One More Time

He opened his eyes again to meet hers. "Do you really think you could pull that off? That we could?"

She held his gaze for several quiet moments, then turned and settled her cheek into his chest again with a sigh. "I don't know. Probably not." She closed her eyes against the tears welling up.

Stroking her back gently, Jim sighed again. "Probably not. And even if we did, I don't know if that's healthy. But I do know it's absolutely not fair to you. Or me for that matter."

Her tracing finger stilled at some point, her hand lying flat on his broad chest. They lay together in silence, both resigning themselves to the reality of the conversation and what it meant for their futures.

"So," she began slowly. "This is it? This is where we end and go our separate ways?"

Jim looked at the ceiling, not wanting to say it out loud. Then she rose, spinning to sit with her legs to the side away from him.

"What if I don't accept that?" She said, crossing her arms defiantly over her bare breasts. Jim shifted his head slightly, looking at her quizzically.

"Don't accept it? Baby- "

"No. I don't accept that this is where we end. We've gone through too much bullshit together over the years for this to just end here."

Jim sighed, rubbing his palm across his face. "Sierra- "

"No. I love you, James Hansen. I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you, and that isn't just going to...go away because you say so."

Jim sat up, sliding back against the headboard.

"Sierra, it's not because I say so. It's reality. I am gone for months at a time, and that tears you apart. No," he held up a hand forestalling her protest. "Let me finish. The months I am gone tear you up inside because you can't stop worrying about something happening to me, and because you want me right here next to you every night. No, hang on." He took her hands in his. "Baby, that is completely fair for you to want me home every night. You deserve that, I have never said otherwise. But that's not me. I like my job and the guys I work with- "

"You get off on the adrenaline from doing dangerous things."

He paused at her statement, then nodded. "Yes, I do. But that's me, that is part and parcel of what makes me who I am. If you are completely honest, that is part of what attracted you from the get-go."

Sierra opened her mouth to protest, but one wouldn't come out. She closed her mouth, and cocked her head slightly, furrowing her brow.

"I...I never thought about it, but yes. You're right. On some level that is one of the things I love about you, your willingness to do the difficult things where other men won't."

"And just like I am saying it is unfair to force you into accepting my absence, it's unfair for you to want to change who I am. You have to let me be the man I am."

Her mouth opened again, but nothing came out. She slowly hung her head slightly, nodding. Then she stopped, and raised her head to look at him again.

"What if I wanted to learn to accept your absence, so I could have you to myself when you are home?"

"Wait, what?"

She pulled her hands free, and then took hold of his. "You said it was unfair to force me, what if I chose to accept it willingly?"

He blinked at her several times, his mind reeling from where the conversation had gone. "So, you think you can choose to accept it? And that will work?"

She nodded eagerly, still holding his hands. In any other situation he would have laughed at this.

"Okay...Don't take this the wrong way, but if you can choose to accept it, then why haven't you in the past?" he said gently, raising his eyebrows.

Sierra opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. Opened again, closed again. She stared him in the eye for several long seconds as he could almost see her brain working. Finally, she shrugged.

"I don't know. I think at first maybe I thought this was a temporary job and you would move on to a 'normal' job. For me, if nothing else. And when you didn't, when it never even came up, that hurt me, you know?"

"Sierra- "

She waved him off, blinking back tears. "That was what led to our first break up. But that wasn't fair to you, and I know that. I figured that out back then, which is why I tried again."

"And?" he asked softly.

She shrugged again and looked at the bed. "I don't know, I think I thought I could wear you down or something. That at some point you would settle down, so to speak. You would get whatever this was out of your system." She paused to wipe tears from her eyes, cursing herself softly for not being able to stop them. Then she looked at him again. "But I know now that wasn't fair either. I have to let you be the man you are. You said that a minute ago, but I realized that while you were gone this time. I realized that this is part of what I love about you, and it's something you love. It's something I'll have to share you with for the foreseeable future, and I think I'm finally...almost okay with that."

Jim sighed again, resting his head back against the wall. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, trying to think of what to say and failing. Finally, he looked down at her.

"I don't know, Sierra. I still think- "

Grinning wickedly, Sierra spun her legs around behind her, settling onto her stomach between his open legs. She looked at his flaccid cock, lying across his upper thigh, then looked up at him. Still grinning, she rolled slightly on her side, laying her head on his thigh so the head of his penis was right in front of her lips. Still looking up at him with those piercing blue eyes, she shifted her head forward until his head was just inside her parted lips. She softly suckled on the tip, lolling her tongue around and around as his cock stiffened.

"Oh, that's not fair..." he trailed off as his engorging member, slowly lengthening as it filled with blood, pushed itself deeper into her willing mouth. She grinned around his cock in her mouth, sliding one hand up to cradle and fondle his heavy balls. He groaned in response, unable to take his eyes off this sexy minx expertly fellating him back to full hardness.

As his erection lengthened and grew, she adjusted with it, keeping her lips just past the head. As it began to stand up of its own accord, she rolled onto her elbows, finally losing eye contact in the process. Once it was standing proudly, she shifted forward slightly and rose just enough to stroke her mouth down his length a few times. She couldn't quite deep throat him, especially at this angle, but she had spent enough time with his cock in her mouth over the years that she could control her gag reflex when he hit the back of her throat.

