All Comments on 'On Outrage in Loving Wives Stories'

Great analysis.

I avoid the LW category specifically because so much of it falls into the Fetish Cuckold category or the Outrage one, and frankly, the comments in that second one often are creepy as hell. I've read comments where the commenter is fantasizing -- sometimes at explicit length -- about extensive violence to the cheating spouse, and all I can think is, "I'm sorry she left you, bro, but you need therapy, not to be reading this category."

Generally, the happy-swapping-couples ones I find more in the Group Sex category, which is where I prefer to go instead.

You can tell that the BTB stories are nothing more than therapy.

Ignoring the cuckold/sharing lifestyle in this conversation, there are two separate categories in the cheating genre. One is the wife (or husband) who occasionally gets a one-off or random fuck. They are not a threat to a marriage, they are just sex, and if done right, the husband and wife are having a better sex at home than most marriages. He doesn't know why, but enjoys it. I have fucked many of these wives over the years, but have never had an affair with one.

Where the outrage comes in is when there is an affair, and affairs WILL get caught. The fact that there is an affair indicates underlying problems in the marriage that neither one brought up. Now for the outrage. Many if not most of the Loving Wives stories in this genre go way overboard with the outrage, having hubby go run and hide, like a little boy mad because someone else played with his favorite toy. But, as the author said, that is what the readers of this genre want.

A well-written piece, sir. I particularly like that you don't come down demonizing any of the genres you mention, which is far too easy to do these days.

I’ve been reading erotica for years. But discovered the LW category just a few months ago. I’m hooked. I’m a fan of both BTB and Reconciliation, what ever works for the author and the story. Unexpectedly getting caught cheating and the aftermath results are why I like to read. I’m not so much into intentional cuckolding stories.

I haven’t read stories in all the categories, but of the ones I have read stories of, the LW category gets by far the largest number of comments. Some of the comments are quite lengthy dialogs in themselves.

And one more thing…. I really hate the anonymous commenters who tear the story apart. It’s JUST A STORY! I think anonymous commenters ought to be barred from commenting.

Part of the problem is clearly laid out in your early categorization of the stories. The first type of story is appropriate (and appreciated) in the Group Sex category that Literotica has for those types of stories. The second type of story is appropriate (and appreciated) in the Fetish category that Literotica has for those types of stories. You skipped over the racism based stories, but most of those writers already know to put them in the Interracial category that Literotica has for those types of stories because they are appropriate (and appreciated) there. You also skipped over the ones where the husband is less than a bit part in the story and would be more appropriate (and appreciated) in the Erotic Couplings category that Literotica has for those types of stories.

Another part of the problem is that "Loving Wives" is not just another way of saying "Hotwives". Even if it was, a lot of the "hotwife" stories are about women being abusive to their husbands rather than loving. Many of the stories I have read and seen lambasted are just as much about the wife forcing her husband to become gay/bi, which means the stories would be more appropriate (and appreciated) in either the Nonconsensual/Reluctant or Gay Male categories that Literotica has for those types of stories. Many more include forced chastity for the husband which leads to them being more appropriate (and appreciated) in the BSDM category that Literotica has for those types of stories.

In your regards to the lack of titillation, I laugh when I see that lame argument. First, Literotica even has a specific Non-Erotic category which undermines that claim. Second, while the Reviews & Essays category is for things like this, I find absolutely no titillation in it, which makes you a hypocrite, does it not?

As to reconciliation stories, I agree that RAAC is not really reconciliation. It is simply giving up and surrendering. I have no problem with legitimate reconciliation stories that do it right. In fact, I enjoy them and rate them as such. Unfortunately those are few and far between. Part of this comes from the author overdoing the offenses to build tension and not leaving themselves a believable road back. Of course, most fail simply because it's easier to right a surrender and call it reconciliation than it is to plot and right a genuine one.

