One Step at a Time

She felt a slight amount of apprehension as she entered the building. No one was there so she headed toward her room and on the way passed the front desk. The principal's secretary saw her then did a double take. Her eyes opened wide and her mouth hung open for the briefest of moments before she recovered.

"Miss Adams?" she said cheerfully.

"Yes, hi, Katie!" she said also very cheerfully.

"Wow! I saw the picture you sent the principal, but I couldn't believe that was you. But...wow! You look...amazing!"

"Thank you so much!" she said. "I feel...amazing!"

The principal heard them talking and came out of his office. "Welcome back, Miss Adams," he said. "Or would that just be...welcome?" He smiled and extended his hand. "Do you have a minute?" he asked.

Brooke followed him in and sat her things down, then sat up straight in the chair and crossed her legs, smiled and waited.

"I just wanted to touch on a couple of things. The first is to let you know you have my complete support." Brooke thanked him for that. "Also, when it comes to restrooms, you may use whichever restroom you prefer, as may any student. While I have reservations about non-transgendered boys using the girls' restrooms, I understand the administration's policies and am bound to support them. In your case, it's a done deal."

"Thank you, and just to let you know, I will only ever be using the girls' restrooms on campus."

"Do you have any concerns I need to know about?"

"I can't think of any," Brooke said politely.

"Okay, that's great. Oh. One more thing. If you encounter any kind of bigotry or hear things that make you feel uncomfortable, I want you to let me know immediately."

"I appreciate that, too," she told him. "I expect to hear a few comments from students. After all, they are still children and kids say things. I'm pretty sure I can handle it, but should something come up that I can't deal with, I will definitely let you know."

"Okay. Very well, then. We have a faculty meeting at 9 o'clock in the cafeteria so I guess I'll see you there."

Brooke grabbed her things and after chatting briefly with the secretary again, headed toward her classroom. She smiled when she saw 'Miss Adams, math' next to her door. She no sooner got inside and set her things at her desk than she heard a knock.

"My eyes are closed but I can't wait to see you!" she heard a familiar voice say.

"Traci?" Brooke said in her new voice. "Come in, please!"

She saw Traci take a few steps, her eyes still closed, then stop. "Okay, here goes!" she said. When she opened them, they immediately found Brooke and her reaction was just as immediate. "Oh, my God! Look at you! You're gorgeous!" She walked quickly to her desk and held out her arms. Brooke stood up and hugged her as Traci said, "You know I hate you now, right—bitch?" before they both started laughing. "My God...you're absolutely beautiful. I...I can't believe this is you." Traci gave the once-over several times, shaking her head the entire time. "I'm...speechless!"

Brooke gave her all of the details concerning her transition since that last time they spoke. "Your mom is a saint! I don't even know her, but I love her so much! You're a very lucky girl, Brooke." She paused then said, "It's weird but saying that wasn't strange at all. It just felt...right."

"Hey, we need to get to the cafeteria," Traci said at 8:55. "Oh, have you seen the new math teacher yet?"

"New math teacher?" Brooke said as she grabbed her things and followed Traci.

"Uh-huh. He's as cute as you used to be, you know, back in the day."

Brooke laughed and said, "What about this boyfriend of yours that seemed to be getting serious?"

"Yeah, he turned out to be a real dick. He was seeing someone else the whole time." Traci smiled then said, "Men!" causing both of them to laugh again.

There were a lot of looks and more than a few stares as Brooke entered the cafeteria. She and Traci took a seat and both of them realized that virtually every head in the room had turned to take a peek or gawk. That said, there were quite a few smiles and nods, so...a mixed bag kind of reception. So far, so good.

After some lengthy opening remarks and imparting his philosophy/vision for the upcoming school year, the principal said, "I want to take a few moments to welcome our new teachers before I let you get back to work. First of all, we have Ms. Edna Sanchez, who's joining us from Laredo, Texas. Edna teaches biology and is replacing Phil Connors who, as you know, retired last year." She stood up and there was a brief round of applause.

"Then we have Mr. Josh Porter, a first-year teacher and recent graduate of the U-Dub (local shorthand for the University of Washington)."

Traci elbowed Brooke and whispered, "That's him. Oh, my God. He is to-die-for cute, isn't he?"

