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All Comments on 'Obedience & Rewards'

by Metal_Mario

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

In a few places, you forgot that you are writing in third person (he, she) and wrote in first person (I) . Proofread please.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Drugging? A bit much

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Difficult reading with the constant tense swapping - only worth a 2

Metal_MarioMetal_Marioabout 2 months agoAuthor

Shit... I did miss a few spots. My bad.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Clean up the perspective spots and hot short story

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userMetal_Mario@Metal_Mario
1 Stories
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Just a horny guy writing horny things.