All Comments on 'One Last Bet'

Very interesting story!

5

An interesting scenario. Hard to parse what they were accomplishing by the bet. I wasn’t clear what would happen if neither said “uncle.” 4 stars for originality. But if I had my druthers, I wanted him to end up with Mandy.

The viability of humans as an ongoing species is in jeopardy!

Fiction? Okay .... but thinking like this is intellectual(?) suicide.

5 stars, really well written, and I really liked it, but Ivan should not have stayed with Nat at all. Dumping your husband for a job shows she didn't really want him, and that bet of hers was vile. This just postpones the tragic breakup of their marriage.

Stupid! How could 2 people who love each other destroy what they have.

What a pair of unpleasant individuals. Seriously, the sheer insanity of their actions is befitting children and not mature adults.

“Let’s not talk about this and do what we have to to make our marriage work” it’s straight to let’s get divorced so we don’t cheat on each other.

Fucking morons.

What absolutely mindless and ridiculously awful drivel.

1* and even that is too high a score.

A most novel situation.

Good mature story, well worked out.

Can't wait for all the incels living in their basements to post.

Without hyperbole, this is a vile and repugnant story line. The concept of determining whether to terminate a pregnancy by playing a game of extramarital sexual chicken has to be the new moral and ethical nadir here in LW. To so trivialize our existence serves only to demean and disparage a species shaped by its Creator in His own image. The disclosure that Randi was involved in the development of this submission is terribly disappointing. Her actions reflect poorly on herself and bring Literotica into shameful disrepute. The decision to publish this travesty represents a premeditated assault on the value and dignity of human life. Inexplicably, Literotica has cast the die and left the Rubicon far behind.

Very unique concept.

Writing could have been a bit more clearer.

Anyway, we'll written

What the HECK was that about??!

Some stupid people concocting stupid dramas to spice their stupid life.

I lost brain cells after reading this.

I've seen enough stories crediting Blackrand for help editing and must say I'm not impressed, s/he really outdid themself this time not picking up you switching back and forth between Ivan and Ian.

Good story and I can imagine that sort of craziness happening where people just don't communicate fully.

Thanks for sharing. (I'm sure you'll get plenty of cuck wimp comments, good luck with that)

Lord, what fools these mortals be! How they managed to crawl out of the hole they’d dug for themselves is a mystery! Mandy was the only level headed one of the three. Alas, all’s well that ends well! (Sorry Will).

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It’s good to read a new HP73 story. Thanks very much.

Regardless of his motivations Ivan agreed to the bet. So, I won't demonize Nar for some her activities at the party.

The part that I think would have been hard for Ivan to get over is that she could see how upset he was and she kept on going and was willing to go all the way and watch him suffer as she did.

Regardless if f the job offer, pregnancy, miscarriages or anything else that factored into the concocting this bet. The fact that she was willing to make him suffer, watch him suffer and keep going further because she was too competitive to lose a bet ... Doesn't sound much like a woman who really loves her husband.

That was drama..... For nothing!! Stupid tale about stupid people.

What a childish type of bet. I know they were both aged 26 but.... how stupid could they BOTH be.

What emotionally complex monsters. Even as a pro-choice individual it's insane to imagine putting the pregnancy you've been trying for for years at risk. More unforgivable than any of the cheating honestly. Also, for such apparently devoted loving people to not fuck for two years is equally insane. Are they trying to say since puberty neither of them have gone 2 years without any? Bro people in real marriages have dry spells longer than that without cheating. If one of them got cancer and couldn't fuck for 2 years the other would straight up dip?

5 stars for originality, 5 for quality and depth, 1 star for believability. Overall 3.5

Ok, kind of an interesting idea of a story. But I was lost throughout most, and the end was ehh..please keep writing..

The situation was highly contrived, but not inconceivable. Their approach to resolution was strange. I wouldn’t have been able to conceive the bet. All that said, the author was able to spin an engaging story…even though I kept thinking WTF throughout the story. I’ve missed HotProf, so It was great to see a new story, I sure hope that there are more stories to come, though that future may be in doubt. It was sure fun while it lasted!