Once she was satisfied with the turgor of his erection, she slowly pushed up on her hands and knees, letting his length slide from her lips. Rising to face him again, she leaned in and kissed him as she climbed into his lap, her bent legs spreading to either side of his hips as she straddled him. Once she was in position, she reached between them to guide his cock to meet her wetness. Slipping just the head into her entrance, she paused there and moved her hips languidly, massaging his glans with her moist nether lips.

Jim could taste them both on her tongue in his mouth, adding to his arousal. He moaned into her mouth as she again teased his cock, this time with her vagina. She broke the kiss, sitting back to watch his face as she continued slathering the head of his cock only an inch deep in her wetness, that same wicked grin on her face.

"Tell me we can try again." She said softly.

Jim grunted, trying to make his brain and mouth work in spite of the sensations overriding his thoughts. "Sierra...fuck...that's not...fair..."

She giggled saucily. "Tell me. We can try. Again." She said softly, but somehow more forcefully than before. Her hips continued to slowly circle him, her wetness driving him crazy with lust.

Jim went to raise his arms, intending to pull her down on his cock, putting an end to whatever game this was. She quickly grabbed both arms, pinning them where they were. He could have easily overpowered her, and she knew that. He chose to let her win and kept his arms where they were.

"Sierra..."

She raised her eyebrows and slightly lifted her face, waiting expectantly for his answer, her mouth an open grin. Still the damn hip circles; he thought he could hear her wetness on his cockhead.

Unable to say it, he simply nodded his assent. She teased just a moment longer, then slowly slid down his length, groaning and shuddering as she fell into him. She paused once he was buried in her, twitching as she lay against his chest.

"Thank God," she groaned. "I don't know how much longer I could have held out."

Jim laughed, wrapping his arms around her. She shifted her legs, wrapping them around his hips before looking up to kiss him, keeping him buried to the root as she began to slowly grind back and forth on his thickness. They kissed passionately, groaning into each other's mouth, her hips continuing to move forward and back seemingly of their own accord.

She broke the kiss, pulling back slightly to meet his eyes. "I was just playing, you know that, right?" A moan interrupted her words. "I want to try again, but this was just having fun, not really trying to be manipulative." She looked at him plaintively, her hips pausing.

"I know baby." He leaned in and kissed her sweet lips, prompting her hips to resume their excruciatingly slow movement on his cock.

Her hands came up, cradling his face as she kissed him tenderly, passionately. She moved faster, still grinding on his cock. He felt wetness on his cheeks and pulled back slightly to see tears rolling down hers. She smiled through the tears, never missing a stroke.

"Don't cry, baby." He said gently, one hand stroking through her hair. "You've got me. You've always had me, from the first time we met."

His words prompted more tears, and she fell into him, hugging him tightly as she sobbed gently into his neck. Her face came up again, and she kissed him fervently, her tongue invading his mouth as her hips moved ever faster. He cupped her sweet neck with one hand, the other gripping her perfect little ass as it flailed back and forth on his cock. She moaned sweetly into his mouth, whimpering with need. He felt her body tensing, feeling her near her orgasm. She pulled back again, locking eyes with him as she rode him toward her climax. He felt his building as well, and he tried to hump up into her awkwardly, trying to help.

She smiled slightly and shook her head. "Let me, baby." He nodded dumbly, enjoying the torture of her movements as she drove them both forward. Her ice blue eyes bore into his, her face an ever-changing show of emotions as she rode him feverishly. A slight sheen of sweat caused her body to glisten in the half light, small bits of her hair sticking to the sides of her face as she worked her little body over his.

She felt him swelling inside her as he neared his end and maintained her pace despite her panting. She felt him erupt inside her, shooting hot jets of his seed deep into her being. This triggered her own climax, her body exploding on his. They grunted and moaned, never breaking eye contact. Her hips became erratic, so he took control, driving her back and forth on his cock, riding them both through their shared orgasm. The ecstasy slowly subsided, and he allowed her to slow to a stop on his lap. She lay against his chest bonelessly, panting into his neck. He lay back against the headboard, his hands still resting on her perfect little ass.

*

Morning dawned, greeted by Jim who was already awake. Coming home always took a couple days for his sleep schedule to adjust. Instead of tossing and turning like he normally would, he lay on his side, admiring the sleeping form of his beautiful Sierra.

She slowly opened her eyes after the morning sun found them, looking up to find him watching her. She closed her eyes for a moment longer, then opened them again, smiling groggily up at him.

"Morning baby," she said, and tried to stretch without losing contact with him. "How long have you been staring at me?"

Jim smiled. "I don't know. It always takes me a few days to adjust, you know that."

She nodded, remembering. Not wanting to get up, she snuggled into him, kissing his chest. Jim wrapped an arm around her, giving her a gentle squeeze before letting his arm rest around her. They lay like this, comfortable, for a few minutes.

Sierra shifted and looked up at him again. "Last night..."

Jim smiled down at her. "Last night we found each other again."

Sierra smiled and, content, buried her face into his chest again.

"It's about damn time," came her muffled response from his chest.