One Joke Too Many.

I caught up with you at the 10-mile checkpoint and gave your companion some water and walked with your group to the finish. When Kevin, swearing and sweating, finally arrived he demanded his whiskey. To his astonishment the coordinator handed him a plastic bag with his food container, but no whisky and a formal warning because alcohol was prohibited during the hike. Kevin shouted at me that he would take revenge. Soon after that the real sick jokes and pranks started."

"Did you tell Victoria all this?"

"Yes, of course. She only said that they were just joking. When they made me fall through that trapdoor and I bruised my ribs, I warned her that another 'joke' like that will end our marriage. And here we are. I have a promise to fulfill and I will do it gladly."

It was silent for a while at the table. Finally, Elizabeth softly said. "I don't envy you. I never allowed myself to be sucked in by Kevin and my family. Kevin gave me hell for it sometimes. Now I understand why. I admire your patience and gentleness and Victoria is an absolute idiot to throw you away like that."

Now Elizabeth blushed when she went on, "When I first met you, I couldn't see why Victoria liked you so much. During the years you were in the family I got to know you and now I would like nothing more than to replace her. I know it's way too early for both of us but when this is over, I very much would like us to try."

Peter was flabbergasted. He stammered, "I, I don't know what to say. This completely surprises me. How long have you felt like that about me?"

"Since you decked my brother when you had those bruised ribs. I already liked and appreciated you immensely. Do you remember that I checked the tape they put on your chest to stabilize the ribs a bit? That was the first time that I saw you without a baggy shirt on. Your body is so well toned, and I found out that you are so beautiful, inside and out, that I fell for you like a brick. Don't worry, Victoria knows. I already told her the day after the shit hit the fan. I also told her that, after that accident, each time I saw you in swimwear I gave Kevin a workout in bed that night."

"TMI Elizabeth. Do you mind taking it a bit, actually much, much slower. We're not even divorced yet. I'm not even sure if I want to be in another relationship at all at this moment. Also, after all this is over it's quite possible that you don't like me at all anymore."

Elizabeth was a little disappointed for a moment but understood the sentiment. She softly answered, "Of course. I understand. Forgive me, my desires got the best off me."

Peter softly smiled, "You're forgiven. We'll see where fate will take us. But at the moment I'm disgusted, hateful and extremely angry. I don't want to have anything to do anymore with that sadistic witch, nor with your brothers. Now a more prosaic question. What do you want for dessert? And don't tell me it's me." He said with a smile to show that he wasn't upset, or angry with Elizabeth.

Monday. A week later.

The tension in the house was palpable. The week after, what Victoria called 'the incident' Peter ignored her. He only answered questions about daily worries and when Victoria tried to talk about their relationship, Peter just walked away.

This morning as every day last week, Peter was gone before Victoria woke up. When Victoria entered the kitchen, she sighed deeply and she thought to herself, This can't go on forever. We must have to talk some time. Maybe I can corner him this evening.

As always since they were married Peter had coffee ready when Victoria came down. Even now this was not different from before. She enjoyed the strong brew and was ready for work when her daughter entered the house. Victoria steeled herself because Miranda could read her like an open book and spotted a lie from a mile of.

Miranda took one look at her mother and said, "What's the matter? You look like you've been through the wringer."

"Your dad and I had a fall-out. A bad one."

Miranda could guess what about, but decided to let her mother tell her story so she asked, "Oh how come?"

"We pulled a joke and your dad took it badly, very badly. Now he has ignored me all week. He doesn't talk to me, refuses to have supper with me and even sleeps in the spare room."

"So, dad is extremely angry at you. It must be one hell of a joke, pun intended."

Victoria took a deep breath. "We had a family party and Peter walked to Elizabeth's and Kevin's house as he sometimes does.

When we arrived, Henry gave us a signal. When your father went to the shower, he heard us moaning. I was on all fours with uncle Kevin behind me like we were doing the dirty. We expected that he would start a fight. When he was in the room, we would show that he was pranked again.

But your dad filmed it all before he went downstairs again.

He sat there until uncle Kevin came down. I don't know exactly what happened but when I came down Peter had broken Kevin's nose, bruised his sternum, dislocated his shoulder and disabled his left leg.

