandon and not bother to vote.

But it was written so well that I felt compelled to keep reading. The situations and behaviour described in the story became even worse, but it demanded that I continue reading to the end.

The writing and story construction alone warranted five stars from me. For those who like this kind of thing, it would probably be a very satisfying story. There's only been three comments so far; I look forward to seeing what other readers say.

L

It's interesting to me that so many are disappointed by the dynamics in my story. I am fully aware that my brand of kink is not for everyone, but I've become so comfortable with my desires that I don't see them negatively anymore. I am the woman in my stories, and they are merely a depiction of my own twisted fantasies. I have so many more that you will probably cringe at as well. But what can I say? The pussy wants what it wants.

I agree that I probably should have chosen a different category. It seems obvious now. As soon as I decide the best place to move the story to, I will do so. I am a brand new writer, and this is my first submission to literotica. I'm still learning the ropes. Still, I welcome all comments and sincerely thank you for your feedback.

The other hubs judge stories more fairly than this one. There are those in this crowd who have specific tastes. The description of this hub doesn't make a difference to them. They like what they like, and they try to discourage anyone who writes what they don't like.

There is nothing wrong with your kinks. However, if you want a true assessment of your writing, you would do better to post in a category that judges more fairly.

Dear Lucky,

Please don't pay attention to the category police and please ignore the voting system in LW stories. Write for yourself and for those who appreciate your stories for what they are and for how well you write them.

The nit-pickers who worry about the categorisation of a story, or about definitions of things such as cuckoldry can be fun to read. As Lex1 said, they are much worse with LW stories than with others. But they are also more likely to leave comments, which are much more satisfying than the scores anyhow.

You could take a baiting approach to the commentariat (as Imstillfun does) and get some really interesting feedback. Or simply do as you have done (and as I do with my stories) and make your own comments as part of a conversation. But please do keep writing.

L

The story was so good. Palpable tension. I just love the precise word choices that help me feel what the character is reading. I hope you post more. It is unfortunate that the your theme is about the only one that draws the wrath of the trolls. But, that just means you struck an emotional chord with them, which is a sign of effective writing!!

I rather liked it, though it could use some editing. Certainly different from the normal fare in this category, yet falls within the category's parameters.

Hi Lucky102001,

I loved this story.

I hope to read more.

....so much so, I prefer not to bother you about a couple of minor technical things. It would be petty to do so.

But your storytelling is exquisite, my dear Lucky. If ever we were to meet. So, perfect fit to my preferences or not, you get 5 stars, because You. Give. Good. Story!

Please accept the following as my compliment to your craft....

You don't know that you're not alone.....until.....I start as I lightly kiss the backs of your knees, then very lightly lick them lacing my hands just a millimeter or two from touching the tops of your feet at your toes and begin moving them up your legs to your knees, then back to the tops of your calves and down again. Ever so close, yet never touching, so you feel the warmth of them and the ghostly passing of them, but never actually feel them. I continue up your shins and around to the back again across the just-kissed backs of your knees and up your legs, and thighs, front, back outside and between your legs, never actually touching you, but so close the warm proximity of them shows you how I worship your body. Slowly, ever so gently, never quite touching, they move up and forward, back and down, caressing the globes of your ass. A barely sensible touch to the dimples in your back, just where your hips meet the top of your butt, my tongue tells you how exquisite you are. Back around to your front, my hands caress your pussy...but never touch it. Your comfortably spread legs don't allow a complete caress, just enough that you know I'm there and loving it's pout. Your lips have become dewy with the sensual expression of my admiration of your skin, your body, your beauty. Your scent fills the space around us, my manhood hard, tight, urgent, almost painfully rigid longs for you, to feel you envelope it with your velvet caress.

Rising again, my hands reach from your lower back, up to your sides and ribs and reach to your breasts, where you feel the heat of my hands, never the touch, just the hint of their presence. They mold themselves to your beauty surrounding every inch of them feeling my warmth as I move around them and up to your shoulders. As I rise, I touch the merest tip of my tongue to the very, very tip of each nipple, just tantalizing them and sending the message that they, like you, are the most beautiful of all living things. I continue upwards, carefully, gently caressing every exposed inch of your lovely body, rising back and forth, never quite touching, always leaving the feeling of my hands so very, very close, your arms,cry our shoulders, I rise to kiss your throat with the lightest of touches, then your closed eyes, then around to your neck just below each ear, my one concession is to nip just the tip of each earlobe before slowly working my hands back down and around you....all of you....until they pass the tops of your feet and slip away into the night, into the far country of your dream.

I hope it wasn't offensive, but you milady, brought this up from somewhere deep and hidden.

For the story, and these feelings, I thank you.

You could have posted in bdsm, lesbian, fetish, erotic couplings or loving wives, you makes your choice? Personally I don't think it matters a jot, categories are there as a guide to the subject of a story. If the given story dips into the realm of another category so what? Everyone has the choice to stop reading if the storyline is not to their liking. Posting in loving wives will always bring a few, if not a lot of negative comments. Trust me, you will never ever please everyone when you post in this category, some people, especially the guy named anonymous, will always find fault and will enjoy telling you (as for myself, and quite a few other writers I believe, I love to wind them up. Theres nothing like a bit of troll baiting :))

As for your story: the writing was very good, narration was excellent and I loved the emotions, which is something I always like to read. I would have liked more dialogue and a little background and characterization. There was no actual plot but I knew from your profile this was drawn from a fantasy, and as such it was superbly done.

You say that you are new to writing so I urge you now to try something a little more in depth, use your fantasies and expand upon them. I say this for no other reason than its something I personally would like to read, oh, and maybe more lesbian domination might be a good idea :))

Overall I liked it, it's a five for me and bugger the category.

Cuckquean"ism" brings a special extra kink to MFF play, and this story draws out some of that. Enjoyed it.

@Lucky102001. You captured (a flavour) of what Cuckqueening is about, extremely well.

The shower scene, especially, was brilliantly described, communicating her desperate desire, but also her iron self control.

I recommend writing some longer stories. I for one, will certainly read them

5 Stars.

Well done

Talk about theater of the absurd! Didn't see anyone here that was very obedient. Mostly some unlikable characters that have the IQ's of squirrels and the morals of alley cats. Still laughing at how bad this was.

I can tell your moral character is outstanding by the humble way you concealed your un. Mine, on the other hand, is undeniably and irrevocably corrupted, which is why I decided to post my deviance on this otherwise pious website. ;)

I thought I liked FFM (2 females with 1 male) stories. (And paradoxically usually disliked MMF). This story made me wonder. I've enjoyed stories where a wife gives her husband to show off/prove how good he is. Or loans him to a friend/sister/etc who is in need sexually. But this story bothered me. I don't like it when people are treated poorly (even dislike harsh BTB). Maybe she likes being treated this way. That's worse to me. Maybe I need to open my eyes and see a slice of reality? But I would not enjoy it -- and I read literotica for enjoyment. Similarly I don't like stories where people enjoy pain. If she were a partner with another gal seeking to bring pleasure to their man -- or him to them, I could like that. Is this story revealing a reality I wish wasn't -- like Islamic terrorism? For me, no arousal, no glee, no satisfaction. I do feel for her. But "poor girl" is what I feel.

Sorry. We're too far apart.

Paul in Oklahoma

Please

Between the biting and the belt, this story DOES not belong in this category. I repeat, castrate the bastard.

intensely erotic. There are far too few good cuckquean stories on here