The story was a really well written mess. The setup for the storyline was convoluted beyond words, causing me to look around wondering if I was in the Twilight Zone. As crazy as the plot was, I did enjoy the soft landing you gave us. 4*

Hotprof is the only writer on here that can have me hoping it’s a BTB to going 180 and hoping for reconciliation. He did it in Change of Rules, Freddy Fingers and did it again. Great twist and being a parent, I went from looking down at the MC to understanding and respecting. A little out there situation, but that’s the prof. I’m sure the incels will hate this though

Can't see how that situation could ever develop. D

You did a good job presenting your plot, but I just couldn't buy into the remote possibility something like that could happen, especially between two people with s few scruples. The bet was a no-win deal regardless of how it turned out. Two people made a bet guaranteed to make them both lose far more than they could win.

just no!!!

Some women are so fucked in the head and naturaly selfish. They have used hormonial activity so much to explain their actions and get away with it, they know the truth but will not allow the truth to show they are wrong. Luckily not all women come from the same pot.

I don't see how she could advocate for what she did or why he went along with it. Just the suggestion would have killed any respect he had for her and going along with it would have nullified any respect or love she had for him, if she had any to begin with. The fact that she made a life altering decision, going to New Zealand for a job, without considering his input was just not believable. I think he needs to move on down the line and not accept any of her friends as a consolation, like some poster said before, just get on with his life. Not your best idea for a story, in my opinion.

Of course the story was well written and sanity prevailed in the last few paragraphs. The first two pages were the musings of two incredibly shallow narcissistic idiots. Having a bet to determine if you abort a child? Wow, unbelievable. Choosing a fucking job over your spouse and child? That should never have even been a thought, let alone a discussion, argument and ridiculous bet.

HP73, I have enjoyed most of your stories, but this one was disturbing.

Absolutely Perfect, Thank You! I will carry copies of this story with me to illustrate the devolution of our society, instigated in large part by the loss of respect for human life. There are small skeletons in the natural history museum in Mexico City showing the remnants of South American native cultures that sacrificed children as an act of worship to God. Today the God is money, career, convenience, and the sacrifice is called Abortion. And that fact that this story could be written and submitted as a legitimate and believable tale of conflict in a modern millennial marriage is one more reflection of the depravity that infects a significant segment of our society. This story should be in the wrong category. It should be in Fantasy/Science fiction, or Non-consent Reluctance, or maybe even (black) Humor. What intelligent civilized person could think this plot is believable?

Maybe, maybe, it might serve as a foil to illustrate the dehumanizing influence of the Feminist movement? A mother is going to divorce her husband and kill her child to facilitate her professional advancement. What sort of monstrous perversion of the human psyche thinks that is a plausible plot for a story? We know: the modern American Leftist Academic Culture; the University. The Ivory Tower? Laughable. A blood drenched crypt, a dungeon, a torture chamber where impressionable minds are twisted and bent, to create more acolytes. Yeah, maybe This Time evil will win. Keep your fingers crossed, while you keep your legs open. Their arrogance is exceeded only by their ignorance, Thank God. And thanks for the effort.

Really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing!

First of all…THAT was a really good story well told.

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As to tne plot itself…..just Holy Fuck…Natalie was nuts! Firstly, of course, for choosing her fucking job over her marriage (and we have to accept the premise that Ivan could NOT give up his job and go with her). But even more despicable….initiating a fucking bet putting her unborn child on the line! WTF! If she wins, she aborts it and goes to NZ…but if she loses she keeps it, but still goes to NZ? Absolutely demented!

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I think Ivan may be better off without that Slut in his life. Her values are warped beyond measure.

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4 ****

Welcome back! A well-written, original story. I dropped my rating to 4 stars because I had trouble following the convoluted bet. Please write more stories.

Creative story, but what a selfish couple of pricks.

I've read a number of stupid stories but this one is really the worst !