Henry and Charles tried to stop your dad. Henry was kicked in his groin and Charles was lying unconscious on the ground. Your dad left right after that."

"I presume that my aunt already gave you a piece of her mind?"

"Yes. That she was pissed is an understatement."

"What do you want to do now? And what about dad? He doesn't talk to you at all?"

Victoria started to sob, "No, the only thing he said was that as soon as he has somewhere to live, he will leave me."

Miranda looked at her mother. Shock showed in her face. She almost whispered, "Mother. I am quite certain that you omitted half of the story. It was much worse otherwise dad wouldn't react so harshly. Out with it!"

Resigned, Victoria told the rest of the story. Kevin dropped his pants and Peter recorded it on his phone.

Miranda was aghast. She said, "I refrain from any comment because If I comment I definitely will say things I'm going to regret later. I'll leave you so you can try to sort this mess. Bye mother."

Miranda walked out of the door without looking back at the sobbing woman.

<><><><>

Late that afternoon Victoria came home from her work. She opened the front door determined to corner Peter and had it all out into the open.

She knew that she must grovel and beg, but she was certain that, in the end, he would relent. She went straight upstairs to change. After a shower and some perfume in strategic places she looked satisfied in the mirror. Dressed to the nines she saw a woman of average height, nice boobs and muscular legs looking longer by the stilts she wore. After this inspection she went to the kitchen to prepare Peter's favorite finger food.

Once in the kitchen she saw Peter's keyring. She started to panic and ran to the spare room. Empty! As if Peter had never been here. Now full-blown panic set in. She went downstairs again and dropped herself on the couch and sat there for an indeterminable time. Someone was knocking. Victoria got from the couch to answer the door. "Who is it?"

"Special delivery for Mrs. van Rijn!"

"Just put it in front. I'll pick it up later."

"Can't do Ma'am. I need a signature."

Victoria opened the door and saw a young man, smartly dressed holding a nicely wrapped box. She asked, "Do you know from whom it's from?" while she signed the receipt.

The man answered. "It says here, from your husband. Have a nice evening Ma'am." And the man left.

Victoria's heart soared. Did Peter come around? Did he finally accept her apologies? She opened the box. It contained two sealed envelopes. She ripped the seal on the first one and something fell with a ringing sound on the tiles. She looked around to find out what it was.

Then she saw it. It was Peter's wedding ring. She opened the second envelope. Out came the divorce papers. The world dropped from under her feet. She never felt so devastated. There was a short note. She started to read the note. It was one line.

It also held a restraining order for her and the copies from the ones for her brothers and one for her brother-in-law.

The second one held copies of the diary Peter kept. But Victoria's mind was already blank. She had never realized that a prank could cut so deep in one's soul.

<><><><>

It was already dark when her telephone woke out of her fugue. "Victoria here."

"What's this shit with the restraining order?" Her eldest brother almost shouted through the phone.

"Peter is way beyond being angry with us. Way beyond. He is so pissed that he served me with the divorce papers wrapped as a present. "

"Divorce papers as a present? What kind of sick joke is that? Has he become a cuckoo?"

"Well, it's what we did to him for the last ten years. It came with a note that said, I quote, "Maybe now you understand."

"What's the matter with him? Why would he write that?"

"Because of the last prank we pulled. Kevin had his pants down and Peter filmed it. Now I can't convince him that it wasn't real. He told me that he didn't care whether Kevin fucked me for real or not. He had been fucked over enough. He didn't say a word to me anymore and I found that his belongings were missing just before I got my 'present'."

"What is the reason to divorce you?"

"I'll have a look."

Victoria checked the documents. She gasped and could hardly read out loud what was written. "Prolonged mental cruelty, physical abuse and adultery. " She stammered.

Henry was speechless. Then he growled, "I'm going to have words with him. Nobody does that to my sister. If he can't take a joke. "

"You can't. Remember the restraining order. The little joke he just pulled at me hurts like hell and we did much worse to him."

"Mmff. I'll think about it."