Brooke waited for him to turn around and sort of raise a hand to let everyone see him and when he did his eyes met Brooke's, and her heart did a flip. He was not only cute, he's was gorgeous. Tall, thick, dark hair, and a boyishly handsome face that set atop a very nice, very well-built body.

"He could so do me right here and now," Traci said not quite as quietly.

Brooke went to respond when the principal said, "Josh is a math teacher and he'll be working with our remedial students so any help you can offer him will be much appreciated, I'm sure."

Traci leaned over again and said, "Don't go getting any ideas. He is all mine!"

"Lastly, I'd like to ask Miss Adams to please stand."

Brooke was taken by complete surprise and even more so when every head in the room turned to look at her. She stood and bravely smiled while raising a hand slightly as a kind of wave much like Josh had.

"This isn't Miss Adam's first year with us, but in a way it kind of is." There was some polite laughter before he went on. "I want everyone here to know she has my full and complete support, and it is my sincere hope that everyone else will extend their's to her, as well." He scanned the room waiting to make eye contact with every teacher there then said, "Thank you, Brooke," letting everyone know her new first name.

"That was helpful," Traci said.

"Yes, it was. And very thoughtful. It let everyone know who I am without making a big deal about it. Where this place is concerned, all I want to do is be a good teacher."

"That's a given," Traci said. She leaned closer and said, "So I'm wondering how many boys will be signing up for math for the same reasons the girls used to?"

Brooke smiled and stifled a laugh. When the principal was finished, each department head wanted to get together with his or her team to discuss several things. All eight of the math teachers moved to her location as did those who taught science or English or some social science, etc.

"Okay, everyone. Welcome back!" She smiled and said, "Especially to Josh and Brooke." That was the first time Brooke was aware of Josh smiling at her. He'd looked around at the other six people and smiled the entire time, but he had definitely smiled at Brooke.

Once the administrative details were out of the way, the department chair said, "Okay, you have the next four days to get ready before the hounds of hell return." Some more polite laughter. "I don't plan to bother you again, but if you have questions, my door is always open. Please take some time to get to know one another and make yourself available to help anyone who needs it.

Brooke picked up her things and headed back to her classroom. She was almost there when she heard a voice say, "Miss Adams?"

She turned and saw Josh right behind her. "Oh, hi Josh. Please call me Brooke, okay?"

"Oh, sure. Thanks. Hey, listen, I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions. If you have some time, that is. I can come back if you don't."

"No, now is fine. Please come in."

Josh had quite a few questions, but none of them were related to math. All of them revolved around things like attendance, dress code, and discipline. Brooke addressed all of his concerns then asked if he needed anything else.

"I was just curious. The principal said you weren't new but yet you kind of were. Actually being new, I didn't really understand what that meant. Are you a first-year teacher or..."

Brooke smiled and said, "So you haven't spoken to anyone yet?"

She saw the puzzled look on his face then clarified herself. "About me."

"Um...no. I just got hired a few days ago and I haven't talked to anyone except the principal. Why? Is there something I should know?"

"I suppose it's best you hear it from me first, then," she said reaching into her purse for her phone. "I went through a pretty significant change this last year and no one else had seen me before today, either."

"Okay, now I'm really lost. You're not new here, but no one here had seen you before? I can promise you you're not the kind of woman people...well, men at least...would forget. So what am I missing?"

She scrolled through some pictures then said, "This was me when I was a first year teacher." She handed him the phone and waited.

"I think you made a mistake. This looks like some power lifter. Is this maybe your brother or...you're not married, are you?"

Brooke tried not to laugh. "No, I'm not married. That guy is...or was...me."

She saw Josh look at her, then back at the photo, then at her again. "No way," he said.

"Yes, way," she said reaching for the phone. "And this was me at the end of the school year."

She showed Josh a picture of Brock some 70 pounds lighter, but the face was clearly the same. "Jesus!" he said. He looked up at her then said, "That's...that's incredible. I swear to God I'd have never guessed." He handed her phone back then said, "You're...well, you're beautiful. Really beautiful."