Total bullshit. A headstrong woman like Nat would NEVER give up her dream job for a kid and/or her husband. You should have let him marry Mandy, get the child, have five more with Mandy, then have them run into the extremely wealthy but miserable Nat many years later. Your Nat character deserved nothing but heartache and misery even before the party.

I see Cuckprof still hasn't learned to write while he was gone. Writing and grammar so bad its unreadable. Making up names to say they edited your work is pathetic like you. Again the same old willing cuck story with a neutered man taking the cheating slut back at the end, but what else would you expect from cuck prof who just recylces the same plot of and over again. Only a cuck would like this story

This was an awesomely interesting take on love and fidelity

Holy shit. Just when I was sure that LW was doomed to cookie cutter stories forever, this comes along.

You have my thanks for hitting every one of my benchmarks: originality, competent and concise writing, heartfelt drama, dialogue instead of stilted soliloquies… and avoidance of the juvenile BTB bullshit.

Weird.

Something new. Although, I'm not sure keeping Nat was the right choice, saving their baby was. If staying with her is the sacrifice he had to make, so be it. You will probably have commentors that would say he shouldn't interfere with her choice to terminate, anyone who would feel that way is evil anyway. Thanks

I would say this was a different take on what I expect for “One Last Bet.” I did like how you had the twist and turns in the story line. However, one of the tags should have been RACC. I say that because I thought the story earned my good read mark and the ⭐⭐⭐ I gave it. I think you are going to get many hater comments because it is RACC and considered cuckold. To that I say so what.

Frankly while didn’t enjoy the ending based on the bulk of the story, it is your story and was well written. While I didn’t give it ⭐⭐⭐⭐ or ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Many people will just because how you developed the story and tied everything together. For those same reason the haters are going to hate.

Just remember all of these comments are our opinions and take away what you wish from them. I don’t remember reading or commenting on any of your other works, but I will have to investigate them to see if my impression of this one fills out in your other. I have a feeling they will mostly be good read such as this one. That alone will make reading them a good adventure. Who knows I may even find a few gems that knock my emotional socks off and I will have to give you ⭐⭐⭐⭐ or ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐that others have given this one.

Thanks for writing this one and setting the hook for me to read more of your works.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Amusing, I can't believe that two idiots were able to figure out how to conceive a child.

A powerful story, with the two main characters acting pretty crazy and desperate. I can't imagine this happening in real life, but I enjoyed the story very much. Beautifully written ending!

Thanks, ohio

Idea how to take this, kinda a load of garbage. Should never have been a f-ing bet.

Supurb...5++++

I understand this story, the fear of losing another baby is soul crushing and the fear when carrying is a black cloud over you constantly. You did write this very well, with compassion and true feeling. How many of the commenters that blurt out stupidity have ever written anything? Having the loss of 3 babies and the massive high of having been given the offer of a truly high-ranking position in a large corporation for a woman, the stress alone can ruin a person, much less a marriage. I failed that test and left my family, i regret it minute by minute each day of what's left of my life.

OMG this is so sick and I truly hope the never gets to reality. If the job is more important to her than him then yes, divorce and move on. But this game made no sense at all! Add in the pregnancy and the possible termination is even more absurd. Why would she have the kid then ship it back home? Again, no sense.

Well written. Very uncomfortable to read, and remember. No vote.

Very unique premise, with wonderfully complex emotional currents. I get that some people are going to be triggered over the abortion aspect of the story, but it's not like that's not on the table for many in real life. This is excellent writing -- thanks!

Disturbing...

The fact that they based the life of a child on a stupid bet makes this story pretty disgusting, and I’ve read some disgusting things on here. (Most of them written by that loser 26thNC-Iammweasel)

A thoroughly unpleasant story, both acting like spoilt brats for in the playground. They were talking about a human life, albeit still in the womb. Unable to empathise with either of them.

Hmmm let's see... a perfect husband, selfish and mindless wife - wife cheats, regrets and then sorry-cry sorry-cry sorry-cry. Happy ending.