A few weeks later

Peter was finalizing the planning and cost analysis for what he hoped to be, the next major project for his company. It was already very late when he decided that this project was a wrap. He hit the send-button. For the first time in weeks, he felt good.

His all-consuming, omnidirectional anger started to abate.

Because he was late the whole building and parking lot were closed off. Peter had to call security to let him out. But first, he acquired a 'coffee-card'

The company provided free coffee, but for the baristas there was an espresso machine that worked on a kind of debit card. The security people had to come out of their warm office to walk Peter out and open the gate for his car. This wasn't done remotely. The reason behind it was that security always must eyeball the one who left the building in addition to the cameras.

Peter was waiting for the security officer. He was reminiscing about his current life when there was a knock on the door. He took the coffee card and his laptop and opened the door.

To his surprise the officer was a gorgeous woman. Almost as tall as he was, very light brown-green eyes, short chestnut hair and even her uniform couldn't hide her hourglass figure.

She smiled and said, "Good evening, Sir. Hey I know you. You are helping my son with his homework at the communal center. Thank you for that. He is doing much better now. Are you ready to leave?"

Peter replied, "Yes. Before I forget. This is for you and your colleague for the inconvenience I caused the last few days. Now let's go."

"Thank you, Sir. But it's our job not an inconvenience."

"Can I ask your name? And call me Peter."

"Not at work Sir. I'm Meredith Green"

"Well Meredith I would love to invite you for dinner but I think Mr. Green wouldn't approve. Also, I'm not a very nice person at the moment."

Meredith smiled a sad smile, "There is no Mr. Green. Tobias's father did a runner before he was born. Here you are, Sir."

She opened the door for him and watched him walk to his car. When Peter opened the door of the car the shadows moved and two people started to beat him up.

Meredith immediately pressed the alarm. The lights went on in the foyer of the building and the carpark. One of them whacked Peter one more time with a baseball bat and both took off. They tried in vain to scale the fence and ran off to hide.

Within minutes the police arrived and together with Meredith's colleague they started to search the grounds. An hour later the two men were found and arrested.

<><><><>

Peter said his goodbyes to Meredith. He almost drowned in her eyes and when she said she wasn't attached he hoped to meet her again in the community center. With his mind still on Meredith he opened his car.

He heard a soft noise, tried to turn around when something hit him on the side of his head. Before his consciousness pulled back completely, he heard someone hiss, "Can't take a joke huh wimp."

When Peter opened his eyes again, he lay on his side. His head on a cushion or something, it was throbbing. He tried to sit but a sharp pain in his side told him to stay down.

He heard a feminine voice, "Lay still Peter. The ambulance will be here shortly. They hit you hard."

"What has happened?" He croaked.

"You were attacked. They ran after I pushed the alarm but they couldn't get off the premises. The Police are searching for them." Meredith replied.

Peter's brain started to function again. He started to chuckle, gasped and said, "Ouch. That hurts. They got me good, the cowards. Ten to one they're my almost ex-wife's brothers."

The ambulance arrived and the medic looked him over.

"That must hurt." She stated while she was checking his ribs.

"You bet." Peter grimly said through clenched teeth. Despite the cold, sweat was running over his face, from the pain.

"We need some x-rays to ensure that there is no internal damage. I'm going to zap you with some ketamine for the pain. Otherwise, you are not going to like our transport service very much."

Peter nodded and immediately the medic carefully jabbed a needle in his vein. Soon after that, the moon started to smile back at him. Peter never noticed that the medics carefully lifted him on a stretcher.

<><><><>

Peter came to his senses again. He looked around and slowly became aware that he was in a hospital bed. He felt like he was hit by an avalanche. He was nauseous and his head was throbbing. He looked around. Meredith was still there. His children were here too! And they looked apprehensive.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

Miranda replied. "Mum is outside, with aunt Elizabeth. They want to see you."

Sorry kids, I don't want to see your mother. Not now, not ever, never. Besides, there is a restraining order in place. Meredith, please tell them to leave. Tell my sister-in-law that I'll call her as soon as I can."

The doctor came in. The rest stepped out for a moment. With the door open Peter heard the two sisters quarrel loudly.

