All Comments on 'One Bed'

Wow! And that’s all I have to say!

This short, joint effort piece of erotic chaos (as you put it) is fun and, yes, a wonderfully erotic collaboration (and “collaboration” fails to capture how well you clicked here). Although probably not necessary for you to explain how the two of you created this scene, doing so added another dimension of reading enjoyment — a kind of voyeuristic element. Not trying to picture two lovers aka authors, rather tracking lines of two authors. Aside from telling us how you wrote this piece, it does start with two lovers sequentially describing their beds. Yet, as the love making escalates distinction is blurred/blended, and it is easy for this reader to imagine the two lovers actually together and not “a world away”. The worry of being caught and in the end being caught contributes to a sense of being together, though detracts from the sensualness of the scene; it may add eroticism — not sure. Finally, the siren’s call metaphor is used twice in this scene, and if I am right tracking your lines, both of you adopted that metaphor. How is its use midway through story consistent with an enticing appeal of something alluring but potentially dangerous (?) — happy wreckage. I am surely over-analyzing this short piece, but that is half the fun as a reader. Of course, the other half is simply enjoying this piece, and I have each time read. 5 stars for both of you.

Thanks haltwhogoesthere. Those 8 words mean a lot!

Migbird, thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you have enjoyed it. The intro was hesitated because it may infer more than intended, but I also like hearing that it potentially added a voyeuristic element for you.

With the siren's call, from my perspective it was at the back of the mind the final destruction would be being caught, from the initial request to keep quiet. The happily wrecking I had hoped it would be perceived as willingly giving in to the compulsion, the allure of a beautiful body before you outweighing the danger of being caught. In my mind, wrecking insinuates loud noises, which ultimately lead to the demise of being caught. Perhaps it did not have the desired effect?

Just between us, I've always loved how you analyse the pieces you've commented on, it is very insightful and gives a person more food for thought for possible rewrites or future works. Please continue to "overanalyse" (although I feel like it's never too much), I've especially loved re-reading pieces and finding things that you have picked up, that I may have missed. <3

I love true women in love pleasing ech other tj the point bothe cum at the sam time to the point bot soak each other in love juises xxx

What a beautifully steamy little piece!

Thank you LiveCat, a nice little quickie that was screaming to be shared.

Thank you Anon for your kind words. xx

Oh Buttered, that's class