All Comments on 'Once Upon a Time in Florida Pt. 01'

Give sexy Javi a spray of dark chest hair for his muscular chest. He is a real gentleman and lover, and a great turn on for her. Please, please, please write much more!

I hope to see more soon

You lost me with the 17 year old enlistment and then again at four rows of ribbons representing medals he'd earned in two years. Doesn't happen cosmo. Shit story

I have not read your stories before that I recall. I mean this as constructive commentary, I do not ever flame anyone putting forth an effort. You put in way way way way too much filler and detail. This is supposed to escapism. If I wanted to know about the gory details of assault and violence in foreign lands, I have the 5'oclock news. I get that you are building characters, but so much detail. I honestly just skipped about a page or more as it kept going on.I was waiting for the detailed weather report.

You have good ideas, just chill and you can be top 10%.

Nice premise.

Nice buildup.

But the sex, the blowjob, was too truncated. Needed many more details than his cock entered her mouth and he blew his load.

Some admiration from her about how hard he was, and some details about her playing with his cock, and discussing how full his balls felt as she played with them woud have been appropriate. Kissing his cock first, then licking it and getting his reaction to each would have been good before she took it in her mouth.

Four stars.

I doubt you spent even a minute deployed overseas in a combat zone as a grunt or any time pounding the streets as a recruiter so why don’t you stick to what you know “cosmo.” You can enlist at 17 with parental consent and two tours in the shit can give you a decent ribbon salad. Stick to your lane, princess. Wouldn’t doubt it if you were probably a box kicker or admin clerk. What would you know about REAL Marines?

Very good story. Hope to see part two soon.

Big fan of your stories! Keep up the great work!

Great story. 5 stars. Forget about the Cosmo comment---it does happen. Remember Audie Murphy...

please continue his dreamgirl story! want to read more on Kim.

young man / older woman, is not my taste. Nevertheless, this was a good read

"What would you know about REAL Marines?" Hopefully that they are real people. I had to break up a fight between a Marine and a 72nd Airborne. Each one was so involved in the myths of their particular groups. I had to remind both that they were in the US Military.

I read the story as being one of underlying basic human beings trying to survive to maintain their humanity. Too many times, we have people striving to meet the internal image that are not real, being pumped up by movies et al. In this story, we have the growth of the "human Spirit" despite the clothing worn.

I think that the story has some wonderful directions it could go.

I was trying to be insulting to the person who made the ignorant "cosmo" comment. Since I happen to have first-hand knowledge of the ribbons a Marine would have in this situation, I took his comment as an insult. As 76fellow48 said, the story is about two human beings. I provided Javi's background so readers would know what makes him tick.

Interested in how much time "cosmo" had. 3 rows,4 in 2 years is not impossible. Has more to do with the individual and their commander than anything else. Great beginning, another great series? Hope so. 4 of 5 as I'm not Finished with it yet.

It is a well-written story with a different and exciting plot. The characters were well described as well as their backgrounds. The analogy between combat and a street fight was right on. It's hard to believe a 19-year-old and a 60ish lady with huge breasts but is a grandmother type, are able to be partners. All things are possible even in fiction. You are a word's smith of the highest order and your descriptions made this a very enjoyable story to read.