All Comments on 'Other People's Problems'

Anyone can change. You developed the main character well, not so sure the cops forgive so easily, but he did do them a solid not pushing it with the 2 other cops. I see this as almost a RAAC story with himself, maybe his dad. I do agree with the main character though, his dad did not do him a favor keeping his mom around, should have cut the bitch loose after her second chance, saved his kid the bad role model and gave him a better one.

Different but I liked it. It showed that there is goodness in everyone. You just need to find it.

I wonder why there is no lawsuit filed against him when he screwed his patient's wife.

Was a good change of pace. Loved the Mookie Taco call out and Dr Pepper.

Can't say gay cuck shit, since he wasn't a cuck. Gay bull shit?

It's your story, but you know that and are a good enough writer to say and do what you need to do with the characters. So don't apologize! I really like the story as we get to know a guy who is a shit mainly because of his family of origin. Through the story we see that there is hope for him because of some tough love and having him man up and get some help. It takes guts to admit you need help. It takes perseverance to keep with it. It's tempting to quit when things get deep and you have to admit your faults. A real man works through the pain.

I like that he doesn't give up on Jeremiah.

Good story!

R.

Good story! The comments I made on another site remain unchanged.

5

I like how the story progressed. I could see how and why he was so self-destructive. I think you have the start of something great here. I hope there are follow up stories.

although the MC was a tough man to like, especially at the start. Good character development and very good story telling. Well done.

Different I liked it keep up the good work thank you!

Wrote a redemption song. looking foward to chapter 2

Truth is most people can be pricks given the right stimuli. I certainly can be. This was a great story, but I'm concerned about your apparent dislike of Dr. Pepper...because of that, I can only give you a 1. JOKING. Gave you a 5.

If you wrote a phone book I would enjoy reading it.

Well written. Nice story. Thank you

Not often I see a story on this site where the Main Character (that’s the protagonist to the wank crowd) actually goes through a believable transformation. He was a jerk... still is a jerk, but he is trying. Refreshing, almost hopeful story. Thanks for your effort.

nothing special, but it was a good story. 4*

A surprisingly good story. Its interesting to see character development in a character I want to hate but only disliked. You did a good job on making him real. Not bad....not bad at all. Thank you and please write more.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I didn't like the way the story started, which had nothing to do with the writing. I just didn't like the main character, as you suspected many wouldn't. I'll also admit I stepped away from the story a couple of times, but was glad I came back.

This story could have been sooooooo much longer. Stories about redemption are some of the best out there and this is no exception. Characters in many of these stories tend to be black and white - either next in line for sainthood or not worth a damn. In truth, people tend to be shades of gray - some good points, some bad, but hopefully striving to be better.

Kudos for taking the time to write the story. I hope to hear more about Brandon.

NO BEATING

Fresh air from a window usually closed. It takes courage and creativity to explore a path less taken. Thanks

Great story

I can always count on a Bebop story to entertain and make me think. True, the MC isn't very likable, but I enjoy the process of seeing someone evolve the way he did. That's why 'Groundhog Day' is one of my favorite movies. Your writing did its normal job of keeping interested and involved in what would happen next. Someday you'll have to tell us what his father said to his mom that was none of his business. Thanks for sharing and taking the time to write a great piece of entertainment.

Brandon was a piece of shit. A dead man walking but didn't get killed and got enough encouragement, in many forms, to change.

He was very real life because he wasn't purely evil.

This was very good work.

I'm always left wondering about so many wives that are either catastrophically stupid or just truly scum to be a notch on this guy's slimy pole.

I'm glad you had at least one woman who wasn't brain dead towards Brandon because it doesn't speak well for women when so many behave like goats around the player type character.

How could the wife of an officer, injured in the line of duty, do that to her husband and family? How especially could she do it with the therapist working with her injured husband?

I can't fathom the low level backstabber she had to become to do that. Crisis reveals true character and hers was pure shit.

Great story.

Redemption is important but it isn’t easy. Brandon has a lifetime of being an asshole and it will take time to undo that but you gotta start somewhere.

As for the cops, maybe he deserved it, maybe he didn’t. Cops are just as likely to have sex and chest on their wives. In fact, “Badge Bunnies” are a thing and how many stories of police having sex on the job have we heard?

Sorry but while infidelity is wrong, it’s wrong on all counts and attacking an unarmed civilian because one of your own spent more time at work than on his marriage...well it’s a divorce waiting to happen.

