All Comments on 'Oblivious Sister Pt. 02'

This was too much and too unbelievable. Stop here and save yourself any more trouble with writing this.

Of course

The short answer: NO.

The more in-depth answer: Not until you put more thought into it, and get an editor to fix it. This, again, is too short, but too long for the material. By this, I mean you're put down too many words for what you've said. It's not believable. Not even close.

The fact that she wanted it, after the fact, does not excuse the fact that he raped his sister in chapter 1. To me, without even tacit consent (if she had actually been awake and knew what was happening when he fucked her the first time), anything that comes after is ruined. I suggest you take both chapters down, and re-write. Get an editor, figure out how to develop a story. Write something that couple be true, then republish.

Without doing that work, I suggest that you just publish this: There was a brother and sister. They fucked, then lived happily ever after. The end.

That is as good as your story is.

Great literature? No. A little rushed, but not seriously.

Pretty hot, though. It could use more details, and you need to decide where to go.

1. Wake up to reality and consequences.

2. Permanent relationship - kids?

3. Expand to other family members or friends

4. Getting caught -- opens even more options

Moved a little fast, but I have no problem with that. Please continue

I have sister I would have loved to try with...very good work

Too stupid......

It was OK until "where the neighbors could see" and "several cars passed by, honking",

Logic would understand that the neighbors would KNOW that they were brother and sister....and straight to the parents.

More logic would say that passing cars could be passing police.....BUT......

it's apparent that the writer HAS NO LOGIC.

Go home and beat off, you cannot write.

Would have been fun to have the parents have to bail them out of jail after they were arrested for fucking on the hood of a car in the driveway in full public view. So EVERYONE knows they are committing incest. How nice for mom and dad going for groceries or paying bills and everyone pointing and laughing.