Peter heard Victoria berating Elizabeth, "Didn't it occur to you that you should've warned him, or the company? One simple phone call? Now he is in the hospital again! And again, it's us to blame. If he ever hears it was our brothers doing this to him? The world will be too small."

The door closed softly behind Meredith, but Peter heard enough. He sighed softly and was immediately rewarded with a jolt of pain. He grimaced to the doctor who said, "You might be careful with that. The x-rays showed several hairline fractures in your ribs. They are also badly bruised as is your pelvis. I think they tried to hit you in the crotch. You have a concussion. As a result of all that, you need to stay here at least for a few days for observation. Do you agree with that?"

"Do I have a choice? Yes, of course. If we're done. Can you ask the security officer waiting outside to come in? please?"

"Of course. I'll check on you later again. But please take it easy. No walking around, understood?"

The doctor left and Meredith entered the room again.

"How are you feeling?" She asked with worry in her voice. "It's my fault I should've reacted quicker."

"Meredith. It's nobody's fault but those two assholes and my sister-in-law, whom I just heard confessing to my wife that she failed to warn me. What a family of in-laws do I have!" Peter said bitterly. He went on. "Can I ask you a favor?"

Meredith nodded and spoke. "If I can help you. Yes, within my possibilities."

"I just overheard my wife and her sister. So, my brothers-in-law planned this. Can you inform the police? I don't want my children involved. They don't need to get involved. There is a restraining order for all but my sister-in-law. Remind my wife please?"

"Sure. Anything else?"

"When can we have dinner?"

"Cheeky already huh. As soon as you're on the mend."

Next afternoon.

Peter was sitting upright in bed. The x-rays showed no internal damage, other than the cracks in his ribs. They taped his ribcage to stabilize it a bit, but it was still very painful. On the good side, his head was feeling way better and his queasiness was almost gone. A nurse looked around the corner and asked if he could have a visitor. Peter expected someone from work so he replied to let the person in. To his surprise Elizabeth entered the room, sat next to the bed and simply asked,

"How are you, Peter?"

Peter looked at her and replied chagrined, "I'm stuck in a hospital bed, so what do you think?"

"Did they hurt you badly? The hospital didn't want to tell us and my niece and nephews ignored me and Victoria completely."

"My ribs and pelvis are bruised and I have a concussion. Yeah, they got me good."

There was an uncomfortable silence in which Peter decided to address the elephant in the room.

He spoke. "But it wasn't necessary, wasn't it? I could have been avoided."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Don't play innocent Elizabeth. I overheard part of your 'little' discussion with Victoria yesterday. Enough to know that you were aware that they were going to mug me. All those nice words about 'in love' with me huh. But family first, as always."

Elizabeth's face first went red and then she went white as a sheet. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

Peter was unrelenting and went on, "You were the only one I trusted after everything that happened. Can you explain why you choose to break that trust? Why did you decide not to warn me? And another thing. Not warning me makes you an accomplice. Did you realize that?"

Elizabeth looked like a fish on land. Her mouth opened and closed but still nothing came out.

Peter said, "You'd better leave. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. Just like the rest of your family. Now tell me one last thing. Do I need to ask for a restraining order for you as well?"

Elizabeth fled the room.

Some weeks later.

Peter had a very good time with Meredith during their dinner. They liked each other immensely after that evening.

They continued to see each other, and their relationship slowly progressed. When Peter visited Meredith, he had a little shadow in Tobias. Peter found out that Meredith fell in love with someone from her former employer and thought it was mutual. They even talked about marriage and children. By sheer accident she found out that he was talking to two other women about the same subjects.

Unknowingly the jackass put the moves on her stepsister Addison and Meredith, curious about the date of her little sister, looked through the curtains and found her in a passionate embrace with, what she thought, her future husband.

Softly she walked out, came up behind the oblivious couple and tapped the man on his shoulder. He turned around scowling to see who interrupted the romantic get-together and looked at a furious Meredith.

He had just enough time to stammer, "Meredith, what are you doing here?" before she kicked him in his balls.

Addison looked at her and she shrieked, "Why are you doing that?"

Meredith was now sobbing and haltingly she replied, "Dissie, I just found out that I'm pregnant. From him!"