Outstanding story. Obviously, it was difficult in the beginning to deal with a shithead protagonist, but from very early on you made it clear that he was beginning to pay for his crap, and that made it possible to continue. After that, your writing and plot made reading a pleasure, and the redemption was partial, long in coming, and incomplete at the end just like in real life. Really excellent all around.

I really enjoyed it. Honestly, it ended exactly how it needed to.

Writing can be hard. This was a very insightful story. Good job.

Nice redemption arc.

Excellent story in all aspects. Good character development tied to a well thought out story line of real life situations.

Thanks for sharing the fruits of your talent. Well done.

What makes an asshole an asshole. We see lots of stories about what makes a slut a slut or what why wifes cheat, but rarely see what makes an asshole an asshole. I read your comments after the story and I think the main character suffered plenty. And because of that he caused others to suffer. Luckily for him he had good people in his corner who stood up to and for him and he finally pulled his head out of his ass. I gave you 5 stars. Good job.

A good story from an interesting perspective. No, the MC was not a good person, but he was getting incremental insights into himself and that was making him a better person.

But the story seemed somehow unfocused...diffuse. The only truly offensive part was letting the cops off. Police criminality is a major problem, and suggesting it is somehow tolerable just moves us closer to being a Third World country. That part of the story is no better than writing that because a woman's a whose, it's alright to rape her.

Actually, despite your concerns at the end, I think the fact that he was unlikable was what made the story interesting to read and enjoyable. Thanks.

Excellent!

Excellent sort! A near perfect story of regaining self awareness, change, maturation, and growth. Very well done. Thanks for sharing Bebop3.

Excellent. That was a very thoughtful story from a fresh angle. In hindsight, it seems surprising that I can't remember a story dealing with the causes and effects of cheating like this one did. That was far more impressive than any btb violence.

Well written. A lot of internal reflection. Thanks Bebop. Cheers.

This is the most adult story I've ever read on this site. Great job! 5*s

All too often the focus is on the betrayed. There are numerous reasons why people behave the way they do. Assholes are not always sociopaths. They are almost always narcissistic people who are able to compartmentalize their feelings and emotions so that they avoid feeling pain. Brandon needed to recognize the damage and destruction he leaves in his wake.

Brandon is a product if his upbringing and environmental. He can lay some blame at his parents feet but as an adult it is up to him to make the changes necessary.

I found the character development realistic. This could have been even longer to show a more gradual change but it would be a dry read. I really enjoyed this. I hope you don't get blasted.

Great story. Horrible character with flaws and some redeeming qualities finally and in a believable fashion starts to grow up. When he sees his attitudes being mirrored in his protege it wakes him up. His mom and dad seem very believable and their story is both sad and indicative of a love that once was and is no longer. Keep at it. Excellent stuff.

Excellent story! You took a challenging concept and really made it work. Nothing wrong with an unlikable character, especially when they mature and grow through the tale!

Also, Dr. Pepper is gross. I said what I said.

This is a great story and was a tough, but enjoyable read. The MC has his demons, real demons, and yet has the courage to take a good, hard look at them and then to try and banish them.

I know people who have aspects of his characteristics. They are real people with real problems, and it brought the MC and his parents, as well as his Little Brother to life for me. Not everyone is a hero. But everyone who tries to be, perhaps is.

Thank you, sir. 5*

He needs to apologize to Detective Clancy. That's the only way he can start to really heal. It would be good for both of them. I would like to see what the future holds for the reformed asshole.

I liked the fact that you had him finally aware of what he'd become; can't fix a problem until you recognize it's a problem. You acknowledged the quandary of whether or not to "stay married for the kids", something many spouses struggle with.

I was reminded of a quote from the character Will Graham in the movie "Manhunter":

_____________

Jack Crawford: What are you, sympathizing with this guy?

Will Graham: Absolutely... My heart bleeds for him, as a child. Someone took a kid and manufactured a monster. At the same time, as an adult, he's irredeemable. He butchers whole families to pursue trivial fantasies... As an adult, someone should blow the sick fuck out of his socks...

_____________

In this story, the protag is NOT irredeemable; he's accepted responsibility, he's trying to fix himself. Will Graham's quote about butchering whole families is oddly on the mark: divorce is nothing less than tearing a family apart, but, as was pointed out by your character Brandon, sometimes - maybe - it's better to split the family than to stay together.