"Thank you," she said relishing in the first real compliment she'd ever received from any man and the fact that he was cute as hell was a huge bonus. "I kept this all bottled up inside myself for two decades and at some point it was either this or possibly, you know."

"Damn. I can't even imagine living with something like that for so long. I have to tell you, Brooke, I think you're very brave."

"Thank you, again, Josh. That's so kind of you to say."

"It's the truth. I don't know if I'd have the guts to do what you did. And for the record, the final result is pretty stunning." He quickly added, "In the best possible sense of the word."

"Wow. Um, thank you yet one more time," she said beaming with happiness. "You've truly made my day, Josh." He smiled at her again only this time it was direct and personal and Brooke felt that same tingling she'd felt the first time he'd done so.

"If I can be of any more help, please let me know, okay?" she told him as he got up to leave.

"I will. Thanks for today's help—and Brooke? Thank you for trusting me enough to share something so deeply personal."

She smiled back at him and when he left, she closed her eyes and felt like she was 'swooning' for the first time in her life. "He is so cute!" she said to herself as she sat there reflecting on their first conversation.

The first day of classes went almost according to the script Brooke had written for it. She devoted the first ten minutes of each class to explaining who she was, what she'd done, why she'd done it, then asked if there were any questions. There had been.

The questions ranged from, "Are you a girl in every sense?" to "Do you like girls or guys" to "Is that your real hair?" to a bunch of other trivial things high school kids wanted to know. In nearly each class, there was a snort or two and the occasional snide remark. Rather than get angry or be defensive, Brooke took the time to educate the offending student and that, along with some very strong peer pressure, quelled the negative commentary.

To her pleasure, Josh stopped by during their planning period and asked how things were going. "So far, so good," she told him. "Everyone's been very supportive. I've had a couple of comments, but after talking to them, I think they understand. Or at least they understand it's not okay to be rude."

"I'm here for you if you need any um...outside support," he assured her smiling at her again the way that caused her tummy or heart (or both) to flip.

"It's nice to have a protector," she told him sweetly.

"Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I think a man should protect a woman." He stopped then said, "If you're a feminist and I'm out of line, just tell me and I'll shut up and go away."

Brooke laughed and told him, "I'm a feminist in wanting to be treated equally in the workplace, but I most definitely do not want to ever be treated like one of the guys again. I love being a woman and I guess in most cases, I'm very traditional so...you can be my protector any time."

He smiled again and said, "You don't look like any guy I've ever met, Brooke, so no worries about me treating you like one of them." He hesitated then said, "In fact, you don't even look like most of the girls I know." He saw her raise her eyebrows then told her, "You're a very beautiful woman." Another smile. "Just in case you didn't already know that."

After the first week of class, the weather turned chilly. The clouds settled in the way they did most of the year as the Cascade Mountains blocked them and backed them up all the way to Puget Sound. It was going to be dark, rainy, gray, and gloomy until May or June, but that was the price one paid to enjoy some of the most spectacular greenery on earth and a couple of months of unbelievably beautiful weather during July and August.

Traci invited her to go shopping together that weekend and they spent most of the day at the Southcenter Mall in Tukwila buying sweaters, wool skirts, pants, boots, and other warm clothes. Brooke didn't own a coat and having one was a necessity so she picked up a black one at Nordstroms that was on sale. The only reason she could afford to spend a few hundred dollars on clothes was due to the money her mom had spent on stocking her initial wardrobe.

By the time they left the mall, she was flat broke again, but had a closet full of new things, a good friend in Traci, and the occasional chat with Josh to look forward to.

Monday was a typical September day. The high was 68 and the low was 54. Brooke chose a pretty, long-sleeved white sweater and black skirt to wear on Monday. She wore her mom's strand of pearls with the earrings she'd bought her and a pair of two-inch black heels. When she stepped outside, she was glad she'd bought a coat as the cooler weather enveloped her. As Brock, she'd really never paid any attention to it. Now however, she felt cold anytime it was under 70 which meant she'd be cold for the next 8-10 months.

There was a short faculty meeting after school and the principal wanted to discuss Homecoming among several other things. "We need chaperones, people. The more the merrier. I can't compel anyone to attend, but I'd like to strongly encourage you to help out. Please see Katie if you think you could do that."