So original... not.

"he couldn't not smile watching her." Editor, seriously?

Never mind, 1973 means you have another forty years to write the exact same story with different variations.

Maybe Tilan will write another "Betty's Bet" to inspire you.

I liked it, and congrats on writing something different from the tropes and cliches. I thought you could have sold the job situation and new offer better. It's hard to fathom getting such an offer, and harder still to believe a happy wife would ditch her marriage, family, and friends, her entire life essentially, for a job on the opposite side of the planet. "Indecent Proposals" work (as an idea) b/c the payoff is huge and the costs temporary. Her costs here are extreme, and she has to move to NZ and start a new life. I agree that the writing on the last page could have been more clear; I had to read several passages a few times.

i gave you a 4* for such an outside the box story. It wasn't a 5 because it was just TOO far outside of the box.

Very good story, unique and well crafted. I miss your writing

I would have dumped her. Sounds like a selfish, self centered bitch. I have to say the story line while inventive, was very sick. Betting the life of a child on a foolish game? Just not right.

too much...should have never used the pregnancy as betting fodder...that really sucks..you could have

done the story without that and not missed a beat. Kinda sad in this generation we often take a flippant attitude

toward giving birth. I understand she was considering aborting the fetus due to her fear of misscarrying again..

but still its a plot device you should have let out....

I'm glad it was just a story. Otherwise, I would be terribly concerned about some poor child that had to grow up as the off-spring of the two stupidest people on the planet. Other than that, I enjoyed the story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

cucks get one star

dont want one star?

use the cuck tag so people who dont like cuck shit are not suckered into reading cuck shit

Ivan or Ian? Which is it? Pick one...

Certainly one of the most confusing stories I've read on Literotica. I guess it ended happily, but I'm not sure exactly what happened. 3* for effectiveness - 6* for confusion.

What a seriously fucked up couple.

A rambling story. With only one end in sight. As for your editor loss her ASAP.

Yeah, men may actually have feelings. But, who cares!!!

Don't listen to some people. It's a real situation and the people you descirbed acted as they would have. It's a sad and heartbreaking story with a happy end but life ain't all roses and these themes evoke emotion. I enjoyed it and thought it flowed well. Nat was afraid and fear can drive e us to do ruel and hurtful things.

If I knew these people, I would end their lives. This is pure horseshit.

Well-told story about stupid people.

Dubious about the 'happily ever after' once the glow has faded, but that ain't my problem.

Confusing as fuck. Three stars

Interesting story, but to really prove a point Ivan should have just walked away after finding her in the backyard. If she fucked someone or not, the marriage was over. I realize he was doing it for the unborn, but could he really trust her to go over seas and have the child? How would her knew employers have felt about losing her for two months after just six months of work? She needed psychiatric help, not a new job.

Re: Anonymous: "Her actions reflect poorly on herself and bring Literotica into shameful disrepute."

You've been online too long. Take a break.

Inventive and well written.

This story is so much better than the score indicates. Well done.

Simply a superb read for which I thank you. The anons opinions never count.

The balls on the Prof doing a story like this knowing full well the people who hate it would be out for blood. I loved it and even got a bit teary at the end. Writing as strong as always, but less of the typos I expect. Keep Randi as an editor, she has made a difference. 5 stars easily

Well, it was pretty damn weird but I liked it.

Gave it four* because it was well written and pretty original.

This could have gone full marks if you would have written out, convincingly of course, the repercussions from Nat's night of destroying relationships.

Thank you.

Well that was pure USDA Grade A pile of shit.

You may have put some thought into the lay out but in the end you failed.

Well, that anonymous rant castigating the story, author, and editor (Randi, no less!) does reflect the disquiet that I felt, and which resulted in a QuickMagazine 4, instead of the 5 this probably deserves. But I cannot second that Anon's emotion, which seems both political and rigid. I do agree with Mightyheart, though, that this was a more opaque read than necessary. Still, it's a keeper, not the least because it ends well.