Well done. A fresh story that makes you think. 5 stars from me. Thanks for posting.

"I realize that I'm going to take a beating for this story."

Thats becuase this isnt a loving wives story

There is no sex and the MC isnt a loving wife or husband of a loving wife

A well-written story about a very unlikable MC trying to make some changes.

Takes guts to write a thought-provoking psychological piece in LW that doesn't involve a lot of sex.

Good job.

Brilliant, don't ever apologize for writing a story about real life. People that are mad because the character didn't suffer enough want to read a fantasy novel. Your story was real, raw and that transition was fucking brilliant.

While you might not be able to completely makeover Brandon into one of the 'Good Guys", you're doing a fine job of at least making him more sympathetic. Really good writing but I must admit I kind of miss hating on Brandon. 5* from me.

That's it - my comment. :-)

This story was excellent. Unlike most stories written, it had a lot to say about people and relationships. I wish it could have been longer, because I wanted to know what happened in the lives of all the central characters. I guess that’s the best compliment I can give you. Thank you

I like the exploration of the character. It shows that for some, there's a logical explanation for their behavior. This story follows in the same tradition as the protagonist in Javmor79 stories. Nicely done

5* I do like those redemption stories. Needs Chapter 2. Write On!

Good work on bringing him up from being a rectal cavity, looking for more. Oh, I loved the Mookie's House of Taco's!!!

This is really good, is it a one off or will there be more? I say that because even though he's a dick your MC has the readers rooting for him now to pull his shit together and become....I don't know....a responsible human being? So if you are planning on telling us his journey I will say this, if you drop him into the situations that happen here in this category you've created an incredible character that people will be fully invested in INSTEAD of the perfect husband who does everything right, stays faithful, works long hours, dotes on his wife who then betrays him. The usual cardboard clueless innocent man who becomes a legal genius and physically amazing once the divorce starts You drop this guy into that after a few more chapters of personal growth then you got a cataclysmic story line because we could end up caring for this guy if he continues. So my vote is for more parts, if not that bring this excellent method for creating your characters into you next story!

Excellent! Five stars

He fucked up. He really did. It just took him years to realize that, and, when it happened, it was way too late.

If there's one takeaway that is crystal clear, out of this story, it's that there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD that can come out of one parent sticking it out, in an awful marriage, for the supposed sake of the kids. Say whatever you want about the MC - and I bet most of it is quite justifiable - but there's no way he would have been as FUBAR as he was here if his dad kicked his whoring mom out of their house and cut her out of their life the first chance he had, especially given her complete lack of remorse.

People claiming that children ends up better in a normal, two-parent household are full of shit. If one of the parents is fucked-up, it's FUCKING HELL and will traumatize the kids way worst than if their parents were separated - I know that for a fact, since I was raised in such a situation. Well, my folks broke up way too late for me to not pick up some MAJOR TRUST ISSUES that have screwed quite a lot of my past relationships, and that I still carry today. Blink-182 made a whole song about how dumb "Stay Together for the Kids" is moronic. More than time people learn this.

For sure, Brandon should apologize to his dad (and his ex-partner too, for that matter) for being a genuine shithead for far too long... but his father also should apologize to him for failing at explaining his reasoning behind his failed marriage, and why he staid in it for far too long. It's completely inane that he had to wait to be completely fed up with his son to man up and tell him how it was - this is a conversation those two should have had before Brandon FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL, for krist's sake... sigh.

Great story. As some people can deduce from my rant, it hit close to home, although I've never been as big of an asshole as the MC here was (regardless of what some people may say...) More than anything else, what I'm looking for, him most stories, is a main character that actually evolves, grows up somehow, that doesn't stay inert to his issues and/or the events befalling him, that ends up facing them head-on, coming up with some sort of resolutions. I got no interest in spineless, pathetic dumbasses that goes "ah well... guess that's the way it is!" when a conflict arises in their life, when their whole existence is getting fucked over. It took him long enough, and he may still be a douchebag, but the mere fact that Brandon acknowledged his self-destructive behavior, and actually did something about it made me found some sympathy towards him. It's more than I can say for the overwhelming majority of MCs in this category.

Thanks for the share, author.

Brilliant writing, brilliant story. There are plenty of comments of people who can appreciate this the way it was meant to be appreciated. Great exploration of an unlikable character. I can almost sympathize with him.

