Off the Deep End Pt. 01

*This is the first part of a multi part series. This one is mostly set up, not a lot of action going on. It's still evil, though, and of course contains a lot of stuff that no one should ever do in real life. I will post the next part as soon as this one goes up.*

5th January 2021

Spending the holidays with my family this year made me realize I need something more. Their limited world view is so frustrating to deal with. I need to test limits, try something new. I'm not sure what yet, or how I'm going to do it. I have been spending more and more time online, exploring questionable sites lately. I've been experimenting with creating different personas for myself, gauging how people react to me. There was one strange experience I had yesterday. There was this one girl, incredibly beautiful and sweet, who I was trying to talk to in my pervert persona. I seemed to keep slipping, losing the persona. She made me want to say kind and sweet things instead. This feeling of not being able to control my reactions was very interesting. I will need to explore it further.

18th January 2021

I have been getting better at letting go of my inhibitions. Who knew that deconstructing your moral compass and letting go of your ideas of being humble and respectful would lead to such a boost in self confidence? I'm learning to trust in myself, trust in the idea that if I can get other people to fulfill my desires, what they get back is going to improve their world. I've gotten very good at getting people to do what I want them to do. This growing obsession with a girl I've never even met is worrying, though. She makes me feel things, and challenges me like no one else can. I think that she likes me a lot, and that I am intrigued by her, but I'm pretty sure we are playing different games. I need to find a way to win.

25th January

I wasn't supposed to fall in love. Why is she doing this to me? She is clearly playing with me, but I can't help it, I'm losing the game. How is she so enchanting? I need to take control back.

20th February

I tried to do it in the proper way, but clearly it's not going to work. Sure, she likes me, but if I'm going to get what I want from her, I'm going to have to get a bit creative. Luckily, I've managed to get her to reveal certain things that I believe I can use. Of course, she lies about where she lives, and says she'll come to me. I do not believe she will. Instead, I will find her.

15th March

Most of it is in place now. I wish I could just go right away, I'm getting impatient. Amusingly, she's still stalling about coming to me. Clearly, she will not. I will have to push her for that. I asked her today if she would meet me, should I come to her. She was apprehensive and claimed to not be quite ready, but eventually, I got her to promise she would come meet with me. Maybe I won't have to use the information to get her to agree to see me. Somehow, I doubt it.

17th March

Today she was excited. Apparently, one of her friends is having a birthday party this weekend, and she was telling me about it. Seems she's looking forward to it a lot. I asked her about the venue, and she told me about it, an old house nestled in among modern constructions, just by the river, downtown. It's perfect. I already knew the city, but now I know where she'll be. I'm so excited. I think it's fair to say that I'm looking forward to that party even more than she is. I already bought plane tickets. I'm leaving in two days.

21th March

I didn't go to the private party, of course. I knew the party would move to this nice little club, so I just went there right away.

It was a pretty crowded night, the dance floor was full of people and the line to the bar was long. I settled into my role as the lone predator as soon as I got my beer from the bartender, not really drinking it, just slowly walking around the dance floor, looking at the people there, dancing and posturing.

Hidden within the mass of moving bodies, gray and ordinary, restless and tired, I found her. She was magnificent. There was always a balance to her movement, very graceful yet playful. I stood for a long while, transfixed by this beautiful creature. Eventually, though, she noticed me staring. For a moment, I thought she might recognize me right there, but she just frowned, shook her head, then looked away.

After waiting for an opportunity for an hour or so, I finally saw her alone, returning from the bathroom, looking for her friends. Coming up close to her, I noticed that she was even more drunk than I had assumed. I stepped up right in front of her.

She stumbled to a stop, muttering a soft drunken "hey!" before looking up at me. She froze. Her eyes went wide and her lips were moving without making a sound. It was priceless. I just smiled at her.

"Hello," I said

"You!" she said, fear in her voice "how? I don't..."

She started shaking her head, taking a step backwards, but ended up tripping, falling backwards. I took a quick step forward and caught her before she fell.

"Just have a drink with me," I said while holding her. I released her, then took hold of her hand, pulling her toward the bar.

I complimented her on her dancing and told her I thought she seemed very cool, before offering her some shots. I did not talk about who I was or that I knew her from before. She seemed a bit confused by this, and she downed the shots I bought her. I kept an eye out for her friends, trying to make sure they didn't find her.

After having a few shots, she was quite unsteady on her feet. When I asked her if she smoked, she launched into a convoluted and confused explanation of her intermittent smoking habits. While she talked, I maneuvered her out of the club. Having taken a few drags on a cigarette, she seemed very queasy.

"We should get you home," I said, stepping forward to stroke a strand of hair out of her face.

She started complaining about telling her friends, but she leaned on me as I started towing her away from the place.

"Here," I said while unlocking my rental car. "I'll take you home"

She didn't do anything, frozen in her drunken confusion. I opened the door to the car, and helped her in. She didn't move much, I almost had to lift her up to stove her in, but eventually she was sitting in the passenger seat.

She didn't really notice when I drove us out of the city. She did look confused when we got to the house I had rented, but at that point she was a bit too drunk to protest, at least until we reached my door.

"This is not home," she said, looking at me, blinking her eyes against the light.

"Don't worry about it," I said, and pushed her in with a strong push, causing her to stumble into the house, falling down on the floor.

She lay there moaning as I closed and locked the door. I put my hands under her arms, lifted her up, then dragged her to my bedroom, lifting her up to the bed. She was very light, and a bit too confused to offer any resistance. Once on the bed, she was breathing heavily, just laying there. I stood for a while, looking at this wonderful creature. I felt a strong pang of something standing there. Love? She was so beautiful, so helpless, and all mine. I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to hurt her, then tend her wounds.