All Comments on 'Oh, Sh*t'

It was a good character development but predictable to a degree. Thank you for the entertaining read, as always. 5* from me.

As if there aren't enough trolls around without writers doing it. Once star.

and make sure their nose is squeaky clean, TK U MLJ LV NV

. . . of this story was really good, before the plot veered off into the woods. I could feel the main character’s anger, and then you turned him into an incel, out to score the only pussy he could ever get through blackmail.

Really, as soon as you began the plot twist, everything else was telegraphed. You took one angry man and turned him into a pathetic loser. That’s an OK plot twist, I suppose, but it took the great writing up to that point and flushed it. I can appreciate the dark mien of the angry man, but nobody can do the pathetic character well.

This may have been 1 page long but I could not even get that far. You had me up to the point your protagonist declared he wanted some free pussy. The dude (your mind since you wrote the character author) was lower scum then the cheaters.

Unfortunately most of the stories under LW just seem to be interested in how to burn the bitch. Always remember as they say "it takes two to tango", meaning if the guy was a real man he would not get involved with a woman who is already involved or married. If a woman comes on to a guy a real man should tell her to get out of the relationship first, then come see him. If he doesn't the he is just as much scum as her and owes his pound of flesh also. Too many authors are just concerned with how evil to treat women.

nice story, The message is keep it real these are only stories. Hahaha Most are only stories but you can tell who the twisted people are b y the passion in some stories. Good job billandkate

Disturbing and funny!

A lot of people take their ring off at work.

Sometimes for safety, sometimes to protect the ring.

I never did.

Somehow wearing them was more important

than the danger they added (electricity, as in this story).

But I understand those who take it off.

As long as it is for the right reason.

I really liked this story.

BillandKate's stories are different

and for me, so interesting.

This story wasn't meaty enough

too deserve top ratings.

But it was a fun read.

Many thanks for the entertainment.

4 out of 5 from me.

Had it figured early that the guy was her husband. Even without his reason for not wearing it. many guys don't wear wedding rings.

If we didn't already know that he was weird, his reaction to a very normal slow dance position sealed the deal.

But it was a little too quick and short.

It was okay but in loving wives? You wrote about a predictor stalking people and trying to blackmail them. This guy didn’t have money to buy his way out. A billionaire in Florida actually took underage girls to other islands and slept with dozens of girls and he walked instead of doing life in prison. His name is Jeffery Epstein . The justice system is broken.

Ouch! Does he also post comments criticizing stories?

I think he's followed my work.

TBH I saw it coming from way off, but it was still fun to read a different take of catching a cheating couple. Loved how it blew up in his face, don't know if the US(?) has similar laws to the UK, if so he'll also be on register for sex offenders for life too.

Only 1 quibble, how did he post this story if he wasn't allowed to access to the internet, #runs, ducks and laughs#

Liked it. You took a chance and came up with something different. Thank you.

How did he post the story?

Should have been in humor and satire.

2 stars.

The loud red herrings B&K left about the narrator being a sad mamma's boy made what ends up happening quite obvious, but I personally think that the preface at the very beginning of their flash is what ultimately ruined it.

It's all well and fine to let your readers know what your story will be about... unless you're telling them EXACTLY what it is. The authors here showed too much of their cards.

Gotta love the contempt they seemed to have for their narrator, though - that was really the most enjoyable part of this read. It should be hard to believe any blackmailer could be this dumb and pathetic, but, then again, 'Florida Man' is a legit thing, so...

All and all.. kinda wish I didn't read the forewarning! I'm not sure it would have made the overall story any better, but ignoring it certainly wouldn't have help me figure out, in about four paragraphs, that the couple on the table were married and that the MC would either ended up in jail or dead. Honestly, I don't understand why BillandKate felt the need to add it at all.

In most case, the less you say, the better things turn out.

But definitely impressive and disappointing all at once.

Could this have been part of something better??

Thanks anyway Bill, I'm

AMerryman

Oh shit, this story is going to make some of these LW readers truly uncomfortable.

Question to BillAndKate. Since you’re a husband and wife writing team, how come I haven’t seen any stories with the husband being the cheater and what the wife goes through dealing with that?

I realize the audience here is overwhelmingly male, but one or two stories mixed in would give insight to the male audience of a wife’s perspective of a cheating husband.

JohnAdp

Must have set you off. Well told story. And I guess it was a loving wives story. But it felt like a "creeper" story. It made my skin crawl and I found it to be less than entertaining. But that's just me.

He was a kook and a stalker

Good thing we were warned about nasty people, it certainly didn't make me feel any better although the idea was interesting.

Dumb spelling mistake in the second sentence didn't exactly help my mood either.

the device of the narrator, but the content, especially at the beginning, was nothing but cliches setting up a strawman. So, it really wasn't interesting. I have liked other stories of yours, though. I do hope you try this device again and make it psychologically more interesting.

You captured the image of an anonymous 1 bomber perfectly.

Thanks

... just ALSO an incredibly stupid one. OK, I get it, not every story on LW needs a happy... well, I guess this was a “happy” ending; just not for the antagonistic protagonist. The idiot gets found out and goes to jail. So your story succeeded.