Quite Good

This is well thought-out and well-written. Unlikable characters can make interesting figures.

Just goes to show when the Bible mentions the "sins of the parents" it knew what it was talking about.

I liked it. Some people don’t understand that all characters aren’t perfect. Even the heel can be redeemed.

turning him into a human being worthy of redemption. An excellent study into human behavior. That takes skill. 5* from me.

Your writing was excellent bringing out various emotions. Not surprised at all for the good responses to it. 5 stars.

...realistic! Totally believable mc ...think I've met him. Excellent story thank you.

Sorry, guess I'm too dumb to understand, but I couldn't slog my way through this. Skimmed last 2/3 but still made no sense so I just didn't vote. Wouldn't want to mess up your score. Good Luck cd

on the last page I had some trouble tracking who was who

I thought it was an outstanding story. Yes, he was an asshole and his beatdown was well deserved. The road to redemption was well done, nice read, five stars.

For a guy who really was physiologically damaged from a fucked up mother he bounced back pretty fast. Turning a new leaf on his life.

you sure make one pay attention. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

Artsy-fartsy ghetto crap that comes off as if a try hard white dude needs to fit in at a BLM protest. You're better than this.

It would be a shame if you’re criticized for a storyline featuring a character who evolves under plausible circumstances into a better person. Most of the protagonists in this category are uninteresting and one-dimensional. Thanks for a compelling read.

You're right, Brandon is a thoroughly unlikable character. And even though he was fooling around with a married woman and there was a lot of conversation about his Mother and Father's problems, this didn't have the "feel" of a loving wives story (how do you like THAT criticism?). I realize you'll got more views in this section and undoubtably more comments, but I'm not sure it should be here. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day the I'm sure there will be 4 or 5 cuckold stories to complain and whine about. This was well written but just not my cup of tea.

Excellent character development.

No chain is stronger than the ones we forge ourselves.

This story deserves a second part. I don't think the protagonist is completely redeemable, but I like the plot so far.

Brilliant story.

In the movie Rainman Tom Cruise plays the biggest asshole and by the end of the movie has this transformation that brings you to like him. I see a lot in your main character as this same transformational icon. Yes he is starts out as a deplorable shit but by the end of the tale he has his shit together. He even takes time to correct Jeremiah and start to repair his relationship with his father. Nice work. A five if I had ever read one.

Tough sledding

It wasn't an easy read, and it must have been a bitch to write. I'm tempted to say you're too good a writer for us, but I wouldn't want to encourage you to leave. Keep writing and I'll keep reading, tough sledding or no.

This got boring real quick!!! maybe NON-EROTIC would have fit better.

Unfinished and yes I see why it stopped there. Just felt unfinished even for a story making the reader draw conclusions. Needed at least another page with the eureka moment.

Unfinished? I don't see that. He HAD his Eureka moment, that's why he's with Janelle, and introducing her to his father.

Nope. This and your last story are WAY below your usual writing standards. Will continue to read your work, when I come across them, but you are no longer one of my favorite authors.

If this story is to stand on its own story, then it is incomplete and slow; but if it is a start of a series then it sets a good foundation/pace for more. Still overall it was a choppy read.

I'm surprised his 'title' as a PE Dr. allowed him to be a Big Brother and PeeWee Coach, that these organizations (and Social Services/Police) are that shallow/desperate to allow a known psychotic to be a role-model/influence to kids.

Barely a 4*

I liked that he was an asshole, but has that redemptive moment, and that he's not all asshole but just broken.

It's a great story. A bit short, considering I feel like I was just coming to know and like the character and now he's gone, but that's really just the sign of great writing.

I love flawed characters who somehow make it through. There are no perfect people in life. I was actually discussing this story with the wife in the car. My daughter's boyfriend was raised by his father when his twat/slut of a mother ran off, came back, ran off, came back...until the father ran her off. So this hit home.

Seemed well written to me. He was an asshole when the story began and was trying to change when it ended. Seemed to make sense that a light went on and he realized he had a problem. I would have liked another chapter or two.

when i began reading it as to why this story didn't have a higher rating, and now that i'm finished i still am. I'll check out Lunette's work. Thanks for writing this. Anonymous

Great story on a part of the cheating wife triangle that we don't read much about. The bastard she cheats with with. You took a real asshole and rehabilitated him into a real human being. It was interesting to learn that another cheating wife, his mother, was the major influence shaping him into the man he wasn't. It took some help, but he may make it. Great story.