Well, if anyone says this is a trope or cliche, they are silly. Pretty well written and I gave it a high score for the character of Mandy, of everyone in the story she is the moral center. Honestly Natalie had serious issues and both of them are not exactly saintly ppl. I will grant that Natalie taking the job in NZ was likely her wanting to run away from her being pregnant,she really was fucked up ( and needed help she obviously didnt get). Couples who bet to humiliate the other have serious problems too.

That said, Mandy keeping them together, giving them both a kick in the pants, and seeing reason was why this worked, it is a clever writer who can take 2 somewhat conceited ppl and make them likeable by the end. Amanda warranted a 5, the 2 disagreeable ppl made it a 3, so gave it a 4 by fuzzy math.

Again this was good writing. As far as the person bringing up the God squad, they end up doing the right thing thanks to Mandy ( hey, didn't Jesus get bad ppl to do good? ) More importantly this is an erotic fiction site, not the New Christian Reader. Mandy is the hero here, she deserves a good story too!

P.S. I thought this got scored way too low.

This quiet man really appreciated it.

Pretty good.

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The miscarriages were weighing heavy.

Well, that was a different type of 5* read.

Good job.

Very, very different. Very, very good.

I am greatly amused by the anonymous asshole who, in comments, rails against the abortion theme in this story, and blames the writer, the editor, the horse they rode in on and perhaps the family dog for the end of the fucking world. This category has degenerated into crushed testicles on a daily basis, occasional murders and all around mayhem. To suggest that abortion is not a suitable topic for this category is ridiculous. Cheating is wrong, lying is wrong, stealing is wrong, but all of that shit is part of the category. It seems the dude wants a porn site that features no bad decisions, except maybe cheating and having balls crushed or removed. What a dumb fuck to come to Literotica and seek moral guidance, or to offer it,

What a roller coaster ride of emotion. Two stupid people luckily having a very good friend who saves them from themselves. I despise the silly wife for her wrongheaded thinking, but yep repeated miscarriages can play with a woman’s mind.

In the end lm glad they stayed together.

Scores 5/5 great story. Keep writing.

What a disappointment. 2*

Pure crap. To save a pregnancy or abort. To move to another job so one has needs and sex with others.. crap crap crap.

Great story

I didn’t quite get why he could t get out of a contract to work for two years. Is he an indentured servant? A professional footballer? What exactly is his job that he can’t give reasonable notice and then leave? The armed forces? CIA?

Murder a baby based on a bet? A new low

Gave it 5 * for originality and good writing. Probably one of the most original LW stories in many years. That said it left me conflicted. The purposeful infliction of pain on someone you declare to love? How can they ever trust you after that... so I find the husband staying with the wife difficult. The ending seemed forced and was the only part I found awkward

Thank you for writing

That was super convoluted and Ivan is a dumbass in many ways…but so is Nat.

I'm rather disappointed in Randi too, but I've felt that way since she started championing the cause for cuckold story writers. I didn't like this story at all, which surprises me because I enjoyed many of his others. 2 stars.

1* This so-called story might be the result of alcohol psychosis by the author and editor. Get Help Now!

Seems hard to think a pregnant woman would give up her baby and her husband for a job. I guess all things are possible. Well thought out little tale.

A very interesting story with twisrs I didn't expect. And they lived happily ever after. Four stars.

Idiotic story in every way. One star, because abstaining doesn't drag down the average.

I can't imagine the effort something like this takes to finish- thinking it thru, making all the loose ends come together. For originality it can't be beat. For content, well, after Nat slapped Trenton, she should have slapped herself as well. For childishness and selfishness, she takes the cake. All to avoid the possibility of a miscarriage? 'I might lose this baby, so I'll just kill it now, along with wrecking my reputation and my loving husbands'. Yes, that's a plan.......

After the first page and 2 paragraphs of the second I quit. A complete total waste of time and BS. There was no loving wife, just two screwed up people teasing each other in an asinine situation.

High marks for a creatively distinct plot. Well done indeed. Thanks for the time and effort you spent crafting the story.