Still didn’t like the story. Didn’t draw me in. Had some sympathy for the innocent victims, but didn’t really care about them as I didn’t get to “know” them. Also, since the protagonist is a nut job he doesn’t really learn anything by going to prison.

Just, overall, an unsatisfying story. Not that it’s poorly written, but not what I come to Literotica, and specifically LW, to read as entertainment.

Fun read

I know people with the idiots type of attitude.

Yes it was obvious from the start. Hence the title. What a short fun ride though.

It's true stupidity is painful sometimes...

P.S. I love your stories...

how many times do we see the ending telegraphed in the beginning, quit often. Even if you know the ending it's the journey to get there that make the story. Bill and Kate, keep um coming. Five stars in my book.

Lot of content in that short story. Is this what happens when some LW readers come out of the basement? Mr Rook had some problems , but I'm sure his prison mates will provide severe attitude adjustment for him. I enjoyed your story, even though I'm not smart enough to understand all it's nuance. Usual good work.

...5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

I wondered if they might be husband and wife. And they were. Neat!

Good story. Thoroughly detestable main character. He gets what he deserves. I liked it. A 3* rating.

Not bad, just boring, and stupid. I hate cartoons. Not your fault.

Thanks

And Richie4110 & 26thNC get it perfectly.

This one was solely my own effort and the scores reflect it; Kate sat this one out. I was out x/c skiing, it was a perfect day and the thought of how people allow rigid preconceptions to cloud their relationships entered my mind. How so many anonymous commentators blast ours and other writers' stories - always talking tough - any man who forgives is a wimp and any woman who screws up is a whore, no matter what the circumstances. I came home and pounded this one out in a couple hours.

I won't make that mistake again. My sincere apologies to the earlier Anonymous commentator who stated I spoiled his mood with the "dumb spelling mistake". Oh, the humanity!

So this one is for you. And for all the basement dwelling 1 bombers.

Brilliant bit of satire....well done 4*

For a few minutes I was wondering if he was going to tell us that he posts online under his fictional handle - 26thNC. Seeing as he has the same lame feelings towards women and marriage. Good story. Short and funny. And exposes all the “cuck shit” commenters for who they are.

Thanks!

That was pretty dadgum funny about thinking Mr. Rook was old 26th. I can appreciate that humor. You have me wrong, though, about having any animosity toward women and marriage. I love both very much. It is cheating and.any kind of infidelity that I am against, whether by husband or wife. There is no excuse ever for cheating, despite what you will hear from Lue and.the Immoral Brigade. Again, funny comment.

It turned the way it did. I had to read to find out what you meant in the opening statement. Got it early on the guy was a ton short of a pound in the brains and social department.

Still, what do you expect of someone who reads erotic stories online. LOL

I mean SERIOUSLY!!!!! Why the hell does this story has such low rating????

Your scores might be higher if the title didn't contain 'shit'. But clever writing.

Great story

Justice was served.

I started to suspect half way through that there would be a twist like this. What fun!

The only thing you missed was naming him "Anonymous".

This is a sick story, really liked the twist at the end. Well done.

Great short funny story.

But a pervert got his nose broken and sent to prison with Bubba, Spike and the boys.

"It's why I'm thirty years old and still single." Not even close but you won't stay single long in the big house.

I knew an electrician who was missing the ring finger on his left hand. Seems he wasn't quite as smart as Ken. He was working in a factory at the ceiling in a bucket lift and that ring connected with a live high voltage circuit. His partner brought the bucket down with the ground controls but what was left of the finger and ring stayed in the duct work. Great little flash story. Signed: BTW

Funny!

Still a great piece of satire. I guess it hurt too many feelings to get the scores it deserves.

Funny how some people can't seem to mind their own business. This guy learned the hard way.

Some dark bizarro comic relief. Nicely done.

Cute little twist there, nice ending as well.

Nice one, good laugh. Thanks.

by far this is my favourite story on this site.. truly some meta content.

Loved it, didn't have to read very far into this little tale before I wanted ole creepy in jail!

Good One. I thought it was theusual stuff at first. Didn't see the twist in the tail.

Play Stupid Games Win Stupid Prizes

Great plot. Really enjoyed it.

What a pathetic loser!! Nice setup by the husband-wife.

I loved it, great plot and a believable incel as a main character

Wrong category - thus, disappointing. In some category it may be a 3 or a 4. Here, it's a zero.

Right category, great story, an easy *5.

Feels like a warning to how reading online stories can mess with your view on everything in the real world.

Great character development. Tight plot. Easy five

Delightful story of the downfall of a total loser.

Very clever!

Glad to see an asshole loser get justice.

Come to bubba....

This really should be in humor and satire, funny story.

He he!

I don't wear a wedding ring. It would get caught on things and rip my finger off.

AND Mrs. doesn't have the same last name as me.

Great story. Guys a wack job and will love the morals of fellow inmates...

Funny.

BEAUTIFUL!!! The Bear loved it. Funny as hell. 5 stars. The Bear approves.

The BEAR

Don't understand why this is rated under 4, it's funny as hell... and he seems awfully close in demeanor to a lot of the rabbits anony commentors on here.

Maybe that's why... it's a hard thing to look critically in a mirror.

Terrible.

Oh, totally silly, but a fun read

That was strange, but entertaining.

Pretty much every author on this site has no idea that there is a difference between discrete and discreet.