I tried to write a similar story arc

I enjoyed it. Shows real development in your abilities. Something to be proud of.

Just another less than average story from one of the puppets. You're even doing her usual job and having one of her exclusive "events." Was she able to force the usual suspects into writing to avoid being in her doghouse? You don't want to fall out of favour. You better write or Queen Randi will ruin your career.

Hello Annie!

"Did the Queen approve this story?

Just another less than average story from one of the puppets. You're even doing her usual job and having one of her exclusive "events." Was she able to force the usual suspects into writing to avoid being in her doghouse? You don't want to fall out of favour. You better write or Queen Randi will ruin your career."

.

How's that obsession going for ya? I realize that you're a bit slow (you just have to read one of your stories to pick up on that), but you are aware that there were invite-only events prior to Randi, right?

.

So, she ruins your 'career' if you don't write for her and (I'm assuming) you are a puppet if you participate in her events? Is that your contention? So, my career must have been ruined and I must not be a puppet. Check the participants list from her last event. Wait for her next event and check the participants list.

.

The truth remains unchanged. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're a jealous mediocrity who is likely just intelligent enough to discern that you are barely average. That has to be painful. You're a one-trick pony who is obsessed with your betters.

.

Does your slavish devotion to everything Randi keep you warm at night? That's more than a little pathetic. Is it more pathetic than you posting as anonymous instead of the ID you post your stories under? I'm not sure. Both are just sad.

Annie, give it a rest. Nobody is forced to do anything. First, you fools complain about being excluded, now you're saying that people are forced to write. Make up your mind.

Thank you for a thoughtful, character-driven story. We don’t get enough real character insight like this anymore.

Loved it. Sometimes people get tired of being a shit (or in this case an asshole). Growing up occurs at different times in people's lives and sometimes not at all. Growth is always hard, no matter if things are rosy when you are growing up, or not.

Thanks BeBop. Another good one.

Fifth comment, all others have disappeared, on this very good story. I enjoyed the depiction of a character not often explored in the LW stories. Talking about the other man, the cheating wife's partner. Brandon was deeply affected by his mother's cheating, and this colored all his relationships with women. It took a lot of hard knocks , and a Frank talk with his father to help him heal. Your story was difficult, but good to read.

Take a beating? By who? Christ, my eyes were glassy by the time I finished. Brandon’s character is a phenomenal piece of literary craftsmanship, and “Other People’s Problems” is one of the finest and most compelling short stories I’ve read in a long time.

By the way, thanks for the heads up on Lunette!

Disagree with his decision to not not sue the police.So he shagged a policeman's wife(it takes two to tango),but that doesn't give them the right to go round assaulting people.Also the incident would have been the talk of the force and the wife's husband would have learnt about her cheating.

Not what I read Literotica for, but an interesting tale. I liked how the plot changed as Brandon got help. ****

Protagonist was an asshole, but at least he had a Freudian excuse. His dad was shit. The story itself mentions this, by way of protagonist's comment to his dad (maybe it would've been better to have a dad that stood up for himself as role model, even if it caused the loss of his barely-there mother).

And if that was dad's rationale, why did he stop giving mom money after son turned eighteen? Does he think children stop needing emotional support from their mother on their eighteenth birthday?

I'd have preferred for Brandon, after he got some help, to lay into his father hard, about all this.

I’m not much of a loving wives reader, it’s just not my cup of tea. That said, I didn’t feel like wasting my time looking for a new story and I like most of Bebop’s writing so here I am. The main protagonist is a dick, not a total dick, who undergoes a bit of a life change. It is a well written story, and kept me reading despite the subject matter.

Gosh all those SuperSeeds "ThugBunny"found and gave back to Mookie must be making him good BUCKS. Nice little throw-in.Good little read Human Psy. Enjoyed all you stories,thank you for your hard work.

You dare to set aside the lascivious and salacious aspects of cheating, adultery, and predation of married spouses in favor of exploring its dismal screwed-up provenance.

This story was just...depressing. And as the author said, the lead character was a self-absorbed prick. On top of that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find another main character in the story that I would piss on if he (or she) was on fire. I have no clue where this story is going, or if it’s just a one-off, but good luck with it, Bebop.