Brooke had always volunteered to chaperone as Brock so she was among the first to sign up the following morning. She noticed Josh's name was second on the list and smiled as she signed the roster herself.

He continued to stop by her room occasionally and one day Brooke decided she'd take the initiative to see if there was any chance he might have feelings of any kind for her.

"I love having you stop by during our planning period. I was wondering what you do during lunch? Do you go to the faculty lounge?" They also had the same lunch period and Brooke already knew that's exactly what he did.

"Yeah, I like to get out of the room for a little while. Why? Did you have something in mind?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you might like to have lunch with me in my room. I know it's still a classroom, but it is a break so..."

"I'd like that, Brooke. Are you talking about a one-time thing or maybe more every day-ish?

"Well, that's up to you, but I think I could stand seeing you every day. I mean, if you could stand seeing me that often." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"I can promise you I won't get tired of seeing you," he told her. "Is today too soon to start?"

"Today sounds very nice," she said sweetly. "She you here at 1 o'clock?"

"Okay. One it is," he said. "Oh, you look really pretty today."

"Ah! Thank you, Josh! I think you just made my day—again."

That day, and every day after, he came by her room to have lunch and talk. Sometimes, they talked about math. Other times various kids—the best and the worst—were the topic of discussion. Today, for the first time, they talked about their families.

"So your father doesn't know?" Josh asked genuinely surprised.

"No. Or at least I don't think he does. I'm sure he doesn't want to know either way, though."

"I'm glad your mom is so supportive. My mom is great, too. I lost my dad when I was eight, and I've leaned on her my whole life since. She's my number one supporter, as well, and I'm her number one fan."

As they got to know one another better, they began opening up about themselves, and topics like marriage, children, and career goals came up, too.

A week before Homecoming, they were having lunch together on Friday when Traci walked in. "Hey, you two!" she said. She'd been colder and more distant since learning Josh spent so much time with Brooke and today she had had enough.

Ignoring Brooke she said, "So...Josh. I was wondering. Do you by any chance have a date for Homecoming? Yes, I know we're chaperoning, but well, if you don't have a date, maybe we could...you know, go as a couple." She shot a look at her friend while smiling warmly at the object of her affection.

"Oh, wow. Um, no. I don't have a date. I guess I never thought about it for teachers. Do you guys do that around here?"

Traci ignored Brooke who started to answer and said, "Well, if you want to know what the girls around here do, you should probably ask a real one. One who thinks you're very, very hot, by the way."

Brooke had never been so hurt or felt so betrayed in her entire life. She sat there in stunned silence as Traci shamelessly hit on Josh. "So what do you think? Would you like to go together?"

He'd stopped smiling after her catty comment and just listened politely until she stopped speaking. He looked at Traci then said quietly but firmly, "If there wasn't already someone else I'm very fond of, a very real girl I think is incredibly smart, funny, and beautiful, I might have been interested. Or at least I could have been until you said what you just said."

Traci made a face that said, "What? What did I say that was so bad?" as though she had no idea what she'd just said.

"Not cool, Traci. Not cool at all. So...no thanks. I think I'll pass."

She gave Brooke another dirty look then stood up. "Suit yourself. You could have had anything you wanted with me, but if that's what you're into," she said looking coldly at Brooke, "then...have fun." She flipped her head to the side, spun around, and walked out.

"Wow. That was...awful," Josh said. He looked at Brooke and saw tears welling up her eyes. He reached out for her hand and said, "Hey, don't cry. It's okay. I'm here for you. Just let it go, okay?"

Brooke grabbed a tissue before her mascara started to run and said, "She was the only real friend I had here and now..."

He squeezed her hand and said, "That's not true. You have me, too."

Brooke dabbed her eyes then looked at Josh. His eyes told her he meant what he'd just said and more than anything she wanted him to kiss her so badly it hurt.

"Thank you," she told him. "I'm glad. You really are a good friend."

He seemed to want to say something but hesitated. "What is it, Josh?" she asked.

"Brooke? I'd...I'd like to be more than just your friend. I don't want to ruin the friendship we have, but...well, it's very hard to come in here every day—the favorite part of my day, by the way—and know we're just friends. I...I want more and well, I was wondering if you might possibly want that, too."