Finally, as to your big point about this category being largely about outrage and not sexual. I agree and disagree with that. I think a more correct categorization would be drama. These stories are about conflict, adrenaline, and overcoming hardship. I agree that the average Loving Wives story is not a quick FAP story. However, I disagree that the emotion generated by these stories are worthless or inappropriate for this site. I know that one of the reasons I like a good BTB is that it reminds me that the problems I have in my own marriage are minor in comparisons. So, if reading these stories improves my marriage (and my sex life) by letting deal better with these issues, how can you say they aren't sexual? :-) A good reconciliation story can do the same thing, but they simply don't provide the same intense level of emotion and catharsis that a good BTB does.

So, in summary, the stories that struggle in the Loving Wives category do so largely because they should have been posted in a different category. Of course, a lack or misuse of tags and misleading descriptions can easily increase the scorn heaped upon an author, both of which happen frequently in this category.

PS: I find it interesting that two "different" authors posted such similar essays as their first post on the same day...

agreed

Analysing the LW readership is a frequent hobby/obsession over on the AH forum, but you've provided some thoughtful comments. It is indeed a multifaceted genre, with the various subsets not in the same boat most of the time.

I don't go for or understand the outrage crowd, but I also appreciate that sexual arousal triggers can accommodate a huge variety of interests. The main problem of the category, as far as I am concerned, is that the BTB crowd is so angry and righteous that they don't permit any other perspective. Perfectly good 'wife sharing' stories get trashed with uncommonly vicious commentary and 'punished' with deliberate, malicious low scores. More than once I thought the category should just be retitled 'Hating Husbands' to clarify the ambiguity.

It is unfortunate that LW cannot seem to function as a 'Big Tent' genre, and many authors who might otherwise post worthy LW stories choose either not to post or put their tales in alternative categories.

Funny on an essay trashing anon comments, one of your best most thoughtful ones is from an anonymous. I have always said that the loving wives category is the only/ best repository for stories that need to focus specifically on a marriage. Wives means married. So I say, loving wives is the place for "complicated marital scenarios". Agreed that so many stories would fit better in other categories. Even ones for the non erotic. But stories that discuss the finer points of marriage can discuss a sex life without being too explicit. The point of the story is the marriage, over gratuitous descriptions of orifices and appendages.

I agree with the thoughtful anon better descriptor than merely the outrage, is the word drama. I tease about these stories being like soap operas. We enjoy following characters. The best stories have the best character development. The plots are secondary. The emotions well written usually require a strong narrator giving voice to their feelings, yes including outrage, betrayal, etc. But 1 dimensional characters don't successfully pull off outrage, even if EVERY one of the 750 words are a rant.

The best LW stories are complex characters who find themselves in complicated marital scenarios, and along the way, give the reader something to think about.

I don't think you need to be titilated to have enjoyed that, when well done. And we all know it when we read it. This remains one of the best archives and easiest to use.

The thing that LW or any category has zero place for is any hate directed at any author or contributor. It happens, but we would all enjoy our time here without worring about therapy being needed if there was less of the hate.

Thanks.

Thanks for this--it's a different, very thoughtful take on the cheating wife stories. I've never looked at it as outrage porn, but I can see how that interpretation works.

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I think, for me, it comes down to self-valuation. In relationships, there's a tendency to put yourself second--to place the happiness of your significant other ahead of your own. In healthy relationships, this tendency is somewhat balanced--sometimes, one partner will put himself or herself second, secure in the belief that, when the time comes, their love and regard will be reciprocated. In less healthy relationships, it is more skewed--sometimes, I think, one partner or the other will begin to regard the martyrdom of their partner as their "due," as something that they have a right to.

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Needless to say, cheating wife stories tend to fall into the second category!

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In this context, I see the outrage as an explosion of self-valuation. The character feels that their sacrifice has been taken for granted, that their love has become something that is self-damaging, rather than healthy. Taken from this angle, the outrage could be some form of "Damn it, I matter! I have value! I deserve better than this!"

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Or maybe I'm just trying to justify my own enjoyment of the occasional vengeful loving wife story...regardless, thank you for giving me a different angle for viewing this!